Sig, Edgar and Norman all sat stock still staring at the girl writhing on the screen. She was dressed in a tank top, tasseled pants and a baseball hat. She yelled commands to the group of women behind her as she swiveled and wriggled through the dance moves. The pumping beat of reggaeton music surged and the group of women moved in a seamless herd at the command of the instructor.
"What the hell am I watching John?" asked Sig.
"Who cares, don't turn it off" said Edgar.
"This is your contest winner" said John.
"My what?" said Sig in disbelief.
"We talked about this last month at the 4th of July party" said John. "You agreed to allow a contest winner on your boat."
"What are you talking about. I would never agree to let a girl on the boat" said Sig.
"We talked about it at the party, it was towards the end of the night after you answered some fan questions. You said you'd be willing if it was for one trip and if you were in no way required to pay them for any of their work" explained John.
"Sig you were wasted at that party" said Norman.
"Even if I agreed to this, I would never approve a girl. No girls on the Northwestern that's our rule" said Sig.
"I didn't know we had that rule" said Edgar.
"Shut up Edgar" snapped Sig.
"Sig, the fact of the matter is that you agreed to this, we chose the winner as was our right and we've informed her. If you want to call her and tell her that you aren't willing to have her on your boat because she's a girl, then that's your prerogative, but I think it's an asshole thing to do to a very big fan" said John seriously.
"Why did you chose her?" asked Sig.
"Because she's physically fit, she's a former chef, she's a certified diver and she seemed like she wouldn't be too terrible to look at on screen" said John.
"Fine, since apparently I've already said yes. One trip and I want her to sign something that holds us completely not liable for any injury. And she has to have her own insurance" said Sig.
"No problem" said John scribbling down Sig's requests.
John stood up and went to get the video.
"Leave the tape, I want to study our newest deck hand" said Edgar with a smile.
"Fine. I'll talk to you guys later" said John.
Sig walked him to the door all but slamming it shut to prove how annoyed he was by the situation. As he walked back into the living room he saw that Edgar and Norman were watching the video in slow motion.
"Oh God, what have we gotten ourselves into" muttered Sig.
"This is completely on your shoulders, we never agreed to any of this" said Edgar.
"I honestly don't even remember having the conversation with John" admitted Sig.
"Time to stop drinking at company parties" said Norman.
"I wonder what her name is?" asked Sig. "I should certainly know who I'm going to be yelling at."
John drove back to the hotel with a ridiculously huge grin on his face. His plan had worked perfectly and had only taken a small amount of lying on his part. He thought back to how this plan had taken shape in the first place. He'd been talking to Thomas in the publicity department about the possibility of a fan contest, however they would need to completely vet the idea before actually putting a fan out on the ocean. That is how this plan was hatched, they would use one of the office staff to pose as a fan and try out how a regular person would fair on the bearing sea. John had selected the perfect phony fan, her name was Samantha and she had been his assistant for a time. She now worked cataloging the tapes sent back by the on boat producers for editing. Samantha was a great girl full of personality and John assumed that she watched a few of those tapes that she catalogued so she may very well be a fan of the show. Everything he'd told Sig was true, she was a former chef who'd worked in a well known restaurant in NYC, she was a certified diver and she was hot by anyone's standards. The next step to John's plan was telling Samantha about her new assignment, he hoped she was receptive. Thomas had said that he was worried about the guys recognizing her, so John was going to offer what he assumed would be any girls dream a makeover. He was flying back to LA tomorrow and would speak to Samantha as soon as possible. She would have just about two months to get ready for her new adventure. The possibility of Samantha saying no never even crossed his mind.
Samantha sat in John's office staring at her former boss like he'd just sprouted a second head. She could not believe the ridiculous plan that had just been laid out before her. John was still explaining how excited he was about Sig agreeing to take her on the boat.
"I don't want to go" said Samantha cutting John off mid sentence.
"What do you mean you don't want to go?" asked John in shock. "This is a chance of a lifetime, you could be the first girl to ever grace the decks of the Northwestern. You'll be making history."
"I see many problems with this plan" said Samantha. "Firstly, they have all met me before, so I seriously doubt they are going to believe that I'm a fan. Secondly, no fan would want to hurt the Northwestern's season by being inept on deck. Thirdly and most importantly I don't want to go."
"To address the first issue we are going to give you a makeover, I'd even be willing to spring for a boob job if that's what you want" said John.
Samantha looked horrified and John realized that he was probably off the hook for the plastic surgery.
"Next you won't be hindering the crew, you are a fast learner and even if you aren't the crew is there to catch the crab you are just there to observe and help if possible. As for your last concern I'm asking you to do this, we will pay you double what we pay you now for the time you are there, which is only for one trip which will probably be less than 2 weeks" finished John smugly.
"Believe it or not even after your impressive speech I still don't want to go" said Samantha.
"Samantha, I've already told them you are the winner, you have to go" said John seriously.
Samantha frowned angrily. She realized that she could fight all she wanted but she would be getting on the Northwestern if John had to drug her and toss her onto the deck himself.
"I want three times my salary" said Samantha.
"Done" said John. "Glad you changed your mind."
Samantha stared at him for a moment wondering hesitantly if she should have asked for more.
"If that's all, I'll be going" said Samantha.
"I'll send you a list of gear that you'll need and some basic rules" said John already picking up the phone.
"Fine" said Samantha.
A few days later Samantha walked into her cubicle to find a huge envelope on her desk. She opened it and saw that it was the information John had told her about. There was a two page list of stuff she needed to get for the trip on the Northwestern. She wondered if an actual contestant winner would be asked to buy all this stuff or if Discovery would provide it. Because chances are 3 pairs of raingear and 3 pairs of boots would not come cheap. Not to mention all the warm clothes Samantha would need to survive on the deck of a crab boat. She found a prepaid credit card tucked into the bottom of the envelope with a note stating she was to use this card to buy her supplies. Her airline tickets were in the envelope along with the date she would need to be at the dock. The page of rules from John slipped out next. It was a pretty formidable list. Samantha could not tell any members of the crew who she worked for, she could not wear or do anything that would give the crew reason to suspect she was anything but a contest winner and she was not to give any details about the alleged contest. The last item was simple since she had no idea how the actual contest would work, the other two would be a little harder. The next piece of paper detailed what John wanted her to do before she got to Dutch. Item one was procure all the items on the supply list, item two was to get her hair cut and colored to a very different style, item three was to immerse herself in all things Deadliest Catch in order to get some true fan knowledge and the final item was to remember that Sig is suspicious by nature, so she should be on her best "fan-like" behavior. Samantha tossed the lists aside and dropped her head into her hands, she could already see this turning into a huge disaster.
Samantha spent the weeks remaining running daily to build up her endurance, she continued teaching her aerobic classes and lifted weights to try to make herself as strong as possible before she got on the boat. Over the course of the weeks she'd managed to get stronger and was running 6 miles a day. She hoped it was enough to help her make it through the season. Samantha's bag was packed and sitting next to her door. John was coming to take her to the airport in just a few minutes. He'd insisted on taking her even over her insistence she could just hire a car. Samantha checked her list again noting with pleasure everything was checked. The knock at the door made Samantha shove the list into her backpack before answering it. John was pacing anxiously on the welcome mat when Samantha finally opened the door.
"Samantha, I thought maybe you'd pulled a runner" he said.
"I wish I would have thought about doing that" said Samantha more to herself then John.
"Yes, well where are your bags?" asked John.
"There is just the one right there and my backpack" said Samantha pointing to the bags next to the door.
"That's all your taking? That's amazing, Sig will be so thrilled" said John.
"Yes, well I'm a very good packer" said Samantha.
"Wow, what do you have in here, it weighs a ton" said John lifting the duffle bag.
"It's all the clothes and gear for the trip" said Samantha.
"Right. Lets get it to the car and get you to the airport" said John.
Once in the car John started rattling off a list of requirements.
"Ok Samantha, the most important thing is to keep your anonymity so I want you to change your name" said John.
"I'm not going to lie to them" said Samantha.
"I think you could use a nickname. How about Antha" suggested John.
"Antha? My grandma use to call me that" said Samantha with a smile.
"So you'll introduce yourself as Antha" said John.
"Fine, but if they ask me what it's short for I'm telling them the truth" said Samantha.
"Next, I want you to remember that you are a fan. A big fan so make sure you are properly excited about being on the boat and meeting the crew" explained John.
"So basically you want me to change my name and act like a simpering fool around them" spat Samantha.
"Don't be like this" said John. "You are getting paid to do this and your future with this company depends on them not figuring out who you are."
"You've made that abundantly clear" said Samantha.
They finally arrived at the airport and Samantha all but jumped out of the car. She wanted to put as much distance between herself and John as soon as possible. Samantha already felt like she was going into this whole experience tied up in lies.