Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy which is the property of Fox and I do not own the idea of symbiotes which goes towards Venom owned by Marvel Comics.
I originally said I would not make any new stories until I finished my current ones but this is only to be one chapter and I wanted to escape the seriousness of the stories I make and create something funny. At least I hope everyone thinks its funny. I also hope I captured the personality of the charcters okay, because as I said I usually only right drama. So enjoy!
FAMILY GUY
IN
SYMBIOTE SWEETNESS
It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.
But, where are those good ol' fashion values ... ... on which we used to rely? ...Laugh and cry! He's a Family Guuuuuuuuuuuuy!
Lucky there's a Family Guy!
Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us ...
The sun rose brightly today above Quahog. It glimmered off of the polluted lake; it raised high over the bars, and strip clubs. It especially shined over Spooner Street where dreams are made real; especially over the home of the Griffins.
In the living room a giant round face raised high over a board holding and iron. This was Peter the man of the house, a man whose legacy is spread over his stupidity.
"Duh…duh…duh…duh, duh…bum, bum, bum, bum…duh… duh… duh…duh, duh!" Peter sang the Apollo 13 song as he raised the iron high in the air.
"Peter," the voice of his wife Lois came, "Peter, you put that iron down. You remember what happened last time you ironed."
FLASHBACK TO LAST TUESDAY
Peter was ironing when he noticed no one was around. He stared deeply at the iron before placing it on his face. Peter screamed and ran around the room until he hit the wall knocking him unconscious.
NOT LAST TUESDAY
"That is ridiculous, Lois. I would never do that. You are crazy." Peter told her.
Peter looked deeply at the iron and quickly placed it on his face. He screamed loud like a girl and ran around the room until he bashed into a wall rendering him uncouncious.
Brian the faithful dog walked into the room seeing Peter on the floor. He looked up at Lois and asked, "He put the iron on his face again didn't he?"
QUAHOG HOSPITAL
Peter lay in his bed wearing a bandage around his head. He sat there with Lois until the doctor walked in looking at a chart.
"So doctor what's the damage?" Lois asked.
"Oh my," the doctor looked at the chart again, "your husband is going to die."
Lois and Peter were stunned, "Oh god no!"
"Die for these milk balls." The doctor pulled out some from his pocket and ate them before looking at the chart again, "Oh no, I don't believe this."
"What doctor, what?" Lois asked.
"It's my test. I have testicular cancer," the doctor then went insane, "Oh god, oh no!" He jumped out of the window.
"Great now we don't know what your status is." Lois was upset.
The doctor came back in bloodied and covered in dirt, "It was someone else's test ha!" he chuckled, "Mr. Griffin, you'll be fine."
"Oh thank heavens." Lois was relieved.
"Unfortunately you'll have a burned face and be ugly the rest of your life." The doctor added.
"Oh crap!" Peter blurted.
The doctor left handing Lois the medical bill. When she looked at the $3,000 slip she became furious.
"Peter, this has to be one of the most stupid things you had ever done. It's going to be impossible to pay this. God, maybe I should've married the monkey across the street from my moms. At least he knows common sense."
THE MONKEY'S HOUSE
An attractive beautiful woman rubbed her finger under his hairy chin. She smiled with her deep inviting eyes.
"Say it again for me one more time." She said to the monkey.
"OOOHHH OOOHHH AAAHHH AAAHHH!" He made monkey wails.
QUAHOG HOSPITAL
"Ah well." Lois left.
Peter sat back in his bed and sulked. He really had screwed up this time. Out of all hospital bills there had been this was the worst. Now Lois was mad. There had to be something he could do.
Peter looked up into the sky and stared at the stars. He spoke, "God! I have messed up too many times to count. I need a way to make things better, a holy miracle. If you think I should get another chance please send me a sign." Peter then fell asleep.
There were so many falling stars in the night sky and one of them happened to land near Quahog hospital. Except it wasn't no star, it was a meteorite. The meteorite steamed as it was trying to cool off. Once it was cool enough something started breaking through.
The creature was black and gooey. It slithered along attaching itself to things to help it move. It didn't take long to move through Peter's window and slither over to his bed. The creature then leaped up onto the bed and began covering the body of Peter Griffin.
Darkness; that was all Peter saw until he opened up his eyes. He looked around to see everything was upside down. No, he was upside down and suspended off of a web he was hanging from.
The suit was a jet black which covered his entire body. His eyes were protected by big white coverings. Across his chest was a white spider which extended across his back.
"What the hell is this?" he asked himself, "The suite, and the power."
Peter leaped away from the wall and felt something he never felt before, freedom. Peter shot a web line which came from the top of his hand. He swung and smiled until he hit a solid wall.
"Owww!" Peter said.
THE GRIFFIN HOME
Peter came raging into the house with happiness while his family was eating breakfast. They all stared at him in the black suit.
"Hello my darling family!" Peter was happy.
"Peter what the hell are you doing, and where did you get that black suit?" Lois asked.
Peter replied, "Nothing."
Brian noticed the suit and upon closer examination asked, "Peter, is that a symbiote?"
"What makes you say that?" Peter asked.
"Well the fact that it's whipping tentacles isn't exactly subtle." Brian answered.
"No it's not." Peter told him.
"What's that?" Lois asked.
"It's an alien life form that attaches itself to a host and eventually takes them over." Brian explained.
"Don't be silly, Brian, this is the best thing that's ever happened to us, even better than the time we visited Michael Jackson." Peter said.
NEVERLAND RANCH
A squeaky bed could be heard from the bedroom.
"Mr. Jackson are you sure this is how we do the electric slide?" said a young Peter Griffin.
"Quiet bitch! OWWW!" Michael replied.
PRESENT
"We're fine." Peter sat down.
"Excuse me mister symbiote," Stewie chimed in, "but did you just refer to yourself as we?"
"No." Peter said.
Peter went to take a bite of his eggs and the symbiote moved away from Peter's mouth so the eggs could be placed in.
"Mmmm, great eggs, Lois. We're pleased." Peter smiled under the mask.
"You just did it again." Brian said.
"What?" Peter asked.
"You called yourself we." Brian said.
"Nuh uh!" Peter said.
"Yes you did." Brian told him.
"Uh, stop being such a child." Peter said.
Brian rubbed his head from the headache. He then said, "Peter, I think its time you took the suit off."
"No and you can't make us. Waaaahhhh," Peter cried as he shot a web and flew up hitting the ceiling, "owww!"
It didn't take long for Peter to run out of the house.
Chris looked over at his dad's plate and then at Lois, "Can I have his eggs." A web line then shot into the house and took the plate.
QUAHOG CHURCH
Peter sat back and thought about how he was mean to his family. He's never like this. It had to be this suit he was wearing. Nothing else could make him act this way besides his alcoholism. That's settles things, the only thing that'll make Peter Griffin an ass is alcohol. Next thing is how does this thing come off?
Peter then heard the church bell ringing and he started hurting. He clutched his head and fell to his knees.
"Oh god, not another hangover!" Peter cried.
Peter began ripping the suite off as best he could. Though the symbiote was trying to reattach itself the sonic sound of the bell made it slide off of Peter's fat tub of lard body. He watched the symbiote slip under the church.
"Guess it was the suite that had the hangover." Peter ended before heading home not noticing he was naked, "Boy sure feels drafty."
The symbiote slipped down below the bell and sank over the rectory which something unexpected happened. It went down to see a nun be banged hard by another man. It flung itself as the man stretching itself over his skinny body, large chin, and pointy nose. This had caused the man to stop having sex with the nun.
"Quagmire, are you okay."
Quagmire's eyes glowed before he replied in a dark voice, "Gitty, gitty, goo!"
THE END?