"AJ… you have to kill me."
The words coming out of Clementine's mouth hit AJ like a truck at full force. How many times had she forced him to repeat those words? He couldn't count them if he wanted to, but this time they felt different. This time, they felt real. The implications of what was to come were just now catching up to him, and a horrible feeling settled in AJ's stomach.
"Don't let me become one of them," Clem pleaded. Her voice broke, small tears glistening in her hazel eyes. He'd never really noticed how pretty her eyes were before, he realized. "Be a good boy," she said.
Her lip quivered for a second before she closed her eyes and sighed. Her breath hitched. AJ's eyes were already full of tears, most of them streaming down his cheeks and staining his already dirty clothes. Groans and moans came from outside, the walkers from which they came reaching in and grabbing for purchase. None of them were getting in.
"But–," AJ began.
"Kill me," she interrupted. Her eyes were red and her skin pale. Small beads of sweat dripped down her forehead, making her hair stick to it. He gripped the handle of the ax firmly, his knuckles getting white after a few seconds.
AJ felt like his heart had been ripped out of him. His voice caught in his throat, unbidden pleas making little sense in his troubled mind. How could Clementine die? She wasn't supposed to die. There was so much she still had to teach him.
He hadn't learned how to swim, how to play that card game Clem knew. AJ's whole world was collapsing around him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He racked his brain for a way out of this; a way in which both of them got out of this barn alive. In the end, all he could come up with was a faint, "no…"
Clem didn't seem fazed by his plea, as if she had been expecting it. She probably had, AJ surmised. Clem knew everything, after all. Despite the grim situation, he watched Clem muster the best smile she could, taking in a deep breath.
"I know it's hard, goofball," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I wish it hadn't come down to this, I really do."
"Then don't give up," AJ cried, stumbling over his words. "There's gotta be a way! You said you'd never leave me. You promised!" he yelled. He didn't care about the monsters outside.
"I know I did," she said sadly. Her head hung low, exhaustion taking the better of her. "I just wasn't fast enough. I'm… I'm sorry, goofball."
AJ cast his eyes downward. The clock was ticking down, and he was running out of ways to convince her. Her mind was set, it seemed. He let out a deep sigh and adjusted his grip on the ax. He squared his feet, standing tall over Clem's exhausted body. His body adopted the stance Clem herself had taught him when cutting up firewood with an old rusty ax last year.
This is much different from chopping wood, he thought grimly. The woman who had been his caretaker for as long as he could remember looked up at him, frowning as fate grinned in her face. The wind outside picked up speed, blowing on the wind chime hanging atop a column. Before, it had been a peaceful sound, but now it sounded eerie and out of place.
With some effort, AJ raised the ax over his head. His arms trembled under its weight, but he pushed on for Clem's sake. He sought out her guidance once more, his lips quivering as tears threatened to fill his eyes again. When he didn't find her wise counsel, he knew the decision was up to him.
It's just like cutting firewood, he tried telling himself. Maybe that would make it easier. It didn't, of course, and he shook his head in frustration. Just as he was about to raise it higher for the fateful blow, he remembered something. A story.
When he was little, he remembered Clem telling the story of how he met back up with Kenny, the friendly man of whom AJ had little recollection. She had been in a large group, among which had been his parents. Rebecca and Alvin had been their names. He didn't know much about them, other than what Clem had told him, which was very little.
Among this group had been a man named Pete. Clem had talked about how he sacrificed himself for her after he learned he'd been bitten. AJ had shuddered at the thought of being eaten alive to save someone you barely knew. Pete, however, had almost attempted cutting off his leg before that, Clem had said. According to her, that could save the bitten person from turning into a monster, if done fast enough.
Before him, Clementine had closed her eyes and was waiting for the end. She looked so vulnerable in that position, in a way AJ had never seen her. He could scarcely believe what he was seeing. Clementine had always been the strongest person he knew. But now she looked weak…
But not dead.
AJ looked down at Clem's mangled leg, staring directly at the bite on her calf. Tears threatened to break surface with his eyes, but he would not allow them. His eyes drifted upwards towards her knee. Even in his mind, he realized that this was crazy. He had gone completely insane, he realized. But he had to try; he had to try for Clem. She had trusted that he make the right call. He had once already, why not another?
Taking in a deep breath, AJ plunged the ax down on Clementine's knee joint. He watched as the blade cut into her skin, giving off a sickening crunch. The part that used to be her lower leg hung loosely from her knee by a few sinews, the white of her bone showing through the muscle. Blood spewed onto the barn floor, staining the hay a deep red. But the worst thing was her screams.
AJ had never heard her scream the way she was screaming right now. It was a high, guttural sound that echoed through the barn, drowning out the groans from the walkers outside. He could hear the pain in her voice. Her face contorted in a mixture of pain and anger. AJ watched in fear as her eyes flew open and landed on him.
"What the fuck, AJ?" she cried. She tried yelling again but a fresh wave of pain must have gone through her body. Clem grunted as she did her best to stop the bleeding with nothing more than her bare hands. Suffice to say, it was not enough.
AJ paid her no mind, raising the ax once again to finish the job. He looked down at her knee. His lip curled at the sickening sight of her severed leg. He closed his eyes this time as he swung the ax down, releasing Clem of the rest of her leg.
Bewildered, she looked at the bleeding stump, where splinters of bone and cartilage sprouted, creating a grotesque image. Upon seeing it, her eyes shot upwards to AJ. Where he thought he'd see anger, he saw fear. Her lower lip quivered for a moment before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed.
"Clem?" he whispered, terrified that he'd somehow killed her. His grip on the handle of the ax dwindled, and he dropped the bloodied weapon on the ground. For the faintest moment, he thought he might have killed her, but Clementine's shallow breath gave him hope. He allowed himself to sigh in relief.
As quick as it had come, the hope turned to dread when AJ spotted the darkening cloth where Clem's jeans grazed her new stump. He decided to ignore the bile that began forming in his stomach and was threatening to travel up his throat, and turned around.
On the floor was one of the walkers he had had to kill earlier, sprawled over the hay. AJ rushed to it and ripped out a piece of its shirt. He came back to Clem and covered the wound with the cloth as best he could. Despite his efforts, the blood kept flowing and the piece of shirt became blacker by the second. He remembered the rope on the left side of the barn, hanging from a beam.
AJ performed a rudimentary tourniquet on Clem's leg, just like she'd shown him six months ago. After a while, bedtime stories got old and survival tips became more relevant to their lives, so Clem had taken it upon herself to prepare the boy for anything that might come. To his relief, learning to amputate limbs had been among the lessons.
"You're gonna be fine, Clem," he kept muttering under his breath as he worked. Unfortunately, there was one more step to the process Clem had shown him. Something about cau… cuto – he needed fire.
Carefully, he set aside a small pile of hay on the floor of the barn, just like Clem had shown him. Using the flint from the cave, AJ hit the two of them together, creating a small spark. It wasn't enough to make a fire, so he kept at it. About four attempts in, a small piece of hay caught and the flame began slowly spreading. Just like she'd taught him, AJ blew softly at the base of the fire, gasping when the flames turned bright orange.
Feeling as though time was ticking away, AJ produced his knife from his pocket, cleaned it up against his jeans, and hovered it over the fire. Clem said it would take a few minutes. He watched as the blade turned from the soft grey of silver to the bright, aggressive orange of fire. Once he was certain it was hot enough, he turned to Clementine and grimaced. This is gonna suck, he thought.
His eyes drifted down towards the wound; a mangled mess of bone, muscle, and cartilage spewing blood over the floor. AJ did his best not to flinch as he inched forward and softly placed the white-hot blade on the bleeding muscle, watching the smoke emanating from the surface of the knife. Unfortunately, Clem could do no such thing.
Her screams once again filled the air of the barn, thrashing her arms around as she tried to get away from the searing pain. AJ made an effort to keep her in place as he worked on her wound. He watched with fleeting hope as the blood flow began to diminish and some color returned to Clem's face.
"You're gonna be fine…"
Tearing another piece of cloth from a walker, he fashioned the best bandage he could for the situation. He covered the stump with it, grimacing when he felt Clem twitch. His hand instinctively went to the ax on the ground, but there seemed to be no more movement coming from her.
He checked for a pulse and sighed in relief when he found one. Around him, however, the walkers were still intent on breaking into the barn. The breeze had stopped by now, and he gathered there wasn't much more time until the doors and makeshift windows gave under the weight of the walkers. Now that Clem's wound was dealt with, the more pressing issue of getting out of here came swimming to the top of AJ's mind.
He looked around for a way out, but all he came up with was the hole in the roof. Clem wouldn't be able to climb that high, he knew. The door was not an option, as more and more walkers had wandered into the clearing and had been banging on the door for the last hour. The pens hosted at least seven walkers each, their growls and moans drowning out AJ's thoughts.
One thought, however, came to his mind above all. He frantically looked for a way to climb to the top of the building and spotted the wheelbarrow beside one of the pens. With a herculean effort, he pushed it against the back wall. He clambered onto it and stood on tiptoes, reaching up for a crevice carved in the wall. He boosted himself upwards and placed his foot on one of the higher beams, grunting with the effort of carrying his own weight.
After numerous attempts, he finally took hold of the edge of the makeshift skylight. Using the rest of his energy, he pulled himself up and landed on the roof of the barn. The wood creaked under his weight. Carefully, he crawled forward toward the front of the building. Below him, dozens of walkers had surrounded the place, banging on the walls in search of flesh.
He cast his gaze toward the tree line, squinting in search for Louis. They'd split up after crossing the bridge. He's probably at the school by now, AJ thought ruefully; but he had to try. He cupped his hands on his mouth.
"Louis!" he yelled, grimacing when he saw some of the walkers' heads turn in his direction. "Louis, where are you?"
The forest replied with a soft breeze, the wind mocking him as he looked around frantically. He called out again, raising his voice as high as he could. Again, there was no answer. The walkers below, however, were beginning to pick up on his pleas, rounding the building and banging on the side he was standing on.
"Louis! Clem's hurt, we need your help!"
He kept at it, looking around the clearing for movement. Finally, he found it near the way he and Clem had come from. Though he looked small from up high, he saw Louis's clothes were covered in walker guts, as was his face. He waved his arms at Louis, smiling when the freckled boy waved back.
Louis pressed a finger to his lips, gesturing toward the walkers on the left side of the barn. AJ knew what he meant. If I keep screaming, they will see him. Careful of his steps, he moved to the right side, motioning Louis to get closer. Hesitantly, the other boy obliged, moving slowly so as to not arouse suspicion among the dead.
"Hey, little man," Louis whispered once he was within AJ's earshot. "What happened?" he asked with a frown.
"Clem got bit. I cut it off and bandaged it, but she's unconscious and I don't know how to get her out," AJ's mind was racing, unable to focus on one detail alone.
Louis's face at learning what had gone down was of pure horror. His jaw dropped and his face hardened.
"Wait, Clem got bit?" he asked, incredulous. His mind grasped bits and pieces of what AJ had said, one by one. "And what do you mean, you cut it off?"
"I mean, I cut off her leg so she wouldn't turn," AJ explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I bandaged her, but she won't be able to walk, you gotta help us."
Shaking his head, Louis closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he nodded and looked up at AJ. "What do you wanna do?"
AJ looked back at the entrance, where at least five walkers were still trying to get inside. On the other side, more of them were probably banging on the walls. He looked back at Louis.
"I'll go to the other side of this barn and distract them," he said, nodding. "Once they clear the door, you go in and take Clem."
"You sure about this?" Louis said, frowning.
"Louis, you gotta trust me," AJ pleaded. "I can't lose Clem, please."
Louis looked up at the young boy, pursing his lips. Finally, he sighed. "Alright, I trust you, little man."
"Oh, almost forgot," AJ said. "I closed the door with a rake. You're gonna have to kick it down."
"Won't that make a lot of noise?" wondered Louis, already dreading his decision to trust the little man.
"Then do it quick," AJ said matter-of-factly, turning on his heels and leaving Louis alone.
The boy traversed the roof of the barn to the other side, where the bulk of the walkers were located. He spotted Louis getting close to the door and put his plan in motion. Standing up, he flailed his arms around while yelling at the top of his lungs. "Hey, shitheads, look at me! Yeah, that's right, come get me!"
The walkers at the door turned their heads, spotting him on the roof. To AJ's relief, it worked. Most of the undead seemed to be interested in what he had to say. While he kept yelling, he spotted Louis stabbing a lone walker in the head and heading toward the door.
As the last remnants of the undead turned the corner to the left side, the freckled boy got to work on it. He placed a hard kick on it, hearing the crack of wood coming from it. Unfortunately, the walkers heard it too. AJ frantically moved up and down, calling to the walkers.
"You, come back!" he was saying, kicking down on a solid part of the roof. "Look at me, look at me!"
The kicks from the front of the barn kept coming steadily until an audible crash resounded. He's in, AJ thought triumphantly. Unfortunately, the walkers seemed to have lost interest in his shenanigans. While Louis rushed inside, AJ spotted at least four of them wandering toward the front door.
"Louis, hurry!" he yelled, unable to see into the barn from up above.
He peeked from the edge of the roof into the clearing, frowning at the number of walkers now intent on getting inside. There was nothing he could do. He watched helplessly as the undead closed the gap between them and the door, praying to anyone who would listen that they got out of there alive.
Apparently, someone was listening.
Just as one of the walkers took a hold of the edge of the door, AJ spotted Louis emerging from the barn with an unconscious Clementine in his arms. The bandaged stump had stopped bleeding, but her face was still pale from the blood loss.
As Louis made a beeline for the trees, he chanced a glance in AJ's direction. The boy still had to find a way down. As he rushed to the other side of the barn, where he knew there were fewer walkers, the roof of the barn gave way and AJ found himself falling off. His small hand was barely able to grasp a ledge to keep from feeding the undead beneath them.
"AJ!" he heard Louis scream, terror in his voice.
"Louis!" he yelled back, struggling to keep his balance as he felt the bony fingers of walkers reaching for his boots. "I – I can't hold on!"
For a moment, everything went quiet. He could hear the blood rushing through his ears, an incessant drum against his temple. The growls of the walkers beneath him were completely drowned out, replaced by the thumping of his beating heart. Was this how it ended?
Fortunately, fate had other plans. Just as he was about to lose the fight with his grip, he heard a loud clanging noise from behind him. Beneath him, the walkers seemed to have found a new interest. He turned his head as far as his neck would allow and spotted Louis in the far side of the clearing. The boy still held Clem in his arms, but his right hand was banging a large stick on a piece of sheet metal.
"That's right, fuckers, come to me!" he was yelling, banging the sheet louder. "AJ, run! I'll catch up with you!"
Trusting the man, AJ let himself drop to the ground, grunting as he hit it. He watched Louis take Clem and run through the trees and followed his example. Avoiding the few stragglers that had remained in the clearing, he took the path that supposedly led to the school. He ran as fast as his feet would take him, keeping the sun on his right and the trees on his left.
For ten minutes, all AJ could think of was running. He didn't look back, he didn't check his sides. He only looked forward. Clem's fine, he told himself, she's with Louis, she's fine. As he got to the small wooden bridge that ran over the creek near the fishing hut, he heard someone call out his name from behind him.
Turning around, he spotted Louis, Clementine still in his arms. He had bags under his eyes and his breathing was ragged. As he approached AJ, he sighed in relief.
"God, I thought we lost you," he breathed out, making an effort to wipe sweat from his forehead.
"I thought the same," AJ blurted, rushing forward and embracing Louis in a hug. "Thank you, Louis. You saved us."
"It's no problem, little man," Louis let out, offering the boy a shy smile. "Now, let's get Clem home and you can tell me all about this." He gestured to the stump on Clem's left leg, and AJ grimaced.
"Alright," was all AJ said.
The two boys walked the rest of the way to the school, a pregnant silence between them. They walked for about thirty minutes, birds chirping the beginning of the day above them. As they approached the gate, Louis set Clem down on the ground, heaving a sigh. Willy was the one who spotted them from the watchtower.
"Willy, get Ruby!" Louis yelled, looking down at his girlfriend.
"What happened?" the boy asked.
"It's Clementine…"
It had been two days since Louis and AJ had arrived at the school with an unconscious Clementine. Ruby had managed to change her bandages, though she made it a point to congratulate AJ on his marvelous medical skills. Now, the girl lay motionless in her bed, a blanket shielding her against the autumn breeze.
Unfortunately, Ruby had insisted on tying her arm to the bedpost, lest they weren't prepared for the worst. Louis had been adamantly against it, claiming he knew she'd make it, but had to back down when everyone agreed with the redhead. He had spent the entire two days sitting by her bed, sleeping only minutes at a time, afraid he'd miss something if he lied down.
He took the hand that wasn't tied to the bed and gave it a squeeze, kissing the back of it.
"AJ told me what happened yesterday," he said, all too aware that she couldn't hear him. "He said you asked him to… to kill you." The words caught in his throat, unable to process the thought of her dying in such a manner.
"I thought I'd lost you, Clem," he continued, unable to stop his thoughts from pouring out. "When I heard AJ calling out through the forest, I was so glad. But then, he said you were bit, and my whole world collapsed."
The room was exactly as Clem had left it before going to the Delta three days ago. Louis looked around at the decorations and modifications she had made to it. From the ceiling fan hung a wind chime, swaying mildly in the soft wind of the morning. The sun shone through the window, casting long shadows on the wooden floor.
A deer skull sat atop the door, looking as menacing as he imagined a deer skull would look if it was looking down on you. He was surprised to see a vase of flowers on the drawer by her bed, some of their petals already withering away. Turning to Clem again, he sighed.
"I didn't even know you could survive a bite by cutting it off," he admitted, his eyes darting to the stump, noticeable through the blanket. "I just hope you pull through for me. I – I don't know what I'd do if you died, Clem."
He stayed silent for a while, breathing evenly as sleep deprivation almost got the best of him. The only sounds around him were the birds that welcomed the dawn of a new day, as if nothing of importance was going on around them. The singing brought an idea to Louis's mind, who snapped his fingers.
For the first time in two days, Louis left Clementine's room and rushed to the music room, brushing away all attempts by the rest of the kids to talk to him. Five minutes later, he came back to the room pushing the old gramophone inside with the help of Aasim. With some effort, they set it down beside the bed. Aasim nodded at Louis and closed the door behind him, leaving the freckled boy alone with the unconscious girl.
He sat back down on the rickety chair, a box of old records in his lap. He skimmed through them, muttering under his breath. When he found what he was looking for, he smiled and took out the vinyl, setting it gently on the gramophone. He placed the needle over it and began turning the crank a few times.
Seconds later, the device erupted in sound, enveloping Louis and the entire room in harmonious music. But it wasn't just any music. It was a song very dear to Louis, who cleared his throat before jumping into the chorus.
"Oh my darling, Oh my darling.
Oh my darling, Clementine
You are lost and gone forever,"
He hoped against hope that it wasn't true; that Clem would wake up and shut him up for thinking such stupid things.
"Dreadful sorry, Clementine.
Light she was and like a fairy
And her shoes were number nine
Herring boxes without topses
Sandals were for Clementine."
After the verse, he raised the needle and buried his head in his hands, sighing deeply. This was stupid, he knew. There was no way she had heard him. She probably won't even wake u–
When he heard a soft mumble coming from the bed, his head shot up, his eyes glistening with tears. He watched as Clementine's eyes fluttered open slowly, the bright gold of her irises a marvelous view in a world that seemed to get bleaker by the second. As she raised her head an inch above the bed and Louis spotted her beautiful eyes, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
She seemed disoriented for a moment, blinking and getting her bearings. After a few seconds, she seemed to recognize the person in front of him.
"Louis?" she croaked.
"I'm here, Clem," he whispered, holding her hand gently, as though applying too much strength might make her go away.
"Am I – Am I dead?" she asked, looking around her room.
"You're alive, Clementine," Louis said, trying to convince himself in the process. "You made it."
"But how?" she inquired, wonder in her voice.
Louis's voice caught in his throat, his eyes darting to her left leg. Confused, Clem followed his gaze. Upon seeing her limb, or lack thereof, she gasped.
"AJ had to cut off your leg," he explained, nervousness sipping into his voice, "to stop the spread of the bite."
"I told him–"
"He knows you told him to kill you," Louis interrupted, shaking his head. "He just wasn't ready to say goodbye to you. And honestly, neither was I."
Clem tried to get up but struggled with the duct tape that held her tied to the bed. Louis helped her out of it, and she slowly sat up. He offered her a glass of water that Omar had brought for her the day before, and she took it gladly, emptying its contents in one gulp.
"How can I keep going with this," Clem said, gesturing to the stump that she was too painfully aware of. "You guys will need to pamper me all day. I can't be that much of a burden to everyone."
"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there," Louis said, raising a hand. "Because I know where this is going. Clem, we don't mind taking care of you. We don't mind giving you a shoulder to lean on. For all the good you've done this school, I think you deserve it."
Clem studied her boyfriend's face for a moment, squinting at him. She pursed her lips, looking down at her hands.
"I'm a cripple," she whispered, her voice small and defenseless.
"I disagree," announced Louis, shaking his head. "I think you're gonna kick this shit in the ass and pull through, and you know why?"
Hopeful, Clem looked up from her hands and found the chocolate eyes she had gotten lost in that night by the piano.
"Why's that?"
"Because you're Clementine," he said proudly, puffing out his chest. He took a moment to look at her, a beaming smile on his face. Leaning forward, he planted a soft kiss on her lips, startling her. after they broke apart, he sighed contently and looked up at her.
"And there's nothing a badass like you can't do."