Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly, Sam and Freddie would be together. Alas, I don't.

Third Time's A Charm

"And remember that time we got kidnapped by that psycho chick and she strapped Spencer to a wheel and fed us weird Norwegian food?" Carly laughed as she sipped from the wine glass in her hand.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Freddie said with a grimace. "I think I went home and washed my mouth out with soap after her attack on me…which, if I remember correctly, neither of you even bothered to try and save me from," he stared pointedly at the blonde and brunette in front of him.

"Who are you kidding? I'm sure you loved it. That was the most action you'd seen in a while, Benson," Sam said with a laugh.

Freddie opened his mouth to protest, but Sam cut him off.

"And before you try to deny it, I know it's true because the last person you had been with was me and that was months ago. Anyway, you should have been thrilled," Sam replied with a smirk, before raising the brown bottle to her lips.

"Hahaha, Puckett," Freddie said as he rolled his eyes.

"And yet he doesn't deny it," Sam snickered, causing Carly to chuckle quietly between sips.

"Can you believe how long ago that was?" Carly said, a vaguely reminiscent look upon her face.

"It's definitely hard to believe," Freddie smiled fondly.

Carly was quiet before speaking up again, this time rather wearily. "I just…I just love you guys so much."

"Okay, kid. It's time you lay off the white wine," Sam joked as she took the diminutive brunette's glass out of her hand. It was a known fact that Carly Shay was the epitome of a lightweight. She couldn't handle much before she was a mess…an emotional, weepy mess.

"Sam, I'm fine," Carly said with a laugh. "It's just, I can't believe we're almost 30."

"Hey, I'm 24. How is that almost 30? That's not almost 30. Do not rush this whole ageing thing, Carls," Sam interjected.

Carly continued, ignoring her comment.

"I mean, I'm engaged and I'm getting ready to move to New York with Ben. And Sam, the club is doing so well and you're basically married to Shawn who-"

Sam cut her off.

"Carly, seriously? I am not 'basically married'. We're hardly even dating. We're just…having fun and…"

"Spending all of your time together, going out on dates, basically living together," Carly said with a smirk.

Sam went to object, but Carly cut her off.

"How many times in the past week have you spent the night at Shawn's?" Carly asked knowingly.

Sam stared down into the brown bottle she held in her hands, swishing the amber liquid around distractedly.

"Exactly," Carly replied smugly.

"What does it even matter that I spent the night at Shawn's? We're hooking up, not confessing our love for each other or anything."

"Does he have a place in his bathroom cabinet and his dresser drawer for your stuff?"

Sam said nothing. Carly had gotten her there.

"Basically married," Carly joked in a singsong voice. "Next thing you know, Shawn will be asking you to move in with him."

Sam avoided Carly's eyes, staring determinedly at the table.

She knew well enough that she and Shawn were very seriously involved and had been for a while. She knew it wasn't just hooking up and having fun. She knew there was more to it than that. However, she didn't like admitting it, because she felt like admitting it made things final. Finality made her feel trapped. While Carly may have been ready for finality and till death do us part, Sam Puckett certainly wasn't.

Suddenly, Sam was pulled from her thoughts by the loud thud of Freddie's glass hitting the hard wood of the table. She glanced over at him, a strangely strained look on his face.

"Geeze, you trying to break your glass, Hulk?" she joked.

"Glass slipped," he mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

Sam gave him a perplexed look before Carly spoke up again.

"And Freddie, things are going so good with that tech company," she paused as she waggled her eyebrows in Freddie's direction "and with Vivian."

Sam felt a slight twist in her stomach at the name. She had never liked Vivian. A petite 22-year-old red head with upturned features, Vivian came from money back east. Freddie had met her while on a business trip to New York. Vivian's father was the CEO of the tech company Freddie worked for. She was an aspiring actress, and, based on some of her work Sam had seen (at Freddie's insistence), a rather terrible one at that. From the handful of times Sam had met her when she'd visited Seattle, she had gathered a few very key (and irritating) things about her.

She was an absolute ditz.

She had a grating habit of laughing at everything Freddie said. (Which Sam never understood because it had always been a well-established fact for her that Freddie Benson was not funny. He was the antithesis of funny.)

She apparently lived off a strict diet of vegetables and only vegetables. On her last trip to Seattle, they'd all gone out to a fancy steakhouse restaurant to celebrate Freddie's recent promotion at work. She'd ordered a salad. At a steakhouse. A salad at a place that specialized in meat. In the world of Sam Puckett, that was certified blasphemy.

Freddie blushed slightly.

"Speaking of which, since she's flying into town tomorrow morning I should probably head home and get a few hours of sleep before I have to pick her up from the airport."

"How long is she going to be here for?" Carly asked.

"Just three days. She would stay longer but-"

"-But thank goodness she can't," Sam muttered loudly.

"Sam, promise you'll be nice while she's here. Please? She's a really nice girl if you give her a chance. I don't know why you don't like her. Jealous?" Freddie joked.

"Been there, done that, Benson…Twice if you've forgotten," Sam replied without missing a beat. She was referring to the two previous times she and Freddie had dated. The first time they'd dated had been for 2 or so months in 11th grade. The second time had been from the end of their senior year of high school until the summer before their sophomore year of college.

Both times it had ended mutually and on decent enough terms. That wasn't to say that it hadn't hurt, especially the first time, because it had. It had hurt like hell.

It was just that, every time they tried, it never seemed to work out. This, of course, didn't take away from the feelings they both continued to carry for one another for quite some time after their final break up. These persistent feelings resulted in regular hook ups and undefined flings throughout college, with an understanding that maybe a traditional relationship just wasn't right for them. Maybe they just didn't work under those sorts of constraints and expectations.

At least that was how it worked until Sam met Shawn and Freddie, a few months later, met Vivian.

With that, it was as if they'd come to some silent agreement that whatever they had been before, they weren't anymore or, maybe more appropriately, they couldn't be.

"Besides, I don't like her because she's an irritating ditz who laughs at everything you say, which doesn't make sense because you're not funny, and who apparently lives strictly off of lettuce. Who does that?"

"Vegetarians, Sam. She's a vegetarian. How many times do I-" Freddie began.

Carly cut him off, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"I'll make sure she plays nice, Freddie."

Freddie glared at Sam before continuing.

"Anyways, she starts filming that new movie next week so she needs to be back in New York early."

Sam opened her mouth to speak again, no doubt attempting to spout a sarcastic comment about Vivian's talent (or lack thereof), when Carly gave her a pointed look.

"Play nice, Sam."

Sam rolled her eyes, before sighing and begrudgingly giving in.

"Okay, mom."

Carly laughed.

"Yeah, I should probably get going too. Ben and I are meeting with a wedding planner tomorrow morning. Oh, by the way, Sam, Shawn, Ben and I were all going to go out to lunch tomorrow. Freddie, you and Vivian should come."

Freddie was silent a moment before replying.

"Sam will play nice?" he asked with a smirk as he glanced at Sam.

Though she hated to admit it, that smirk shook her resolve in seconds.

It always had.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll be nice," she rolled her eyes. "But you're paying the bill for my drinks tonight, Benson."

"Fair enough," he laughed as he pulled out his wallet.

.

.

.

.

.

"Samantha! It's so great to see you again," Vivian gushed as she stood from the table and wrapped her thin arms around Sam.

Sam stood stiff and uncomfortable in Vivian's grip.

"Nice to see you too," she mumbled half-heartedly.

Vivian wore a short black dress and impossibly high heels. Her long red hair cascaded down her shoulders almost reaching her lower back.

"Oh, you look so good," she continued to gush as she let go of Sam and sat back down in her seat.

Sam and Shawn had just arrived at the restaurant and Sam already wanted nothing more than to leave.

There was only so much of Vivian's "bubbly" personality that she could take and only so much "playing nice" that she could manage. Maybe it was unfair of Sam, but there was just something about the girl that had always gotten under her skin. She couldn't help it. Sam either liked you or she didn't. And Vivian? She did not like. Admittedly, the list of people she did like was rather short to begin with.

"Honestly, if my Freddiebear and I weren't so in love, I'd be a little worried about this one," she giggled as she pointed a long manicured finger at Sam.

And there it was.

Freddie, whose head had been buried deep in the menu, looked up, shooting a surprised look at Vivian, followed by an awkwardly apologetic one at Sam.

Confusedly, Sam stared back at Vivian. She called him Freddiebear? Who was she? His mother? And worried? Why would she be worried, even jokingly so? There was nothing for her to be worried about. At all.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sam could see Carly eyeing the situation curiously.

"Well, don't worry about it. Kid is all yours. Been there, done that," she laughed.

Behind her, Sam heard Shawn awkwardly clear his throat.

"Oh and this," Sam began as she placed her hand on Shawn's arm for emphasis, "is Shawn."

Reaching out a hand to Vivian he added, "I'm Sam's boyfriend."

Vivian politely shook his hand, eyeing him closely as if silently sizing him up.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Shawn," Vivian said finally, before tearing her attention away from them and turning back towards Freddie.

She leaned over towards him and whispered something in his ear, causing him to blush slightly. She giggled as she leaned in further and kissed him (with far more intensity than was necessary in a public place where people ate.) When she pulled back, Sam caught her eye and she couldn't help but see a hint of self-satisfaction painted across her tiny, upturned features.

It was enough to make anyone barf.

Sam sighed inwardly.

It was going to be a long afternoon.