Chapter Summary: Katniss finishes her hunting trip in preperation for the start of the Victory Tour and has a mysterious visitor.
Note: This is a sequel to my story "I'll Just Let You Fall". I would advise you to read that first.
It was a cold morning. I held the flask tighter even though any faint warmth had long leeched out. My muscles were clenched so tightly that if a pack of wild dogs was to come I would be unable to run and climb a tree. I knew I should get up and work out the stiffness but instead all I could see was the wintery landscape as the sun finally rose. It was the day I had been dreading for months.
Soon they would descend upon me. The reporters, the camera crews, Effie Trinket would appear from the Capitol. I wondered what monstrosity of a wig Effie would wear. The prep team would try to make me beautiful and Cinna would dress me. He was the only one I really cared to see.
If it were up to me I would forget all about the Games and pretend they never happened. True I hadn't had much success with that but it was worth attempting. Haymitch hadn't managed it but then he drank himself into oblivion. The Victory Tour made forgetting impossible. It was a celebration of death. And this time I was one of the principal actors.
The sun persisted in rising so I made myself rise. It took time to iron the kinks out of my stiff muscles but I did so at last stumbling around until they loosened. I had been in the woods three hours but hadn't made a single kill. It didn't matter for my family for we had plenty of food even if we preferred the fresh meat I brought in. But my Aunt Hazelle and cousins couldn't or refused to accept money and so I brought game since that is all they would accept. Gale was capable of feeding his family but ever since he took the job in the mines he worked all days but Sundays. We used to go after school. Short of being with Prim those were the happiest times of my life before the Games.
The mines haunted my dreams. The place my father and uncle died. It was the place where Gale and all the other Seam men, and some women, make their living. I couldn't even visit the mines in my yearly visit in school. Poor Gale. He seemed only alive in the woods with the sunlight and the clean air and the water. Just like my father he couldn't stand being cooped up. I didn't know how he managed to do it. But I did. He did it to save his family from starvation.
Gale didn't like to take anything from me even the game. I had buckets of money and could have gotten him a decent job as a Merchant but he wouldn't take it. He accepted the game reluctantly knowing that if I didn't hunt I would be stuck in the house knitting sweaters with my mother. But he got so anxious accepting it I just bring it along when he is at work.
I had somewhat accepted the fact that my family would never entirely understand what it is like. Prim was too young though sometimes I think she came the closest. My mother had so many problems of her own that she didn't know how to deal with anyone else's. My aunt saw exactly what she wanted to see and no more. And Gale, the one person I had hoped would understand, didn't. That was the hardest part. He was my best friend and it seemed like we were talking at cross purposes. The one lesson I had learned was that going back was impossible. I would never be the girl I had been before the Reaping.
I got a good haul from the traps thanks to Gale's excellent traps. He had a gift for it. My father and aunt were both good but Gale had a certain flair to them that yielded great results. It required an eye for balance, an instinct for where the prey will cross your path.
I went to the place I was born, the house I had spent sixteen years in. It still belonged to my mother and Prim in case of my death. My mother and sister were quite happy in the house in Victor's Village but for me, this was my real home. I often went there to change clothes. I took off my father's hunting jacket and replaced it with the close-fitting jacket and shoes that Cinna made for me and my mother thought was more appropriate to my "status". Even though time was ticking by I didn't make any move to leave. I wanted to move back here. It was so peaceful and quiet. As hard as that life was it was so much easier than mine after the games.
Buttercup yowled at the door and I let him in feeling a sudden and uncharacteristic wave of fondness. We both hated the new house. I hauled him out of the house and shut the door behind me.
It only took a minute to get to Gale's house. My aunt saw me through the window and rushed out to me drying her hands on her apron. My aunt was always someone I respected. She had lost her husband and brother on the same day. She had three boys and was pregnant with a fourth child. Less than a week after the explosion she was getting work. Not the mines in her condition but she became a laundress for many of the Merchant families. And Gale at fourteen became the main provider for the family. But they would have all starved if not for my Aunt. Sometimes it was hard not to compare her to my mother. Her hands were red and cracked from scrubbing and only the salve my mother made kept them from bleeding. My mother and aunt had never been very fond of each other. I think my aunt thought my mother was weak for so quickly giving in to grief. It was her effort that kept Rory from having to take out tesserae when he turned twelve.
"Katniss, come in. You look frozen. Have some tea before you go." My aunt muttered something about my forgetting a sweater and gave me a quick hug before forcing me into a chair and going over to the stove to pour a cup of tea from the pot. She wasn't much of a hugger but ever since I came back from the games she made a point to always give me one. I didn't mind.
"That beaver will make a nice stew." She commented putting the mug on the table in front of me.
"Good pelt." I answered then added. "After I get back I'll take Rory out hunting."
Aunt Hazelle nodded, "That'd be good. Gale means to but he is so busy and on Sundays well…"
Perhaps I know the real reason. Neither Gale or I want to admit that Rory might need to learn. Just like my half-hearted attempts to teach Prim were quickly given up neither of us like to admit our siblings might need to take care of themselves. Plus it is hard because his only hunting day would be spent teaching the clumsy Rory to hunt. Far better that I do it with the endless amounts of time I have. I would teach the whole district if I could. And well, I can't help but think that one reason why he was so busy is that Gale spent the mornings with Madge. I know he took her out many mornings after we met up. Madge and I went out some days after school but her improvements each time make me think that she spends extra time in the woods without me. I wondered how my Aunt felt about that. Him dating a Merchant.
Well, I supposed that I was technically dating a Merchant too. Even if it wasn't actually a relationship. Peeta and I were friends but after his confession of his feelings for me in the interview we became the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12. No one except Madge and Gale knew the truth. Perhaps my mother and aunt suspected but they never said a word. My mother had warmed up to Peeta over the months that passed and seemed genuinely happy that I was with him. Prim adored him and had already accepted him as a brother. My aunt was more cautious but occasionally he would force a reluctant smile to cross her face. A few more months and my aunt would probably be accepting him as a fourth son. I was glad my family had largely accepted him but it still didn't make the internal conflict any easier. I hated the Star-Crossed Lovers routine. It was an invention of the Capitol and forced both of us to pretend to be different people. Our easy friendship was muddled by what was expected of us. And the worst of it was that Peeta had real feelings for me. And I didn't know how I felt.
"I'd better get going. Make myself presentable." I gulped down the rest of the tea and stood up. My aunt laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
"Enjoy the food."
"Absolutely."
I made a stop at the Hob where all the illegal business was conducted. It was a den of criminal activity and perhaps that was why I was drawn to it. I was a lawbreaker every time I stepped into the woods. My father had been well respected around here and that's why I was accepted even as a tiny, underfed girl of twelve. Gale told me that during the Games he and Madge had helped Greasy Sae set up a collection for me and they had sent in a gift. Apparently sending anything for a tribute from 12 was so rare that only Madge knew it was possible in this district.
As I sat down for some of Greasy Sae's soup I saw Darius, one of our Peacekeepers come over. He was one of Sae's most frequent customers. He really was a pretty nice guy, for a Peacekeeper. He joked a lot and rarely threw his weight around. He was probably almost ten years older than me but looked my age with his boyish smile and bright red hair.
"Aren't you supposed to be on the train?" he asked.
"They're collecting me at noon," I answered.
"Shouldn't you look better? Maybe a ribbon in your hair or something?" He touched my braid and I smiled in spite of myself. Gale had gotten terribly angry about a year before when Darius had joked about kisses and had dragged me off to lecture me within every inch of my life about flirting with a Peacekeeper. It didn't matter that Darius didn't seem like Cray. He was still a Peacekeeper. But I still liked Darius. Perhaps if he hadn't been a Peacekeeper I might have wanted to be friends with him.
"Don't worry. By the time they get through with me I will be unrecognizable."
"Good. Let's show a little District pride for a change, Miss Everdeen?" He gave me a mock salute and went off with a jaunty step. Sae argued about a bowl and then turned to me. Her face was set in much the same expression as Gale's had been. There was a hint of anxiety. Well, she needn't worry. I had no interest in Darius.
"I can't wait for all of this to be over," I whispered.
"I know. But you got to go through it to get to the end of it. Better not be late, girl." She shooed me on and I reluctantly pulled myself together and got up.
I made it into Victor's Village, my house and Peeta's glowed in the winter snowfall like a beacon. But Haymitch's house looked as silent as a tomb and just as disreputable. As I walked in I braced myself for the scent of unwashed bodies, vomit, liqueur, and food. I waded through piles of trash to find Haymitch asleep on the kitchen table. I nudged him to get up but he didn't move. Finally, I went and opened the window and set a pot of coffee on the hearth before throwing water in his face. He jumped up and had a knife at me before I could blink. He slashed the air with it as I scurried back. I had forgotten to remove it before waking him.
"What are you doing?" He sputtered.
"You told me to wake you up an hour before they come," I replied.
"What?"
"Your idea." I shrugged.
"Why am I all wet?"
"I couldn't shake you awake. If you wanted to be babied you should have asked Peeta."
"Asked me what?" The owner of the name walked into the room as I spoke. The sound of his voice was soothing and warm but I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. I was definitely the uncooperative half of the Star-Crossed Lovers. It was a miracle he hadn't given up on me. Except of course he couldn't. Even if he wanted to find some much nicer and more manageable girl he couldn't. It was strange but the idea of that made my stomach knot unpleasantly. I watched as he crossed the kitchen with the strands of blonde hair glittering with snow. I had a sudden impulse to reach up and brush it away. He looked strong and healthy and so unlike the sick, starving boy in the Arena. His limp had gotten much better too. He set a loaf of bread on the table and turned to Haymitch.
"Asked you to wake me up without getting pneumonia?" He pulled off his shirt and used a dry part to rub himself down. His clothes were soiled and disgusting even to me which was saying something. Vic and Rory could learn about filth from him.
Peeta smiled and doused the knife with some liquor before wiping it clean on his shirt and slicing the bread. He kept us all in baked goods. I hunted. He baked. Haymitch drank. We all had our ways of coping.
"Would you like a piece?" he asked me.
"No thanks, I ate at the Hob." Normally I would have eaten but my stomach churned with the idea of what was ahead.
"What? Katniss Everdeen turning down food. We need to alert the media. You are clearly dying." He grinned at me and then turned to Haymitch, "Don't expect sympathy from me. I would have done the same thing."
Haymitch shook his head and said, "Well you two need a bit of warming up. One without the overprotective mother eh? I won't tell her. At least you aren't at each other's throats. Best friends and all. Quite sweet if a little dull."
I winched and glanced over at Peeta. We had tried playing the part at home but it was difficult. I could do it when in public but it drove me crazy at home. It felt so fake. But Haymitch was warning us that being friends wasn't enough. I thought about how lovers would have greeted each other and sighed. If I were in love I would have gone over to Peeta and kissed him. But I always thought about those things too late. And besides, it wasn't fair to him. Giving him those fake kisses were only for the cameras. Though we had cameras everywhere there were limits to our act. Our home was an exception.
"Stop being so disgusting," I replied but kept Haymitch's gaze before slipping out the back door. Peeta followed his face set. I really hoped he wasn't angry with me. I didn't need that on top of everything else.
"I'm sorry Katniss. I know how hard this is for you."
"It's not your fault," I replied. It was technically because he started the Star-Crossed Lovers thing but he hadn't expected the rule change or anything. I wouldn't probably be alive if not for the boost in sponsorship his interview had given.
"Good luck. I know you hate their beautifying." He forced a smile and gave me an awkward half hug. Yep, we would definitely need to warm up.
"I do. I'm still jealous it takes you half the time." I replied.
"Perks of being a guy?" I scowled at him and took off towards the house. I knew he knew I wasn't being serious.
As I walked into the house my mother greeted me and took my empty game bag saying breathlessly, "Someone here to see you."
I glanced behind her. A man in a tailored suit and modified features stood in the doorway. He had to be from the Capitol. My mother's face was pale as milk and her voice was unsteady with anxiety.
"I thought they weren't due till noon. Did Cinna come early?"
"No, Katniss, its…" My mother began.
"This way, please, Miss Everdeen." The man said. He gestured down the hall and I followed him obediently. I gave my mother a reassuring smile and whispered something about instructions for the tour. But as I was led to the study, a room I never entered I felt my heart race. I was wondering at my mother's paleness. It was abnormally quiet.
The Capitol man ushered me into the room and as I stepped inside the scent of blood and roses assaulted me. A small, white-haired man sat behind the desk. He seemed very familiar. Then he turned another page in the book and held up a hand to make me pause. When he looked up I recognized him. It was President Snow.
Author's Note: As you can see I haven't done too many changes to the basic structure. Katniss is still hunting and suffering from PTSD. You might notice that Darius is kinda flirting with Katniss. I am not introducing a love triangle. I promise. But I've always liked Darius and if he hadn't been ages older than Katniss and a Peacekeeper he might have been a good choice. He's got a good sense of humor and seems to be one of the few people Katniss actually tolerates. Things seem a bit awkward between Katniss and Peeta mostly because of the Victory Tour. And I wonder what President Snow has to say? Nothing good I think.