These are random little dialogues that pop up in my head in school daily. I'll re-update with new ones when i get more. All characters property of Kishimoto. Fanfic belongs to me. Lilium. Duh.

The Ultimate Showdown
Gai: Okay, Kakashi... it all comes down to this!
Kakashi: So it would seem. We've tied 647 times to date, right?
Gai: 648!
Kakashi: Oh yes. I forgot about the water balloon fight.
Naruto: WHAT!??
Sakura: -punches him hard on the head- Naruto, you baka... SHUT UP!
Naruto: Dattebayo...
Gai: So, how do we end this, eh?
Kakashi: Well, it has to be big...
Gai: It has to be manly...
Kakashi: It has to be the ender of all competitions... I've got it!
(Gai and Kakashi rip off clothes, now wearing dresses)
Gai and Kakashi: -in unison- RUNWAY SHOW!
Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto: -fall backwards unconscious-
Byakugan Backfire
Outside the women's bath house: Neji is hidden in bushes, Byakugan activated
Neji: Hehe, I see you... Oh man, Jiraiya-san would kill for this...
Lee: -steps in front of him- Neji-kun, what are you doing?
Neji: -falls backward, holding his eyes- Oh GOD! My eyes! Oh God, it BURNS!
The Spider (dedicated to Rainey and Melanie)
Gaara: -holding a spider in his hands- My pretty little friend... you're my best friend...
Temari: -sees the spider- Oh my God, Gaara! Put that down!
Gaara: -holds spider up- Wanna touch it?
Temari: -runs off-
Gaara: -chases her and drops the spider- C'mon, Temari! TOUCH IT! NYAHAHAHA!
Kankurou: -walks in and sees the spider, then steps on it- I can't believe I'm related to you bakas...
When Fangirls Attack...
Ino: Hey Sakura... who do you think has more fangirls, Neji or Sasuke?
Sakura: Hmm... well, I'd say they're tied here on FanFiction. But if I had to pick, I'd bet my money on Sasuke.
Ino: Ew, no way! Neji so kills him in the fangirl department!
Inner Sakura: CHYAAA! Don't let that blond whore badmouth Sasuke-kun!
Sakura: Yeah right, Ino-pig!
Ino: Sakura-baka!
Sakura: INO-PIG!
Ino:SAKURA-BA--
(both are cut off by a stampede of fangirls chasing Kiba down the street)
Kiba: OMG, the fangirls! SAVE ME!
Fangirls: We love you!
Ino: (sighs and brabs a steel bat) Might as well go crack some skulls...
Fetch!
Kiba: -throws stick- Fetch, Akamaru!
Akamaru: Arf! -fetches it-
Kiba: Good boy! -throws it again- Fetch!
Akamaru: -fetches it-
Inner Akamaru: ZOMG this is stupid! Make him get it for once!
Akamaru: -throws it the other direction and points to it with his paw- ARF!
Kiba: Okay! -fetches it-
Akamaru: Awooo... -pats Kiba on the head-
Stone Cold Busted
Shikamaru: Oi... what a bore.
Naruto: -in Sexy no Jutsu form- Is it boring now?
Shikamaru: -restrains a nosebleed- Go away... baka...
Naruto: -turns into Sexy no Jutsu Ino- How 'bout now?
Shikamaru: -starts twitching- Ungh... uch... go away...
Naruto: -turns into Sexy no Jutsu Ino and Sakura- How 'bout now?
Shikamaru: -flies backward with full-on nosebleed- OMFG, THAT'S THE HOTTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!
Ino (the real one) : -jumps out of bushes- NARA SHIKAMARU, YOU ARE DEAD!
Shikamaru: -runs off as Ino chases him and hits him in the head with rocks-
Stress...
Sasuke: I will kill you Itachi...
Naruto: -looks up from ramen- Huh? Where the hell'd that come from!!?
Sakura: -too busy scheming Ino's downfall to notice anything-
Sasuke: -stabs a tree randomly with a kunai- Nyahahahaha!
Naruto and Sakura: -sweatdrop- He's stressed...
Student and Sensei (dedicated to Robert)
Gai: Lee!
Lee: Hai, sensei!
Gai: Your soul has been lit with the recumbrent fires of youth! Lee! What have I taught you?
Lee: -salute- That the Lotus will always bloom twice!
Gai: Very good, my dashing young apprentice! Now, let us do five hundred laps around Konoha on our hands to celebrate! But don't mess up your hair, or it'll be a thousand squats!
Lee: Hai, Gai-sensei!
Fin. Yes, I am a retard. XOXO, Lilium