When the doors of the Great Hall open I look up from my plate. There they are, walking next to each other.. all three of them. As usual. The only difference is the fact that she isn't looking at me. Not steeling a glance in my direction and giving me a secret smile.
I sigh and turn back to my plate in frustration. She will always hate me, after what I did I will never get her back. I ignore my fellow classmates and stand up to take my leave. Then I see her. She is looking at me. Straight at me. Her eyes are not wandering across the tables, she really is looking at me. There is something I recognize is her eyes but I can't quite put my finger on it. I shrug it off and walk out into the hall. When I walk around the corridors of our favourite places I let my mind wander back to a few nights ago.
'Draco, please you are not this person!' Her eyes are starting to water and I feel a pinch of guilt. Just a bit.
'I don't know what to do, He'll kill me!' She stays silent for a while. Just watching me. Pity in her eyes.
'I don't need your pity,' I tell her annoyed. The corners of her mouth turn up in a small smile.
'I know. That's why I don't pity you.' I turn around to face her. My hands on the sink behind me, welcoming the cold feeling in my palms. She walks closer to me and puts her hand on my chest.
'Why can't you believe I care for you, and that the feeling you just saw in my eyes wasn't pity but fear? Fear of losing you, of seeing you in this state.'
I stay quiet. Listening to our breaths. Hers calm and steady, mine hitched and uneven. She is never afraid. I envy her for that. I've told her almost everything about my meeting with the Dark Lord tonight. I couldn't otherwise. She was the one who found me on the stairs just outside the doors. Not being able to stand up straight she helped me, knowing I wouldn't accept help from another person.
'Draco, let me in.' She whispers closing in on me. Putting another hand on my cheek, forcing me closer to her. I let her. Softly she pulls me further so our lips almost touch.
'I care for you.' Then our lips meet and I feel her sigh and relax. In a flash I remember something the Dark Lord told me.
'Everyone you love will be killed, Draco.' I pull back en push her away slightly. She looks confused.
'I don't want you.' I whisper just loud enough to know she'll hear me.
'You don't want me.' She repeats me. She smiles. 'This won't work, Draco. I'm not going anywhere. You can try and push as hard as you can but I'm not leaving you.'
I am confused for a second before I come back to my senses and realize she is, again, moving forward.
'NO!' I push her a little harder this time. She stumbles but stays on her feet. Her face crumbles when she realizes I am serious.
'I don't understand.'
'What don't you understand? You're not worthy of me! You are a mudblood.' Shocked she steps away from me. I hurt her in the right spot. 'That's right, step away from me, not quite who you thought I was, am I.' I mock her with a sting running through my chest. But I know why I'm doing this. She needs to live.
'Draco.' She begs me.
'That's right, beg me! In a few weeks more of your kind will do so.'
'Please. Stop this. This is not you!' She puts out her hand to me, as to touch me but thinks the better of it and pulls her hand back.
'Just stuff it Mudblood. Go back to your muggle loving boyfriend and tell the boy-who-lives we're ready for him.'
Her eyes are watering and she stumbles on her feet again. This time not because she got pushed but because the emotions are getting the better of her.
'That's right. That's where you belong.' I say when her knees give in and sits on the cold floor. 'Bowing down to us, purebloods.'
She looks up with tears in her eyes.
'I hate you.' She says.
'I love you too, mudblood.' I whisper to her when I walk past her. As soon as the door closes behind me I hear her cry. Another sting burns me inside. But I walk on, knowing that I just saved her live.
Knowing that she will always hate me is better than knowing that she is dead because she loved me.
I walk to the bathroom and go to the sink. My hands grip the sides and I look at my face in the mirror. Always pale but now I am looking like a ghost. I sigh loudly and let the water run over my already cold hands. I hear the doors open behind me and I in the reflection I see it is her.
'Draco.' A sad smile plays on her lips.
'What do you want?' I sigh. Not in the mood at all.
'I just want to let you know something.'
I turn around. She stands too close to me again. But ignores my attempt to create more space between us. She puts both hands on my cheeks and pulls me closer. Her lips touch mine and a spark flies between us. When we part she lets her lips wander close to my ear. Her breath tickling the sensitive spot behind my ear.
'You lost me, Draco. I promise.' Before I can answer she turns around without looking at me and heads out of the bathroom. Leaving me alone. Though I am sad, her words also make me feel better.
She really is the brightest witch of our age.