Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own Glee or the song I know you won't by Carrie Underwood.
She was standing in the middle of the room, staring for the last time at the place she had called home for the past 5 years. Her 18 months old son Aaron Finn Puckerman was on her hip, his little head resting against his mother's shoulder as he sucked his thumb. He looks so much like his father and her heart broke that much more as her gaze moves from her son to the now emptier room, all hers and Aaron's things were gone, they were packed and on a moving truck on their way across the country to their new house, all that was left was Noah's things and most of the furniture they had got together. She didn't wanted them, she didn't want all the memories that came with them, she was moving because she couldn't deal with all the memories of the happiness they once had, the hurt and sadness that has now all around the place but specially, she wanted to get away from what could have been, everything they planned for the future and that now was gone, destroyed just like her heart and her dreams of a family and happy endings.
Rachel held her son tighter to her as her eyes welled up with tears and she was trying hard to hold it together, she had to be strong for the little boy in her arms, he needed his mommy to be strong because his life was changing so much already. Aaron pulled his head from her shoulder and looked at his mom's sad face and teary eyes, "Mommy, where daddy?" and that's all it took, three little words from her son and she crumbled down, tears now falling freely from her eyes and she began shaking. Aaron was so confused seeing his mommy crying like that, so he just wrapped his chubby little arms around her neck and hugged her tight, as Rachel held on to him for dear life. Her little boy was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely, from giving up, he was from now on her only reason in life, and he was so innocent; he was only asking where his daddy was but how could she answer that?. How could she tell his 1 and a half year old son that his daddy wasn't here and he wouldn't be seeing him in a while? How could she tell her son that she was divorcing his dad? What words could she possibly use to explain to her innocent baby boy that the reason his dad wasn't there with them, the reason his dad had not been there more and more for quite a while now, was because his father was cheating on her, that he had another woman and that he rather spend his time with her instead of with his wife and son?. But there wasn't any words, she couldn't explain that to him, he was still so little, so Rachel did the only thing she could, "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so so so sorry. Mommy is so sorry! It's just you and me now, baby". She kissed his forehead repeatedly as she sobbed, "But he loves you, baby boy. Daddy loves you so much, I know he does, that will never change. I'm the one he stopped loving. I'm so sorry Aaron…Mommy is sorry that she couldn't keep your family together. I'm sorry for failing you, sweetie. I just hope one day you can forgive me". She couldn't keep talking, she just weep, and holding her son tight against her as her sobs raked her body.
"He has nothing to forgive you, Rach. If someone needs to beg for his forgiveness is Puck, not you. He is the one that cheated, he is the one that destroyed this family. He had the best woman in the world, he got you to marry him and he was one lucky man to have such an amazing little boy…and he was the idiot that gave it all up for a cheap…toss on the sheets", Sam bite back the bad words because Aaron was a little sponge, but he couldn't hold back his anger. He had been friends with both, Puck and Rachel since high school, he knew what they both had gone through and he just couldn't believe Puck had done this with their marriage, he couldn't believe he'd done it to Rachel. Ever since he found out he had been itching to beat the man he once thought as a best friend into a pulp, if he didn't jumped on a plane and came to L.A. to do that was because Rachel had begged him not to, and made him swear not to tell anything. How could a man be so stupid and throw away the best life any guy could hope for, all just because of sex, even more, sex with Quinn Fabray?. Sam pulled a shaking, sobbing Rachel into a hug, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her. He heard footsteps coming to a halt and then a small gasp, followed by a slender figure rushing towards them.
"Oh honey, no. Come here, don't cry", Kurt pulled Rachel into his arms and tried to calmed her down. Sam still kept his hand rubbing soothing circles on Rachel's back. Aaron pulled back and looked at his mother, his own hazel green eyes full of tears too, "Yeah mommy, no cry. Me no like mommy sad". Rachel didn't want her little boy to see her falling apart like this, she was the mom, she had to be strong to protect him and hold him when he cried not the other way around. So she pulled herself together because her son needed her, she had him, even if Noah had taken everything from her with his betrayal, even when he had hurt her more than anyone before, he had given her Aaron and for that she would be eternally grateful. She wiped her tears away and smiled at the baby boy, "I won't cry anymore, okay honey? Mommy won't be sad anymore", the boy nodded and gave her a kiss, "I wove you mommy", he said as he gave her a tight hug, "I wove you more, munchkin". She stood there hugging her son until Sam cleared his throat, and they pulled apart and turned to see him, "Come on, little man let's go make sure we have all your cars in the bag", the blonde man opened his arms for the kid and the little boy jumped on them, "And me panes, Ucle Sam. No leave me panes", the blonde chuckled as he carried to boy to the door, "Of course we won't leave your planes, buddy". The boy loved his planes and his toy guitar because his daddy liked both of those.
Once they were out the door, Kurt enveloped Rachel in a tight hug, "You're not alone on this, sweetheart. We're right here, and I won't leave you alone. We're gonna take care of you and Aaron. You have us, Rach". And she hugged him that much tighter because she really needed to know she wasn't alone, it felt like a weight been lifted off her shoulders knowing someone cared and had her back, because she had felt so utterly alone for so many months; it was a relieve to know she and Aaron had people there for them to lean on through all of this. And once again she knew she had done the right thing by calling Kurt and Sam and asking them to come and be with her for this, when she finally packed her things and leave her cheating husband.
It wasn't easy, not at all, in fact it had taken her a long time to finally have the courage to make a decision instead of just hide. She must be a hell of an actress because for months she had pretended her husband wasn't cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend, and that her marriage was still the bond of love she had vowed to never break instead of the joke it really was. Rachel had planned this carefully, she had to think 4 times before making any decision because Aaron was in the middle of all and she would never hurt him, so she had to do this right. She had been slowly setting it all in place, she had talked to her agent and he already had quite a few job offers for her in NY, she had called her best friends and asked them to help her find a place for them, everything was done. She had found the invoice for the hotel reservation in Napa for the weekend about 3 weeks ago, that's when she set everything in motion. She had begged to Noah to take time off and take her to Napa, just the two of them, for a romantic getaway for months, she had talked no stop about how amazing it would be to be there with him alone, and he was always busy, but he was taking her, he was taking Quinn. She had held a tiny little hope that he would surprise her, so she waited, 3 days after finding the invoice he told her he had a business trip on that exact weekend, and it was then, in that exact moment, when Noah lied to her face for god knows what time, that she finally gave up on him, on their "love" and on this marriage. Rach settled everything and then called Sam and Kurt and told them she was leaving and asked them to come because she needed them, and so the day Noah left for his "business trip" they arrived, helped her pack up her and Aaron's things, put them in the moving truck and shipped them to NY before the four of them fly there this afternoon, before Noah came back. She couldn't yet believe that 6 years of relationship, 4 of marriage, were all ending now, and like this; but it had to be done, she couldn't keep doing this to herself and to her son.
Kurt looked her in the eyes and asked if she was ready, and she nodded, grabbing the two envelops from the table and heading to the master bedroom. When she entered she felt like she couldn't breathe, all the memories came rushing back, all those times Noah had made love to her in that place, and the times they just laid in bed, cuddled into each other talking. Rachel walked over to the bed and slowly ran her hand over the mattress wandering where had all that love went? What happened to the man she love? Because the Noah she fell in love with would had never done this to her and their family. She let one tear fall, one tear, which was all she would give him anymore. She placed the yellow envelop on the bed and on top of that the smaller white envelope with his name on it. Then she walked to the stereo that was on the side of the room and put in the CD she had made, it contain only one song, the song she had wrote for him. She put it on loop so the song would be played over and over again until Noah came home, she knew she had at least another 5 or 6 hours before that happened. She walked out of the room after one last look around and then headed back to Kurt's awaiting arms, she grabbed her purse and carry-on bag and they headed out to the airport.
Rachel stared out of the window the whole ride to LAX, watching the city she had called home for 5 years. She remember the day she moved here, Noah had been waiting for her outside the gate with the biggest bouquet of red roses. It had been a year since Noah had been deployed and injured during an ambush, exactly 10 months since he showed up on her door in NY telling her he was in love with her, that he had realized he made a mistake getting back together with Quinn and that when he thought he was living his last minutes of life she was the only one in his mind, and he got her and her heart right there and then. They began dating that day and 4 months later Noah got promoted and offered a position as flying instructor on a base an hour away from L.A. They lasted 6 months on a long distance relationship until they couldn't take been apart, so Rachel packed up her life and moved to L.A., living friends, career and everything else in NY because her heart was here. They began living together and despite their fights it was perfect. A few months later she got a role on a new t.v. show, that turned out to be a hit show for 4 years. 6 months after moving Noah got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife, one year after arriving at L.A. she became Mrs. Puckerman in an amazing ceremony overlooking the ocean, her dream wedding. Noah left the air force and became an sports agent, he became partner with his brother Jake and with Matt Rutherford, who had been doing that since graduating college, their agency became one of the best in the west coast, almost all of the Lakers and the L.A. Galaxy were their clients. A little over two years ago she had found out she was pregnant with Aaron and they couldn't had been happier, everything in their lives was working out great. Noah's business was thriving and her show was on its last season, which leave her free to enjoy her pregnancy and motherhood. She took a sabbatical after Aaron was born, becoming a stay at home mom because she wanted to spend every minute with her baby, not wanting to miss anything of him, and it was the best decision because her little boy was amazing, he was the light of her life. 8 months ago she was offered to make her first album and she accepted and had been working on that since then, her agent had arranged that she would finish the recording back in NY now. And it was around that time she found out Noah was cheating on her with none other than Quinn Fabray. Rach had suspicions for a couple of months but she refused to believe Noah would cheat on her, it wasn't until she accidentally saw a text where they set a date for them to meet. She followed him and saw them kissing. She was so mad at first, furious, she wanted to ripe their heads off, but when she came back home hell bent on confronting him and throwing his cheating ass on the street, she watched Aaron sleeping peacefully and she became terrified. She was scared to death of raising him alone, she was afraid that is she break his family he will grow up and hate her for that; and she couldn't do it. Deep down she knew she was scared of losing Noah for herself too, so she hold it up, she pushed the truth aside and pretended she didn't knew everytime he lied to her to go be with Quinn, she pretended not to smell her on him late at night, she pretended he wasn't distant when they made love, and then she pretended they were still making love instead of having sex because Rachel loved him so much and couldn't picture her life without him. Bu even the best actress can only pretend for so long, because not even the bravest men would voluntarily put themselves through daily torture forever, the rest of her life was too long to live with no love and no dignity.
The arrival to the airport, the security check and the boarding was a blur to her. Before she knew it she was on her seat, with Aaron asleep in her arms looking out the window to the clear sky. Her mind wandered back to two nights ago, the night before Noah was going away, she asked him to come home early and he had agreed. He got to spend some good quality time with Aaron, they played on the pool, played with his toys and watched a movie before Noah read him a story and put him to bed. Rachel knew this was her last night with her husband, this was the last time she would be Mrs. Noah Puckerman, tomorrow after he was gone she was gonna packed her belongings, grab her son and leave him so he could finally be free to be with the woman he really wanted. But that night, just for that night, she was going to be selfish, she wanted to make love to the man that she loves more than anything and just forget about the fact that he was the same man that had been slowly killing him with his lies for months. That night she brought out the champagne, put on her sexiest lingerie, played their song (the same song he sang to her when he came to NY for her, the one that was playing in the background when he proposed and that he sang to her on their wedding day), lit candles and made love to her husband all night. And she did made love to him, she poured all of her into that moment, put her heart and soul into every kiss, every touch, every caress, every thrust, every hushed whisper, every I love you; all the love she had for that man was pouring out of her because that was the last time she would have him like this. When he fell asleep, after hours of love making she just stared at him and watched him sleep, committing into her memory all his features. The next day when he left she told him I love you looking him deep in the eyes, and kissed him for all she was worth, she then made Aaron hugged him super tight and tell his daddy he loves him and then watched him leave. Rachel then closed her eyes and replayed in her mind that last night with her Noah.