Author's note- Yet another parody. This time it's about our beloved OrgXIII. I'm sure I'm not the only who has done this, but I still feel the need to express my feelings about this. This will be multi-chaptered, as there are a lot of stereotypes for me to cover. And when I say a lot...I mean a lot...this is only the tip of the iceberg. Plus, there are a lot of members, and I couldn't possibly go over everyone and everything in one chapter.

Disclaimer- I do not own these guys.

This is a parody, in no way am I pointing fingers at anyone.

Chapter 1

Xaldin opened up the oven and smiled happily at the batch of cinnamon muffins he had prepared. He had never seen muffins so fluffy and delicious before. They were absolutely fabulous.

"These. Are. Perfect." He pulled the pastries out of the oven and smiled happily at himself. He placed them on the counter top and was about to go make some yummy frosting when Demyx suddenly ran in, screaming like a raging nymphomaniac.

"OMG-XADLY," Demyx said in a screamy, loud, and horrendously annoying tone. He grabbed the hot tray and squealed like a child on a sugar high. "ARE THESE MUFFINS?! I LOVE MUFFINS!!! THESE LOOK-OWWW!!!"

Demyx dropped the hot tray, his fingers burning in pain. The muffins fell to floor and got all nasty, but Demyx didn't care; he was too busy crying like a three year old.

"XALLLLDDDDY," he cried pathetically. He pointed to his reddened hand. "I HAS A OWIE-KISS IT!!!!"

Xaldin growled in anger as he stared at his hard work gone to waste. Despite the floor usually being white and clean, today it was rather filthy. No muffins had been spared.

"How dare you," he screamed. "Just wait till I get my non-attractive, minor character hands on you!"

Demyx broke into laughter and skipped off, giggling cheerfully as he tried to escape Xaldin.

"Youuuuuuuuuuuu can't catch me!!!!" He squealed as he ran out the door.

"Not if I can help it, brah!"

Xaldin turned around, wondering where that voice came from. He stared at Xigbar, the sniper smirking perversely at the running nobody. He had appeared out of nowhere.

"Like, I'm so going to catch you," he said, his teeth bared in excitement. He then stripped off all his clothes, wearing nothing but his Hollister Speedo, summoned up his guns, because he was oh-so trigger happy, and ran off chasing Demyx.

Xaldin was speechless.

Not that anyone cared.

Somewhere in a different room…

Marluxia was gardening in some sort of greenhouse that was never mentioned in the games as he thought about Vexen. He blushed feverly as he thought about all the romantic times they had together.

Like that one time when he ordered Axel to kill him…

Yeah, totally romantic.

Marluxia sighed heavily and cast his gay pink hair aside as he then thought about every other member he had a crush on. All of them men. Y'know, because he was super gay and all?

Like…how he thought Axel was the most handsome thing on earth despite trying to kill him in Castle Oblivion…and not really trusting him from the beginning. Love at first sight.

Or sweet little Zexion, despite sending him to the lower levels with just as hot Vexen. He hadn't shed a tear when he found out that Zexion died in the video game...If that wasn't love, then he had no idea what was.

Or innocent Demyx…despite them never appearing in a scene together.

Oh yeah, just the thought of it all made him super horny.

Marluxia got up from his super gay flower garden and walked out of his non-existent greenhouse as he then decided to rape Vexen.

Because that's what you do when you love someone. You rape them.

…And get them pregnant.

Somewhere in a hallway…

"You can't catch me," Demyx said as he tried to outrun his older superior. (For the sake of my sanity, we'll say he's low on sugar, thus forcing him to talk like a somewhat decent human.)

"Not if I can help it," Xigbar said as the then teleported and landed on top of his Demyx. Yes…right on top of Demyx…it made for easier access.

"Owies…Xiggy-wiggy, you're mean," Demyx said as he rubbed his head. He then smiled at his practically naked sex god of a Superior and quickly shrugged it off. "I still luv you though!"

"Tubular, little dude," Xigbar said as he then grabbed Demyx and carried him bridal style to his room. Demyx squirmed a bit but quickly gave up since he was a uke and they tend to do stupid things like that. Struggle and give up.

"Wanna go surfing after we DOOOOOO it," Demyx asked in his high pitched voice, breaking several sound barriers.

Xigbar stopped and put Demyx down, staring at him with a very serious expression.

"Demyx, I thought you would never ask," Xigbar said, acting as if he had just received a freaking marriage proposal.

Meanwhile, at a completely different scene…

"Oh…why do I live such a meager life," Zexion said in a sad and droll tone, his eyes cast off to the ceiling as he lay limp in the middle of the Grey Area. He took a deep breath and sighed as he grabbed a razor blade and slit his wrists. "Oh what I would do….to just end it all…." He whispered as he let the blood roll down his pale, white, Edward Cullen wrists. He blinked and tears ran down his face, smearing his makeup.

"I say, for someone who wants nothing more than to kick the bucket," Luxord said as he nursed a bottle of rum and or Jack Daniels, "You ain't particularly good at doing yourself in…mate."

"What would you know," Zexion said in a pathetic tone, waving his razor around like one would wave a lighter at a concert.

"Down the road, love, not across the street," Luxord said, pulling his sleeve up and showing Zexion the proper way of attempting to "release the pain".

Zexion could only break into tears.

"Don't cry, ducky, it'll be alright," Luxord said as he got wasted as hell, his blood alcohol level reaching a relatively high and dangerous content. But he was Luxord, so he wouldn't have to worry about dying of cirrhosis. He lazily got up from his seat, wobbling just a bit. He smiled and portaled off, eager to get yet another piercing on some sort of random body part. "Ima...ge...meh...ahm-pah-llooong..."

"I'm so alone….," Zexion said as he then decided to take Luxord advice and-

"Nuuuu," Demyx said as he grabbed the razor from Zexion, saving him (and the story's rating) from possible doom.

"…why," Zexion asked, more tears running down his emo face.

"Zexy-you can't kill yourself," Demyx said, hugging Zexion and coddling him like a child. "Zexy-Wexy-banana-fanna-so-Sexy!"

"Oh Demyx…," Zexion said as he embraced the young nobody. "I should have known better."

Demyx blew a bubble with his spit.

"You're my hero," Zexion said, kissing Demyx on the check, in love with him despite the fact that they had barely spoken a word to each other in the past.

"But Zexy-Sexy…,"Demyx said, "What if I'm not the hero…what if I'm the bad guy?"

Zexy…err, Zexion blushed.

"You…you read Twilight," he asked, because every goth and or emo read Twilight. Or at least Zexion.

"Huh, what was that," Demyx said, not having paid attention as a fly had passed by and distracted him from concentration.

"OMG-I fucking love you," Zexion said, "You have every quality I look for in a boyfriend. Annoying, immature, non-dependent, and brain damaged!"

"Oh Zexy," Demyx giggled, giving kisses to the smaller nobody, "you're like my own personal-"

…the author left the scene, unable to take anymore of this….

Meanwhile, in a less disturbing scene…

"Kingdom Heartssss," Xemnas drolled on, his eyes looking up to the spirit in the sky, wondering why…

"It is a beauty to behold," Saix said, sporting a giant Number-One-hand-glove thingy with the name "Xemnas" written on it.

"One day I will achieve Kingdom Hearts," Xemnas said, his eyes lit up with utter excitement. "And whatever my goal is in this fan fiction will be complete…"

"Wooh, that's MY Xemnas," Saix said, clapping and cheering at his leader, his cloak replaced with a "Team Xemmy" t-shirt, and sporting a huge button with Xemnas' face on it. He blew a wistle, which also sported Xemnas' face. (hint hint)

"Kingdom Hearts…"

"Alright-you go man!"

"Darkness!"

"Hell yes, you show them who's boss!!!"

"Nothing is etern-Saix, can you please stop humping my leg!!!" Xemnas said, looking down to his second in command.

Maybe choosing Saix over Xigbar wasn't a good idea…

But just as he thought of this; a huge wave suddenly came crashing in, Xigbar riding it on his purple surfboard. He jumped off his board, letting the wave take it away, along with Saix, as he landed on both feet.

"Like, Kawabunga dudes," he said in a cheery voice, sporting a tan btw, smiling happy as he turned to Xemnas. "Look man, my skin matches yours! Ain't that radical!"

Then again…

Xemnas frowned and started to argue with Xigbar, because fun and games and expressing emotions were all of his major pet-peeves. Xigbar stared back at him stupidly; everything coming out of Xemnas' mouth pretty much sounded like "blah" to him.

"…and that's why I'm boring, mean, and a huge buzz kill," Xemnas finally concluded in Xigbar's point of view.

…

Roxas looked around the empty hallways of the Castle that Never was. For some reason….he couldn't explain why; but he felt as if something were off. He had yet to see any members so far, which was a strange thing since they often looked for one another. Just because you're a nobody doesn't mean you don't want to simply have a talk with someone or play video games.

Roxas sighed and continued on, hoping he would come across someone. Heck, he'd even go for Larxene, just as long as he wasn't completely alone. Not that he was emo or anything, he just liked the company.

"Maybe they're in the Grey Area," he muttered to himself as he hurried off.

Little did Roxas know he was being stalked by a certain redhead.

TBC

Well, I hoped you enjoyed what I've produced so far. If there is anything in particular you want me to point out, feel free to ask. I don't care what it is; if it's annoying and/or has to do with these guys, I'll consider it. Thanks again and reviews are always appreciated.