A/N: it's been like 2 fucking years since i published anything and its one in the morning but courtney and scott have captured my heart and this idea came to me and would not go away so here now you have to read it sorry
soundtrack: matthew perryman jones - save you ((instrumental version but the lyrics fit too imo))
review or we aren't homies
Courtney felt restless. She was sitting primly on the steps of the cabin, wearing nothing but a thin sweatshirt over her pajamas. It wasn't cold enough for her to be shivering, not really, but she was doing it anyway. Courtney's mother had once told her that just like her brain, her body had the tendency to overreact, and the older she became the more truth she found in those words.
Her arms were wrapped loosely around her legs, chin resting atop her knees as she sat alone in the dark, listening to the sounds of the forest.
She needed her rest, she knew that she needed her rest if she was going to compete at 110% tomorrow. But tired as she was, her brain and heart were too heavy, too full for sleep.
The itchy sheets of the cabin bunk and the sounds of her teammates breathing quietly had felt smothering, and so she'd darted outside to think, to breathe in the fresh woodland air and hopefully clear her mind.
She felt as though her thoughts were being pulled in a million directions at once, but they all seemed to be centered around one thing.
Scott.
She pressed her forehead against her knees and exhaled sharply, eyes squeezing shut against the onslaught of emotion. He was funny and smart and /sincere/, an open book, unashamed of his roots and unafraid to present himself to the world as he was.
In truth, he was somewhat unkind. Manipulative as a competitor, certainly, but she was too. Ruthless, unflinching, stubborn. She admired these things about him just as she admired them about herself.
And on top of all of that...she liked him. Really and truly she did, she liked him in a way that she had not liked anyone since Duncan. He made her smile, made her heart stir. She cared about him. She wanted him to be happy.
That had always been the truest testament of her affection for someone - she knew she cared when she would find herself suddenly concerned for their happiness in a real, absolute way, sometimes for no reason at all.
It was hard. Duncan had hurt her, wormed his way into her heart slow and patient and then he'd broken it. She was no longer angry with him for it - any and all resentment she'd been feeling had vanished the moment she'd seen him for the first time on the island after avoiding him for so long - but the thought of losing herself in someone once again was terrifying.
She knew that Scott was different from Duncan, vastly so. Less interested in the chase and more interested in her - Courtney could see it in the softness of his eyes when he looked at her.
Duncan was inherently kinder, that was true, but Scott was more honest. She had gained a new appreciation for honest people in her time on the show, found herself seeking it out when considering potential friendships.
There were an infinite number of things she appreciated about him as a person besides that. He had crazy fire colored hair and blue eyes that reminded her vaguely of a cold ocean. His complexion was creamy and his freckles were unfairly adorable. He had very nice teeth and an even nicer smile.
He was cunning, but not mean, not really, not in the way that Heather was mean. He was filled with the spirit of competition and she liked that about him.
She would be lying if she said she didn't notice the way that he lit up when she bossed him around. She would also be lying if she said it didn't kind of turn her on.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt someone drape a blanket around her shoulders, and she glanced back, unsurprised to find Scott fixing her with an easy grin
"I had to snag this from the victory cabin." He informed her, obviously proud of himself. "The blankets here suck and you were shivering."
She smiled at the ground and pulled the warm fleece tighter around her, scooting over slightly on the steps by way of invitation. He sat next to her, their shoulders pressed tightly together and the smell of him all around her - like pine needles and cheap, generic soap.
"Thank you. That was very thoughtful." She said, gentle. He shrugged it off, but she didn't miss the infinitesimal widening of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. It made her heart swell.
He did not ask her why she was sitting alone on the steps so late at night, or try to fill the silence with small talk, and for that she was grateful. She didn't trust herself to speak just yet.
The quiet between them was comfortable and familiar in a strange way, and she reveled in it, her thoughts finally coming to a halt. It was peaceful.
She rested her head on his shoulder and felt her eyes slip shut, too warm and comfortable to even attempt to keep herself from drifting off.
She felt him press a lingering kiss to her hair, and then she felt nothing.
When Courtney woke up it was to sunlight on her face and the sounds of Heather and Gwen bickering over something in another room.
She was tucked into her bunk as though she had never left, her sweatshirt folded neatly on the dresser where it had been before she'd put it on to sit outside.
Her memory of the night before was fuzzy at best, and she began to wonder if it had been a dream. Then she noticed what she was wrapped in - the fabric of the blanket was thick and fuzzy and soft, unlike the quilts that came with the loser cabin.
She brought it to her nose inhaled gently - it smelled like laundry, mostly, but it was tinged with the sharp scent of pine needles. Pine needles and soap.
At breakfast, he flirtatiously nudges her foot under the table, hiding a smile behind his hand, and she grins, a real grin for the first time in as long as she can remember. She feels giddy, untouchable, on top of the world.
Fearless, she nudges back.