Awareness, Chapter 1
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan fiction
Set immediately after "Dopplegangland" in season 3. Oz did not take Willow back after she cheated on him with Xander, and Willow is dealing with the pain of that as well as the horrifying experience she underwent with Vamp Willow. Buffy and Angel are not together, but are on good terms.
Disclaimer: All names, characters, places, etc. belong to Joss Whedon and company. The story, however, is mine.
A/N: Just Willow=human Willow. Vamp Willow=vampire Willow (I know, that one is a stretch haha). Also, Vamp Willow exists not in the Wishverse but in a different universe altogether.
The Scooby gang sat in the library as Giles hurriedly gathered his spell supplies. Willow stared blankly at the table in front of her, her mind, as always, going a mile a minute. She didn't know what to do about everything that had happened. She didn't know how she was supposed to respond or react. She plain didn't know how she was supposed to act.
Buffy had been staring at her best friend across the table, and she finally decided she couldn't stand the hollow look in the redhead's eyes.
"Will, sweetie, you are alright, yeah?" Buffy asked as she stood up and walked around the table. "You can talk to me if you need to," she said as she bent down beside Willow's chair and put a hand on her arm. Willow didn't turn to look at Buffy, and the blonde felt her friend's arm tense up at her touch.
"Willow, can you look at me, please?" Buffy pleaded, not removing her hand even though she sensed the redhead wasn't fond of the touch.
"I'm fine right now, Buffy," Willow said as she turned and stared into her best friend's hazel eyes. "Just have a lot on my mind." With that, she turned her head away from Buffy and moved her arm slightly to shake the blonde's hand off.
Buffy straightened up and looked at Xander. Both were uncomfortable with Willow's monotone speech and the fact that she had been so curt, but neither had any idea of what to do but wait. They had all just been through quite the strange experience, but for obvious reasons it affected Willow especially. She had the right to think too much and act a little out of character for a while.
"Well then, I believe that's everything we need," Giles said as he walked towards the table with a candle and a large book. "Buffy, if you'll just set this right there," he instructed as he handed her the white candle.
"So what's this spell going to do again, G-man? Put a deadbolt on some cosmic door?" Xander asked as he stood up.
"Essentially yes, that is what it will do, Xander. This should lock Willow's vampire counterpart in her own reality and prevent her from ever returning to ours," Giles explained as he shook out a pentagram with the earth he had in a jar.
Willow stood up out of her chair and pushed it into the table. "What can I do?" she asked, looking at Giles.
Giles thought and carefully chose the following words. "Willow, though I know you have a great desire to learn about magic, and I do often enlist your help in certain spells, I think it may be best if you sit this one out. You're a bit too close to the situation for my comfort."
"Okay," Willow murmured as she pulled her chair back out and sat down once again.
"Buffy, if you wouldn't mind helping me with this?" Giles inquired as he opened the spell book to the correct page.
"Um Giles, I'm not really one for the hocus pocus," Buffy said, looking at Giles questioningly.
"I know that," he conceded, "but this is really quite simple. All you need to do is clear your mind and say these words as I light this candle. I will do the rest."
Buffy looked down at the book for a moment then nodded. "Okay, seems easy enough. I mean, I battle the forces of darkness every night; pretty sure I can handle some reading." She looked at Xander and they both chuckled lightly.
"Magic is no joking matter, Buffy," Willow said quietly, and the three turned to look at her. "This one might be simple, but what Giles always says is true. Spells and spirits are not a toy."
"Of course, Will," Buffy said apologetically. "I understand." She turned to look at Giles with a serious expression on her face.
"Alright then," Giles said. "Xander, you can stay as long as you're silent. Buffy, if I can just get you to stand right here and let us both meditate together for a moment…"
Willow's mind was churning as Giles and Buffy did their best to clear theirs.
Great, the one thing I was working on so I could be a special, useful part of the group, and now it's been taken away from me. I'm not crazy. I'm not insane. Yeah, maybe I'm a little upset, but I can handle the beginning of a basic locking spell. I don't get it. God, I don't belong here. I'm nothing special. I don't know who I am, but I can promise, no matter what, I know I'm nothing special.
Suddenly, Willow couldn't think any more. All her mind could feel was a searing pain. She tried to open her mouth to scream, but she couldn't move her jaw. She couldn't move a muscle. She wasn't sure whether or not her eyes were open; she couldn't feel the lids but everything was pitch black. She was trapped, confused, scared out of her mind. Then she felt something cool on her cheek, and her mind went frighteningly dark.