Kankri Vantas did not have sexual needs.
Well, he liked to think that he didn't. He most definitely did have sexual needs, like many other people his age, but he simply didn't want them. Sex was something that would and/or could get in the way of his studies, and why get fucked over a table when you could do some research on social justice on it instead?
Sure, he'd sucked a few guys off, and might have helped a girl out or two, but he didn't need any returned favours, or so he liked to think.
And It wasn't as if Kankri was Asexual. He didn't pretend to be, either, as that could potentially offend any actual Asexual people. He just put sex to the side. Who really needed it, anyway? A man could get by without ever doing the do, right?
Not really.
Kankri found himself dwelling more upon the idea of having sexual relationships than social justice lately. He hated it. He didn't want to have sexual needs like everyone else. Kankri didn't want to admit it, but he definitely put himself on a pedestal about everyone else, and having sexual needs was something so mundane, so ordinary, that Kankri didn't want it. If he had to abstain to be better than everyone else, then so be it.
Of course, he never actually said that he was better. That could hurt people's feelings. As if he really cared, though.
However, it was one of those days where he couldn't focus on social justice that Kankri realised that he was so utterly human that it was almost disgusting. How human of him to desire to be above everyone else. How human of him to have sexual needs. How. Fucking. Human.
He almost had a mental breakdown in the library when he stumbled across this conclusion.
Kankri Vantas no longer belonged on a pedestal. He was cast into the crowd of normal, ordinary, mundane humans. Kankri was just like everyone else.
It was that night that Kankri decided to just take it all the way and be as human as it got, to give in to his primal desires that he had pushed aside for so long.
He was going to get laid.
There was one problem, though. Kankri didn't want to have sex with just anyone. No, he wanted to know them first, which was certainly a very BIG problem, because the few people he could think of that would actually be willing to have sex with him weren't exactly appealing to him. They were aesthetically pleasing, yes, but either they were his friends or someone he didn't really like as a person.
After some mental debating, Kankri decided that he wasn't going to ruin one of the few friendships he had and ask someone he didn't exactly like, but found quite physically appealing.
A few minutes later, he had the young man's number from Porrim and was dialing.
"Yello?"
"Hello, yes, Cronus?"
"Woah, hey. Wow. Kankri? I never thought I'd get a phone call from you, I mean, with you being all-"
"Look, Cronus, are you busy tonight?"
He could almost hear Cronus' surprised expression.
"Uh, no, actually, I'm not. Why?"
"Would you like to go out and do something with me? Dinner, maybe? Catch up a little?" Wow, this was going a lot smoother than Kankri had expected, considering that he hadn't asked anyone out since Sophomore year in highschool and had been rudely rejected.
"Oh, shit, sure, I'd love to!"
"Great. Would you mind picking me up?" After a few more minutes of discussion, Cronus was going to pick Kankri up in a few hours. They would go and have a quick dinner at this burger place Cronus had recommended, and then go back to Kankri's to talk and catch up or something.
After plenty of discarded outfit ideas, Kankri had settled on some slightly tighter than he would have preferred jeans and a simple red sweater. Not much, but he didn't exactly want to throw himself at Cronus.
"Hmm. At least these pants make my butt look good," he mumbled as he pulled his shoes on. Kankri opted for contact lenses instead of his glasses and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Then the doorbell rang, and Kankri left his house on his spur of the moment date with someone who didn't seem half as bad as Kankri thought he was when he had called him.
The date went a little bit better than Kankri had expected.
He had dropped a few hints and batted his eyelashes some throughout the evening, and now here they were, having sloppy make-outs on the couch. Cronus didn't seem to mind how inexperienced Kankri was with kissing, and wow, when he pressed his knee between Kankri's thighs that felt great.
Off came his sweater and Cronus' jacket, and soon their shirts followed. Kankri was starting to have some doubts about this by now. What if he thinks I'm too easy? he thought as Cronus pressed soft kisses to his neck. That didn't seem to matter, though, because soon enough Kankri was grasping at the couch and moaning with his dick in Cronus' mouth. How much practice did Cronus even have? Because it felt like a whole lot.
After a bit of that, Cronus pulled away with a soft pop.
"Hey, chief, you got a condom?" Kankri, in fact, did not. But it turned out that Cronus didn't even have to ask, because he'd put one in his jacket pocket in the hopes that something like this had happened.
"Now, you sure you wanna do this? It might hurt a little." Kankri had informed him earlier that he was a virgin, and it seemed that Cronus was being much more considerate than he would've thought.
"Yes, I'm sure," Kankri answered thickly, his voice sounding a little strained. If he didn't get off soon, he would be quite disappointed.
"Okay, then hold on." It was obvious that neither of them had lubricant, so they had to settle for spit, which kind of grossed the two of them out.
"O-Oh, hello," Kankri said when he felt the first finger go in and he gritted his teeth a little, but after he was used to it and two other fingers joined it, he was moaning and gasping just like normal.
He whined a little when the fingers were suddenly gone, but when Cronus put Kankri's knees up by his chest and asked if he was ready and Kankri gave him the go ahead, hooo man, that was better than a few fingers, and he let Cronus know that with a loud moan.
Kankri obviously came first. Cronus came soon after, and after they had used the tissues in the box on the coffee table to clean up and Cronus pulled out, they both looked at each other and smiled.
Cronus had, in fact, been very gentle with Kankri, and he thanked him very much for it. Cronus had simply nodded and told him that he sounded really hot when he was getting fu- Kankri stopped him right there.
They laughed and took turns in the shower. Cronus convinced Kankri to let him stay the night, and the two of them ended up asleep on the couch together after watching some dumb romance comedy movie.
So maybe Kankri was more human than he had pretended to be. But if it ended up with him catching a guy like Cronus and having more nights like this one, then maybe having needs wasn't too bad.