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Elphaba wasn't "hot." Sure, she had nice teeth, dark brown eyes, and hair that flowed down her back if she let it, but Christ, she was ugly. In more than one way. Now, if you take me for example, I'm pretty sexy. I have muscles, a hot date 97% of the time, and a smile that could make princess Ozma get on her knees. But this wasn't enough to attract her. You got it: attract her. Yeah, I kind of liked her. Again, she was ugly. Real ugly. But in this way.

See, she had this temper. Like a bad temper. Even if you asked her what she was reading she'd get, like, all emotional and stuff. Tell you that she hates being around people or not to bug her or something like that. Real annoying. And she did this thing, where her eyes would flick. Don't know how else I can say that. Her eyes, they flicked. All around. And if she caught you looking? Darted right into your soul. Oh. And sweet damned Oz, this is what set me off, pal. Her legs.

I'm a guy. I like legs. Like Glinda Upland's legs were smooth and long and soft. But this girl would hide them. I'd only caught a flash, when the wind swooped around and lifted her skirt just enough in time for me to catch a sight of those legs. They were amazing. Perfect legs, length, everything. But all year round, she hid them under thick wool tights or stockings, and then stuff her perfectly sized feet into some ugly brown boots that were too big for her. Seriously, this girl had potential. Like if she wasn't so ugly, I could see her being a star someday.

Now another thing was, she was green. She was either the color of grass you see in the summertime, or the color of moss on trees. I think she got darker in the winter. But my lord, sometimes she glowed. Glowed! In the sunlight or whatever.

But this happened yesterday. I was sitting in class, giving winks and tongue flicks at a group of some really hot girls, when our professor called on Elphaba. I didn't know what the answer was, nor did I give a damn about what this guy was talking about, but when I saw her, eye flicked perfect legged temper having girl she was, furrow her eyebrows and give the right answer? Hot as Hell. Gosh, when she put her mind to it—No, It was when she didn't—she could sure knock you off your seat. So, sexy guy I am, I gave one last look at the girls, who giggled again, and ran and ran a hand through my hair. You know? Get this started. And I sat up, leaned over so I could see her, and gave my input.

"Fascinating stuff, Elphaba."

She turned at that, and there they were, eyes flicking all over the place. "What makes you say that, Avaric?"

Ugh, that temper. I could live without it, man. I really could.

"Well, the formation of the yellow brick road was truly fascinating. I mean, how many bricks were placed? What kid of cement did they use? How long was it?" I tried to sound as smart as could be. I rana hand through my hair again, just to set her off.

Oh, it set her off, alright. Not in the way I wanted it to.

"It says all that in the textbook, if you ever bothered to open it." She held up a thick hard covered book with the words "IN OUR TIMES" on it with some stupid bold font. Beneath it was a picture of some Quadlings and Munchkins all smiling stupidly, like history was a big fucking deal. You couldn't pay me in any form to read that book. But instead, I smiled simply. "Oh, I've already read that book, Elphaba dearest."

"Then what's on page…381?" She asked, flipping to a random page. Seriously?

"I know you think I'm smart, but us guys can't be expected to remember everything, sweetheart."

"Avaric, page 381 is about your heritage. You know, the last king of Gillikin?" She flicked those eyes at me again.

"Oh, that." I said, I pretend to sound like I wasn't interested. Which really, I wasn't. Old Uncle Kingship or whatever died when I was eight, and since my dad was his brother, we got this crapload of money. Seriously, I'm loaded. Which may explain partially why so many girls latch on to me.

But this particular girl didn't know how much I loved a game of cat and mouse. I'd chase her down for some great, odd-girl-out sex. I really would. Just the thought made my eyes lower.

"Yes, My dear old uncle. Tragic, really. But what can I say? I owe him a life of dignity and respect."

"You couldn't even spell dignity and respect." And she turned away from me, just like that, while all the other girls swooned. Forget them.

But afterwards, I didn't. I couldn't get my mid of of Elphaba and her stupid attitude, so I took one of the hot girls from the class up to my bedroom. I fought not to roll my eyes as she tried to say all the right things. Elphaba said all the right things, and they were insults. Couldn't she just like me for a day? I lost my thoughts for a while when the redhead wrapped her arms around me, but even lying in bed with her couldn't stop those thoughts from coming back. When we were finished, she tied to play me up, complementing me and all that, but I snapped for her to get out. I wanted to see Elphaba. I got dressed again. I even combed my hair and took a hot shower and wore a button-down shirt. She owed me. Pulling up some nice black pants, I smiled at myself in the mirror and noticed a piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth. Good thing I got that out. And now, Avaric Tenmeadows, I told myself, you make your grand debut. I couldn't wait until I saw Elphaba's face when I went to go see her, wherever the hell she was. The girl was probably in the library. Oh well, I smiled, I'd hit a girl up in a library before. Loads of times. And today, I couldn't actually couldn't wait.

She was picking out a book from one of the long wooden shelves in our school's library. She had these long, smooth fingers that latched around the spine of the book like a spider spreading out a piece of its nest. I leaned up beside her, giving her one of my killer sexy smiles.

"Hey," I said smoothly.

"Salutations," She muttered dryly. "What have you come to annoy me with now?"

"Oh, I only look to bring good types of trouble, miss Elphaba," I answered, smooth as hell.

"Well, I only look to have a good day," She replied, moving around me and sitting beside the window. "Now if you'll excuse me, I value education and would like to read into something far more intelligent than what comes out of your mouth."

I liked a challenge. I liked her. Even if she wasn't hot. I'd gladly be hers, I just needed some time.

"You really hate me, don't you?" I asked, feigning hurt and confusion.

"What would ever lead you to believe that?" She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I don't know," I said, moving to sit across from her. I started to tap my fingers softly up her leg, an action girls at this school would kill for, but she took her spider fingers and knocked my hand away.

"I feel as if you've judged me too soon, Miss Thropp."

"So I have. My deepest apologies." She answered dryly.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked her. Her eyes flicked up to mine, and it terrified me.

"Why on earth would you ever ask such a nosy question?"

"Just wondering."

She looked away from me, then continued reading.

"Elphaba?" I prodded her again. No answer.

"Then I'll take that as a no." I smirked.

"Take what?"

"You're ignoring me. I'll take that as a no, you're not a virgin."

"Why?" Her eyes lifted to mine again.

"No answer could mean denial or it could mean agreement," I explained. "I take it as a denial." I smirked again, feeling my lip curl up. "You're not a virgin. Who was it? Boq? Fiyero?"

That got a reaction out of her. Her flickering eyes glowed with fire and he pointed one of her spider fingers at me. "Avaric, shut up."

I feigned innocence. "It was just a idea. If you are a virgin, I don't see what the big deal in telling a friend is."

She flinched at the word friend. "Avaric, its none of your business."

Everything was my business. I leaned on the rickety bookshelf and looked right into her eyes.

"Humor me. Just say yes or no."

Elphaba's books tumbled out of her hands and she stepped up to me, anger in all parts of her brown eyes. "To prove what?"

I shrugged. "To prove whether or not you're a virgin," I said. "Unless you're too scared to tell me." I wrapped an arm around her waist and bent close to her ear, ignoring her sigh of disgust. "Don't worry, sweetheart," I whispered. "I'm good at keeping secrets."

She pushed me away, gathered her books and went to the check out desk. I watched the librarian jump when she saw Elphaba's face. It was as if a ghost had appeared. She clumsily stamped the cards in the back of the books and watched Elphaba walk away, fixing her jolted glasses.

It's not like Elphaba could help it! I crossed my arms at her and started to follow the green girl out of the library.

"Avaric!"

I turned at a high pitched voice that teetered on the brink of annoying. Pfannee was one of Glinda Upland's friends, and the heartthrob of many boys at Shiz. The only reason they fell for her were the two very large injected breats she supported on her toothpick thin body. Combining her nosy attitude and inflated self esteem with the rest of her body, I found her hideous. She had a long neck that was good for peering over her school books to get into other students' business. It supported a long face with a thick chin, and her teeth, though they were pearly white, were long and angled like a rat's incisors.

She looked at her from under clumpy eyelashes. "I looked for you after school yesterday," She said. I fought not to cover my ears. "I overheard you speaking with Elphaba..."

Of course she did.

"...And I just wanted to say, I'm not a virgin." She wrapped her arms around my waist. Her breath smelled like-you know what, nevermind. "If you want, I have an hour before my next class. I'm so real in bed, Avy. All those other girls are fake."

Not as fake as her breasts.

"And...so...yeah. I'm free."

"Really?" I asked her. "I thought you charged people this entire year. I thought that's why you waited outside. Well, maybe you were trying to catch the bus, but I'll never know. Bye."

And with that, I walked out in search of Elphaba.

Avy. Give me an oz-damned break.