Author's Note #1: Hey so I haven't written One Piece in like, forever. This isn't a new story, exactly, but I rewrote it/the first part and am working on the next part, which will be released next month. I figure that I'll ease my way back into the fandom, because I really do love One Piece and all, at Dressrosa right now ... so busy with school, but I just had to do this one and fix it up. Anyway I hope you guys like this new version better! I don't own One Piece. Also there are 2 references, one to a movie, one to another anime. Can you spot them?

Tag
by: Setkia

"You can't just make a beautiful masterpiece representing your love for me, put it on the wall right behind my workplace and then run away!"

i. a compass that doesn't point north

Fuckers.

Sanji doesn't know if he's been holding the people of the North Blue to a higher standard than they deserve, or if he's just been arrogant to assume that no one would dare to hit up his restaurant, but now he's staring at appalling public vandalism, and to say that he's pissed is a bit of an understatement.

Where is it?

If this is anything like the things he's seen on the tunnels of the subway, then there has to be a marker, somewhere, some indication of the fucker who dared to "make art" on Baratie property, and when Sanji finds it, you can be sure he's going to strangle the motherfucker until they learn their lesson.

The blond chef has seen some strange graffiti in his time of twenty-four years on Earth. He's seen the ones that have UNCHAIN ME written in large, bubbly letters, with handcuffs linking the two words together, he's seen landscapes of the city under siege by a Godzilla-esque creature, he's seen misquoted lyrics to obnoxious pop songs, swear words, he's seen crude stickmen, instructions on who to call if you want a quick blowjob, he's seen images of dead bodies surrounded by crows, some people liked to draw the crows eating the rotting flesh. He's seen cryptic words like BEAUTY, over a half-rotting corpse and creepy-ass clowns.

Sanji tilts his head and squints at the picture.

It's unchanging.

But it's so stupid, it can't possibly be what Sanji thinks it is.

"Oi, how long does it take to get rid of the trash?"

Sanji nearly bites off his tongue in shock at the sudden voice and turns sharply to face Patty. He pulls the cigarette from his lips and grits his teeth. "It's gonna take as long as I fucking want it to, bastard."

Patty rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, just remember you've got your break soon- is that a compass?"

Sanji turns on his heel back to face the wall. "So it appears," he says before placing the cigarette between his lips again.

"But it's not-"

"Pointing north?" Sanji supplies. He inhales, his lungs filling with the smoke, his body warming, his senses tingling. He exhales slowly, watching the smoke puff out like a small cloud. "Doesn't make sense to me either."

"Maybe it's like … an artistic choice?"

"It's a broken compass, that's what it is," Sanji says, rolling his eyes. "Are you really going to try and understand the mind of some stupid criminal?"

"It's kinda pretty though, isn't it?"

Sanji can see the detail in the compass. The needle is very precise and pointed, but it points to the south, instead of North. There's glass as if the compass is in some kind of container, and the shadows are perfectly reflected, like how Sanji would imagine looking at an old compass would be like. It looks faded and old, and yet crisp and new. Sanji can admit that the shading is well done and there's an intricate pattern around the rim of the compass, making it feel like an antique-

"It's …" Sanji searches his vocabulary to find a word adequate enough to describe the image before him. He chews on the end of his cigarette and taps his foot. He doesn't want to compliment it because he really doesn't like the damn taggers in the city, he thinks they're disgusting and disrespectful, but he can't deny that there's something elegant about this.

As his eyes scan the piece of … paint, Sanji notices the insignia. It's a jolly roger, two swords crossing over the back of the skull and one in the skull's mouth. He wants to laugh. Zoro would certainly get a kick out of this-

"SHIT!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far-"

"Move out of the way!" Sanji shoves Patty aside and storms into the kitchen, grabbing his coat. "I'm gonna go out for my break, see ya later Old Man!"

Sanji is out the door and running before Zeff can say anything in response.

He's late.

To be fair, Sanji is also late, but still. It was Zoro's idea to meet up for coffee, and it's just bad manners to be late for an appointment you yourself set up.

"Are you going to order anything?" asks the beautiful blonde waitress.

"Ah, Conis-chan, no, not yet," Sanji says.

Conis stares at Sanji.

Is she looking at my mouth? Does she like me? Maybe I should ask her out-

"Your cigarette, Sanji-kun?"

Sanji hums, contently, placing his head in the palm of his hand, leaning forward. "Yes, Conis-chan?"

Conis is frowning slightly. Sanji sits up straighter, it's not good to make women feel uncomfortable. He controls himself, reigning in his hormones. Okay, maybe she doesn't want him to pull a move on her, so why is she staring at him-

Sanji sees the no smoking sign out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, my mistake, Conis-chan!"

He puts out his cigarette into the ashtray and gives her a sheepish grin. "Habit of mine," he admits with an apologetic shrug. Conis gives him a tight smile and goes on her way to the next customer.

Sanji deflates slightly, his eyes wandering out the window. There are so many people out and about. Somehow, despite the giant sign announcing Bink's Brew, the Marimo hasn't found his way?

A head of moss hair appears out of the corner of Sanji's vision. He smirks, watching as Roronoa Zoro wanders, looking beyond lost as he looks at the signs above the stores across the street, his hands in his pocket.

Sanji dials Zoro's number and watches, amused, as the swordsman jumps in surprise from the sound of his phone.

"Turn the fuck around, Marimo."

He watches as his friend slowly turns, his grip on his phone increasing. Sanji can see his forehead throb even with the distance between them. Sanji raises an eyebrow at him, challengingly. Zoro sticks out his tongue.

Sanji sits back in his chair and waits.

The green-haired swordsman storms in, the tinkling chime of the door above him announcing his fury to the occupants. He turns the chair around and sits on it, resting his elbows on the back of the chair.

"Don't. Say. A word."

Sanji doesn't. He just smirks.

This seems to irritate Zoro further than if Sanji had just said something.

Whichever way annoys the idiot more.

It's just part of their relationship. They poke at each other's shortcomings; Zoro should learn that life can't be solved by slicing through everything, Sanji should stop playing Russian roulette with lung cancer, Zoro should man up and ask for directions, and Sanji should stop being so picky when people call him a cook instead of a chef, Zoro should learn how to have manners because it isn't the stone age, and Sanji should take off his shoes before he kicks someone and breaks their bones.

It's always been this way.

They sit in silence.

"Say something, Curlicue!"

Sanji points at himself and a sly smile grows on his lips. "I'm allowed to talk now?"

"Shut up."

"Which is it?"

"You know what I mean."

"Sorry, left my caveman dictionary at home. Can you speak more slowly and enunciate?"

Zoro growls, a sound that starts in his gut and makes its way up his throat, his chest vibrating slightly when he grits his teeth. Sanji has to admit, he makes an impressive imitation of a lion, or maybe a really irritated green cat.

He makes it too easy.

"Okay, in all seriousness, what's up? You wanted to meet up for coffee, and you've wasted half of my break getting lost-"

"I didn't get lost," Zoro snaps. "The streets moved."

Sanji raises an eyebrow.

"Has anyone ever told you how annoying your face is?"

"I've never had any complaints," Sanji leans forward and grins. He bites his lip, expecting there to be a cigarette, but there is none. He licks his lips, tracing the remains of nicotine before they can leave. "Conis-chan, would you mind getting me a coffee? I take it black."

"What a surprise," Zoro deadpans.

"What?"

"It's just fitting, matches your soul."

"Did a third grader give you that insult?"

"You're just jealous,-"

"Oh yes, I am, so very, very jealous of your wit and cunning wordplay. Enthrall me, why don't you, with your silver tongue, and educate my poor, lesser mind."

"See, this is why I told Clay about you, you'd fit right in-"

"How dare you! I have so much more fashion sense than those cross-dressers-"

"So? That just means you'll be the best dressed," Zoro says with a smirk. "Show some leg, I hear that gives you extra tips."

"Are you an idiot?"

"I've been told that," Zoro hums.

Conis comes by and hands Sanji his coffee. She flashes a smile at Zoro. "Anything for you?"

"I'm good," Zoro says, dismissing her with his hand.

Sanji glares.

"You don't lose anything by being polite," he says.

"Oh yeah? If I conform to society, I lose my soul, and I'm going to need that. I already promised it to Lucy."

"Did you just call the devil Lucy?"

Zoro shrugs. "Figured I'd better be casual, he's gonna be seeing a lot of me one day." He watches as Sanji stirs his coffee and wrinkles his nose at it. "What's been new with you?"

"You grew up in that slum area, with all the graffiti, right?"

"I can tell how much you really appreciate my homeland," Zoro says dryly.

"Hush you," Sanji dismisses him. "Anyway, how'd you get rid of it?"

"Get rid of it?" Zoro echoes.

"Yeah, like the shit on the walls."

"You mean the graffiti?"

"It's the same thing," Sanji says, rolling his eyes. Zoro frowns. "You know how I feel about vandalism, and plus, while I can tolerate the stuff I see on the way to work, this time it's personal."

Zoro tilts his head.

"They got to the Baratie."

Zoro blinks.

"You're not surprised by this?"

"You are?" Zoro shakes his head. "What, did you think they'd care you come from a rich sector? Taggers don't give a fuck if you're a dignified establishment, that sure as hell won't stop them from spray painting crude dicks all over your window."

Sanji folds his arms and doesn't say a word. He gets the feeling that if he does speak, Zoro will probably make a point of judging him for how naive he sounds.

Zoro's eyes scan over Sanji. He sighs deeply. "Look, was it full of swear words?"

"Well, no …"

"Were there any depictions of sex acts or anything sexual?"

"No …"

"Did it offend you?"

Sanji opens his mouth but Zoro cuts him off before he can say anything.

"Was it offensive for a reason besides the fact that they turned your wall into a canvas?"

The cook grumbles, looking off to the side.

"I'll take that as a no. If it's not bugging anyone, leave it alone," Zoro says. "I mean, is it anywhere that your customers are going to see it?"

"No …"

"Then just leave it."

"But I'll see it! And it annoys me!"

Zoro shakes his head. "You're unbelievable."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Zoro opens his mouth, and then closes it, looking very much like a fish. He bites his lip and Sanji rolls his eyes.

"Oi, don't overwork that brain cell, it's the only one you've got."

"I was going to pay for your drink, but now I don't think I will."

"As if you could afford it."

"It's just coffee."

"You can barely pay your own rent, I doubt you can spare the cash on some luxury like coffee. Why don't you quit the dojo, you said those brats were ungrateful anyway."

"I'm good at fighting,-"

"But are you good at teaching? Cause maybe the reason why they're so unmanageable has to do with you. I mean you don't have a face that makes me want to obey you," Sanji points out. "If anything, it makes me want to hit it- oh, I see … that's how you motivate them, isn't it?"

"Shut your fucking face," Zoro snaps. "Besides, even if I quit, where would I get money?"

"Sell your swords."

Zoro glares at him. "You know I can't do that."

"Can't, or won't? They're not the same thing, you know," Sanji says, drumming his fingertips on his arm.

"I can't," Zoro repeats.

"But you have so many! Who needs four swords?"

"People."

"That's weak."

"Not as weak as you."

"So you admit it's weak?"

"I just insulted you, at least pretend to be offended."

Sanji shrugs. "I think of your insults as annoying flies, they buzz around but don't really do anything. Back on topic here, why don't you just sell one of them? They're antiques, right? You could get a fair amount of money from even one of them."

"Selling my swords are out of the question, so why don't you drop it?"

Sanji holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine, I'll back off." Sanji lifts his fingers to adjust the cigarette, to find it's not there. He groans. "Fucking …"

"You need your fix?"

"I'm fine," Sanji snaps, turning his head to the clock hanging above the counter. "My break's almost over, I gotta get going."

"You kidding me? It's been like ten minutes!"

Sanji slips into his jacket and adjusts the collar and sleeves. He smooths the fabric, and lifts his shoe, inspecting underneath it. Once he's satisfied, he takes a cigarette from his pocket and rolls his eyes. "Learn to be punctual," he says, and with that, he leaves, lighting the cigarette as he goes.

ii. a one-eyed man getting beaten in a fight

Sanji is ready to track down the motherfucker who thinks they can keep painting his damn wall without any ramifications. He's ready to stomp them under his shoe, and he's full of pent up aggression, so when he enters the dojo, he screams:

"FIGHT ME MARIMO!"

Zoro is in the middle of a compromising situation, where his head is trapped between a girl's legs, one of his arms forced behind his back, and he's turning blue.

Zoro taps out and the girl gets off of him. She grins at him. "Did I do well, sensei?"

Sanji has to stifle his laughter. Zoro? A sensei? It just doesn't sound right.

"Yeah, good job Apis, take a break."

"That's one of the kids who is tormenting you?" Sanji can't hold back his laughter this time.

"What do you want? I'm busy."

Sanji rolls his eyes. "Are you deaf as well as dumb?"

"I heard you, you can't honestly think I'm going to fight you right now though, I'm on the clock." The swordsman gestures to the kid who is happily drinking her energy drink.

"Do you really want me to beg?"

Zoro raises an eyebrow. "Is that even a question?"

"I'm not begging," Sanji says quickly before Zoro can get too many ideas. He runs his hands through his hair and frowns. He's reached the end of his cigarette.

"Sensei?"

Zoro turns and Sanji watches the odd sight of Zoro, speaking to a child. He lowers himself down to her level and nods.

Apis is covering her mouth, coughing. "Can you make the smelly man leave?"

Zoro lets out a bark of laughter. "You heard the girl, out Curly Brow."

"You can't be serious!"

"The girl has spoken, you wouldn't want to disrespect her, would you? It'd be very ungentlemanly of you," Zoro says. "Unless you're not nearly as chivalrous as you say you are."

Sanji huffs and throws the cigarette butt into the trash. "Is that better?"

"What's wrong with his face, sensei?" asks Apis, pointing at Sanji's forehead.

"OI, YOU LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-"

"Language!"

It's funny to hear Zoro of all people say such a thing, especially since Zoro has one of the dirtiest mouths Sanji has ever seen on a person. He turns back to Apis, on one knee, a hand on her shoulder. "Apis, I know we've got another half hour left of the lesson. Would you mind if my friend stayed and watched?"

Apis looks up at Sanji. For some reason, the blond never remembered how small kids can be. "I'm Apis. Who are you?"

"I'm-"

"Ero-cook."

Sanji turns on Zoro and glares. "I'm Sanji."

"That's what I said," says the moss-haired man. He dusts off his hands and whistles under his breath before taking a stance on the mat. "Now be quiet, and sit tight, Apis and I are about to go for a round two."

"Don't go easy on me, sensei," says Apis. "I hate it when adults go easy on me."

"I didn't go easy on you," says Zoro indignantly. "You're really strong."

Sanji rolls his eyes. Zoro is so obviously lying.

"Wanna count us in, Ero-cook?"

Sanji glares at Zoro, but he smiles at the young girl who's just spoken. "Alright." He lifts his arm, "On the count of three. One … Two … Three!"

The girl launches herself forward, her teeth sinking into Zoro's arm. Zoro forcefully pushes her off with much less care than Sanji thinks he should be using, considering she's so petite. She hits the mat, and Zoro goes to punch her. He's quick, as quick as he is when he fights Sanji, but Apis catches his fist and pushes against him. Sanji watches in amazement as Zoro actually struggles to get out of her grip before he changes tactics and tries to twist her wrist into a position it should never be in.

Apis kicks out at him, her legs doing nothing to his chest. She twists, against the way Zoro's bending her arm and slithers out from his grip. She then uses her full force to fall onto Zoro's side and the swordsman lets out a gasp of surprise. With him distracted, she wraps an ankle around Zoro's leg and pulls, forcing him to stay put.

Zoro gets his arms out, about to bridge off of her, but she grabs onto his hair and pulls. Zoro lets out a scream and Apis gets him into a choke-hold.

Well damn … Sanji was not expecting that.

Zoro taps out and Sanji stands, dumbstruck.

Zoro just got his ass whipped, by a girl.

Sanji watches the rest of the session. Sometimes Zoro manages to take her, sometimes she beats him. She holds her own fairly well, but then again, Apis is like ten years old, Sanji lacks confidence in Zoro being serious against her.

When they're down, Apis bows to Zoro, and slings her gym bag over her shoulder. She waves goodbye to Sanji but he reaches out and holds her arm.

"Hey, Apis-chan," he says in a quiet voice. Zoro is looking at him strangely. "How do you know he isn't going easy on you?"

Apis grins widely. "Because he never goes easy on me."

"But how do you know?"

"Well …" she taps her chin thoughtfully. "He's really strong, right? When I first started I could never win, he doesn't really care if I get hurt. I mean, he feels bad if I get injured, but if it helps him escape, he does it and feels guilty later. I've blacked out a few times, and he sprained my wrist once." Why is she grinning so much?

"Don't you think he's rough with you?"

"No," Apis says. "I mean, I thought so at first, but now, not really. I know he never goes easy on me, and that means when I beat him, I beat him fair and square. I mean he still wins sometimes, but I can beat him. It means I'm getting stronger."

Sanji has no words.

"It was nice meeting you, Ero-cook."

The blond watches her go, unable to move, dumbstruck at the girl's confidence. There's a bounce in her step as she makes her way.

"Bit young for you, don't you think?"

Sanji rolls his eyes. "Shut up and fight me, Marimo."

"Kinda tired …"

"You're such a fucking liar."

Zoro smirks. "I thought you were the one with the manners, where are they now, eh, Shit-Cook?" He chuckles to himself as if he's so funny and goes to clean himself up.

Sanji kicks Zoro in the shoulder, his heel pressed against his neck when the swordsman grabs his foot before he can pull his leg back and before Sanji can blink, Zoro has twisted Sanji's leg around his neck, and then body slammed against the floor. The milliseconds Sanji lays there dazed, Zoro gets Sanji into a submission, sitting on Sanji's stomach, curling his fist around Sanji's arm, pulling it down at an odd angle.

It doesn't really hurt.

"Shit, how fucking flexible are you?"

"Very."

Sanji lifts his legs and wraps them around Zoro's neck. He thrusts upwards and Zoro freezes, caught off-guard. The cook takes this as an opportunity to make space between him and the floor, shift to the side, and with his legs still wrapped around Zoro's head, and slam his head down against the dojo mat.

Zoro blinks several times, dazed, but Sanji isn't done. He readjusts the way his legs are, now that he can be more mobile and Zoro chokes.

"How the fuck are you doing a choke holding with your legs?" It's raspy, mainly because Sanji is putting pressure on Zoro's windpipe.

"Do you yield?"

Zoro pushes against Sanji's legs, the tight hold Sanji has managed to capture him into loosens, and he slips out, but Sanji kicks him in the forehead. Zoro teeters backward but doesn't fall. He grabs Sanji's ankle and forces his leg to bend when suddenly Zoro changes his mind.

He wraps his legs around Sanji's, and caught off guard, Sanji freezes. Zoro manages to crawl his way up Sanji's chest, with their legs too entangled to do much, and Zoro gets him into a choke hold.

"You a cuddler?" Sanji hisses out, trying to breathe.

"When I feel like it," Zoro says with a shrug.

Sanji pushes against Zoro, and though the man tenses, he doesn't let go. Sanji will have to use his hands to get out of this one, they both know it, but they also both know Sanji will never endanger his hands like that. It's too easy to break something as fragile as fingers, especially when your opponent is Roronoa Zoro.

Sanji tries to headbutt him, but Zoro holds strong.

"What do you say, eh, Curly Brow?"

"Fucker, let me go."

"I don't think I will."

Sanji struggles against him, but Zoro's chest feels like a brick wall. Nothing is giving. "You're a bastard, anyone ever told you?"

"Once or twice," Zoro shrugs. "So?"

"Eat shit."

"Wrong answer, sorry."

He doesn't sound very sorry.

Sanji squirms, rubbing up against Zoro's torso. He tries to catch him off guard again, but it doesn't seem to be a move that can be pulled twice. So instead, Sanji just squeezes his legs, even tighter, hoping Zoro will give into the pain.

"Okay, I'll strike you a deal," Zoro compromises.

"What kind of deal?"

The Marimo's grip has loosened slightly, not enough for Sanji to break free, but enough for him to feel like he can breathe comfortably.

"You tell me what's got you all fired up, and I'll let you go."

Sanji scoffs. "You're a terrible negotiator."

"Or I could ask you for a kiss?"

The blond shivers, Zoro's words whispered into his ear, eliciting an autonomous reaction out of him. He doesn't think about it, he just wants to get out of this predicament. "I …"

"Hmm?"

Zoro's arms loosen, he now rests his chin comfortably on Sanji's shoulder, and if this were anyone else, Sanji would say he was flirting with him. It was a lot more brutish than Sanji would've done, but of course, that can't be helped, it is Zoro. But Zoro has the sex drive of an asexual reproducing plant. Sanji's pretty sure Zoro can't even feel attraction, never mind where that attraction is directed.

"It was the tagger."

Sanji turns his head slightly and is able to see Zoro on his shoulder, frowning slightly. He crinkles his nose for a moment, something in his eyes that Sanji can't identify flashing briefly before it's gone. "The tagger?"

"Yeah."

"What, they do something again?"

"Would I be talking about them if they hadn't?"

"Fair point." Zoro hums in agreement. "So what did they do this time?"

"They put another stupid fucking picture that doesn't make any sense," Sanji huffs. "It was like … some guy getting like judo flipped by some girl. The dude only had one eye, don't have the slightest idea why."

"How'd you know it was a girl?"

"I think the pointy triangles were supposed to be her … assets?"

Zoro chuckles. It warms Sanji in a way he doesn't want to think about. "Oh come on, Mr Charmer, you're telling me you can't even say the word 'boobs'?"

"It's demeaning," Sanji says, turning red.

"Fine, then call them tits."

"That's even worse!"

"Say it," Zoro challenges. "Say tits. I will accept hooters, honkers, or milk balls of flesh."

"You are so disgusting," Sanji says, leaning back against Zoro's chest, giving him a glare.

"Say it."

"Are you six?"

"You still haven't said it … so I guess I'll up the ante. If you don't say tits, or some other deviation of it, then I will also make you say something like pussy, or cunt or-"

"Bosom."

Zoro blinks.

"Did you just-"

Sanji is a tomato.

"You really are chivalrous, aren't you?" Zoro laughs. Sanji feels it against his back, the way Zoro shakes slightly and trembles. "Kami, are you some kind of blushing virgin or something?"

"Shut up, Marimo,-"

"I mean do girls actually like that shit? I bet you can't even say breast. When you order a chicken, do you order a chicken bosom?"

"It's not like you actually know how to get girls," Sanji snaps.

"Oh yes, teach me, oh Great One," Zoro says, batting his eyelashes. So close to him, Sanji can see each one, and they're surprisingly long.

"You have an eyelash," he says, his voice dropping in volume. Reaching up slowly, the cook takes the long eyelash out of Zoro's way.

"You could've poked out my eye," Zoro grumbles, but it all seems very lighthearted.

Sanji is about to flick it off his finger when Zoro grabs his wrist.

"What, I don't get a wish?"

"A wish?"

"You know, eyelash wishes."

"That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Look, will you let me make my wish or not?"

Sanji rolls his eyes, but he nods. "Make it quick."

"Hey, don't rush me, I gotta make it good."

Zoro closes his eyes and Sanji sees his face so close, his skin is rough but looks a lot less rough than he would assume. His earrings sway slightly, chiming softly. There's no hint of stubble on his face.

Zoro leans closer and blows at the eyelash on Sanji's finger. When he opens his eyes slowly, Sanji is struck by how grey his eyes are. They remind him of a storm, dark and fierce, but they're also like steel, strong and bold.

Is Zoro getting … closer?

Sanji's phone falls off one of the benches, vibrating.

It's then that Sanji realizes that he's been sitting in Zoro's lap for the past while for no good reason. During their talk, Zoro had untangled their legs and now there was no reason for Sanji to be in his lap. The blond scrambled away from the swordsman, taking his phone in hand.

It's Zeff.

By the time Sanji hangs up, after being yelled at for suddenly disappearing during his shift, Zoro has stood up, slung his bag over his shoulder and is waving him goodbye.

Weird.

Sanji decides not to dwell on it.

iii. a sleeping man

Sometimes Sanji can admit he worries about Zoro.

For instance, when they make plans to see each other once Zoro gets off work and when Sanji comes around his apartment to make sure he makes good on his promise -because the damn tagger strikes again and Sanji is sick of it, dammit, the Baratie is private property and he has to rant-, and he finds Zoro passed out on his couch.

The swordsman is spread out across the cushions, still dressed in his work-out clothes. There are pit stains on his shirt and his feet stink after working barefoot on a mat for hours. Sanji can imagine how he came home.

After a day of work, Zoro lumbers home, kicks off his shoes and starts the TV to relax for a bit, and promptly falls asleep. The cooking channel is playing, which Sanji has to find hilarious because Zoro is the king of takeout.

The blond sighs. Marimo can be so gross. It kinda feels like Sanji owns his own marimo, but he knows it'd be less maintenance than Zoro.

Why didn't he jump into a shower? Unless he'd fall asleep in the shower … yeah, he'd probably do that.

Sanji can't tell whether or not he's grateful that Zoro hasn't showered. While it smells disgusting, he can't imagine how he'd have dealt with a passed out, naked Zoro. Leave his drinking buddies to deal with him when he's like that.

The apartment itself is a mess, with clothes strewn about and a trail of crumbs leading to the couch. The cook wrinkles his nose in distaste. He's not sure how Zoro manages to live on his own, even Chopper and Usopp share an apartment together, Nami and Luffy have moved in together, and Robin is probably the only one of his friends he can trust to be independent. Brooke and Franky have joined together to create one of the noisiest households; Brooke is always playing violin, Franky is always tinkering, and then Brooke is yelling he can't hear his music over Franky's welding and Franky can't concentrate with Brooke's music.

Sanji grumbles to himself and begins to pick up the mess, putting the dirty clothes into a bag, and writing laundry on it, before he moves to the kitchen and nearly cries when he sees how barren the shelves are.

No human being can live in these kinds of conditions.

Sanji knows Zoro doesn't get the greatest pay, but he has to pay rent, and probably indulges more in his alcoholism than anything else, which would explain the reason he only owns so many clothes.

Once Sanji has organized what little is in Zoro's fridge and cabinets, he writes a grocery list. He knows Zoro won't feed himself, but if he just asked, Sanji could probably make him something, or he could stop by the Baratie and Sanji could cook something up for him.

Once Sanji has cleared the entirety of the living room, he sees Zoro's gym bag. It's the only thing that hasn't been aggressively thrown around. Figures. Knowing Zoro, he probably has his swords in there and those are the only things he treats with any hint of care.

Sanji sits on Zoro's coffee table, staring at the sleeping swordsman. He is really gross, but there's no mistaking that Zoro is handsome. He has a wide forehead which Sanji will make fun of him for, but his eyes are always so focused and serious. He rarely smiles, but his resting face has this neutral seriousness. It's not exactly inviting and some would argue that it's intimidating and scary, but then Zoro will open his mouth and you'll realize that he won't hurt anyone, so long as they don't give him a reason to. His hands are calloused from working with swords all day long, and he's muscular, but he's not bulky.

Sanji turns off the TV and sighs. Well, he supposes he has no other option than to just wait.

It's strange. If he tilts his head a bit, Zoro kinda looks like the figure in the graffiti.

Today Sanji was greeted with the image of a sleeping man. They were laid out on their back, staring at the ceiling, or, Sanji supposes, the sky, his arms, and legs spread out, a little bubble indicating they were snoring. Like the fight scene, the man laying down had been a silhouette without any defining features.

If Sanji really thinks about the vandalism on his wall, he's stopped thinking of it as vandalism. It really is pretty, he can admit that much. The detail and intricacy of the compass aside (Sanji still hasn't figured out why it won't point north), the fight scene had looked as if it was in motion, so fluid and perfectly executed. The sleeping man was simple but effective. The shadows made it draw your attention.

In the corner of each addition to the wall, there was a signature. The mark of a tagger. The ones who signed their art with a fake name, just to take credit, even slightly. It was a jolly roger that had three swords, two replacing the crossbones and one in the skull's mouth, a bandana around the skull's head.

Maybe if Sanji asked, Zoro could tell him a bit about the swords? They were very nicely decorated, despite the fact that they were pretty small in comparison to the images. The images went around in a semi-circular fashion, which made them spread out and Sanji couldn't tell if that irritated him more than if they were just all clumped together.

The blond eyes the gym bag, and pulls it towards him. He unzips the bag and sees three swords. Sanji has always known that Zoro likes to collect swords, but carrying around three with him at a time? That's a bit of overkill.

He pulls them closer to him when suddenly Zoro reaches out and grabs him.

Sanji freezes.

"Let. Go."

Sanji drops the swords.

The blond watches as Zoro sits up slowly and rears his head at him. "Oh." He frowns. "When did you get here?"

"We were supposed to be going out?"

Zoro's brow furrows. "What?"

"With Luffy? A while ago?"

"Oh." Zoro nods, his jaw clenched.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing."

It doesn't sound like nothing, but Sanji drops it.

Zoro twists on the couch and frowns. "What … happened around here?"

"I cleaned up."

"You … but the room …"

"Yeah, that's what the floor looks like, Marimo," Sanji says, rolling his eyes. "I feel like a maid, clean up your own shit next time."

Sanji looks around the room and frowns. "Your kitchen is disgusting, buy some actual groceries. All you have in there is beer. Are you hungover again?"

"I am not," Zoro snaps.

"It's three in the afternoon."

Sanji wonders if his nervous tone gives him away. He'll die before he lets Zoro know that he worries about him sometimes. It's hard to have a friend like Zoro, who never seems to take care of himself. Sanji is pretty sure he's going to die of alcohol poisoning or liver failure and he'll be damned if the Marimo ever finds out, but he'd miss him.

"Worried about me, Curlicue?"

"Like hell I am," Sanji rolls his eyes, lighting up a new cigarette.

"Oi, you'll set off the smoke alarm," Zoro snaps. "I will not have the landlord on my back because of your stupid habit, you hear me?"

Sanji sighs and puts out the cigarette on the coffee table full of soya sauce stains. "Whatever, don't get your kimono in a twist."

Zoro scoffs. "Whatever. Let's go-"

"We're late, the movie is over, Luffy is probably making out with Nami."

"I don't even believe that boy has hormones."

"Yeah well, apparently he does. He isn't very subtle, is he?"

"I mean no, he's not but still …"

"Come on, get off your fucking ass, the least you can do is treat me to something."

"As if you're not going to complain about the food?" Zoro snorts. "You are the fucking pickiest eater ever-"

"I'm sorry if I have refined taste buds-"

"You'll have no tastebuds if you keep smoking away like a chimney!"

"You're just jealous I have better taste than you-"

"You're such a snobbish cook, and you're not even a good one-"

"I'm a chef, asshole, and I'm sorry if I can make a better sashimi in my sleep than the pathetic excuse for a meal some restaurants dish out!"

"If you were some kind of food critic, you'd run so many people out of business," Zoro says. "You're just way too picky-"

"You eat anything and everything, like the animal you are!" Sanji crosses his arms and taps his foot. "If you keep making quips about me, I'll make you unredeemable."

"Oh dear, what will I do then?"

"You better treat me to something, like fucking … you owe me a movie and a meal! You've offended me, so now you have to do both!"

"Haven't we just gone over how you'd hate anything you get served anyway?"

"It's about the principle!"

"It's a fucking stupid principle!"

Sanji throws his hands up. "Whatever, you know what? I don't care. Just sort yourself out, figure out how to not live in your own piles of shit, and get back to me when you have more dishes than takeout Tupperware, and then we'll talk. It's not like you can afford to take me out on a date anyway."

"D-date?"

Did Zoro just choke?

"I mean figuratively," Sanji says. He stops and stares at Zoro. Why's he so tense? "You okay?"

Zoro swallows. "Yeah, I'm fine, what makes you think I'm not?"

"Um, the way you just freaked out?"

"It's nothing, those cigarettes are messing with your head, Shitty Cook."

Sanji lets it go.

iv. a cheap pack of beer

"ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOORO!"

Shit.

Zoro jumps to attention, nearly tripping over himself as he races for the doorknob to his apartment. Sanji never calls him Zoro, and furthermore, never like that. Zoro shakes his head. He can't think dirty thoughts, that's bad, something has happened to Sanji that he thinks it's okay to call Zoro by his first name (it's more than okay, but Sanji sure as hell doesn't know that).

When he opens the door, he sees the blond leaning against the doorway with a stupid smile on his face.

Double shit.

"You're drunk."

"Meeeeee?" Sanji laughs and it sends shivers down Zoro's spine, but he forces them down. He's gotten very good at this. "Am not!" Sanji holds up a pack of beer and grins. "But I plan to be!"

It almost happens in slow motion, the way Sanji leans forward and tumbles into Zoro's arms, his balance completely thrown off. His legs drag behind him and my God they go on for miles and miles and miles and- Focus, Zoro. The heavy can of beer smacks against Zoro's side, but he ignores it.

Zoro places his arms underneath Sanji's armpits and drags him forward, closing the apartment door behind him using his foot. Sanji follows his movements like a corpse, giggling excessively. Sanji is too much of a lightweight to be trusted.

"How much have you had to drink?"

Sanji holds up two fingers and laughs. "Only five!"

Zoro rolls his eyes and plops Sanji onto his couch. He paces, unsure of what to do with a drunk Sanji on his hands. Sanji isn't much of a drinker, at most he has that fancy champagne, that's about the most Zoro knows. So he's not quite sure why he's like this.

"Oi, what made you get plastered?"

"Hmm?" Sanji laughs and one of these days, that sound is going to kill Zoro, he swears. "Oh, blame Tag."

"Tag?"

"Like it? I came up with it. It's like a game of tag anyway, I think they'd appreciate my creativity!" Sanji's words are slurring together at an alarming rate. Zoro takes a seat on his coffee table, feeling like Freud. "Tag. You're it!" Sanji bursts out into giggles. It feels … wrong, to hear Sanji giggle.

"Yeah, you're a mastermind," Zoro deadpans. "Look, how about you tell me a bit more?"

"Eh … I saw the latest addition. Did you know they don't put them on the fucking wall properly? They're like … in a circle. It's fucking annoying."

Zoro chuckles to himself. "Oh yeah?"

"So fucking annoying," Sanji repeats. "What was I talking about again?"

"The tagger?"

"Oh right!" Sanji raises the pack of beer into the air, reminding Zoro of the rasing of that lion in that one movie that made Sanji cry. "Tag! He's such an asshole! I think he's a he? Maybe? I dunno, don't wanna be sexist, girls can fuck up my life too, equal opportunity and all that crap."

"Right …"

"Anyway, it has this cheap ass pack of beer, and like, it didn't look cheap, cause it was like so well done! SOOOO well done, I kinda felt tempted to have it, so I ended up buying some." Sanji points to the beer with one hand, but the imbalance of weight makes it fall and it lands on the ground, crashing against Zoro's foot. He holds in a wince.

"It's cheap as hell, but damn is it strong!"

"Did you drink a whole pack before this?"

"Maaaaybeeeee …"

He'll take that as a yes.

Sanji hiccups.

Zoro wants to die.

"So I've been thinking, s'not fair."

"What's not fair?"

"It's so good! The fucking art is so fucking pretty it's not fucking fair, cuz like I want to hate it, but it's too fucking pretty, like how you're so fucking hot and I want to hate you for it but like, I can't because you're too fucking hot to hate!" Sanji moans, covering his face with his arm.

Zoro chuckles to himself.

"I'm hot?"

Sanji freezes and takes his arm away. He leans forward way too much for Zoro's liking, and quite frankly, Zoro is kinda concerned about the way Sanji's wrapped his leg around the foot of the table to keep his balance. "Psst!" Sanji giggles and he reeks of alcohol and Zoro finds it adorable, but also kind of disturbing. "Don't tell Zoro!"

"Aaaaand you're wayyy too drunk," Zoro says, standing up when Sanji pulls him back down, wrapping his hand around in the fabric of Zoro's shirt.

"Stay!"

Fuck, he's too cute for him.

Zoro grumbles and shakes his head. "You really need water, or else you'll be feeling this in the morning."

"WAIT!"

Sanji's loud voice is startling to Zoro, and apparently to Sanji who giggles. "I scared myself!" he grins. "Before you go," Sanji says, "tell me something, kay, tell me something Zoro, will ya?"

"What do you want to know?" Zoro asks, trying to figure out how to slip away without Sanji's noticing.

"What do you think of men like … sexually?"

Zoro chokes.

"What?" he croaks.

"Do you like … have you ever thought of men in like … that way?"

Zoro stares at the blond spread out on his couch with his tie half-undone, his buttons mostly popped open, his sleeves rolled up, smoking a cigarette. His long legs tangle themselves in each other and he's looking at Zoro with those eyes of his, the ones that always strike fear in Zoro's heart because every time Sanji sets his eyes on him like that, he feels like he just knows, he must know, and Zoro must be so fucking obvious-

Fuck me.

"You need to go to sleep."

Sanji shakes his head and frowns. "No, no wait, cause like I've been thinking about like … it wouldn't be that bad if like, the tagger was a guy. Cause I hear like hate sex is like, the best sex ever, and I mean I think it might be hot, to have angry hate sex with him," Sanji says. His head lollies in a way that makes Zoro worried for his neck. "I think hate sex with him would be like, amazing, mind-blowing, like pass out from the orgasm type of thing. I mean, like, I heard some people can actually black out from one of those things. Adds an element of danger, don't ya think?" Sanji hums thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think if Tag was a guy, I'd hate fuck him."

Zoro is dying. Someone smite him now. This isn't healthy for him.

"Hey, Zoro?" Sanji says. "I wanna just try something-"

"What are-"

"Shush Marimo, no talking," Sanji says with a giggle, and he grabs Zoro's shirt and pulls him in for a kiss.

It's messy as hell. Sanji doesn't know what he's doing, like he's never kissed someone before. He tastes like alcohol, his tongue is invading Zoro's mouth and the swordsman is pretty sure Sanji is literally trying to drown him in his saliva. The blond grabbed some of Zoro's skin when pulling at his shirt so there's a pain in his chest, but it's numb in comparison to the way their faces smack against each other and their teeth knock and Sanji bites his lip and Zoro is pretty sure he's bleeding now, and Sanji's other hand is groping Zoro's ass and Zoro is trying to slow it down because he doesn't know when on Earth something like this is going to happen again, or if it ever will, and then Sanji is making a weird noise and Zoro pushes him away.

"BREATHE, IDIOT!"

Sanji's blue in the face, and he looks lightheaded, but he's smiling a lot. He grins. "Hmm … might not be bad if I had to hate fuck you," Sanji says contemplatively. "I mean I don't hate you, so it's not true hate fucking, is it?" He sighs. "I was really looking forward to rough hate sex, guess I'll settle for like semi-hate sex …" he laughs. "What am I saying? You're not the tagger! Never mind, full-on hate sex is still gonna happen! Hey Zoro, how do I make myself fuckable?"

Zoro gulps.

Is God testing him? Is this punishment for never believing in Him?

"Nothing, you're perfect."

"You're my frenemy, you have to say that," Sanji laughs, his neck exposed and Zoro clenches his fist because he will not do something stupid like take advantage of him but after the past few weeks, Zoro feels like he's been the one taken advantage of and he's just sat there and taken it because it's Sanji and it's pathetic the way he is around him.

"Sanji …" Zoro lets the name slip. He never calls him Sanji, never to his face because he just knows that saying his name reveals way too much, he'd be able to tell in an instant and Zoro isn't ready to deal with that yet (can't ever deal with it really). He frowns, his forehead throbbing. He's not going to remember this. "I ... " Zoro shuts his eyes tightly, he can't stand to see Sanji's face, even in his drunken state, when he says it. "I never lie when I'm around you. I just … you think I'm hot?" Zoro chuckles, but it almost sounds like a sob and it's not because he's sad, because Zoro has never felt sorry for himself, he's just so fucking frustrated, he can't even … "You're fucking beautiful, and Christ, I know it's wrong to say it but … I'm glad no one's realized it yet. But when someone does, I really wish you knew that I've always known, I saw it first, but I know that doesn't mean shit to you … because you don't care, do you? You don't care as much as I do and I wish I could care less, but I can't and it's all your fucking fault, you bastard! I hate you, I hate you so fucking much, for doing this to me. Because I can't even hate you properly, you bastard. I can't even …" Zoro breathes in deeply. "Fuck this, I love you, and if you don't love me, too fucking bad, I can't change it, trust me I've tried, and you won't even fucking remember this, will you?"

Zoro opens his eyes.

Of course the asshole is asleep.

Sanji's head is killing him.

Nothing around him is familiar, he's not in his room, where the fuck is he? He sits up but it's too fast. Holding his head, he turns and tries to identify where he is. There's a glass of water and some painkillers. He takes them without question.

Slowly he walks into the living room to see Zoro standing at the counter with eggs made. "Bout time you woke up, Curly Brow."

"Not so loud …"

"Now you know what it's like to have a hangover, congratulations on finally hitting the hard liquor," Zoro muses.

"I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"

"Define stupid," Zoro says. He's tense. Why?

"Like, I didn't tell you about how … I secretly give the ladies more on their appetizers than I should?"

"My God, your definition of embarrassing and mine are so different. You are such a boring drunk, let me tell you," Zoro says, rolling his eyes. The tension leaves his shoulders and Sanji's almost certain he imagined it.

"You didn't prank me while I slept, did you?"

"What, like draw a mustache on your face? You look weird enough without my help."

"Thanks," Sanji says dryly. "I'm gonna go and get myself sorted out. I'll see you later."

Zoro nods, stiff.

Sanji puts on his jacket, lights up a cigarette and leaves, without looking back.

v. an empty wallet

Sanji has had it.

He's not sure why the empty, flimsy wallet (again, infuriatingly well made) has set him off, (no, he knows why, because he can't stand looking at it and all the others and not call it art anymore and it ruins his morals) but it has and Sanji is ready to take a paint brush to the brick and get rid of it.

He marches into the paint shop, the bell ringing pleasantly above him. The guy behind the cash smiles at him, but once he sees Sanji's expression, he seems to hide into his own body, recoiling.

Sanji doesn't need his approval.

He stares at the rows and rows of paint, clicking his tongue. He saw the no-smoking sign, and without a cigarette to crush underneath his fingertips, he feels even more aggravated. He bends down and stares at the paint cans.

The Baratie has a red wall, but Sanji has never really thought about it in specifics. He's never really looked at it that much, the wall is red, the same way Zoro has green hair. Sanji doesn't dwell on the little things. But he doesn't know which shade it is. There should never be so many shades of red.

"Oi, employee!" Sanji calls, waving at the man behind the cash.

"Me?" the man chokes.

"You see anyone else?" Sanji snaps, gesturing towards the rather vacant shop.

The man rushes around from the cash to Sanji and salutes him. Sanji frowns. "What are you doing?"

"Reporting in, sir!"

"Don't do that, it's weird," Sanji says. "Look at these paints. You ever been to the Baratie?"

The employee nods, his brow sweating profusely. "Once, for my sis' engagement party-"

"Great story, can you tell me which one of these reds is most like it?" Sanji cuts him off. He doesn't have a lot of time, going on his break and such.

"I only went once, two years ago-"

"So you can't help me?"

"I can try and remember, but the thing is-"

"I'm short on time, can you hurry it up a bit?"

"See, the thing is-"

Sanji's phone rings.

"Hold that thought," Sanji says, taking out his phone.

"Where are you?"

Sanji blinks. "Marimo?"

"I was actually on time, for once,-"

"I call bullshit on that," Sanji says with a scoff.

There's a pause. "Okay, I was like thirteen minutes later, but that's a new record. Where are you?"

"Doesn't really matter," Sanji says, putting his phone in the dip of his shoulder, trying to hold it using his ear. He turns to the employee again, who looks like he's trembling. Oh, maybe Sanji could be more polite … "What are you doing, calling me?"

"Trying to figure out where you are, the old man told me you just up and ran out when your break started," Zoro says. He sounds pretty pissed. "Don't tell me you've done something stupid like tried to raid a sword store to cut up that tagger-"

"Oh please, I'm not you," Sanji says, rolling his eyes. "If you must know, I'm in a paint shop-"

"Why are you at a paint shop?"

"I've had enough of their shit. I'm gonna cover it up. You know the most annoying thing is it's not like a big mural, there's a bunch of small pictures that are all weird and spread out, with this gaping hole in the middle."

"Maybe they're building up to something."

"Yeah, whatever. The shop's in Lvneel, think you can find it?"

"Look outside."

Sanji slowly turns around to see Zoro in the store window, waving at him, a coffee in his hand. The cook rolls his eyes. "Stalker much?" he asks into his phone.

Zoro hangs up on him and enters the store. He gives Sanji a strange look, glancing between Sanji and the employee. "You're asking Kyousuke for help with paint colors?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Kyousuke's color blind."

Sanji turns to the employee who looks ready to soil his pants. "You are?"

"Y-yeah …"

"Why didn't you say that before?"

"You probably terrified him," Zoro says, rolling his eyes. "Kyou, you can go back to the cash, I'll handle him."

Sanji watches as Kyousuke practically runs to the counter and bars himself behind it.

"He could've mentioned it sooner," the cook grumbles.

"Yeah, like you gave him a chance to speak?" Zoro scoffs. "If you're looking for the Baratie's color, it's a cherry red." Zoro drops to his knees and pulls a paint can off the shelf. "You don't even know what kind of shade of red your wall is. That's sad."

"Are you an interior decorator or something, that you know this stuff? And how did you know that guy's name?" Sanji can feel himself losing his anger. He's letting it go, and it might have to do with Zoro, but he'll say it's because the intensity seems to have decreased.

"I uh …" Zoro shakes his head. "Doesn't really matter. Anyway, you'll need like, three cans to cover the stuff the tagger did."

Sanji has more questions, but he doesn't voice any of them. He doesn't know what will happen if he continues this line of questioning if Zoro will crumble under the pressure or something, so he keeps it to himself because the swordsman looks a bit pent-up.

"I'll pay for it," Zoro says, "and here's your coffee," he adds, holding out the black coffee to Sanji.

"You don't have to do that-"

"I want to," Zoro says with a shrug. He goes up to the cash and Sanji follows behind him, not sure what to do with himself as Zoro walks around the store with a familiarity that seems strange to Sanji.

"That'll be 45 00 yen," says Kyousuke, who seems to have relaxed since Zoro has entered the shop.

There's silence.

"You don't have enough, do you?"

"I do too," says Zoro.

"Your face says everything, you so do not have enough," Sanji says. "It's fine, I'll pay for it-"

"I would be able to pay for it if your coffee wasn't so fucking expensive-"

"My coffee is like 700 yen," Sanji says with an eye roll.

"Split it, I can split it," Zoro says, his face turning red and Sanji isn't sure if it's because he's angry or flustered. "I can pay half."

"Can you?"

Zoro cannot.

He can pay about one-third, and he's very bitter about it.

Sanji thinks it's hilarious.

vi. a wrong math equation

"Oi, what are you doing back here, Marimo?" Sanji demands. His hands are too occupied with the onions he's slicing, but he wishes he could grab the scruff of Zoro's shirt and pull him back before he does something stupid.

The busy and crowded kitchen of the Baratie is the worst place on Earth for a man like Roronoa Zoro, who is about as graceful as an elephant on rollerblades when he's not fighting. Sanji finds it kind of funny even, that Zoro has such grace only when violence is around him, yet it's also very fitting.

"Just thought I'd drop by-"

"Are you touching something?" Sanji demands. He throws the onions into the soup and begins stirring the pot. He can't afford to look away while he's making it.

"Don't trust me, cook?"

"Are. You. Touching. Something?"

"No …"

"Drop it."

There's a klank.

"Were you playing with the ladle again?" Sanji groans. "Now I have to disinfect it. I don't have time for this, you know it's the rush hour-"

"Disinfect it? Am I diseased to you or something?"

"Might as well be," Sanji mutters. He lowers the setting on the stove and throws a dish towel at Zoro. "Wash it. And then don't touch anything else, this isn't a petting zoo, it's where I work."

"Maybe I can help?" Zoro asks, staring at the rag in disgust.

Sanji turns back to the stove. "Mr Take Out? I don't think so. Just stand in the corner and-"

CRASH!

"Oops …"

The cook is going to strangle the swordsman, and he's going to do it with gloves on and no one will be able to lift prints off of his neck, and then he can continue on with his life as if there isn't a dead body on the floor.

Sanji grabs a cook-in-training, Taijo. He looks kind of cute, with his too large hat that falls into his eyes. "Grab a stool and look over the stove," Sanji instructs him.

"Sir! Yes sir!" the kid salutes.

What is it with people and saluting? Sanji shakes his head and strides over to the swordsman who is staring at the counter. "Tell me you didn't touch the spice rack."

"Spice rack?"

"The rack with all the little containers that have small labels on them next to the second stove?"

"Oh, that's what that was …"

Sanji pinches his nose and breathes deeply. "How many times have I told you not to visit me at work?" The cigarette grinds between his teeth and he growls. "When we take inventory of how much of the spices we use, I'll let the old fart know it's your fault we're short. Why are you here, and when will you leave?" Sanji pushes Zoro in the hip for him to get out of his way as he begins to clean up the spices, wincing. The smell is strong, certain spices are not meant to be mixed together and they're meant to be a dressing of sorts, without much application.

"I can help-"

"I think you've done enough."

Zoro takes a step back, as though he's been hit. "You don't have to be an asshole about it-"

"Are you paying for the ingredients?" Sanji snaps back. He glances back at Zoro, who is fuming, but he's containing it, probably so as not to cause any more damage to his surroundings. "Never mind. What was so important you couldn't wait for my break?"

"It doesn't matter," Zoro says, turning up his chin.

"Now you're acting like a child."

"Am not."

"Luffy is more mature than you-"

"Hey!"

Sanji grins, unable to help himself. Zoro is just so predictable sometimes.

"Look, I'm all ears, if you want right now," the blond says. "I mean, a few minutes off, it's close to my break anyway, the old man won't mind too much."

Zoro bites his lip. He looks nervous, which is weird, considering it's Zoro.

"Don't get shy on me now, Marimo," Sanji teases lightly, kicking him in the shin lightly.

Zoro is silent.

That's strange.

Normally Zoro makes remarks about how Sanji has legs of steel that are sure to destroy Zoro's bones some day, or something equally dramatic. Now, nothing? Sanji frowns.

"Oi, Carne, I'm going out for a second-"

"Don't think just cause you're the assistant you can slack off-"

"Yada yada yada, I can change your pay!" Sanji screams back, guiding Zoro into the back room behind the kitchen. He closes the door and the loud cooking sounds are muffled.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Sanji raises an eyebrow. "You can do better than that."

"Worried, ero-cook?"

Yeah, I am.

Sanji will never admit it, not even when tortured, but Zoro is Sanji's best friend. He doesn't know why, it doesn't really make any sense, they clash on so many levels. Zoro is a brute with no sense of direction and a disrespect for women (though he claims he's a feminist), and Sanji is a chivalrous man with a strong moral code. They're always fighting over something or another and at their most civil, they throw insults because it's just the way they work. It'd be weird if they weren't constantly at each other's necks, but Sanji can admit he's memorized all of Zoro's allergies, and his likes when it comes to food and he's learned to read the small changes in Zoro's expression to know just how much he can push him before he should back off. Nothing ever seems to get to Zoro and he's been acting weird recently. Whatever it is that's made the invincible Roronoa Zoro hesitate is a big deal and Sanji isn't going to let it go. Not this time.

"Honestly? A bit."

Zoro looks up in confusion. He has his bandana wrapped around his bicep, which means he's come from the dojo. "You sick, Shit Cook?"

"Shut up," Sanji says. He nudges Zoro's leg again. "Next time you look away, I'm going to kick your chin up. Are you four?"

Zoro raises his gaze to Sanji, his grey eyes focused and sharp suddenly. It's like he's hardened his resolve. "Your tolerance is shit."

"What?"

"Your alcohol tolerance is shit," Zoro repeats. "I don't know why you thought it'd be a good idea to drink a whole pack of beer, and you didn't drive over to my apartment, did you?"

"Wait a minute, I thought we were talking about you, how did this become about me?" Sanji asks, raising an eyebrow. "You're not making any sense, Marimo." Did that last word sound affectionate? It might've, by accident. Sanji'll deny it.

Zoro grunts, running his fingers through his hair. "I … look you do stupid shit when you get drunk, and-"

"I thought you said I didn't do anything-"

"Well, I've been thinking about it and decided you did do something stupid-"

"What, it just became stupid the longer you thought about it? Anything sounds stupid if you overthink it!"

Zoro bites the inside of his cheek. "Never mind, I shouldn't be here."

"Oi, don't start something if you don't plan on finishing it," Sanji snaps. "I'm here to listen, so talk."

The swordsman is quiet. He plays with the bandana on his bicep a bit.

"OI, WHERE'D EGGPLANT GO?!"

Zoro nods to the door. "I think your boss wants you."

"Lots of people want me, right now I want you," Sanji says.

Wait. Shit. I could've said that differently.

Zoro turns his head away, his cheeks darkening. Is he blushing? "You should probably go-"

"Tough shit, the old man can wait, you're more important to me."

"Bastard, don't just say shit-"

"Well clearly I have to because getting you to talk is like fucking churning butter, it takes so long!" Sanji sighs, leaning against the door. He takes a deep breath in, tasting the nicotine on his tongue. Letting out a small puff of smoke, Sanji shakes his head. "You know what? Never mind. You don't want to talk? Then don't talk. But, you know my number, you know how to reach me."

Sanji's about to leave when Zoro clears his throat.

"Hmm?"

"Have you painted over it?"

Sanji frowns. "Painted over what?"

"The graffiti," says Zoro.

"Oh. That."

"Yeah, that," Zoro chuckles softly. The tension seems to leave the room.

"Ah. No, no I haven't."

This time Zoro frowns. "What do you mean? Thought the tagger was driving you insane."

"They put something else up today. 1 +1 = purple." The blond laughs. "I feel bad for them, they're so stupid."

Zoro rolls his eyes. "That's a stupid reason to keep it up."

Yeah well, the real reason is even stupider.

Sanji shrugs. "Whatever. Just get out of here, before the old man comes and murders you for disrupting work time."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Sanji watches Zoro go, before turning and exiting to the back alleyway of the Baratie.

It's been three months, the art (yes, art) is taking up more and more space, but there's a giant hole in the middle of it, as if they're building up to something major. Sanji stares at the now memorized signature, the jolly roger with the two swords for bones and the third sword in the skull's mouth. It's so detailed for a signature that's pretty small in comparison to the rest of the art.

Sanji raises his hand to the brick, feeling the rough texture beneath his fingers. He can't quite describe it, but the art's done something, it's dug itself deep inside of him, whenever he closes his eyes he can see it, and he doesn't know why it's there, but it's been etched onto the backs of his eyelids and he can't do anything about it.

He can say that the reason the art is still up is that he's too lazy to paint over it, or because there's not enough paint. He could say it's because he can't reach it at its highest point, or because he's pretty sure they tagger would just come back and go over it again. He could say it's because he wants to catch them while they're doing their work so he can give them a piece of his mind. He could say it's because he's been intrigued by them.

But the truth?

They're growing on him.

vii. dumbbells

Sanji wouldn't go as far as to say the art has begun to affect his schedule, except it totally has which is why when he walks into the dojo, ready to fight the only reason he has to give for his sudden urge to battle is that his wall has a new addition to it that looks like exercise.

"Fight me, shitty swordsman!" There's silence in the dojo. Sanji turns into a tomato. "Once you're finished with your teacher!" he adds quickly, running out of the dojo while Zoro stares at him in silence, his eyes screaming murder.

After a few minutes, Zoro's boss walks out of the dojo. Sanji forces himself to speak, despite the fact that he wants to sink into the ground. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to be rude-"

"You're Sanji?"

Sanji frowns. "Marimo talks about me?"

"Definitely Sanji." The man has a dark ponytail, and he's wearing glasses. Sanji feels uncomfortable as the man looks him up and down. "You're not much to look at …" He zeroes in on Sanji's cigarette. "And you've got horrendous habits …" The man clicks the inside of his cheek. "I suppose you'll do … though you don't look that intimidating, so I don't know what he's been going on about …"

Sanji is frozen as the man grabs him by the shoulder and forces him down to his level. Sanji tries not to cringe when the man breathes into his ear, "one wrong move and I'll have you murdered."

Sanji gulps.

"Have a nice day," says the man, his tone suddenly changing. He pats Sanji on the shoulder and waves goodbye, all while the cook tries to process what's just happened.

Zoro pokes his head out of the dojo and frowns. "Goddammit, did he say anything to you? If he did, ignore him, he's getting old, he doesn't know squat."

Sanji rolls his eyes. "Whatever. You up for a fight?"

"Aren't I always?"

The blond grins. Entering the dojo, he puts his jacket to the side and rolls up his sleeves.

"Oi, take your fucking shoes off," Zoro snaps.

"Scared?"

The swordsman scoffs. "I just don't want a concussion, I've had enough problems thanks to you and your legs, I don't need to be hospitalized."

Sanji smirks. "Is it possible you feel threatened?"

"Shoes, off," Zoro says. "And take off your socks. We're going to do this properly this time."

"Says you," Sanji snorts. "If we fight my way, I get to keep my shoes."

"You know savate is the only type of fighting that lets you wear shoes, right?" Zoro shakes his head. "Your legs are strong enough as it is, we'll be fighting judo style."

Sanji grins. "First time I've seen you in uniform … why don't you teach like this?"

"It's annoying," Zoro says. He's wearing the formal judo uniform in black (Sanji supposes it's because his teacher was coming by), but-

"Oi, there are locker rooms for that-"

"Shut up, Shit Cook, I'm just taking off the shirt," Zoro says. He ties the shirt around his waist and Sanji swallows.

Zoro works out a lot. And it's never been more obvious to Sanji.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"What? No," Sanji turns, keeping his head down. This is stupid. So Zoro is subjectively hot, that's nothing Sanji didn't know. Those piercings of his add something that Sanji can't name, but it's doing something weird to him that he doesn't want to think about too much. "Just fight me already, Marimo."

"As you wish."

Sanji readies himself and then they begin.

Zoro kicks, but Sanji blocks it with his own leg. The swordsman throws himself forward, but Sanji easily reads him and dodges, kicking upward into Zoro's stomach. The green-haired man lurches a bit, but as Sanji attempts to kick at his head, Zoro catches his leg in his hands and off-sets his balance.

Sanji tumbles forward, reaching out his hand to catch himself. His legs fly outward and strike Zoro in the chin, who tries to kick Sanji in the side, but the cook sidesteps and wraps one of his legs around Zoro's, pulling. The green haired man falls forward and Sanji sits on him. Zoro thrusts upwards and forces Sanji off, then he mounts his chest and goes in for a punch, but Sanji kicks Zoro in the head.

The swordsman grabs Sanji's shirt, the force the cook used to kick Zoro's head making them both lean to the side. Sanji presses his foot against Zoro's head, the metal of his earrings cold on Sanji's barefoot. Clenching his toes, Sanji pulls hard and Zoro winces as the blond pulls at the earrings. Zoro tries to move his head out, but Sanji continues pulling. As he tries to sit up straight, Zoro pushes him back down and Sanji loses his grip. Zoro gets him into a headlock, but Sanji traps Zoro's head in between his legs.

Zoro's breath is on Sanji's face, his sweat drops into Sanji's eye.

"Having trouble, Marimo?"

"None, you?" asks Zoro through gritted teeth, his face turning red as Sanji squeezes more. He loosens his grip on Sanji's neck to shove off his legs, but Sanji twists and then Zoro is caught between Sanji's thighs.

"How about now?" Sanji breathes heavily, winded from Zoro's tight grip on his neck.

"Is this some sort of weird ass sex act?" demands Zoro.

"Are you going to give?"

"Are you going to trust me this close to your dick?"

"Fair point …" Sanji squeezes his thighs together. "So give in quickly."

Zoro tries to bridge upwards to escape, but Sanji won't move. The swordsman grunts, tapping on Sanji's leg.

"Hmm? Did you say something, Marimo?"

There's silence, then-

"Did you just bite my fucking dick!?"

Zoro crawls out from under Sanji and wipes his mouth, rolling his eyes. "You wish, that was your thigh, you idiot. Do you not know your own anatomy?"

"Whatever, idiot," Sanji says, rolling his eyes. He puts back on his socks and shoes, slinging his jacket over his shoulder and lighting up a cigarette. "You wanna check out that new movie that came out last week?"

"Let me shower," Zoro says, using the wrinkled judo shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. "I'm gross."

"You're always gross."

Zoro gives him the middle finger as he walks into the showers.

Sanji sat on one of the small benches and looked around the dojo. When in doubt, you could almost always find Zoro here. It was also the only place Zoro knew how to get to without getting lost. Sanji snickers. It figures.

Zoro is such a girl about showers, Sanji figures he'll be a while. If Sanji didn't drag him out every few weeks, he's pretty sure he'd start to blend in with the algae growing in the locker room showers.

Sanji looks left and right, eyeing Zoro's duffel bag. Zoro's nowhere to be seen.

He grabs it and places it on the bench. Unzipping it, he finds swords inside. Three of them. One of them has a red hilt, Sanji's pretty sure it's called a saya? He can't be sure, he doesn't always listen when Zoro starts prattling on about his swords. His fingers trace the criss-cross pattern. It's very nice. The next sword has a black saya, and it looks older, more worn out, but at the same time, rarely used. The last one looks the newest, but also like it's been used the most. It has a white saya, and it's really white, polished and cleaned and everything.

The patterns on the saya look a bit familiar. Sanji frowns.

It can't be …

"Oi, Curlicue!"

Sanji jolts and the duffel bag falls off the bench.

Clank.

Sanji looks down at his feet.

Zoro pops his head into the dojo. "Don't burn down the place while I'm showering, alright- what are you … shit."

Sanji bends down and picks up the green spray paint. He turns it over in his hand. It feels light. Like it's almost empty.

"I can explain."

Sanji looks up at Zoro, his blue eyes meeting Zoro's grey ones.

Can you? Can you really?

Author's Note #2: So technically, some thank-yous in order!

ZeroRandomNumber: Heh ... This doesn't really solve your problem, does it?

villagernumber40: Tell me that's a reference to Haikyuu? Or not. Either way, the update has come, though not in the way you expected huh ...

Azurai Wolf: Heh ...

Coffee Fren: I uh, yeah, delayed response.

lilcutieprincess: Hey ... yeah no update for a while, but now I'm sort of back? starting slow. (she says as she writes a 12k story ...)

Megenehason ZOSAN-LAWLU LOVER: Heh ... Yup I'm back and writing, gonna take a month to write the second bit though ...

VeryFineAutumn4869: Yup, you read Tag and now Tag is different ... heh ...

IcyPolarBear2: Well it's a two-shot. Working on the 2nd bit.

lola51423: heh ... it's taken a while. Like a year while. And it's not part two but yeah ...

Carstairs-SuJuEXO: TELL ME THAT'S AN INFERNAL DEVICES REFERENCE WITH CARSTAIRS?! Sorry, anyway, uh ... here's a new part one?

Part two comes out next month! Tell me what you think of this new version of part 1!