SUMMARY: Sometimes the past is only a fraction of a memory, but what happens when the past slowly comes back to you, and brings back more memories than you wanted? When Lexie Grey started as an intern at Seattle Grace hospital, she never would have expected for the past to bite her in the ass three years in the future. But now, it's all coming back, especially when she finally agrees to have a drink with Mark Sloan, playboy of the hospital.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: In all honesty, this is a storyline I came up with while creating a role-play group on . I never exactly thought about making this into a fanfiction, but seeing as how in the role-play it will go differently than how my mind will write it down, I figured; why not have my own fanfiction about it, let my entire creativity go loose. There will be drugs, sex, violence and everything else involved in this fanfiction, so if you can't handle that, I suggest to not continue reading, especially not seeing as how it will start from the very first chapter.

Honestly, I'm going to write this the way I see fit. I explain, I won't have a specific point of view in mind. I think I'm just going to write it from Lexie's point of view, to Mark's point of view in another chapter, to mixed even when they are in scenes together. It all depends how I make the chapter go really, but you'll figure it out. Reviews are most definitely appreciated, especially seeing as how this is my first fanfiction in four years, so if I'm doing something wrong, I'd love some guidelines!

I'm going to put up a timetable on top of every chapter, underneath the title, just to make it easier for people. Okay, now that I'm done writing all of this non-chapter related stuff, time for the first chapter!

CHAPTER 1: Untitled.

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

JANUARY 15TH, 2007 – 8PM.

"Just get the hell out of here, you ungrateful piece of shit!"

The voice filled her ears loud and harsh, her bottom lip trembling as she felt the tears starting to build in her eyes. It wasn't the first time her father was yelling this loud, but it was the first time she ever saw her sister look at her like that; fear filling her eyes. Clenching her trembling lower lip in between her teeth, she backed away slowly, her hands reaching for the doorknob behind her.

"I – I – I'm sorry…"

The words barely escaped her lips as a whisper, her eyes moving to seek her sister's comforting eyes that would tell her everything would be okay, but when they stopped on her sister, all she saw was worry, fear and disapproval. It made her heart break. She could literally feel it being ripped in half, the tears forming in her eyes before feeling one of them roll down her cheeks. Quickly reaching her hand up to wipe it away, she shook her head, closing her eyes.

"Lex… Don't."

Those two words were the only thing that escaped Meredith's lips, before Lexie turned the doorknob, swung the door open and bolted out of the house in a matter of ten seconds. The mere fact that her own sister wouldn't support her, wouldn't support the decisions she had made, was what made her angry. Ever since their mother had died, everything had changed. Their father was now an alcoholic who couldn't seem to care less about their daughters, Meredith had dated someone her father had disapproved of before she passed away, and ended up pregnant, and Lexie? Lexie had started taking drugs and do absolutely everything her mother disapproved of.

Letting her feet carry her away from the house as fast as she could, Lexie could feel the tears stream down her cheeks unable to stop them. Mentally, she was cursing herself. She hated being shown vulnerable, but the mere sight of the only two family members that were left in her life, the way they looked at her with disgust and disapproval just made all of the emotions come out.

When she had finally reached her destination, her feet slowing down to a walking pace making it easier for her to catch her breath, she tucked her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. Glancing down at the ground, she quickly brought her hand up to wipe the streaks of leaked mascara, not exactly caring if she looked like a complete mess or not, she had no one else to impress. By going to her father and sister's home to practically beg for money to buy drugs, her boyfriend had officially left her, but not without a few bruises added to her petite frame. That was one of the main reasons Meredith or their father hadn't given her money. He had been a bad influence to her. He had always been. From the minute she had brought him home for a family dinner, to the minute she had took her very first pill of ecstasy. He was the reason Lexie was no longer Lexie, but – like her father had yelled at her so many times before – a drug addicted whore.

Taking in a few deep and steady breaths, making sure the red underneath her eyes only seemed like fatigue, she turned the corner that would lead into one of the many dark alleys she had become so familiar with. Giving an occasional smile or shrugging off an arm from her shoulders, she was quite used to everyone who hung around in the alleyway. It was her third home, her second one being, well was Christian's apartment. She could feel her bottom lip tremble at the mere thought of Christian, the one man who she still loved, despite the beatings and the bad habits he had gotten her in.

"Lexie, there you are!"

The voice behind her made her freeze in her tracks instantly, lifting her head up before turning around to stare at the face that matched the voice. Blinking at the sight of Christian in front of her, she didn't even know what to do. Part of her wanted to just run away, not look at him anymore, but another part of her was so relieved to see him, not knowing what else to feel. Shrugging her shoulders while looking at him, she tilted her head to the side lightly before shaking her head.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I've got some, enough to get us through a couple of days."

That instantly made a smile form on her lips, before she crossed the short distance towards Christian's well build body and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. Looking up at him, a smile formed on her lips once more, before pressing her lips against his jawline gently, which easily caused an approval groan escape Christian's lips.

"Come on, let's go and have some fun."

Hearing the whispered words against her ear, Lexie easily nodded as she wrapped one arm around his waist and rested her head against his shoulders. She knew that this would most likely be a stupid idea, especially after the fight they previously had, but her emotions and addiction was taking the very best of her.

The short walk towards Christian's apartment took only ten minutes. As soon as the front door closed behind them she could feel his lips against her own, his hands eagerly roaming along her body exploring every inch, covered or not. Feeling her breathing increase rapidly, she eventually pushed him away from her, her eyes filled with lust, except there was another feeling pushing away the lust; addiction.

"Let's do this. Please."

Looking up at him through her eyelashes, she licked her lips slowly, knowing full and well that would make him cave rapidly. Feeling his hand on the small of her back, a smirk easily grew on her lips while he led them to the couch. Setting her petite frame down on his lap once Christian had taken a seat on the couch, she searched around in the pockets of his jacket to find the pills he had spoken about earlier on in the alleyway.

"Calm down, beautiful. I've got it right here."

Noticing the small bag that was being pulled out of the pocket of his jeans, she bit her lower lip eagerly, her eyes moving to look over at him. Watching him intently, she kept her eyes locked on him when he pulled out the first pill and popped it into his mouth. From what she could tell, it looked like ecstasy, but he had never told her what it was. However, she knew it would get them off, she knew it would bring them on a completely different planet than earth. Opening her mouth when he brought the pill to her lips, she stuck out her tongue and waited until he placed it on her tongue before swallowing it in.

After they both swallowed a couple of more pills, Lexie more than Christian with the way he was putting more on her tongue, Lexie could already see the different shapes and feel the peaceful sensations going through her. A light chuckle escaped her lips before she brought them down against his and kissed him deeply, her tongue tracing his lower lip lightly.

"I'm going to get us something to drink, okay babe? I won't be long."

Nodding at his words, she was surprised he wasn't as far gone as she was, then again, he hadn't taken as many as she had, maybe it took more time for his body to be affected by the pills. As soon as he left the apartment, Lexie rested her head back against the couch, her eyes falling shut for just a couple of seconds before opening them up once more and looking up at the ceiling. Sweat was starting to break out on her skin, a shiver running along her spine. Pushing herself up from the couch, she swallowed deeply and tried to stable herself on her feet. As soon as she noticed the room spinning around her slowly, Lexie knew something was wrong.

The sound of the door slamming shut behind her was making her head seem like it was exploding. Grasping her head with both of her hands, she let a loud guttural groan escape her lips, before wrapping one of her arms around her waist, her legs running as fast, and as steady, as she could towards the one place she knew she would be safe. Or at least where she knew they could help her; the hospital. Yet the question was; would she get there in time? Would they be able to help her in time? Or would it all be too late? It all depended on her, on her feet, her strength and more so, her willpower.

The wall had quickly become her only support while she made her way through the empty streets. It was impossible for her to steady herself, to find a balance without tumbling forward from the dizziness. Sweat had soon covered her entire body, and she could feel herself trembling uncontrollably. This is it, she thought to herself as she finally came to a stop. I'm going to die. Resting her back against the wall, she felt her petite frame weaken, the trembling becoming worse. It was hard to keep her eyes open, but the pain was slowly fading. Every single pain from the past couple of years was slowly escaping her body, only fear filling it. She didn't want to die, and even if she did, this wasn't how she wanted to die. But it felt like she was, because she could feel unconsciousness starting to take over with every minute that passed until darkness was slowly filing her mind.