Touch of Gunpowder.
Summary: You really do listen to everything I say, don't you, Jude? Alvin/Jude. Pwp!
Warning: This fanfic contains a very unhealthy relationship! It's not exactly rape, but it's very unhealthy! If that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable/upset, please don't upset yourself by reading this, friends!
His face is bright red as he shifts silently to himself. From the way his shoulders are hunched, to the opening and closing of his fist, I can tell he's anxious, apprehensive. That isn't a bad thing, though. Being alert, being so alert you might psyche yourself, isn't always a bad thing. If anything I can use this to my advantage. I can use him to my advantage. I can use him.
'I'm twisted, aren't I?' I think to myself, but don't dare answer. I don't need to; I already know the answer.
He's sitting on his bed, one leg hanging off the side, the other nestled close to his chest. There isn't exactly anything stopping me. In the way he's sitting, in the way he's distracted, he's practically open game. I nearly throw up at the mere fact that I just thought that.
Though, to be completely fair, I've never been one to play by the rules. I've never cared about how I looked, in terms of my morals, and I've never cared much what people have said about me. After all, when you disappear without a trace, it's hard for your actions to come back to haunt you anywhere but your dreams. God, do the nightmares ever persist. I ignore that, though - because the moment I shut the door, Jude's bright sunshine colored eyes are focused on me, and I can feel their judgment.
"You were out?" I nod to him, and he retreats his gaze to the floor, his face even redder than before, if that was even possible.
"Yeah, had some business to take care-"
"Why don't you drop the act?" He's fast in his remarks, snide even. It is to be expected, though.
Petty words are exchanged, he still doesn't trust me, and I can't find it in myself to trust me either. After all, I'm a walking abandonment complex. It's no wonder that I'm so forth-coming with all my flaws, with all my deep rooted fears and falters –note the sarcasm so heavy in my voice it could choke a man.
"What can I do to make you trust me?" I don't mean a word of this, I tell myself over and over; none of this matters to me.
A sad look crosses Jude's face and I'm taken aback for a second.
"Prove that you… show me… that you love me." He answers slowly, carefully, and doesn't dare look me in the eye. All he can do is pull his leg up closer to his chest and try to pretend he isn't ripping himself apart from the inside out. A feeling of dread pools in my stomach, as though the excitement from caught bait has come to coexist right snug against my legitimate caring for this kid –that's all he is, is a kid trying desperately to be an adult, and I want to kiss him softly just as much as I want to make him swallow a bullet.
Though, I know I feel absolutely elated knowing that I don't even have to take what I want. What I want? When did I start wanting to do this? I don't remember. Probably around the time I started wanting to show him my angels and demons.
"Show you, that I love you?" I repeat, already making my way over to his side, a hand already placed on his shoulder. He flinches ever so slightly at the touch, but I don't draw back. For a moment, he stays silent, but nods his head in agreement. I don't need any more obligation than that.
I lean down to kiss him, and he sputters out a bit of a surprised yelp when I do. Even though he asked me to, he's still surprised when I comply –and I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised at myself. This isn't anything I'm used to doing, at least not with a male –a boy no less- and certainly never for the purpose of manipulation. Usually it's just to ease the pain of lonely nights and lonely thoughts.
It's a bit sickening to think of it like that, but I don't mind. He's eager to please, and enjoys having my tongue in his mouth. At least, that's what the muffling purring and content sighing is about, for all I care. He tries so hard to battle for dominance, to show me that he's not just a boy, but I don't exactly let him. I cradle his face in my hands and continue to kiss the breath out of him.
Drool slips down his chin every now and then, and there's always a thin line of spittle every time we break from air –he's far too eager for his own good, not that I'm complaining. After all, I initiated this train wreck of a situation.
"Satisfied?" I ask, a cockiness filling my voice as I look over Jude's appearance –disheveled hair, bright pink cheeks, red lips with drool all over them, and a stupid satisfied cross-eyed look on his face. If I hadn't known better, I'd say he'd never really been kissed before.
"Not at all, I'm still not convinced." The determined look in his eyes just makes me want to kick myself, or maybe even him. All I'm doing is toying with him, and here he is –letting me get away with it, even encouraging this act. I give him a look of concern, mostly just for show, and I gently push him back on the bed –well, as gently as I can, of course. Being much larger than him, it's a bit difficult to handle his tiny form easily, even with it being so well-defined. He doesn't hesitate, though, and lets me do it.
As soon as he's all nice and situated, I pick up where I left off kissing him, asserting my dominance over him, and he loves every second of it. His arms wrap around my neck, pulling me down on him more, and I have to be careful not to smother him under my weight. Stupid kid is going to hurt himself.
Without much delay, I work his shoes off –pulling one leg up at a time and removing the chunky boots- and start on my own. It's much more of a challenge to get mine off, since I have to keep myself grounded, and it takes a significantly longer amount of time and struggle. Though, I'm victorious in my endeavors, and begin to work on my scarf and coat next.
Kissing a moaning fool and removing ones clothes at the same time is a demanding, difficult task, but I manage somehow, and before I know it I'm only in my undershirt and pants, while Jude still has on a majority of his clothes.
"Want me to sit up, so you can undress me?" Jude asks in between kisses, and I'm nearly left stunned. I really do have this kid wrapped around my finger.
I nod, and he sits up. Getting him to cooperate was the easy part, but figuring out how to undo every clasp and hook is a bit of a pain, to say the very least, but well worth it. Soon, he's almost completely naked, save for his pants, and I'm almost… eager to see if he'll continue.
"Are you going to…deflower…me?" He says it with such hesitation I nearly flinch. Though, I keep a calm face, a cool demeanor, and I stroke his cheek lovingly, twirling with a loose strand of hair.
"Only if that is what you want. Do you want to become one with me?" The words are out of my mouth before I think them, and I can only think of how cold it could sound to an outsider. There isn't a thing I would or wouldn't do for Jude, if it wasn't what he wanted, because truly, he's the representation of my less fucked up aspects. He's like me, but younger, more naïve, more innocent. He's like me, if I hadn't seen bloodshed so early, if I hadn't felt so abandoned, so… betrayed. If I hadn't been thrust into a life I never wanted.
He nods, a soft smile on his lips. I remove my shirt without a moment of hesitation, and lean down on him, kissing his neck softly. Under my touch, he mewls a bit, breathing heavily. The sound is music to my ears, and I lap at his neck with even more vigor.
From the corner of my eye, I can see one of his arms moving, and I can hear the sound of clanking, and see that he's pulled off his belt. Without much thought, I remove my own, and set it to the side –I would toss it on the floor with the rest of my clothes, but I could use a belt in case he resists.
"Alvin, please, no more teasing." Drool is dribbling out the side of his mouth –not unlike a needy whore, I surmise- and he's looking so very eager to be pleased. I don't let the opportunity go to waste, and make to remove his pants. Propping his hips up, I slide them off with ease, discarding them to the floor, and he's a red-faced mess if I've ever seen one. Though, when I take a moment to look at him, I'm a bit disgusted with what I see –jutting out ribs from lack of eating, scars and bruises from battle. It's sickening to see such perfect, pale skin be marred like this. And to think that I only plan to hurt him more. Truly depraved of me. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop, though.
"You don't want to do this, do you? I only make you sick, don't I?" Jude's words fall from his lips, and I'm struck by them.
"No, the only thing sickening is how your skin is so tarnished by battle. I guess I haven't been doing a good enough job of protecting you, have I?" I play it off easily, and he regains that cheery smile on his face, if only saddened by my words.
"You're doing the best you can. I mean, you're covered in loads more scars than me." He gestures at my chest, and I feel like he's nearly mocking me. Of course I have more scars than him, he's just some cheeky brat who –why am I thinking this? I sigh to myself, and continue examining Jude –so very embarrassed with how he's completely naked and I still have my pants on.
"But enough about that, at least for now." In a single movement, I have a hand barely ghosting over Jude's erection –size just a bit above average for a boy his age- and another holding one of his legs over my shoulder. The look on his face goes from nervous and shy to frazzled and expectant. I swipe a finger softly down his length, and he breathes out a heavy moan in response.
"Eager, are we?" He nods, embarrassed, no doubt. Though I can't help but find him sublimely adorable – and yet another strange thought, first he was useless and cheeky, and now he's a little darling angel? Make up your mind, would you, brain.
"A bit. Could you…?" He doesn't finish his statement, but I know what he wants, and from all the head I've received in my life, I'm certain I can give it fairly well – at least hypothetically. Whatever it takes to warp his little brain.
In an instant, I'm leaning over, the whole of his manhood mere centimeters in front of me, and before he can say another word I swallow the tip, running my tongue over it. He groans in approval, and I continue on, trying to wet it with my spit, fisting what I can't fit into my mouth. He's craned his head back, and I can't see his darling expression, but that doesn't stop me for a second. Every few moments, I swirl my tongue around the head of his dick, and every time I do he moans loudly and I cringe at the taste of his precum. In this moment, I realized I've swallowed my pride just as I swallowed his dick.
It's when he starts bucking his hips up that I start having a problem with this arrangement, and I take my unoccupied hand to keep his hips down. He groans in disapproval, and I can tell he's ever so close to cumming. And that's when I know to take my cue and stop.
"Why did you stop?" Upset and bratty, he sits up, a look of panic and need on his face. In my opinion, he looks absolutely perfect just like that. In fact, I wouldn't mind doing that more often just to see him like this.
"Because, I can't just let you have all the fun." This seems to settle him down a tad, but he still doesn't relax.
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"Here, wet these." I shove two fingers into his face, and he gives me a perplexed, upset stare, as though what I was doing was weird.
"Huh?"
"I'm going to fuck that tight little ass of yours, but if I don't stretch you nice and proper, it's going to hurt. So be a good boy and wet these good with your saliva." Eyes widen, and his face turns even brighter than before. Just like a light switch turning on, he opens his mouth, tongue meeting skin, and he laps them up nice and sloppy. From the way he treats my fingers, I'm almost upset that it wasn't my cock instead –but that'll be in a few moments after I've gotten him nice and loosened.
I hastily remove my fingers from his mouth, and place them at his entrance. Before he can say anything to show me it's okay, I shove the first finger in, rough, all the way to the knuckle. He sputters and thrashes, teeth grinding together, his nails digging into my neck and bicep. That does nothing to stop or hinder me, and I finger him happily –curling my digit every few thrusts. Once he's simmered down a bit, I plunge in the second one, and from the panicked look on his face, I can tell he needs a few moments. I don't give them to him, and go straight back to finger fucking him, curling and scissoring him loose.
"A-Alviiin!" He calls out, and I nearly falter –I don't though. If anything, it encourages me to go faster, and from how he's loosening up, I put a third one in –this one I take slowly, though, since it wasn't slicked up. I only give him a moment, and then get right back to loosening him up.
"Please, I'm ready, just, put it in!" Such a desperate, desperate fool. In a single motion, I position myself so I'm straddling his stomach, my fingers still deep inside of him, and he's at eye-level with my crotch. With my free hand, I work the zipper on my pants, and he's only wide-eyed and terrified to see my dick –while I'm not one to brag, I'd say that a good seven inches is well above what he was expecting.
"I don't have any lube, so this is going to be the next best thing. Just like my fingers, it's only going to be as wet as you make it." His eyes scream his emotions, but he doesn't say anything and just tentatively takes in his hands, and gives a cautious lick to the head. I feel rather elated at the feeling, and I become even harder, if that was even possible.
Jude is hardly an expert at this, but he knows well enough to only take it bit by bit, careful not to bite down. When I can feel him starting to use his tongue to swirl around the head, I can only groan, and bring my free hand to rest at the back of his head, keeping him in place. I can tell it panics him a bit, as I push him just a little deeper every time he bobs forward, and soon, I've gotten him to swallow half my cock. He's sputtering and looks like he's about to cry, but doesn't, and just pushes onward. Though, it's when I push my fingers into him at a certain angle that he loosens his jaws and lets me push into him almost entirely. It feels incredible, with his hot writhing mouth entirely around me, and I nearly cum just from that. I don't though, and quickly pull out
"Alright, get on your knees." He doesn't ask questions –really can't, since he's currently trying to massage a sore jaw- and does as he's told. In an instant, I have him just where I want him; legs spread, the tip of my cock just barely touching his entrance. Even though he's impatient, he hardly squirms at all, and lets me toy with him. He groans when I slide my dick between his cheeks, not entering him, just grinding against him. I can do this all day, but he starts wiggling, clearly uncomfortable.
"Just-" It's a breathy moan, but I can hear a slightly audible word in there.
"Hmm?"
"Just put it in, would you?" I don't deny the boy another moment, and practically impale him with my dick. The teen screams, entire body going rigid, and I only give him a moment to relax. I'm not nearly kind enough to give him what he needs.
Before he can adjust to a slow pace, I'm slamming into him, every thrust making him cry and moan. In the back of my mind, I feel the slightest bit of guilt for doing this to him, but I quickly brush it aside. I never intended to make love to him; I wanted to take his flower, with as much force and crying as I wanted. It's not my fault he gave me permission –like the fool he is.
I nearly curse my own thoughts, and pound into him once, incredibly deep, before changing our position –with my back against the wall and him riding me from behind. He's far too shallow in his own attempts to fuck himself, and I grab his torso –pulling his legs up with it- and thrust into him wildly.
It's when he tenses up magnificently that I realize I've found his sweet spot, and I begin to aim for that, angling my thrusts just so, and before I know it he's practically screaming for more. I happily oblige. His ass is wonderfully tight around me, and when he tenses it's almost like I can see stars.
"A-Alviiinnnn, more, r-right –ah- there!" I only smirk at this, and pull out completely. It's only a little painful for me –since, even though I am just toying with him, he's giving me a wonderful fuck.
"N-NO! What! No! Put it back! Put it in! I-I'm so close!" He's moaning out, clearly out of his mind in lust.
"You have to promise me something." I have him balanced over my dick, sliding him back and forth over it
"I'll do a-anything!"
"Promise me, you'll be my little puppet." Whispering into his ear, he tenses up tight, and while I'm unable to see his expression, I can tell that it's most likely one of realization –though his body language doesn't change for a second. I slide my dick between legs, and I can feel him shake at the feeling.
"A-Alvin, I'll be whatever you want me to be, I'll be anything you want, just, please, put it in!" How very predictable and wonderful –like music to my ears. Without another moment, I plunge back into him, all the way to the base, and he moans out my name so beautifully. He's so incredibly tight, and I slam into him sporadically.
Every time I push into him, he mewls out some sound of ecstasy, and it only encourages me more. Before I know it, I have him pinned back down on the bed, plowing his smaller frame until he screams. With a few more thrusts, he tenses around me tight, his seed spilling onto the bed sheets. It only takes one last plunge into him before I'm seeing stars, all the way up to the base, cumming deep inside of him. Beneath me, Jude squirms at the feeling, but I hold him there for a moment longer.
When I'm fully done, I pull out –his hole is stretched and leaking with my seed- and he relaxes fully, rolling over. From the dazed look on his face, I can tell he's already spent, not that I'd really want or need to go another round, and I'm more than content with that.
"So, what do you want from me? As a puppet?" Even half-asleep, his voice is perfect and precious –such a darling little brat for me to use.
"You really do listen to everything I say, don't you, Jude?" I whisper to myself, a half-hearted smile on my face. The boy looks up at me for a moment, curious at what I said, but doesn't say anything.
"I want you to give up on Milla. I want you to forget you ever cared about her. Because from now on, your only concern will be me, will be us. Because I care about you, Jude, and I couldn't bear to see you stray," I pause for a moment, contemplating my next move –it doesn't take me long to realize I know exactly what I'm going to say. "I love you, Jude."
He only gives me a sleepy smile, and nods in approval. Careful not to disturb him, I walk to the other side of the bed
"I love you too, Alvin. Of course I'll stay with you. You can call me whatever you want, puppet or otherwise, but I'll do whatever you want."
You really are a pathetic, perfect fool, aren't you, Jude?
I fall asleep holding him close.
(x)
a/n: I am so sorry, fans. I'm very sorry. I really needed to write a fucked up fanfic of these two, though. So I did. Enjoy!