A little idea I had while watching Shimoneta.
For those of you who don't know what Shimoneta is, it's an incredible anime about a Japanese society that has outlawed any and all forms of lewdness—this includes crude language, images, and acts. Basically, no swearing, porn, or sex stuff. The students in the anime have no idea what sex even is because they don't have sex ed.
This got me thinking—what if Park County had similar laws put in place?
The obvious person to be the front-runner for this law is Sheila Broflovski based on what happened in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. How she would get this law passed, I have no idea. However, I will say that this story is largely focused on the resistance movement, much like the source material. I have no name for said resistance movement; however, it has to be said that the leader is going to be—perhaps unshockingly—Kenny McCormick as Mysterion. It also has my OC, Kate Cartman, as his second-in-command—Melodyshock—fighting for free speech. Kate has been living in South Park much longer in this story—over ten years. She's fifteen, so do the math.
It's stupid, but I thought it was a pretty good concept to work with, especially since this is a South Park fanfic.
OWTF!
Welcome to Park County, the most morally-sound place in America. For several decades, laws have been put into place to eradicate lewd content and behaviors. Words are monitored by special collars and hand movements are tracked with PeaceMakers—wristbands that also act as phones. As a result of these efforts, Park County has transformed from a town of anything-goes sexual deviancy into a shining example of humanity. However, as with any society, there are miscreants who wish to overthrow this beautiful balance. This is the story of some of those people and their fight to bring back lewdness, of their fight to end the censorship.
Stan let out a sigh as the bell rang.
Another day, another stretch of time without Dad.
Randy Marsh, Stan's father, had been arrested and imprisoned for being an 'ero-terrorist', one of many groups of people who were fighting to bring sexuality to the people. Stan was determined to be nothing like his father, and more like the more upstanding members of the community, like Wendy Testaburger and Kyle Broflovski, two children of prominent members of the government in charge who happened to attend his school. Wendy was the student council president, while Kyle was the vice-president.
Stan hadn't been attending Park Academy for very long. He'd only gotten in by the skin of his teeth, but he knew that one wrong move would send him out of the school before he could protest.
"Hey, Stan!" a voice greeted him as he left the classroom. He looked up to see a girl with dark brown hair from one of his classes.
"Oh, uh, hey…" he replied, his voice trailing off as he tried to place her name.
"It's Kate. I just wanted to welcome you to Park Academy!" She had a bright smile and even brighter eyes. He could see a guy with blonde hair standing nearby. The guy was pretty good-looking, but he had the air of a troublemaker as he walked up to Kate.
"Who's he?" Stan asked.
"This is Kenny," Kate replied. "He and I are members of the student council, and Wendy sent us to get you. I forgot about today's meeting!"
"Wait, you guys are members of the student council?"
"Yeah! I'm the secretary, and Kenny here is in charge of confiscating lewd materials he finds!"
"Okay, so why do you need me?"
"Come on!"
Kate headed down the hall.
Park Academy was a uniform school, meaning every student was required to wear a uniform. For guys, it was a white dress shirt and red necktie under a gray blazer with dark blue pants and black dress shoes. Girls wore almost the exact same thing, except they wore a long, dark blue skirt and black Mary Janes with knee-high stockings. Stan knew that the uniforms were meant to cover as much as possible, but it still shocked him the first time he saw them.
"Here we are!" Kate announced. Stan followed them inside to see Wendy Testaburger and Kyle Broflovski sitting at a table with a blonde girl he didn't recognize.
"You found him?" Wendy asked.
"Yep!" Kate sat at the table and Kenny took the seat next to her. Kyle shot Kate a hopeful look before looking at Stan.
"So, you're the son of Randy Marsh?" he asked. Kate and Kenny glanced at each other.
"Yeah, I am."
"So you're an ero-terrorist, too?" the blonde asked.
"No!" Stan insisted. "I'm not an ero-terrorist! I'm trying to be better than my dad by being an upstanding citizen, like Wendy and Kyle."
"That makes sense," Kyle said. "Bebe, let a person speak before you jump them for being an ero-terrorist."
There was a swift thud as Kenny yelped.
"What was that?" Wendy asked.
"Oh, Kenny just accidentally kicked the center of the table," Kate replied sweetly, smiling. She had a pair of purple glasses on, which added to her smart appearance.
"Y-yeah," Kenny replied.
"Okay, then," Bebe sighed.
"Anyway, we wanted you here for a reason," Wendy told Stan. "Since you came from outside our district, you have a knowledge of lewd subjects, right?"
"U-uh, yeah…?"
"Good! Then you're our expert!"
"WHAT?!"
"We need somebody on the council who's able to identify lewd materials for removal. Kate came from outside the district, too, but she was only five when she moved here."
"Uh-huh!" Kate affirmed.
"Okay." Stan nodded his agreement to the arrangement.
"Okay!" Wendy cleared her throat. "Well, you already know most of us, so there's no need for an intro—"
"AHEM!" Bebe coughed.
"Oh, right!"
"I'm Bebe Stevens, student council treasurer," Bebe announced. "It's nice to meet you, Stan."
After the meeting was over, Stan started heading home on the subway. Park County was fairly large—in fact, it had once been called Colorado, back before the laws banning lewd material were put in place. He got out of the subway after hearing a woman scream about a student from his school—a heavyset boy with light brown hair—touching her in her bum-bum area. Stan was quick to pull her off with him, and she screamed for the authorities to arrest him instead. The black-haired boy was quick to run before a laugh rang out in the crowded station. He looked up to see a girl with dark brown hair wearing nothing but an artfully-tied white-and-lavender striped bedsheet and a pair of white-and-purple striped panties on her face.
"IT'S MELODYSHOCK!" a woman gasped.
Suddenly, a black-clad blur ran by Stan, papers flying all over the place. One landed in Stan's hand and the boy flipped it over to get a good look at the image. He felt a little disgusted once he got that good look.
It was a picture of a scantily-clad woman holding her breasts.
"CAREFUL, BOYS!" Melodyshock sang out from above, dodging the authorities with ease. "I'M NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER THIS, SO IF YOU GRAB ME, YOU'LL HAVE TO ARREST YOURSELVES!"
A hand grabbed Stan's arm and led him through the crowded station. It was a boy with blonde hair wearing a pair of black panties and a black cape with a set of white briefs.
"Stay with us," the boy said in a deep voice. "We've got you covered. Melodyshock is our distraction."
"Uh, who are—"
The boy led Stan to a rope that led down. Stan was thankful for the easy escape route and took it.
The whole ordeal was very surreal.
"Darn Melodyshock and Mysterion!" muttered Wendy the following day.
"Who are Melodyshock and Mysterion?" Stan asked.
"They're ero-terrorists," Kate replied. "Partners, we think. We can't figure out anything about them, except that they most likely go here."
"I saw them yesterday at the station," Stan replied. "It was right after a woman tried to frame me for touching her after I stopped her from framing a kid from this school."
"So, yesterday they distributed lewd pictures," Bebe began. "Well, Mysterion did. Melodyshock shouted lewd words and made rude gestures while she was fighting off the authorities."
"They're a solid team," Kyle grumbled. "Mysterion takes the sneaky position while Melodyshock makes a distraction."
"They're smart," Kenny interjected. "They know how not to get caught, and they cover their faces so they aren't recognizable."
"We're going to take them down!" Wendy declared, slamming a fist on the table.
"YEAH!" the rest of the council cheered in agreement. The rest of the meeting went on as usual until Kate and Kenny approached Stan after it was over.
"Hey, Stan?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, Kate?"
"We were wondering if you wanted to come with us to grab some coffee!"
"Uh… sure! Where'd you have in mind?"
"A little place called Café Au Lait."
Stan went with the two to the café, where he greeted a brown-haired woman wearing bright red lipstick. She was baking something, and she gave Kate a little wave.
"What is this place?" Stan asked. "And why isn't anybody else here?"
"I guess you could say this is our safe haven," Kenny said, throwing an arm around Kate, who stuck out her tongue at him. "Or… our hideout."
"Hideout?"
"Does this ring a bell?" Kate inquired, reaching into her bag. She took off her glasses and let her long hair out of its ponytail before popping her head back up, a pair of white-and-purple striped panties on her face.
"W-wait, you're Melodyshock?!" Stan yelped. Kenny put a black pair on his face. Stan felt shocked. "A-and Kenny's Mysterion?!"
"Yep!" Kate replied, putting the panties back in her bag with a smile. By the time she looked up, Stan was already dialing the authorities.
"NO!" Kenny yelled, tackling Stan to the floor.
"HELP!" Stan yelled to the brown-haired woman, who simply smiled and waved. "THEY'RE TERRORISTS!"
"She knows!" Kate snapped. "Right, Mom?"
The woman gave Kate a thumbs-up.
"Wait, she's your mom?"
"Yeah. Do you know why we brought you here today?"
"Because you're going to kill me so I don't rat you out?"
"Nope. It's for two reasons. The first is because you helped my brother yesterday."
"Your brother?"
"The heavy kid on the subway. He's my older brother."
"And the other reason is…"
"Because of who your father was and how you can help us. I may have come from outside Park County, but I was only five years old. You actually know this stuff, so we need you."
"The basement's ready!" the woman called to Kate.
"Thanks, Liane," Kenny told her as Kate helped Stan to his feet and led him to a side door.
In the basement, Kate dug through her bag and pulled out a small purple flip-phone.
"Ready?" she asked Kenny.
"You know it, baby," he said.
"What's going on?" Stan asked.
"Oh, nothing… except this is fucking huge!" Kenny yelled right after Kate flipped open the phone.
"DUDE, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!" Stan gasped. "THE COPS ARE GOING TO—"
Stan realized Kenny's PeaceMaker collar wasn't going off.
"This baby was a gift from my uncle and stepfather before he got taken away," Kate explained. "It makes it really easy to bypass the PeaceMakers, or as I call them, PMS. Kenny loves it."
"Fuck yeah, I do!"
"So… wait, are you two a thing?"
"Of course we are," Kate snorted. "I trust Kenny with my life, and he trusts me with his."
"That's because I'm a pervert and a sucker for a fucking sexy ass."
"You know Eric's going to kick your ass, right?"
"Yeah."
Stan snuck towards the door while they were distracted, but Kate threw out her arms and stopped him.
"Uh-uh, Stan. You're going to help us with a little operation."
"No way!" the black-haired boy snapped. "You can't make me, and you can't stop me from telling the police, either!"
"Yes, we can," Kenny chuckled. "Remember that rope yesterday? Your fingerprints are all over it. If you don't help us, we turn it over to the police and report you as the terrorist."
Dang it. They've got me.
"Besides, I don't want Kate's tight little—"
"No, Kenny. I know you have no filter when the phone's open, but that's crossing the line," Kate sighed.
"Sorry. I just don't think you'd last with the other female ero-terrorists without them raping you."
Stan felt a little uncomfortable.
"So, what do you need my help with?" he asked.
"We're going to hijack the assembly on Friday," Kate explained. "You're going to help us by causing a distraction pretending to be me."
"WHAT?!"
"It's easy! A wig and a costume and they won't know the difference!"
"NO! I refuse!"
"Hello, is this the Center for Moral Health?" Kate asked innocently, the display for the Center up. "We have a lead on yesterday's—"
"STOP!" Stan put his hand over her PM. "I'll help you, okay?"
"Okay, then!" Kate clapped her hands excitedly, looking closer to five than fifteen. Kenny gave her a look of adoration.
"Isn't she cute?" he laughed. She punched him in the shoulder.
"Shut up. I'm not cute."
On the appointed day, Stan found himself being dressed in a cleverly-improvised Melodyshock disguise while Kenny prepped the dirty pictures for the drop. Kate was messing with the sound system in the gym, and if Stan was being honest, he had no idea what she was doing.
"Okay, so you draw a pussy on the field," Kenny told Stan. "I have a reference image if you need it. I'll drop the pictures while Kate's messing with everyone's heads using the sound system. That should be the kick in the ass everyone needs."
"To do what?"
"That's for us to know."
"How about a dick instead of a vagina?" Kate muttered. "I swear, your fascination with female anatomy is going to get our cover blown."
"How about you blow me?"
"Not till the damn PMS system is destroyed."
Kenny pouted but shook his head.
"Say what you will, babe, but I'm the one who dragged you into this."
Stan headed out and started drawing on the field. Despite Kenny and Kate's suggestions, he couldn't bring himself to draw male or female parts on the field, so he chose to draw something else.
He managed to finish and escape to the gym, just in time to see Kate and Kenny playing a clip of flies 'body-melding', whatever that was. He could hear Kate narrating that clip over the intercom system, along with the shocked cries of the students below and Wendy's screaming for the other members of the student council to help her catch Melodyshock and Mysterion.
Needless to say, it was a mess.
And thus came the end of his first mission as an ero-terrorist.
So like I said, this is a spinoff of From Jersey to Colorado, my first South Park fanfiction. I hope you'll all read that one as well! Also, if anybody has any punny names for the ero-terrorist group, I'd gladly appreciate the suggestions!
So long and thanks for all the fish!