Haru sighed heavily as he looked out at the ocean. He watched the waves crash against the sand, carrying away small shells and then pushing them back to the shore. His arms loosely hugged his legs, absentmindedly curling his toes in the warm sand and feeling the soft grains run over his skins. The sun was set low in the sky, but not yet enough to emit the beautiful colors of the sunset. Haru could not see or hear any other people on the beach, only the occasional bird scurrying by. It was just him and the ocean; oh, how he missed that beautiful, endless expanse of water. He watched the ocean calmly, though he mind raced, much like how under the calm surface of the ocean, currents raged throughout the waters. He felt like there was a weight on his entire being, body and soul, keeping him from reaching the water.
Gazing up at the sky, Haru watched thin, wispy clouds float by in a lazy breeze. They passed in front of the sun, blocking its warming rays for a mere moment before moving on and allowing the warmth to once again reach Haru's skin. Dropping his eyes back to the sea, the black haired boy scanned the horizon. The sun was reflecting softly off the deep blue water, and the ocean grew gradually more still. The waves slowed to barely lapping at the shore, and the breeze coming from the ocean subsided. Haru placed his hands on the sand, pushing himself up to stand. He patted the powdery sand from his clothes before turning and walking away toward the sidewalk. He had not worn shoes, and all he had brought aside from his clothes was his phone and headphones. As he walked, he kept his eyes trained on the ground. He heard children playing and adults talking, cars going by, but nothing grabbed his attention. He did not feel right.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his headphones and plugged them into his ears. He withdrew his phone from his pocket and clicked the play icon, and suddenly his entire world was enveloped in music. No other sounds reached his ears as music flooded his mind. No one ever listened to music with him, so no one knows what he listens to. His songs range greatly from classical to rap, to everything in between and after. Haru, quite honestly, enjoyed any kind of music, but particularly those songs that were relatable. As he continued to walk, he felt his mood begin to shift into one that began to make him angry. He felt his heart beat a little faster, and his shoulders became tense. Recently, he had been noticing that his back would ache for hours after he laid down in bed, or sat in the tub. He knows now that it is probably due to his muscles growing tense as he thinks.
Haru could see his house, and the steps that led to it. He took each step slowly, making his way up to his front door, which was always unlocked. He opened the door and walked in, immediately taking his clothes off as he headed straight for the bathroom. Turning on the shower, Haru set his phone on the country and allowed the songs to play out loud, filling the bathroom with music. Stepping into the shower, Haru took a long time to wash his body and hair, enjoying the feeling of hot water beating on his skin.
And now you're dead inside,
Still you wonder why
The music echoed through the room. Haru stood still under the hot spray of the water, looking down at the ground as water flowed off his head and shoulders and down the drain.
You're on the edge and falling off,
It's all over for you.
Aggressively, Haru turned the water off and got out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and began furiously drying his hair and skin, which had turned a light red from the hot water, but was now feeling raw from the towel. Haru looked into the mirror, glaring at his reflection with tears in his eyes. Why did everything suddenly have to become so hard? Why was everything getting so confusing?
He grabbed his phone and shut off the music, listening now to the silence of the room. Taking his sweatpants from the bathroom counter, Haru pulled them on and headed out of the room. He went directly to his bedroom, not feeling much like eating. Plopping down on his bed, he set his phone on the nightstand and laid on his side, facing away from the device. For a long time, Haru stared at the wall. He felt some tears slide down his face and nose, dripping onto his white sheets. Soon after, an exhaustion took over his mind. He felt his eyes close, and his body begin to relax. A sensation of falling overwhelmed him before everything was dark and quiet, and he was finally asleep.
Everything that had been happening… It couldn't reach him in his dreams. Right?