Do You Really Want To Know?
"Hey Percy where you been?" I could have pretended that I didn't hear him, but he would just repeat it.
"I took some time off LaSalle, what's it to you?"
"Well, I was just wondering. The last time you just took off we caught you smuggling drugs."
"Leave it alone LaSalle. You know you didn't appreciate me and Brody giving you the business when you were 'out there'. You lived with someone for weeks and didn't say a word to me, so I don't welcome your fifth degree right now."
"A little testy are we today Sonja? You know I care about you."
"Guess so about as far as you can throw a stick. "
"What does that mean?"
"It seems that that feeling only comes and goes with your whims" I say as I roll my eyes. You have made it perfectly clear that we're friends, actually co-workers, so stick to that venue please." I get up and walk back to Triple P's office as I feel LaSalle staring at me.
About an hour later Pride comes down stairs and tells us we need to head down NOPD and pick up a suspect. Shit. Where's Tammy?
Later in the car
"Look Percy, I thought we had gotten past that hostility thing."
"I don't know what you alluding to."
"Since you came back you have kind of retreated from where we were" pointing at him and I. "You avoided me as much as you could yesterday. We walked on the waterfront a couple of weeks ago and talked about my dream of owning that boat and you fishing on it with me. You had been so concerned about me when I came back from home. Now you're back from where ever the hell you went and I sense the wall coming back up."
"I had a lot of time to think while I was gone LaSalle. You need to remember that I opened my heart to you and you slammed the door shut."
"Come on Percy, we talked about this."
"Well, you talked, I listened. I did what Pride wanted and left our involvement professional. You made the decision about 'us' or the 'no us' I guess. I had a lot of time to think. I needed to get away from you and New Orleans. I had to think about what I wanted. But I can't have what I wanted so I needed to reassess exactly what that was."
"And what did you decide?"
"You don't want to know."
"If I didn't want to know, why I would bring it up?"
"Alright then. I want you. I want a chance at an 'us'. I want to beat your behind in a card game on boy's night out, laugh while walking down the street during a festival, make love to you at night or any other convenient time and wake up in your arms every morning. Don't look so surprised. I warned you if you didn't want to know don't ask.
I'm the one who saw you crash and burn after your mermaid died. I'm the one that sat next to you nearly every day after Tucker left and watched you cover up the pain in your heart. I'm the one you call every time that Cade goes off on the deep end. I'm the one that stands by and watches your mind go here and there as you try to reconcile what your father did to you with his death and the business. I'm the one you address as your co-worker not your friend, or dear friend or whatever. I'm the one who just wants to pull you into a corner and put my arms around your neck or sit in your lap and let your gripe, cry or yell out at what is going on in your life right now. I'm the one who runs the dog so much that he turns to come home on his own because he is the one who is tired at the miles I have put on my shoes and his padded feet as I try to run away from the pain in this heart.
I decided that I can't do this anymore Christopher. I have always been a sore loser. I determined that I can't take this and I need to make a change. I can't make this dream come true but I'll be damn if I live a nightmare of not having what I want.
We're here. Let's go."
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