I cover my eyes with my arm, blinking repeatedly allowing my eyes to adjust to the bright light that surrounds me. For a while I just lay there, I hear beeps and a steady dripping noise from somewhere above me, ever so slowly I remove my arm from my eyes and allow myself to stare a blinding white light that looms above me. Slowly I begin to observe my surroundings, I take in all the machines, the three chairs that are pulled up beside the bed that have blankets and pillows strung all over them. As I sit up I feel a sharp pain in my chest that fills the rest of my body as quickly as my chest consuming me with it. Falling back on to the bed, I hear a heavy door swing open and close quietly. A shuffle of feet alert me to the presence of several people. I move to sit up again, this time taking care not to bring the pain back. Before I can even sit up or process what's happening, my aunt is there hugging me and sobbing into my shoulder. I see Sebastian standing near the door looking slightly uncomfortable. My mind is still muddled and confused but and I can't really make sense of what's happened.
"What's going on Aunt Ann?" I croaked. Sebastian grabbed the glass of water that was placed on the table near my bed and handed it to me. I nod my thanks and drink heavily. My entire body was sore and my right eye was completely on fire. My aunt noticed my discomforted and pressed the button to call the nurses station.
"How may we help you?" Came a sweet voice threw the small intercom.
"He's awake, could you send Dr. Spears in?" My aunt didn't say anything more and the nurse made no acknowledgement of the statement yet in walked a monotonous looking man not moments later.
"Hello Ciel, do you think you could tell me how much you remember from the accident?" I noticed Sebastian move closer to me and I was thankful for his silent support. He was never one to give verbal encouragement but I always knew he was here for me.
"I remember bits and pieces. I remember the sound of crashing metal and a sharp pain in my eyes. Everything else is kind of blurry but I think I was in a car accident right? I can't remember who was in the car with me though." I shook my head a bit careful not to move too much for fear of inducing more pain. Aunt Ann was holding my left hand and silently crying into her other palm and Sebastian stood to my left. He didn't touch me or cry but I knew how hurt he was to see me in such a state. I got the feeling that I should remember more about the accident but no ones made any move to fill in the blanks for me.
"Ann if you could step out into the hall with me for a moment please?" She nodded and kissed my forehead and left without a word.
"Sebastian what's going on? What aren't you guys telling me?" I stood firm in my resolve to know what I was lacking but at the same time I was terrified to know. Sebastian would never keep things from me unless he know I couldn't handle them. He's been my best friend for over 6 years know and he knew that I could handle a lot.
"Ciel... Please don't make me tell you." I could see the sadness swimming in his eyes along with regret. What could he possibly have to regret? I sighed in resolve at my best friends words.
"Alright I won't ask you to tell me. I know how protective you are and whatever it is I'm missing must be really bad if you said please."
I noticed the small smirk that came to his face at my light teasing. I smiled a bit too. I felt safe and calm with Sebastian around; he's always been the one to keep me from doing anything to irrational. I laid back against the pillows and closed my eyes. I heard Sebastian's footsteps start to leave the room and I panicked.
"Please don't leave Sebastian. Will you stay until I fall asleep?" I had this overwhelmingly sense that I didn't want to be alone so I let my pride fall away and asked that Sebastian stay. Normally I'd never even entertain the idea of asking someone to stay by my bedside because I was scared. Before this I would have scoffed at the suggestion of me being afraid. I scooted over to make room for Sebastian to lay down next to me. He slowly crawled onto the bed so he was right next to me but he was careful not to agitate any of my wounds. I could resist laying my head on his shoulder and I was happy to find that in turn he carefully wrapped his arm around my waist and brought me closer.
"Ciel, whenever you remember what happened I just want you to remember I'm here for you alright?" I nodded lazily into his chest only half hearing his words of comfort. I felt warm and content lying in his arms.
I should have figured that everything that was occurring right now would have an impact on the future. I never considered all the possibilities and I didn't expect anything to change with Sebastian, but like all things everything moved forward and sadly when I closed my eyes that time all of my memories of the past night decided to come rushing back. No matter how many time Sebastian had protected me in all our years of knowing at each other. It was the day after my birthday that he was unable to protect me from the worst demon ever, myself.
I looked forward and saw my father and mother smiling softly as we all chatted about our days. It was December 14th, the day of my 16th birthday. We were headed home from our night out as a family. Aunt Ann had decided just to go home and the Milfords had left before anyone else. Sebastian had decided to not attend because he claimed he would be 'intruding' but he was gonna be waiting for me at home so we could hang out. He planned on speeded the night so we planned to camp out in my game room and watch horror movies all night. I spoke animatedly as I told mom what Sebastian and I had planned.
"But Ciel are you sure that's a good idea? You're still afraid of horror movies right?"
I just shrugged, "Sebastian wants to watch horror movies and I probably won't even pay that much attention to it." Deep down I was terrified to watch any form of horror movie but if
Sebastian wanted to watch one I figured I could be brave and withstand it. Besides I would never admit to being scared.
Just as moms about to speak again I see the bright white lights coming directly towards us. Dad didn't even have time to react before our car collided with ours. I remember all the burning pain that filled my body and the bitter taste of blood filled my mouth. I felt something crawling down my face. I reached up and felt right under my eye, and when I pulled my hand away it was covered in blood. I gasped and strained to look around. I was able to move freely but my mind was clouded, I couldn't feel the pain anymore so I guess my body had finally gone into shock and allowed me a few blissful moments of peace as I tried to locate my parents.
I looked in the front and I was met with the most gruesome sight. My mothers usually pristine face was smeared with blood. Her hair was matted with her own blood and her eyes were wide open but dead. I felt light headed and I could feel my consciousness slipping away from me. I tried to stay conscious as long as possible. I needed to find dad and see if he's alright.
It was at that point that I passed out.
I woke up startled and shaken. My breathing was ragged and even though it was painful I couldn't stop the sobs that broke free.
"Ciel?" I heard Sebastian's voice slightly gruff from just being woken up. As soon as he saw my tear stained face he grabbed me and pulled me close.
I pushed him away so I could look in his eyes, "Seb-Sebastian I remember what happened. Where are they? Where's dad is he okay?"
I was crying but at the same time I needed to know what happened to my family. I couldn't stand not knowing. I need confirmation of whether they were alive or dead. I just needed to know.
Sebastian didn't need to say anything. His pulling me close and whispering soothing words in my ear spoke volumes. They were gone. I was glad my aunt wasn't in the room because I would never want her to see me as weak yet here I was crying into Sebastian's chest. I'm not sure what shocked me more, the fact that I completely let go of my pride or the fact that in the midst of this I felt Sebastian crying as well. I had never seen my best friend cry ever. He was a rock strong and sturdy; nothing could faze him but here he was mourning with me, allowing me to cry on his shoulder. Even at a time think this when he couldn't hold back his own emotions he still was my rock, the only thing that kept me grounded.
Aunt Ann walked in shortly after we had both stopped crying. Our faces were a bit puffy but if she noticed she didn't say anything.
"Ciel, I know you're still uncertain about recent events but-"
"It's alright Aunt Ann. When I fell asleep I remembered." I put on my bravest face and kept my voice composed. Sebastian shot me a look of disbelief. I could practically hear his words in my mind scolding me for being so uncompassionate. I couldn't bring myself to mourn them for long. I needed to withstand all the trials in front of me and still come out on top. It was who I am.
"Then I think it would be best if I moved into the manor with you. I don't want you to have to uproot your entire life just to come live with me. I'm able to work from whichever hospital I need to so I feel that this is the best arrangement. What do you think?"
I nodded, "I agree. I don't wish to leave my childhood home. It would be my pleasure for you to move in Aunt Ann."
She smiled softly at me and murmured, "you hold your head high even in the darkest of hours. You're definitely Rachel and Vincent's son." I smiled softly as well, I thought of all the times that people had told me that I cared the best traits from my parents. I took mother delicate features, her compassion and her bright blue eyes. From my father I took his stubborn personality, his dark slate coloured hair and his ability to lead in any situation. I never minded being compared to my parents like most kids did, for me it was like a badge of honour knowing that I was somewhat as amazing as my predecessors. I carried the Phantomhive name with pride and would continue to do so even now that both of them were gone. I carried the confidence in me that was bestowed on me by both of them and I refuse to let them down.
Aunt Ann, Sebastian and I spoke about the arrangements that needed to be made. Sebastian planned on staying at my house until my injuries would heal which would be about a month. Dr. Spears said my estimated time of recovery was about a month. Sebastian's parents were away on business a lot so he spent a lot of his time at my house anyway so it wa nothing new. We planned on bring over some more of his things but other than that he would be staying in his normal bedroom down across the hall from mine.
Aunt Ann was going to take the guest bedroom she normally stayed in downstairs as her new bedroom. She planned to have movers pack up her things and bring them over a few days after I was released. Dr. Spears planned on keeping me for more monitoring until the day after tomorrow so I would only need to stay a total of two more days before I could head home. During that time Sebastian would be attending school still and he would bring me my assignments as well. Both he and Ann planned on staying with me in the hospital as much as possible even at my protest. I thought they should go home. I was still terrified of being alone but I knew that both of them were hardly sleeping, and both looked like they could use a good nights rest in their own beds.
Sebastian helped me with my homework during the two day period and I went back and forth between my good times and bad times. The doctors were slowly weaning me off the stronger medications and at certain points I could hardly stand all the pain.
"Ciel?" Sebastian was lying next to me once again and spoke softly so he didn't wake my Aunt who was sleeping in a chair on the other side of the room.
I responded by humming lowly giving him a sign of acknowledgment.
"Are you sure you're alright. You don't have to be brave. Ann and I are here for you."
I nodded and and looked at him. "I'm not gonna sit here and mourn forever. I'm upset and angry but at the same time I'm now the head of my family. I'm 16 and I just inherited an entire estate and company." I shrugged, "I can't allow my sorrows to overwhelm me."
Sebastian didn't say anything in reply he just stared at me mulling over my words. We both laid back against the bed and let ourselves get wrapped up in our own thoughts.
After some time I spoke softly, "I don't want to think about it. I feel broken and smashed. My family has been altered and I may have lost the ability to see in my right eye. I'm not sure how strong I can be, I'll probably break down and I'm glad you'll be there to support me. With you here I know I'm not alone." Sebastian gave me no response and I was glad. I hadn't know that he'd already fallen asleep but I'm glad he did. I would have been embarrassed if he heard all that. I rolled over on my right side facing away from Sebastian and facing toward the window in my room. I closed my eyes and tried to will away the nightmares that I'd been having lately.
On the day of my release Sebastian skipped school to welcome me home. Aunt Ann had helped me from my room into the car and while Sebastian was at the estate helping Mey-Rin, Tanaka, Bard and Finny get everything ready for my arrival. Aunt Ann is going to be resuming her shifts at the hospital but she's only going to be working nights for the next week so she can be home with me while Sebastian is at work.
The servants were being tasked with their normal duties as well as watching Sebastian and I while Aunt Ann was gone. They weren't to hover over us but they would occasionally check to make sure we were both okay.
I was uncertain of how I felt to be returning home without my parents. As we approached the rough iron gate of the border to our land I felt a knot coil in my stomach. As we approached the manor I couldn't help but look at the small details of the manor. The large open windows that let in a generous amount of light, to the stone bricks that appeared cracked yet sturdy. I took in the sight before we and regretted everything. My birthday was meant to be a time of joy but I felt as though from this moment on I wouldn't be able to think of it as such.
That knot loosed as I saw Sebastian, Tanaka, Finny, Bard, Mey-Rin and the Milfords standing at the door with smiles ready to welcome me home. I smiled timidly and stepped out of the car careful not to jar my ribs to much.
"CIEL!" My cousin Elizabeth almost threw herself at me before her mother stopped her through a reprimand.
"He's injured Elizabeth, don't cause your cousin any harm." She pouted but gave my a tentacles hug anyway.
I gave a grateful look towards my Aunt Francis, "Hi Elizabeth."
She pouted even more and crossed her arms in a huffing manner, "I've told you to call me Lizzy!"
I forced a smile, "Alright... Lizzy." Aforementioned girl squealed in delight planted a big kiss on my cheek. Her older brother Edward stepped in at that moment and stepped between us to say his pleasantries.
"Hello Ciel. I'm glad you're making a recovery." He spoke politely but I could see the hidden malice in his eyes. He was never fond of me since we were children and Elizabeth had begun to treating me more like a brother than a cousin. I guess he felt like he was the only one who could be so important to Elizabeth.
My Aunt Francis and Uncle Alexis weren't emotional people so they said their pleasantries and left it at that. They made no comment about my loss or recovery which made me feel a bit better. I didn't want everyone constantly reminding me what I lost.
The servants bowed and curtsied before all flashing me beaming smiles and wishing me welcome and telling me they were happy that I was home once more. The sense of normality that they kept in the air around them made the knot diminish even more. No matter how my life changed I knew I could always count on the four Phantomhive servants.
The last person to greet me was Sebastian but his presence was the most important. At the sight of him the knot uncoiled completely and in its place sat a sense of warmth and safety. I smiled genuinely as he did the same. He didn't say anything to me, but what could be said that everyone else already hadn't so instead he chose to turn around and open the front door for everyone and ushered us inside. Sebastian never had to actually say things his acts were more than enough for me to see all his emotions.
The rest of the afternoon was spent laughing and joking with the people closest to me minus my parents. Since the car accident I had been feeling nothing but pain and grief in such overwhelming waves that to have such happiness in my presence again was a blessing. Tomorrow was my parents funerals and I knew the happiness wasn't going to last forever but regardless I was still content to have it back if only for a few moments.
The servants prepared a special dinner for everyone and we all ate in the dining hall as we joked and reminisced about the past. My new place at the head of the table felt odd and I was uncertain how to proceed. My nervousness was beginning to overwhelm me when I felt Sebastian's hand grasp my own softly and squeeze in a sign of reassurance. He didn't hold my grasp for more than a few seconds but it was enough to tell me everything I needed to know.
My life from here was going to be difficult and strange but I had people around me who would stand by me no matter what. As the new head of the Phantomhive company and estate I would gladly accept the many challenges that I would face. I smiled at the laughter my family and softly murmured to low for anyone else to hear, "Mother, Father, I think everything's going to be okay."