Title- You Bet
Author- Denise
E-mail – sky_
Category- Humor, Sam/Jack
Archive Anywhere but please link to the page on my own site. .net/emeraldcity
Season- after Sam's a major but before Daniel dies
Spoilers – None really
Content Level – Older Kids
Content Warning- Little Language, sexual situaions
Summary- It's movie night…if they can just get Sam to stop picking it apart.
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Sci-fi and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
You Bet
By
Denise
"Twenty," Jack said.
"You're nuts," Daniel retorted.
"I'm right."
"You're still nuts."
Teal'c sat down, sparing his friends a glance as he picked a piece of fruit off the plate on the tray in front of him.
"I'm still gonna win," Jack insisted.
"How can you win if we both agree?" Daniel asked.
"Of what are you speaking?" Teal'c asked, giving into the weakness of curiosity.
"Movie night," Jack said. "Daniel's's trying to guess how many minutes it takes Carter to start pointing out the mistakes in the movie."
Teal'c nodded. He was well aware of Major Carter's penchant to discover and voice the various errors in the entertainment she viewed. He did not see the appeal in such an activity, however he also did not quite understand the human enjoyment of moving pictures upon a screen. Fortunately, understanding was not required for participation.
"He says twenty minutes, I think it'll be sooner," Daniel said, gesturing with his mug of coffee, the dark liquid sloshing dangerously in the cup.
"You do not have faith in Major Carter restraining herself?" Teal'c asked.
O'Neill glared. "Carter? NOT nitpick? It's not possible," he dismissed. "It's in her nature."
"I believe that you underestimate Major Carter," Teal'c said.
"Really?" Jack asked.
"Indeed. I believe she is capable of much restraint."
"Oh, she is," Jack said.
"Just not when she's watching a movie," Daniel interjected.
"Or studying one of her doohickies."
"Or riding her bike."
Teal'c sighed to himself, abandoning his lunch. "I presume that you are wagering upon your beliefs?"
"Well, umm…"
"Fifty bucks," Jack confirmed.
"If you make the sum one hundred dollars, I shall enter into the wager with you," he said.
Jack looked to Daniel and then shrugged. "Sure," he said. "More the merrier."
Daniel pulled a small notebook out of his pocket. "Okay, make your bets, one hundred each, winner take all."
"Twenty minutes," Jack said. "But you're gonna have to take an IOU on the money until I can hit the ATM."
"I say ten," Daniel said, logging his bet. "And yeah, I'm IOUing too." He looked at Teal'c. "What's your bet?"
"Zero," Teal'c replied.
"Zero what?"
"Teal'c, not even Carter nitpicks before the movie starts."
"I do not mean that she will vocalize the faults prior to the movie beginning," Teal'c said. "I mean that she will voice none."
"None?" Daniel asked.
"Teal'c, you're betting that Sam can watch a whole movie without pointing out one single error?" Jack asked.
"I do," Teal'c nodded.
"It's not possible."
"Teal'c, that's a sucker's bet," Jack said. "You're throwing your money away."
"It is my money to spend as I wish," Teal'c said. "And I wish to wager that Major Carter will view a complete movie of your choosing without vocalizing one single flaw."
Jack shrugged. "Okay, bet."
Daniel wrote it down. "A fool and his money," he muttered.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Jack poured the bag of pretzels out into a bowl and carried it out into the living room, setting it onto the coffee table. He heard the roar of a motorcycle and smiled, returning to the kitchen to retrieve a couple bottles of beer out of the fridge.
He made his way to the front door and met Carter as it opened, holding out a bottle to her. "Thanks, sir," she said, openly surprised. She awkwardly handed him the bag of popcorn she'd brought and took the beer.
"You're welcome. Teal'c and Daniel are on their way."
"Right, it's his turn to pick out the movie," she said, setting her beer down and taking off her jacket, before she picked it back up and followed him into the living room.
"Stake your claim," he invited. "I'll get a bowl for the popcorn."
She picked her corner of the sofa and sat down. Just as Jack returned with the bowl of popcorn the door opened and Daniel and Teal'c walked in. The next few minutes was a flurry of activity as the two new arrivals made themselves at home. Snacks were dished out, beverages served and seats claimed.
"What did you get?" Sam asked as Daniel loaded the DVD player.
"I thought I'd try something different," Daniel replied. He claimed his seat and the remote, quickly navigating through the minimalistic menu.
"Megasnake?" Jack asked, glancing at Daniel.
"It looked interesting," Daniel said, grinning confidently.
"I'll bet it did," Jack answered, glaring at his friend. He had no idea that Daniel could be so devious. He should have thought of it.
The opening scenes of the movie flashed across the TV and Jack frowned, inwardly wincing at the rock and roll honky tonk music and the poorly done Southern accents. Damn, she wasn't even going to last five minutes, much less twenty.
"Those accents are horrible," Daniel said.
"I've heard worse," Sam answered, leaning back and propping her feet up on the table.
Daniel looked over at him and Jack just shrugged before turning his attention back to the movie.
"Ooh, last of its kind, that's gotta be the killer snake," Jack said, glancing at Sam. She simply took another drink of her beer.
"And it has to get out," Daniel said.
"It would not be very threatening should it remain a diminutive size suitably contained," Teal'c said.
"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "And my money is on bumbling brother breaking the jar or….oops," he stopped when the character on the movie did just that, knocking the containment jar off the table.
"It shall consume an animal first, will it not?" Teal'c asked. "I believe that is the technique Tau'ri film makers use to illustrate a creature's danger when the creature is too small to be a real threat to humans."
"It's actually based on human psychological studies where they found that most serial killers started killing animals when they were children and escalated to killing humans over the course of years," Daniel explained.
Sam got up and left the room. "Do you want us to pause the movie?" Daniel called out. "We don't want you to miss any of it."
"That's okay," she answered. "I'll be right back."
True to her word, she returned in just a minute, a fresh beer in her hand. She sank back down on the sofa and leaned forward, filling her hands with chips. "Have any people died yet?" she asked.
"I think Ma is about to," Jack answered as the main character's mother made her way out to the chicken coop, a shot gun in her hands.
"Looks like it," Sam agreed.
"Wow," Daniel said. "Look at the size of that snake. It got big fast. It's just not physically possible for a snake to grow that fast."
"It'd be a short movie if it took the snake a few decades to get big," Sam dismissed.
"Would it not be an exceedingly long movie?" Teal'c asked.
"Yep, there goes Ma," Jack said as the older woman fell to the floor of the chicken coop.
"Snake one, humans zero," Sam said.
Jack glanced at his watch, smiling when the ten minute mark ticked over. That Benjamin wouldn't be leaving his wallet anytime soon.
"He's whistling for the snake?" Jack asked. "Can you even whistle for snakes? I didn't think they could hear." He glared at Sam, almost willing her to take the bait and speak up.
She remained stubbornly silent, contentedly drank her beer and munched on the popcorn.
"Whatta you think, Carter, can you whistle for a snake?"
She shrugged. "In this movie you can."
"Their home must indeed be some distance from the town," Teal'c said. "Would not the lightening be visible for a great distance?"
"It could be visible for hundreds of miles, if the storm clouds are high enough," Sam answered, yawning slightly. The timer readout on the DVD player ticked over to twenty minutes and Jack sighed, watching his chance at a quick buck evaporate into thin air.
"How come they don't just drive off?" Jack asked, watching the giant snake pummel the SUV that the latest victim's family was hiding in.
"Maybe dad had the keys in his pocket," Daniel suggested.
"Which the snake just consumed when it swallowed the father whole," Teal'c said.
"She has a PHd in Biology?" Daniel asked, parroting the character's words. "Since when do they cover giant man eating snakes in college?"
"Perhaps your education was lacking," Teal'c said.
Jack chuckled and Sam snorted.
"It's just not possible for that thing to move that fast," Daniel said, leaning forward in the sofa. "It's gotta weigh how many tons? Nothing that big moves that fast." Daniel looked over at Sam. "Right Sam?"
She shrugged. "Since we really don't have any snakes this big around, we can't really know how fast they move," she replied.
"Oh look, a nice noisy carnival," Daniel said, frowning at Sam. He rubbed his hands together. "This should rack up the body count."
"Would it not have been prudent to cancel this event?" Teal'c asked.
"It's a monster movie staple, never cancel the big public event," Jack said. "Isn't that right, Carter," he said. She shrugged, refusing to speak up. In fact, she seemed to not be watching the movie at all. She had abandoned the chips about an hour ago and was almost lying down on the couch, her chin tucked into her chest and her eyes half closed.
"Swallow him?" Daniel exclaimed. "Did that guy just say the hero needed to be swallowed by the snake?"
"He did, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered. "How better to kill the creature than from within, despite the fact that everyone else the snake has swallowed whole has perished."
"Good plan," Jack said. "Except for that niggling little detail of stomach acid."
Jack watched as the movie played out, the hero allowing himself to be swallowed only to have the massive snake die a few seconds later. He shook his head in disbelief as not only the hero but his girlfriend emerged alive from the body of the creature, clutching a heart that was way too small for the gigantic proportions of the monster.
"What'd you think?" Daniel asked, getting up from the sofa to eject the DVD as the credits rolled.
"This movie did not seem to be of the quality of previous ones that we have watched," Teal'c said.
"B movies rarely are," Jack said, standing up and stretching.
"That's part of what makes them so much fun," Sam said. "They're good when they're bad."
She picked the bowl up from the table and carried it and her empty bottle into the kitchen before retreating down the hall. Jack presumed for a restroom break. "I believe the Tau'ri phrase is 'pay up'," Teal'c said, smiling slightly as he held out his hand the second the bathroom door closed.
With a sigh, Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet as Daniel did the same. They both handed Teal'c the money, eager to finish the transaction before Sam returned.
"How'd you know?" Daniel asked.
Teal'c smiled. "As I said, you underestimated Major Carter." He got to his feet. "Daniel Jackson, if you have viewed sufficient entertainment, I desire to return to the SGC."
"I should make you get a taxi," Daniel complained, putting the DVD into the case and gathering up his coat. "You can certainly afford one."
"See ya," Jack said, yawning slightly. "We have a briefing at 0900 tomorrow," he reminded. The two of them left and Jack finished picking up the debris of the evening, tossing the empty beer bottles into the recycling bin and the left over pretzels back into the bag.
"The guys are gone?" Sam asked, returning to the front of the house.
"Yeah, Teal'c wanted to go back," Jack answered. "You showed remarkable restraint today," he said, leaning against the counter as she opened a cabinet door and got a glass.
"I was motivated," she said, running some water into the glass before she crossed to the refrigerator and opened the top freezer compartment, grabbing a handful of ice cubes to plunk into the glass. "Seventy-five bucks an hour can buy a lot of restraint."
"Sev…you knew!" Jack pushed off from the counter, turning to confront her.
"Of course I knew," she said. "Teal'c's gonna split it with me." She grinned for a second and took a drink. After a second, her grin faded and she wrapped both hands around the glass. "If it bugged you guys that much, you could have just said something," she said seriously.
"It doesn't bug me," Jack said. "That much," he clarified when she glared at him. "Sam, it's a part of you. And yeah, there are some days when it gets on my nerves. Just like there are some days when I am so sick and tired of Teal'c not understanding slang or Daniel having to turn everything into a lecture. But those quirks are part of you and part of who you are. I change them, I change you." He crossed the room and stood in front of her, putting a hand on each of her shoulders. "I don't want to change you." He leaned to kiss her. "I like you just the way you are."
"Really?"
"Really," he confirmed. He reached down and took the glass from her hands, setting it on the counter. "You're pretty damn cool."
She smiled and her cheeks colored a delicate shade of pink. "I think you're pretty damn cool too," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. She raised her lips to his and Jack willingly leaned forward, his arms settling around her waist to pull her close.
"So what did you really think of the movie?" he asked once she broke the kiss.
"Is that a megasnake in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" she quipped. She grinned. "Daniel tried too hard. Seriously, it was so bad it wasn't worth making fun of. If he wanted to challenge me, he should have picked Twister." She shrugged. "Although Lester was kinda cute."
"Lester?" Jack asked, full of mock outrage. "You like Lester?"
"I didn't say I liked him, I just said he was cute," Sam said, stepping out of his arms. "And he certainly knew how to handle a snake," she tossed over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.
"A snake?" Jack asked, following her.
"Not only a snake, but it was a megasnake, remember?" She walked through the living room and paused in the threshold to the hallway.
"Ah yes, how could I forget," Jack said. "A megasnake. Makes all the difference in the world."
"It does," she said, her hands straying up to the buttons on her blouse. "Then again, some of us go for quality over quantity." Jack watched as she unbuttoned the buttons, a seductive grin splitting her face. She slid the shirt down her arms and caught it with the fingers of her right hand. "Of course, a little quantity of quality is also nice."
She tossed the blouse towards him and spun on the ball of her foot, slowly sashaying her way back to his bedroom, kicking off her shoes as she walked.
"I hope you realize that 'mega' is a relative term," he called out, turning off the lamp and TV before he followed her into the bedroom. Movie night, his favorite night of the week.
~Fin~