Darkness Falling-Sequel to In a Different Light
By Ginny (vkinneman@aol.com)
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Robert walked away from Donald Anspaugh without a further word. What was left to say, he thought to himself as he headed back to his office. He entered the room and flopped on the couch, not bothering to turn on the light. He had no idea how much time past as he sat and contemplated just how much his life was about to change. The one thing that gave his life meaning was about to be taken away.
The sound of the phone ringing brought him out of the fog a while later. He didn't bother to answer it; instead he let it go to voice mail. When his pager didn't go off he knew it wasn't a medical emergency. But then again, he didn't really think anyone would be calling him in the event of a medical crisis.
Something made him pick up the phone and check the message.
"Robert, it's Elizabeth. Donald Anspaugh just called me and I'm a little worried about you. Call me if you receive this. I'm going to try you at home."
Robert sat down on the corner of the desk as he ran his hand over his eyes. He picked up the phone a few moments later and dialed the number he'd long ago committed to memory.
"Hello," Elizabeth answered, a little out of breath because she was running around with Ella.
"Lizzie, it's me." he said quietly, knowing he was the only one who ever called her that.
"Robert, where are you? Are you ok?"
"I'm in my office. I'm fine."
"I can tell you are not fine. How come you didn't answer the phone a few moments ago?"
"I, uh, I was in the bathroom," he said, lying through his teeth.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.
Robert considered her offer as he heard Ella laughing in the background. "No, sounds like you and Ella are having a good time. I'm going to go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Robert, wait," she said as she heard the click as Robert hung up. She went back to playing with Ella but couldn't get the depressed sound of his voice out of her head. She packed Ella's backpack, grabbed her purse and headed out for her car. She was just out of the driveway when she burst out laughing, having no idea what she was going to say when she ended up on Robert's doorstep. It was just her luck that there was little traffic to slow down her journey and give her time to think about what she was going to do, going to say.
As Elizabeth pulled up to the large house she took a few deep breaths and opened her car door. His car was in the driveway so she knew he was already home. She'd never been in his house; she'd only picked him up for work a few times when his car was in the shop. It was large; way too large for only one man. A man that spent very little time there in the first place. She took Ella by the hand and walked up the path that cut through the well manicured lawn. After only a moment's hesitation she rang the bell with determination.
The sight of the woman who answered the door threw her for a second but she quickly realized it must be his housekeeper.
"Hello. Is Robert home?" asked Elizabeth as she felt her determination fade just a little.
"Yes, ma'am, who may I say is here?" she asked properly as she moved aside and let Elizabeth and Ella into the large, well furnished foyer.
"Dr. Corded...Elizabeth," she said as Ella tugged on her arm, "And Ella," she added as her daughter flashed the housekeeper a huge smile.
The housekeeper disappeared down the hall, leaving Elizabeth to look around. It was impeccably decorated, manly yet not too dark.
Dorothy, Robert's housekeeper knocked once on the door of the library. "Dr. Romano, Dr. Corday and Ellen are at the door."
"Ella," he corrected her quickly as he put down his drink and stood up.
"Do you need anything sir?" Dorothy asked as she moved to let him pass by.
"Not right now, thanks," he said as he headed for the front door. If it were anyone else he would have tried to at least pull himself together a little, maybe tuck his dress shirt back in, but it was Lizzie and he didn't feel the need to try and hide anything. He was a wreck and tucking in a shirt wasn't going to fool her.
As he hit the foyer Ella let go of Elizabeth's arm and launched herself towards Robert. He turned quickly enough so his left arm didn't take the brunt of the collision. He knelt down and gave her a quick hug, looking towards Elizabeth with a look of gratitude. Elizabeth couldn't believe how quickly Ella had taken to Robert. They had seen each other a few times at the hospital since the night that Robert had stayed over. He had won her over easily with his willingness to read and play with her. Last time Ella was in his office Elizabeth was surprised to see that Robert had picked up some little toys and a few videos.
"Ella, be careful," said Elizabeth as she took Ella by the hand so Robert could stand up.
"She's fine Lizzie," he said as he motioned for them to follow him into the kitchen.
Dorothy had put out some cookies and put on the tea kettle. She put the basket of tea bags on out on the island and turned her attention towards Ella. "Would you like to watch TV?"
Ella nodded her head and looked to Elizabeth for permission. "Sure sweetheart, go ahead."
They headed down the hall to the family room.
Robert sat down on one of the stools at the island and sighed wearily. "So, you came over to check up on me? he asked.
"Yes," Elizabeth said simply.
"Thank you."
"So, what happened today?"
"Donald took away my livelihood and my life sucks."
"Well, I guess you've had a bit of a day then," commented Elizabeth as she moved to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back a little so he rested against her chest, his head tucked under her chin.
"That's an understatement," he commented wryly.
Elizabeth knew he needed to talk about it but as usual he seemed reluctant. She also knew that pushing him was the quickest way to get him to shut down. As they waited for the water to boil she just held him quietly. When the kettle whistled she planted on soft kiss on the top of his head and went to make the tea. Robert smiled as Elizabeth quickly made herself at home in his kitchen. He took out a tea bag for himself and pushed the basket across the island so she could pick one.
"I have a fire going in the library, you want to sit in there?" asked Robert as put a spoonful of sugar in his tea.
"Library sounds lovely," she replied with a smile as she picked up her mug and the plate of cookies.
She followed Robert down the hall to the library. It was definitely the kind of room she would expect to find in his house, dark paneling, floor to ceiling bookcases, stone fireplace and leather furniture. Robert motioned for her to have a seat on the couch. Sinking down into the soft leather Elizabeth sighed, a little louder than she had intended.
"Comfortable Lizzie?" he smirked.
"Very."
Elizabeth watched as Robert fidgeted with his tea, with the hem of his untucked dress shirt, with the spoon. She let him be for a few minutes as she looked around the room. The fireplace was indeed lovely, giving light to the dark but comfortable room. The coffee table held a wide variety of magazines, some of which seemed to fit Robert's personality and profession, The New England Journal of Medicine, Men's Health and Sports Illustrated, while others were slightly surprising, a gardening magazine, GQ and a Yankee Candle catalog.
Just as it looked like Robert was about to talk they heard two sets of footsteps making their way down the hall. Dorothy knocked once and poked her head in, "Dr. Romano, I need to get going and I think Ella's getting tired," she said as Ella came into the room and plopped herself on the couch and snuggled up next to Robert. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
"That's fine, Dorothy. Thank you."
"Yes, thank you Dorothy. It was very nice to meet you."
"You too ma'am, Ella. Goodnight Dr. Romano. I will see you in the morning."
Dorothy closed the door behind her as she left the room. "She didn't nap well this afternoon," explained Elizabeth, "Do you have somewhere I can put her down?
"There's a crib upstairs in the guest room," he said as he put down his mug and stood up.
"Robert, why in the world do you have a crib?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"Dorothy has a grandson who is about Ella's age. She brings him over once in a while. I also have some toys and probably a sippy cup or two," he said with a broad grin.
Elizabeth just looked at him with amazement. Robert took Ella by the hand and led her up the stairs to the guest room while Elizabeth went to the kitchen to grab her backpack.
By the time Elizabeth had found them Robert had taken off Ella's shoes and was trying to undo the straps on her denim overalls. It was clear he was struggling. Ella's squirming, coupled with his uncooperative hand had frustrated him quickly. Elizabeth stepped in to help just as Ella was inching her way towards a tantrum. She undid the straps and stripped off the overalls and turtleneck in no time. Robert took the toys out of the crib, something he could do one-handed.
"I'm going to go back downstairs while you get her to sleep," he said as he tossed a soft green blanket on the bed. He waved to Ella who held her arms out to him. With a sweet smile on his face he leaned over and kissed the top of her blond head. "Good night sweetie," he said softly before turning and heading out of the room.
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While Elizabeth rocked Ella and read her a story Robert changed into a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants before going back downstairs. After putting the tea cups in the dishwasher he went back to the library and poured himself drink from the bar in the corner. He downed a glass of Scotch quickly and then poured himself a second. He was chilly so he grabbed the afghan from the chair and threw it over his shoulders. With a heavy sigh he lowered himself down on the tufted leather footstool in front of the fireplace. The scotch worked quickly to warm him from the inside and the fire warmed him from the outside.
With Ella sleeping peacefully, her arms wrapped around a stuffed bear that was in the crib Elizabeth found a bathroom before heading back down to the library. Robert was sitting motionless in front of the fire when she entered the room. He didn't hear her hanging in the doorway and it gave her a chance to get a good look at him. Shoulders slumped and head hanging he was the picture of despair. Tears welled up in Elizabeth's eyes, much to her surprise. As she wiped them away Robert stood up and went to make himself another drink. "She sleeping?" he asked as he crossed the room.
"Yes, out like a light." said Elizabeth as she sat down in the leather wing chair by the foot stool that Robert had just vacated.
"You want something to drink?" asked Robert as he motioned vaguely towards the bar.
"No, I'm fine," she said quickly as she bit back the urge to ask him how many he'd had already.
"I think this is number 4," he snorted as he sat back down on the foot stool.
"I didn't ask," Elizabeth pointed out.
"But you were thinking it," he said as he took a large gulp.
"Well, as long as I was thinking it, I'll ask my next question; you didn't take anything for pain did you?" she asked, instantly regretting it.
"For God's sake Lizzie, I'm not an idiot," he said bitterly as he looked straight ahead at the fire, not even glancing back to look at Elizabeth.
"Robert, I'm sorry," she said as she reached out to touch his shoulder. He flinched and she withdrew her hand and curled up in the chair. Robert drained the glass and turned around on the stool to face Elizabeth.
"I'm sorry," he said softly as he put the glass on the floor and tentatively reached for her hand.
"It's ok. You've had a bad day."
"Day?" he smirked.
"OK, few days....weeks....months?" said Elizabeth as she reached out to cup his cheek. He turned his head just enough to kiss her hand. The gesture caught her off guard and she suddenly felt slightly uneasy.
"Sorry," whispered Robert.
"Don't be. It's just, I don't know what I'm ready for right now. And I'm starting to feel a little confused about...things. And you're not in a good place right now..."
"Lizzie, I know that, look at me. I'm not a nice person, I have a gimpy arm and my life is going to hell in a hand basket as we speak. I'm not looking for....what I need is a friend. And you know how hard it is for me to admit that."
"Yes, I do," she replied with a slight giggle. "So we're fine? Things are fine the way they are...we can just be....us?"
"What ever the hell we are, it works for me."
Anxious to change the subject Elizabeth turned the conversation towards his arm. "So, how has your arm been feeling?" she asked as she patted his hand.
"Well, when I CAN feel something, it hurts," he admitted as he stood up and started to pace.
He looked thin, drawn and tired, more tired than he had looked in days. "Robert, when was the last time you ate? Or slept?"
"Dorothy force fed me scrambled eggs and toast when I got home."
"I like her already," teased Elizabeth, "And?"
"And I think I slept a couple of hours last night."
Elizabeth shook her head at him and stood up from the chair. "Why don't you go to bed?"
"I wouldn't sleep."
Elizabeth sighed as she started to get a little frustrated with him. She picked up the glass and set it on the bar before sitting down at the end of the couch. She watched as Robert's pacing stopped suddenly as if he'd run out of energy. Wordlessly she placed a pillow in her lap and held out her hand to him. He took her silent invitation and curled up with his head in her lap. She pressed her hand against his forehead. "I'm fine," he whispered.
"Well, you're not fine, but you're not feverish. Are you ready to talk?"
Robert nodded. "Why did Donald call you?"
"He called about something else and in passing told me that he had removed you from the surgical schedule."
"That's all he said?"
"Basically. He got off the phone quickly. I got the impression he didn't want to get into a long discussion about it."
"It started with a memo he sent. I kind of ignore it for a few days. I was in the ER this morning doing a surgical consult when he came in and basically threw me out. Told me I was only permitted to do procedures I could safely do on my own."
Elizabeth nodded. "You can't blame him for that."
"I know. So I stormed out of the trauma room, kicking something in the hall on the way to the elevator." Elizabeth laughed, despite trying not to. "It's ok. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. But it's not like it was the first time. Or the last, I'm sure."
"I spent a good part of the day thinking about things."
"Up on the roof?" Elizabeth guessed. Robert nodded and gave her a weak smile.
"I talked to Donald and asked to supervise 5th years and he turned me down. Told me my place is to teach. He won't even keep me on the rotation, "in name only". I don't know if I can do it."
"Oh Robert," she said softly as she ran her hand over his head, "I honestly don't know what to say. I can't imagine how you feel right now but I can also see Donald's side of things. It's a legal issue."
"I know. But it still sucks."
"That it does. So what are you going to do?"
"Teach I guess, for now at least. Gunn's not real hopeful that things will improve," he said as he held up his hand a little.
Elizabeth didn't know how to respond to that. Instead she gently held his hand and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I'm going to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way," she started a little while later. Robert nodded for her to continue. "I just think you need to take a step back and regroup. Maybe take some time off. You've been through so much, physically and emotionally in the last 9 months you need to gain some perspective."
"Sounds like you think I should run away."
"It's not running away. How much time did you take off after the accident, 3 months?" Robert nodded. "As a doctor you know that's not enough time. You're spreading yourself too thin, trying to work, keep up with physical therapy. You're exhausted and that's not helping anything."
"Well, I no longer have to worry about work," he said bitterly as he turned on his right side, essentially turning his back on Elizabeth. She wrapped her left arm around his chest intent on keeping him from getting up.
"You do have work. You don't have surgery but you have work to do, students to teach."
"It's not enough."
Elizabeth took a deep breath. The conversation was rapidly spiralling out of control. They were starting to go around in circles. She could blame most of it on his exhaustion and the 4 drinks he'd had but a small part of her was worried that he would never be able to accept his current situation. "It's late, you're exhausted. Why don't you go to bed. We can talk over breakfast," she said, basically boldly inviting herself to spend the night. Robert rolled over quickly to look her in the eye.
"You want to stay?" he asked with a completely goofy grin on his face.
She nodded. He got up off the couch, made sure the fire was dying out and led the way up the stairs. Elizabeth checked on Ella and then had a decision to make, the guest room or Robert's room. She was still contemplating her decision when Robert appeared in the doorway holding a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Here, I figured you needed something to wear. Unless you have your pajamas in the backpack too," he said with a laugh.
"No, I just packed Ella's things," replied Elizabeth as she stood next to the crib watching her sleeping daughter. She was trying to think of a way to phrase the question that was on the tip of her tongue. Looking at Robert she cupped his cheek and kissed him softly before pulling him into a hug. And then he beat her to the question.
"Stay with me? Please," he whispered choking back his emotions.
"Of course," she whispered as she ran her hands down his back before letting him go. He took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom.
*******************
As Robert pushed the door to the bedroom opened Gretel greeted him eagerly.
"I forgot you had a dog," said Elizabeth as she bent down to pet Gretel.
"She ran upstairs when you rang the bell. She's not wild about strangers. But I bet she'd love Ella."
"We'll have to introduce them tomorrow."
"Yeah. I'm going to let her out; I'll be back in a few minutes. There should be a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet, toothpaste is on the counter. Uh, bed's over there," he said nervously as he pointed to the king sized bed.
"I can see that," teased Elizabeth as Robert stood there turning a lovely shade of red.
"I'll be back up in a minute. You need anything?"
"No, I'm fine."
Robert left the room with Gretel following him. Elizabeth changed into the sweats, brushed her teeth and then went back into the bedroom. She wandered around nervously for a minute before just pulling back the plaid comforter and sitting down on the bed. Judging from the bottle of Advil and the stack of medical journals on the one nightstand she figured out which side of the bed Robert preferred. She thumbed through a journal while she waited for Robert.
A few minutes later Gretel pushed the door open with her nose and came in the room. She eyed Elizabeth warily before settling down on her bed in the corner of the room. "Sorry," said Robert as he came back in the room, "I tried to keep her downstairs."
"It's not a problem. Is the door to the guest room open? I want to make sure I can hear Ella."
"It's open and I'll leave this door open. She's right next door, you'll hear her," he assured her with a smile. "Relax."
"Yes, I'm really trying to," she said as she dipped her head down and nervously played with a loose string on the hem of the sweatpants.
"Elizabeth, I'm not looking for anything tonight, or any other night for that matter, if it's not what you want."
At the sound of her full name Elizabeth's head whipped up and she looked at Robert. "You never call me that," she said quietly.
"I know, I'm sorry. Lizzie, if I'm pushing or making you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish; my world is falling apart and....and...."
Elizabeth stopped him as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt him start to shake as he once again let everything go. Elizabeth was surprised at the ease with which he showed his emotions to her. That didn't come easy to him, she was sure about that. "Come on, get under the covers," she whispered as she let him go for a minute. They curled up under comforter and she took him into her arms again, settling his head on her shoulder and his left arm over her waist. Fueled by exhaustion and good scotch Robert sobbed for a good 20 minutes. "Robert, calm down, you're going to make yourself sick," said Elizabeth as she ran her hand over the short hair on the back of his head. The sobbing eventually gave way to random hiccups before stopping completely. Elizabeth wiped away his tears and kissed his cheek as he settled down on his pillow. "Sleep," she whispered as she reached over him and turned out the light on the night stand.
Robert gave into his exhaustion quickly but Elizabeth found herself still awake almost an hour later. She got up to check on Ella, who was sound asleep in the crib. Gretel followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Gretel tried to open a cabinet with her nose until her actions caught Elizabeth's attention. Finding a box of dog biscuits in the counter Elizabeth handed one to Gretel with an affectionate pat on the head. She rubbed up against Elizabeth's leg and wagged her tail before stretching out under the kitchen table.
Elizabeth opened the fridge and took a quick look around, feeling a bit voyeuristic. She poured herself a glass of juice and drank it while looking out the window at the spacious backyard. With a glance at the clock on the oven Elizabeth let out a yawn, 1 AM and she was finally starting to get tired.
With her new furry friend at her heels Elizabeth headed back upstairs. Halfway up the stairs she heard Robert's voice calling her, sounding very frightened. Taking the last ten steps two at a time she raced into the bedroom. With Gretel right beside her she went into the room and found Robert sitting up with a pillow clutched to his chest. He was shaking and sweating, obviously in the middle of a nightmare.
Propping the pillows up against the headboard Elizabeth settled herself down and pulled Robert back against her. "Shhh, it's alright, you're safe. Robert, wake up," she whispered into his ear. He muttered a few things that weren't completely coherent but Elizabeth was pretty sure the nightmare was about that horrible night on the hospital roof. Robert had his left arm cradled in his right as he struggled to wake up fully. "Robert, open your eyes, talk to me, please," she pleaded as he struggled to bring himself back to awareness.
"Lizzie," he choked out as he wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his right hand.
"It's me. Don't try to talk, just take a deep breath," she suggested as Robert clung to her for dear life. "Sit up; let me get you a cup of water." Robert nodded and let her go enough so she could slide off the bed. She came back from the bathroom a minute later with a cup of water and a cool damp washcloth. Robert took a drink, swallowed 2 Advil and collapsed back against the pillows. Elizabeth tenderly wiped his face with the cool cloth before crawling back under the comforter.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"Do they happen often?"
"Nightmares? Not too often, just when I get overtired or have a couple of drinks before bed."
"It took me a while to get you to come out of it. How do you handle that when you're alone?" she asked curiously.
"I don't know. I eventually wake myself up. But then again I really have no idea how long that takes," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Are you usually able to get back to sleep afterwards?"
"I usually end up taking something."
"Would you like to take something now?"
He shook his head, "No, I think I'm ok."
"Good. Let's try to get some sleep. Promise me you'll wake me if you need anything."
"Promise."
The rest of the night past without incident. Robert got some much needed sleep, as did Elizabeth. She woke up to the sun streaming in the window. In a rare occurrence Ella was still asleep. Curled up on his side Robert was still sound asleep. His back was to Elizabeth and she propped her head up on her hand and she leaned over to kiss the back of his head. Watching Robert sleep was quickly becoming one of her favor pastimes. She ran her hand over the back of his neck and across his shoulders. She had never really noticed how red his hair was. She wondered what he had looked like with a full head of hair.
With a sigh Robert rolled over on his back but didn't wake up. It surprised Elizabeth how peaceful he looked in his sleep. In sleep his face showed the vulnerability that he kept hidden most of the time. In the three nights they'd spent together she'd come to learn he was a creature of habit when he slept. He curled up like a little kid, blanket tucked under his chin, one foot peeking out from under the end of the covers.
Glancing at the clock Elizabeth figured she only had a little while until Robert and/or Ella woke up. She ran her hand over his stubbled cheek and softly kissed him before she climbed out of bed. She was halfway down the stairs when she heard Ella babbling in the guest room. With Gretel once again on her heels she went to grab her daughter. She put Ella down on the floor for a minute as she grabbed a diaper and the wipes out of the backpack. Two seconds later Ella was giggling and following Gretel out of the room. They wandered into Robert's room and before Elizabeth could catch up to them Ella had somehow managed to hoist herself up on the bed and snuggle up to Robert. "Come here, sweetie," said Elizabeth quietly. "Let Robert sleep."
"She's fine," he whispered as he opened his eyes. He smiled at them as Ella reached over to pat his cheek.
"She really likes you," observed Elizabeth as she sat down on the bed.
"Well, she has good taste," he smirked. "How about breakfast?"
"You know how to cook?"
Robert clutched his hand to his chest, "I'm hurt Lizzie, really hurt. Of course I can cook. You think I have that great kitchen downstairs so Dorothy can make me scrambled eggs and toast?"
"Actually I just figured the kitchen came with the house," she smirked.
Robert stuck his tongue out at her, a gesture that was repeated by Ella, much to Robert's amusement. He shoved his feet into his slippers and picked Ella up in his right arm. When they got to the kitchen he put Ella down to play with Gretel. A sippy cup was found in a cabinet and filled with juice in an instant much to Elizabeth's amazement. She made coffee while Robert took out a pan and the makings for french toast. As he got to work Elizabeth's pager went off. "You can use the phone in the library, if you want a little peace and quiet," he said over the sounds of Ella's giggling and the squeaky toy Gretel was playing with.
After calling back the hospital Elizabeth came back into the kitchen. She just shook her head at the sight in front of her. Ella was sitting in a high chair that had magically appeared in the room, eating a banana, Gretel was eating her food and Robert was in the middle of making french toast. As if the sight of Dr. Robert Romano cooking french toast wasn't enough he was also singing. Who knew he had a beautiful voice? Elizabeth stood there listening to the song. She was pretty sure it was from a Broadway musical but couldn't quite place it.
When he was done the song Elizabeth clapped softly from the doorway. Robert turned instantly red. "I didn't know you were there."
"I didn't know you could sing," she said as she took the plate of french toast from him and put it on the island. "What were you singing?"
"Something from Guys and Dolls," he said, trying to misdirect her attention as he handed her a cup of tea.
"I'm assuming it has a name," she gently prodded.
Robert took a deep breath and sighed, "I've Never Been in Love Before," he said quickly as he took a seat next to her.
"Pardon me?" she asked, her eyes widening.
"That's the name of the song," he said as he handed Ella a plate of french toast.
"Oh, I see. So is it true?" she asked, her voice conveying a teasing tone.
"Maybe," was all he said before he turned his attention towards his breakfast. "What time are you going in today?"
"I don't have to be in until 10. What about you?"
"The med students start annoying me at 9," he said as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 7:30, plenty of time to get ready.
After breakfast Elizabeth offered to clean up while Robert took Gretel for a walk. Ella played on the floor in the kitchen with some plastic cups and spoons while Elizabeth did the dishes and wiped the counters. When Robert opened the back door Gretel headed straight for Ella, much to the little girl's delight.
"I'm going to take a shower? Will you be here when I get out?"
"Sure, I have plenty of time, I'm in no rush. Maybe I'll just be nosy and look around the rest of your house," she teased.
"Go right ahead," he said with a wink.
Robert headed up the stairs while Elizabeth wandered around a little. Twenty minutes later she heard the shower turn off and the hum of an electric razor start. Elizabeth went upstairs to gather her things and straighten up the guest room. The door to Robert's room was opened and she peeked her head in a little. "Are you decent?""
"Hardly ever," he said as he poked his head out of the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of dress pants, an undershirt and an untucked, unbuttoned dark blue dress shirt. "Hand me that tie," he said as he pointed towards the tie hanging over the chair near the door. She did and he disappeared back into the bathroom. Elizabeth made the bed, packed her clothes and slipped on her sneakers. Ella wandered into the room and climbed up into the chair with the teddy bear she'd pulled out of the crib.
"Damn it," Robert swore quietly from the bathroom.
Elizabeth poked her head in the door. "Everything ok?"
Robert was standing in front of the mirror trying to do his tie. It was obvious he was having trouble with his left hand. By the look on his face she could tell he was completely frustrated. "Would you like some help?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't be offended by her offer.
"Yeah," he muttered as he took a step back. Elizabeth sat on the counter in front of him, her feet swinging freely as she undid his attempt at a knot. She deftly wound the silk into a perfect knot as Robert stood in front of her, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes looking anywhere but at her.
"There, perfect," she announced as she smoothed down the tie and wiped a smudge of toothpaste from his cheek.
"Guess, I'll have to buy clip-on ties next," he said bitterly as he went back into the bedroom to slip on his loafers and put on his belt. Elizabeth wasn't too sure what to say about that, so she decided to let it pass. She didn't have the energy to respond each time Robert made a comment like that.
A little after 8:30 they went downstairs. Robert left a note for Dorothy and grabbed his briefcase out of the library. He took Ella by the hand and walked her out to the car. While Elizabeth secured Ella into her car seat Robert tossed his bag on the passenger's seat of his car. He closed the door and sat on the hood on the car. It was clear the lighthearted portion of the morning was over. There hadn't been any singing or joking since they'd finished breakfast. It was if a dark cloud had descended upon him. Elizabeth sighed as she walked over to him. She put one hand on his knee and picked up his chin with the other. "Robert, are you going to be ok?" she asked as she caressed his cheek. His answer was the expected shrug of the shoulders. "Well, how about we have lunch later. I'll page you after I'm out of....I'll call you when I'm free," she said, stuttering slightly.
"You can say surgery, Lizzie. I won't fall apart," he said.
But Elizabeth took one look at those sad brown eyes and wasn't so sure he wouldn't fall apart. She kissed his cheek and gave him a quick hug.
"Thank you, for staying...for everything," he whispered.
He got into his car and backed out the driveway, stopping long enough to wave goodbye to Ella. Elizabeth put the car into reverse, thinking about all that had happened in the past week or so. She didn't know where things were headed and she didn't know in what direction she wanted them to head. What she did know was that Robert was in all kinds of pain and she couldn't stand to see him in that dark place. It was quickly becoming her goal to make sure he felt safe and even loved.
THE END
Here are the lyrics to I've Never Been in Love Before, if you're interested.
I've Never Been In Love Before
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.
By Ginny (vkinneman@aol.com)
***************************
Robert walked away from Donald Anspaugh without a further word. What was left to say, he thought to himself as he headed back to his office. He entered the room and flopped on the couch, not bothering to turn on the light. He had no idea how much time past as he sat and contemplated just how much his life was about to change. The one thing that gave his life meaning was about to be taken away.
The sound of the phone ringing brought him out of the fog a while later. He didn't bother to answer it; instead he let it go to voice mail. When his pager didn't go off he knew it wasn't a medical emergency. But then again, he didn't really think anyone would be calling him in the event of a medical crisis.
Something made him pick up the phone and check the message.
"Robert, it's Elizabeth. Donald Anspaugh just called me and I'm a little worried about you. Call me if you receive this. I'm going to try you at home."
Robert sat down on the corner of the desk as he ran his hand over his eyes. He picked up the phone a few moments later and dialed the number he'd long ago committed to memory.
"Hello," Elizabeth answered, a little out of breath because she was running around with Ella.
"Lizzie, it's me." he said quietly, knowing he was the only one who ever called her that.
"Robert, where are you? Are you ok?"
"I'm in my office. I'm fine."
"I can tell you are not fine. How come you didn't answer the phone a few moments ago?"
"I, uh, I was in the bathroom," he said, lying through his teeth.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.
Robert considered her offer as he heard Ella laughing in the background. "No, sounds like you and Ella are having a good time. I'm going to go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Robert, wait," she said as she heard the click as Robert hung up. She went back to playing with Ella but couldn't get the depressed sound of his voice out of her head. She packed Ella's backpack, grabbed her purse and headed out for her car. She was just out of the driveway when she burst out laughing, having no idea what she was going to say when she ended up on Robert's doorstep. It was just her luck that there was little traffic to slow down her journey and give her time to think about what she was going to do, going to say.
As Elizabeth pulled up to the large house she took a few deep breaths and opened her car door. His car was in the driveway so she knew he was already home. She'd never been in his house; she'd only picked him up for work a few times when his car was in the shop. It was large; way too large for only one man. A man that spent very little time there in the first place. She took Ella by the hand and walked up the path that cut through the well manicured lawn. After only a moment's hesitation she rang the bell with determination.
The sight of the woman who answered the door threw her for a second but she quickly realized it must be his housekeeper.
"Hello. Is Robert home?" asked Elizabeth as she felt her determination fade just a little.
"Yes, ma'am, who may I say is here?" she asked properly as she moved aside and let Elizabeth and Ella into the large, well furnished foyer.
"Dr. Corded...Elizabeth," she said as Ella tugged on her arm, "And Ella," she added as her daughter flashed the housekeeper a huge smile.
The housekeeper disappeared down the hall, leaving Elizabeth to look around. It was impeccably decorated, manly yet not too dark.
Dorothy, Robert's housekeeper knocked once on the door of the library. "Dr. Romano, Dr. Corday and Ellen are at the door."
"Ella," he corrected her quickly as he put down his drink and stood up.
"Do you need anything sir?" Dorothy asked as she moved to let him pass by.
"Not right now, thanks," he said as he headed for the front door. If it were anyone else he would have tried to at least pull himself together a little, maybe tuck his dress shirt back in, but it was Lizzie and he didn't feel the need to try and hide anything. He was a wreck and tucking in a shirt wasn't going to fool her.
As he hit the foyer Ella let go of Elizabeth's arm and launched herself towards Robert. He turned quickly enough so his left arm didn't take the brunt of the collision. He knelt down and gave her a quick hug, looking towards Elizabeth with a look of gratitude. Elizabeth couldn't believe how quickly Ella had taken to Robert. They had seen each other a few times at the hospital since the night that Robert had stayed over. He had won her over easily with his willingness to read and play with her. Last time Ella was in his office Elizabeth was surprised to see that Robert had picked up some little toys and a few videos.
"Ella, be careful," said Elizabeth as she took Ella by the hand so Robert could stand up.
"She's fine Lizzie," he said as he motioned for them to follow him into the kitchen.
Dorothy had put out some cookies and put on the tea kettle. She put the basket of tea bags on out on the island and turned her attention towards Ella. "Would you like to watch TV?"
Ella nodded her head and looked to Elizabeth for permission. "Sure sweetheart, go ahead."
They headed down the hall to the family room.
Robert sat down on one of the stools at the island and sighed wearily. "So, you came over to check up on me? he asked.
"Yes," Elizabeth said simply.
"Thank you."
"So, what happened today?"
"Donald took away my livelihood and my life sucks."
"Well, I guess you've had a bit of a day then," commented Elizabeth as she moved to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back a little so he rested against her chest, his head tucked under her chin.
"That's an understatement," he commented wryly.
Elizabeth knew he needed to talk about it but as usual he seemed reluctant. She also knew that pushing him was the quickest way to get him to shut down. As they waited for the water to boil she just held him quietly. When the kettle whistled she planted on soft kiss on the top of his head and went to make the tea. Robert smiled as Elizabeth quickly made herself at home in his kitchen. He took out a tea bag for himself and pushed the basket across the island so she could pick one.
"I have a fire going in the library, you want to sit in there?" asked Robert as put a spoonful of sugar in his tea.
"Library sounds lovely," she replied with a smile as she picked up her mug and the plate of cookies.
She followed Robert down the hall to the library. It was definitely the kind of room she would expect to find in his house, dark paneling, floor to ceiling bookcases, stone fireplace and leather furniture. Robert motioned for her to have a seat on the couch. Sinking down into the soft leather Elizabeth sighed, a little louder than she had intended.
"Comfortable Lizzie?" he smirked.
"Very."
Elizabeth watched as Robert fidgeted with his tea, with the hem of his untucked dress shirt, with the spoon. She let him be for a few minutes as she looked around the room. The fireplace was indeed lovely, giving light to the dark but comfortable room. The coffee table held a wide variety of magazines, some of which seemed to fit Robert's personality and profession, The New England Journal of Medicine, Men's Health and Sports Illustrated, while others were slightly surprising, a gardening magazine, GQ and a Yankee Candle catalog.
Just as it looked like Robert was about to talk they heard two sets of footsteps making their way down the hall. Dorothy knocked once and poked her head in, "Dr. Romano, I need to get going and I think Ella's getting tired," she said as Ella came into the room and plopped herself on the couch and snuggled up next to Robert. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
"That's fine, Dorothy. Thank you."
"Yes, thank you Dorothy. It was very nice to meet you."
"You too ma'am, Ella. Goodnight Dr. Romano. I will see you in the morning."
Dorothy closed the door behind her as she left the room. "She didn't nap well this afternoon," explained Elizabeth, "Do you have somewhere I can put her down?
"There's a crib upstairs in the guest room," he said as he put down his mug and stood up.
"Robert, why in the world do you have a crib?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"Dorothy has a grandson who is about Ella's age. She brings him over once in a while. I also have some toys and probably a sippy cup or two," he said with a broad grin.
Elizabeth just looked at him with amazement. Robert took Ella by the hand and led her up the stairs to the guest room while Elizabeth went to the kitchen to grab her backpack.
By the time Elizabeth had found them Robert had taken off Ella's shoes and was trying to undo the straps on her denim overalls. It was clear he was struggling. Ella's squirming, coupled with his uncooperative hand had frustrated him quickly. Elizabeth stepped in to help just as Ella was inching her way towards a tantrum. She undid the straps and stripped off the overalls and turtleneck in no time. Robert took the toys out of the crib, something he could do one-handed.
"I'm going to go back downstairs while you get her to sleep," he said as he tossed a soft green blanket on the bed. He waved to Ella who held her arms out to him. With a sweet smile on his face he leaned over and kissed the top of her blond head. "Good night sweetie," he said softly before turning and heading out of the room.
****************************
While Elizabeth rocked Ella and read her a story Robert changed into a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants before going back downstairs. After putting the tea cups in the dishwasher he went back to the library and poured himself drink from the bar in the corner. He downed a glass of Scotch quickly and then poured himself a second. He was chilly so he grabbed the afghan from the chair and threw it over his shoulders. With a heavy sigh he lowered himself down on the tufted leather footstool in front of the fireplace. The scotch worked quickly to warm him from the inside and the fire warmed him from the outside.
With Ella sleeping peacefully, her arms wrapped around a stuffed bear that was in the crib Elizabeth found a bathroom before heading back down to the library. Robert was sitting motionless in front of the fire when she entered the room. He didn't hear her hanging in the doorway and it gave her a chance to get a good look at him. Shoulders slumped and head hanging he was the picture of despair. Tears welled up in Elizabeth's eyes, much to her surprise. As she wiped them away Robert stood up and went to make himself another drink. "She sleeping?" he asked as he crossed the room.
"Yes, out like a light." said Elizabeth as she sat down in the leather wing chair by the foot stool that Robert had just vacated.
"You want something to drink?" asked Robert as he motioned vaguely towards the bar.
"No, I'm fine," she said quickly as she bit back the urge to ask him how many he'd had already.
"I think this is number 4," he snorted as he sat back down on the foot stool.
"I didn't ask," Elizabeth pointed out.
"But you were thinking it," he said as he took a large gulp.
"Well, as long as I was thinking it, I'll ask my next question; you didn't take anything for pain did you?" she asked, instantly regretting it.
"For God's sake Lizzie, I'm not an idiot," he said bitterly as he looked straight ahead at the fire, not even glancing back to look at Elizabeth.
"Robert, I'm sorry," she said as she reached out to touch his shoulder. He flinched and she withdrew her hand and curled up in the chair. Robert drained the glass and turned around on the stool to face Elizabeth.
"I'm sorry," he said softly as he put the glass on the floor and tentatively reached for her hand.
"It's ok. You've had a bad day."
"Day?" he smirked.
"OK, few days....weeks....months?" said Elizabeth as she reached out to cup his cheek. He turned his head just enough to kiss her hand. The gesture caught her off guard and she suddenly felt slightly uneasy.
"Sorry," whispered Robert.
"Don't be. It's just, I don't know what I'm ready for right now. And I'm starting to feel a little confused about...things. And you're not in a good place right now..."
"Lizzie, I know that, look at me. I'm not a nice person, I have a gimpy arm and my life is going to hell in a hand basket as we speak. I'm not looking for....what I need is a friend. And you know how hard it is for me to admit that."
"Yes, I do," she replied with a slight giggle. "So we're fine? Things are fine the way they are...we can just be....us?"
"What ever the hell we are, it works for me."
Anxious to change the subject Elizabeth turned the conversation towards his arm. "So, how has your arm been feeling?" she asked as she patted his hand.
"Well, when I CAN feel something, it hurts," he admitted as he stood up and started to pace.
He looked thin, drawn and tired, more tired than he had looked in days. "Robert, when was the last time you ate? Or slept?"
"Dorothy force fed me scrambled eggs and toast when I got home."
"I like her already," teased Elizabeth, "And?"
"And I think I slept a couple of hours last night."
Elizabeth shook her head at him and stood up from the chair. "Why don't you go to bed?"
"I wouldn't sleep."
Elizabeth sighed as she started to get a little frustrated with him. She picked up the glass and set it on the bar before sitting down at the end of the couch. She watched as Robert's pacing stopped suddenly as if he'd run out of energy. Wordlessly she placed a pillow in her lap and held out her hand to him. He took her silent invitation and curled up with his head in her lap. She pressed her hand against his forehead. "I'm fine," he whispered.
"Well, you're not fine, but you're not feverish. Are you ready to talk?"
Robert nodded. "Why did Donald call you?"
"He called about something else and in passing told me that he had removed you from the surgical schedule."
"That's all he said?"
"Basically. He got off the phone quickly. I got the impression he didn't want to get into a long discussion about it."
"It started with a memo he sent. I kind of ignore it for a few days. I was in the ER this morning doing a surgical consult when he came in and basically threw me out. Told me I was only permitted to do procedures I could safely do on my own."
Elizabeth nodded. "You can't blame him for that."
"I know. So I stormed out of the trauma room, kicking something in the hall on the way to the elevator." Elizabeth laughed, despite trying not to. "It's ok. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. But it's not like it was the first time. Or the last, I'm sure."
"I spent a good part of the day thinking about things."
"Up on the roof?" Elizabeth guessed. Robert nodded and gave her a weak smile.
"I talked to Donald and asked to supervise 5th years and he turned me down. Told me my place is to teach. He won't even keep me on the rotation, "in name only". I don't know if I can do it."
"Oh Robert," she said softly as she ran her hand over his head, "I honestly don't know what to say. I can't imagine how you feel right now but I can also see Donald's side of things. It's a legal issue."
"I know. But it still sucks."
"That it does. So what are you going to do?"
"Teach I guess, for now at least. Gunn's not real hopeful that things will improve," he said as he held up his hand a little.
Elizabeth didn't know how to respond to that. Instead she gently held his hand and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I'm going to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way," she started a little while later. Robert nodded for her to continue. "I just think you need to take a step back and regroup. Maybe take some time off. You've been through so much, physically and emotionally in the last 9 months you need to gain some perspective."
"Sounds like you think I should run away."
"It's not running away. How much time did you take off after the accident, 3 months?" Robert nodded. "As a doctor you know that's not enough time. You're spreading yourself too thin, trying to work, keep up with physical therapy. You're exhausted and that's not helping anything."
"Well, I no longer have to worry about work," he said bitterly as he turned on his right side, essentially turning his back on Elizabeth. She wrapped her left arm around his chest intent on keeping him from getting up.
"You do have work. You don't have surgery but you have work to do, students to teach."
"It's not enough."
Elizabeth took a deep breath. The conversation was rapidly spiralling out of control. They were starting to go around in circles. She could blame most of it on his exhaustion and the 4 drinks he'd had but a small part of her was worried that he would never be able to accept his current situation. "It's late, you're exhausted. Why don't you go to bed. We can talk over breakfast," she said, basically boldly inviting herself to spend the night. Robert rolled over quickly to look her in the eye.
"You want to stay?" he asked with a completely goofy grin on his face.
She nodded. He got up off the couch, made sure the fire was dying out and led the way up the stairs. Elizabeth checked on Ella and then had a decision to make, the guest room or Robert's room. She was still contemplating her decision when Robert appeared in the doorway holding a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Here, I figured you needed something to wear. Unless you have your pajamas in the backpack too," he said with a laugh.
"No, I just packed Ella's things," replied Elizabeth as she stood next to the crib watching her sleeping daughter. She was trying to think of a way to phrase the question that was on the tip of her tongue. Looking at Robert she cupped his cheek and kissed him softly before pulling him into a hug. And then he beat her to the question.
"Stay with me? Please," he whispered choking back his emotions.
"Of course," she whispered as she ran her hands down his back before letting him go. He took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom.
*******************
As Robert pushed the door to the bedroom opened Gretel greeted him eagerly.
"I forgot you had a dog," said Elizabeth as she bent down to pet Gretel.
"She ran upstairs when you rang the bell. She's not wild about strangers. But I bet she'd love Ella."
"We'll have to introduce them tomorrow."
"Yeah. I'm going to let her out; I'll be back in a few minutes. There should be a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet, toothpaste is on the counter. Uh, bed's over there," he said nervously as he pointed to the king sized bed.
"I can see that," teased Elizabeth as Robert stood there turning a lovely shade of red.
"I'll be back up in a minute. You need anything?"
"No, I'm fine."
Robert left the room with Gretel following him. Elizabeth changed into the sweats, brushed her teeth and then went back into the bedroom. She wandered around nervously for a minute before just pulling back the plaid comforter and sitting down on the bed. Judging from the bottle of Advil and the stack of medical journals on the one nightstand she figured out which side of the bed Robert preferred. She thumbed through a journal while she waited for Robert.
A few minutes later Gretel pushed the door open with her nose and came in the room. She eyed Elizabeth warily before settling down on her bed in the corner of the room. "Sorry," said Robert as he came back in the room, "I tried to keep her downstairs."
"It's not a problem. Is the door to the guest room open? I want to make sure I can hear Ella."
"It's open and I'll leave this door open. She's right next door, you'll hear her," he assured her with a smile. "Relax."
"Yes, I'm really trying to," she said as she dipped her head down and nervously played with a loose string on the hem of the sweatpants.
"Elizabeth, I'm not looking for anything tonight, or any other night for that matter, if it's not what you want."
At the sound of her full name Elizabeth's head whipped up and she looked at Robert. "You never call me that," she said quietly.
"I know, I'm sorry. Lizzie, if I'm pushing or making you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish; my world is falling apart and....and...."
Elizabeth stopped him as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt him start to shake as he once again let everything go. Elizabeth was surprised at the ease with which he showed his emotions to her. That didn't come easy to him, she was sure about that. "Come on, get under the covers," she whispered as she let him go for a minute. They curled up under comforter and she took him into her arms again, settling his head on her shoulder and his left arm over her waist. Fueled by exhaustion and good scotch Robert sobbed for a good 20 minutes. "Robert, calm down, you're going to make yourself sick," said Elizabeth as she ran her hand over the short hair on the back of his head. The sobbing eventually gave way to random hiccups before stopping completely. Elizabeth wiped away his tears and kissed his cheek as he settled down on his pillow. "Sleep," she whispered as she reached over him and turned out the light on the night stand.
Robert gave into his exhaustion quickly but Elizabeth found herself still awake almost an hour later. She got up to check on Ella, who was sound asleep in the crib. Gretel followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Gretel tried to open a cabinet with her nose until her actions caught Elizabeth's attention. Finding a box of dog biscuits in the counter Elizabeth handed one to Gretel with an affectionate pat on the head. She rubbed up against Elizabeth's leg and wagged her tail before stretching out under the kitchen table.
Elizabeth opened the fridge and took a quick look around, feeling a bit voyeuristic. She poured herself a glass of juice and drank it while looking out the window at the spacious backyard. With a glance at the clock on the oven Elizabeth let out a yawn, 1 AM and she was finally starting to get tired.
With her new furry friend at her heels Elizabeth headed back upstairs. Halfway up the stairs she heard Robert's voice calling her, sounding very frightened. Taking the last ten steps two at a time she raced into the bedroom. With Gretel right beside her she went into the room and found Robert sitting up with a pillow clutched to his chest. He was shaking and sweating, obviously in the middle of a nightmare.
Propping the pillows up against the headboard Elizabeth settled herself down and pulled Robert back against her. "Shhh, it's alright, you're safe. Robert, wake up," she whispered into his ear. He muttered a few things that weren't completely coherent but Elizabeth was pretty sure the nightmare was about that horrible night on the hospital roof. Robert had his left arm cradled in his right as he struggled to wake up fully. "Robert, open your eyes, talk to me, please," she pleaded as he struggled to bring himself back to awareness.
"Lizzie," he choked out as he wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his right hand.
"It's me. Don't try to talk, just take a deep breath," she suggested as Robert clung to her for dear life. "Sit up; let me get you a cup of water." Robert nodded and let her go enough so she could slide off the bed. She came back from the bathroom a minute later with a cup of water and a cool damp washcloth. Robert took a drink, swallowed 2 Advil and collapsed back against the pillows. Elizabeth tenderly wiped his face with the cool cloth before crawling back under the comforter.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"Do they happen often?"
"Nightmares? Not too often, just when I get overtired or have a couple of drinks before bed."
"It took me a while to get you to come out of it. How do you handle that when you're alone?" she asked curiously.
"I don't know. I eventually wake myself up. But then again I really have no idea how long that takes," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Are you usually able to get back to sleep afterwards?"
"I usually end up taking something."
"Would you like to take something now?"
He shook his head, "No, I think I'm ok."
"Good. Let's try to get some sleep. Promise me you'll wake me if you need anything."
"Promise."
The rest of the night past without incident. Robert got some much needed sleep, as did Elizabeth. She woke up to the sun streaming in the window. In a rare occurrence Ella was still asleep. Curled up on his side Robert was still sound asleep. His back was to Elizabeth and she propped her head up on her hand and she leaned over to kiss the back of his head. Watching Robert sleep was quickly becoming one of her favor pastimes. She ran her hand over the back of his neck and across his shoulders. She had never really noticed how red his hair was. She wondered what he had looked like with a full head of hair.
With a sigh Robert rolled over on his back but didn't wake up. It surprised Elizabeth how peaceful he looked in his sleep. In sleep his face showed the vulnerability that he kept hidden most of the time. In the three nights they'd spent together she'd come to learn he was a creature of habit when he slept. He curled up like a little kid, blanket tucked under his chin, one foot peeking out from under the end of the covers.
Glancing at the clock Elizabeth figured she only had a little while until Robert and/or Ella woke up. She ran her hand over his stubbled cheek and softly kissed him before she climbed out of bed. She was halfway down the stairs when she heard Ella babbling in the guest room. With Gretel once again on her heels she went to grab her daughter. She put Ella down on the floor for a minute as she grabbed a diaper and the wipes out of the backpack. Two seconds later Ella was giggling and following Gretel out of the room. They wandered into Robert's room and before Elizabeth could catch up to them Ella had somehow managed to hoist herself up on the bed and snuggle up to Robert. "Come here, sweetie," said Elizabeth quietly. "Let Robert sleep."
"She's fine," he whispered as he opened his eyes. He smiled at them as Ella reached over to pat his cheek.
"She really likes you," observed Elizabeth as she sat down on the bed.
"Well, she has good taste," he smirked. "How about breakfast?"
"You know how to cook?"
Robert clutched his hand to his chest, "I'm hurt Lizzie, really hurt. Of course I can cook. You think I have that great kitchen downstairs so Dorothy can make me scrambled eggs and toast?"
"Actually I just figured the kitchen came with the house," she smirked.
Robert stuck his tongue out at her, a gesture that was repeated by Ella, much to Robert's amusement. He shoved his feet into his slippers and picked Ella up in his right arm. When they got to the kitchen he put Ella down to play with Gretel. A sippy cup was found in a cabinet and filled with juice in an instant much to Elizabeth's amazement. She made coffee while Robert took out a pan and the makings for french toast. As he got to work Elizabeth's pager went off. "You can use the phone in the library, if you want a little peace and quiet," he said over the sounds of Ella's giggling and the squeaky toy Gretel was playing with.
After calling back the hospital Elizabeth came back into the kitchen. She just shook her head at the sight in front of her. Ella was sitting in a high chair that had magically appeared in the room, eating a banana, Gretel was eating her food and Robert was in the middle of making french toast. As if the sight of Dr. Robert Romano cooking french toast wasn't enough he was also singing. Who knew he had a beautiful voice? Elizabeth stood there listening to the song. She was pretty sure it was from a Broadway musical but couldn't quite place it.
When he was done the song Elizabeth clapped softly from the doorway. Robert turned instantly red. "I didn't know you were there."
"I didn't know you could sing," she said as she took the plate of french toast from him and put it on the island. "What were you singing?"
"Something from Guys and Dolls," he said, trying to misdirect her attention as he handed her a cup of tea.
"I'm assuming it has a name," she gently prodded.
Robert took a deep breath and sighed, "I've Never Been in Love Before," he said quickly as he took a seat next to her.
"Pardon me?" she asked, her eyes widening.
"That's the name of the song," he said as he handed Ella a plate of french toast.
"Oh, I see. So is it true?" she asked, her voice conveying a teasing tone.
"Maybe," was all he said before he turned his attention towards his breakfast. "What time are you going in today?"
"I don't have to be in until 10. What about you?"
"The med students start annoying me at 9," he said as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 7:30, plenty of time to get ready.
After breakfast Elizabeth offered to clean up while Robert took Gretel for a walk. Ella played on the floor in the kitchen with some plastic cups and spoons while Elizabeth did the dishes and wiped the counters. When Robert opened the back door Gretel headed straight for Ella, much to the little girl's delight.
"I'm going to take a shower? Will you be here when I get out?"
"Sure, I have plenty of time, I'm in no rush. Maybe I'll just be nosy and look around the rest of your house," she teased.
"Go right ahead," he said with a wink.
Robert headed up the stairs while Elizabeth wandered around a little. Twenty minutes later she heard the shower turn off and the hum of an electric razor start. Elizabeth went upstairs to gather her things and straighten up the guest room. The door to Robert's room was opened and she peeked her head in a little. "Are you decent?""
"Hardly ever," he said as he poked his head out of the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of dress pants, an undershirt and an untucked, unbuttoned dark blue dress shirt. "Hand me that tie," he said as he pointed towards the tie hanging over the chair near the door. She did and he disappeared back into the bathroom. Elizabeth made the bed, packed her clothes and slipped on her sneakers. Ella wandered into the room and climbed up into the chair with the teddy bear she'd pulled out of the crib.
"Damn it," Robert swore quietly from the bathroom.
Elizabeth poked her head in the door. "Everything ok?"
Robert was standing in front of the mirror trying to do his tie. It was obvious he was having trouble with his left hand. By the look on his face she could tell he was completely frustrated. "Would you like some help?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't be offended by her offer.
"Yeah," he muttered as he took a step back. Elizabeth sat on the counter in front of him, her feet swinging freely as she undid his attempt at a knot. She deftly wound the silk into a perfect knot as Robert stood in front of her, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes looking anywhere but at her.
"There, perfect," she announced as she smoothed down the tie and wiped a smudge of toothpaste from his cheek.
"Guess, I'll have to buy clip-on ties next," he said bitterly as he went back into the bedroom to slip on his loafers and put on his belt. Elizabeth wasn't too sure what to say about that, so she decided to let it pass. She didn't have the energy to respond each time Robert made a comment like that.
A little after 8:30 they went downstairs. Robert left a note for Dorothy and grabbed his briefcase out of the library. He took Ella by the hand and walked her out to the car. While Elizabeth secured Ella into her car seat Robert tossed his bag on the passenger's seat of his car. He closed the door and sat on the hood on the car. It was clear the lighthearted portion of the morning was over. There hadn't been any singing or joking since they'd finished breakfast. It was if a dark cloud had descended upon him. Elizabeth sighed as she walked over to him. She put one hand on his knee and picked up his chin with the other. "Robert, are you going to be ok?" she asked as she caressed his cheek. His answer was the expected shrug of the shoulders. "Well, how about we have lunch later. I'll page you after I'm out of....I'll call you when I'm free," she said, stuttering slightly.
"You can say surgery, Lizzie. I won't fall apart," he said.
But Elizabeth took one look at those sad brown eyes and wasn't so sure he wouldn't fall apart. She kissed his cheek and gave him a quick hug.
"Thank you, for staying...for everything," he whispered.
He got into his car and backed out the driveway, stopping long enough to wave goodbye to Ella. Elizabeth put the car into reverse, thinking about all that had happened in the past week or so. She didn't know where things were headed and she didn't know in what direction she wanted them to head. What she did know was that Robert was in all kinds of pain and she couldn't stand to see him in that dark place. It was quickly becoming her goal to make sure he felt safe and even loved.
THE END
Here are the lyrics to I've Never Been in Love Before, if you're interested.
I've Never Been In Love Before
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more.
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before.