Tokyo Ghoul-Negative

Chapter 1 – Up Late

"Ahhhh. Okay, alright, this is good, I like this," the twelve year-old boy was on his hands and knees, his palms pressing against the rough ground, the toes of his worn shoes digging in just as hard. Blowing a strand of silver hair from his vision, he glanced to his left, saw three boys, looked to his right, and noted nineteen other boys all around the same age as him. Not to mention the crowd of random people gathered around to view what was about to happen, with pent up excitement written all over their faces.

"I'm going to have fun," he smiled inwardly, awkwardly even, looking down as he began to blur the sounds and shapes around him until everything was an incoherent mess of noise and colours.

"Fun," he repeated to himself, almost in a trance as he dangled over the edge of his focus. What was left of his awareness caught the sound of a sharp voice and his ears pricked up to the sound of it. Almost instinctually, he pushed his hands further into the dirt and rooted his feet in place as he raised his backside into the air.

These actions immediately shook up the butterflies in the boy's stomach, and he thought he might have had second thoughts about the situation he was in. If it weren't for his painfully useful self-encouraging words he would have stood up and left right then and there.

"I'm definitely not nervous."

Not nervous?

He suddenly let out an obnoxious snort. Scrunching up his face, he giggled uncontrollably. "Oh geez, was that a joke?" This was his warm-up. If you could even call it that.

His body was still twitching with choked laughter when the next thing his ears caught was an even sharper crack from his right that acted as a signal for him to push forward with an explosion of energy, propelling himself in front of the other boys instantly, smashing his way through the thick bubble he had wrapped himself with just moments before.

"Ah."

Suddenly his hearing was crisp and his vision was sharp. He felt the fabric of his racing attire whip against his body as he soared through the air. The crowd was already roaring, and he realised he had only just touched the ground metres in front of his opponents, his legs had pushed him so hard. He hit the ground running, straight past the first lot of spectators, right onto the considerably thinner lot around the middle where he heard a familiar voice grace his ears with his name.

"KAZUKI!"

He turned to spot his two best friends in the crowd, a girl and a boy the same age as him. The girl standing up, leaning back and cupping her hands around her mouth to scream even louder. The boy, on the other hand was standing stiff as a pole clapping with next to no enthusiasm, a little too comfortably in Kazuki's opinion.

Kazuki shifted himself mid stride to turn to his friends. He looked at the girl and locked her bloodshot eyes with an intense gaze of his own, shaking his fists violently in front of him. "MIYUKI!"

He then trained his eyes on the boy and grinned, and he could've sworn he heard his friends claps get louder as he gave the same treatment. Or maybe not claps, rather, the drumming of boys' feet growing near. "TATSUYA-Aaah crap, they're close!"

He heard a girl's shrill voice pass behind him as he turned his head to face forward. "RUN KAZUKI, GO!"

So, he ran.

He righted his balance as quickly as his legs could move and untangle, which was considerably fast, and sprinted as hard as he could. He soon widened the gap between him and his opponents. His legs began to burn furiously, and Kazuki grinned to himself. He tore through the air like a rocket mid-way through take-off. When his feet weren't slamming into the earth as he blew through the track, he felt as light as air. As if he were flying.

When he could finally see the finish line everything slowed down. He decided to close his eyes, halfway at first and then completely. When he felt the finish line whip against his waist, Kazuki stuck a leg out to stop himself a little too abruptly and jarred his leg against the ground. He cried out an unrecognisable profanity which consisted of more than a few words, lasted until he landed face first into the dirt and made him glad that he had spluttered the vulgarity unclearly. Even more so when a fairly large circle of spectators gathered themselves around where he lay sprawled across the ground. Soon after, he heard the sound of Miyuki shouting and she slipped through the first row of people and into Kazuki's sight, Tatsuya in tow. "Kazuki." She smiled at him warmly.

He smiled back at her too, albeit rather awkwardly considering his position and the fact he hadn't seen her all day until now. "Miyuki, hello…"

…Yesterday, Kazuki and Miyuki had decided to meet at the entrance to the annual track and field carnival, along with Tatsuya. Kazuki often stayed over at Miyuki's house for dinner, and sometimes overnight due to his parent's work. They would often have meetings with their clients over dinner and wouldn't be finished until late. 'These are extremely important meetings, Kazuki,' his father would tell him, 'please be patient with your Mother and me. I promise we will have this taken care of in no time.' He would look sympathetic, sighing a long breath when Kazuki returned an unimpressed expression. 'Just please bear with us Kazuki…'

'…And that was a year ago!' Kazuki would complain to Miyuki on one of their sleepovers. The boy showed no sense of shame or embarrassment when he shared the odd sleepless night with his close-friend-that-just-so-happened-to-be-a-girl. Miyuki, on the other hand would blush a deep red and try to shield her heavily clothed body pathetically when Kazuki would sit at the side of her futon to rant about his problems. At the time, Miyuki was wearing a fluffy looking light blue jumper and matching pants, whereas Kazuki was only wearing a simple t-shirt and shorts. It was dark, the only light being from the moon cutting through gaps in the window. It wasn't a particularly cold night either. 'A year ago!' he repeated.

She put on her best sympathetic face and raised her body to meet him at eye level, 'Well, Kazuki, maybe they're just having a few problems.'

'Well, Miyuki,' the girl pressed her lips together and swallowed as Kazuki's face gradually moved closer to hers, 'I kind of figured they were having problems so I asked my father.'

Smiling nervously, she raised her eyebrows. 'And?'

'And,' he repeated, 'He said everything was fine!' He sulked.

'Kazuki,' she hesitated and her eyes wondered around the room, searching for her next sentence, 'Maybe your father has reasons for not telling you anything.' She noticed her friend was staring at her and she quickly averted her eyes in the opposite direction. She paused for a long while. 'Maybe…'

He scratched his head in annoyance, 'Ahhh, Miyuki, are you even paying attention?'

She finally met his deep, dark grey eyes, and he met her faint reddish-brown ones, 'Huh?'

'Wow, really? You're not, aren't you?' He pretended to look overly disappointed.

She gazed at him innocently, and her eyes were watering a little bit. 'I'm not, what?'

He huffed, 'Dammit, Miyuki, you've just been staring at the wall since I started talking to you.' She opened her mouth and he grabbed her by the shoulders. Not so hard to hurt her, but enough to startle the resting girl.

She chirped out a sharp 'Eep!' when he made contact with her shoulders. 'What are you doing?'

'Miyuu!' he whined.

'M-M-Miyu?'

'All my father says is "Soon" this, and "Later" that. "Maybe" this, and "Probably" that.' He clenched his teeth together in loud frustration, 'Nnnngggh! I can't take it anymore! I want an answer Yuki!'

'Y-Yuki!? A-and wait, an answer to what?' she couldn't possibly be any more confused than she was at that moment.

'An answer, Miyu! I want it! I need it! I nee-'he was interrupted halfway by a very girly squeal, courtesy of Miyuki. Kazuki followed her eyes to the now open door and found Miyuki's mother standing there with her arms crossed, visibly unimpressed. She was clearly sleeping only moments before. She was sporting a fairly crumpled white collared button-up t-shirt and pants. Kazuki let out an even girlier squeal at the sight of her. He swivelled his head around to meet Miyuki's shocked eyes. It was probably the moaning, or maybe it was him yelling "I want it, I need it" over and over ag-.

Oh.

Oops.

'Y-You see, Miss Nakahara, this isn't what it looks like' he looked over to Miyuki to gain her agreement and when she noticed him, she looked back to her mother and nodded wildly. Although when she did it, she looked better suited to a mosh pit at a heavy metal concert, as far as Kazuki and probably even Miyuki's mother was concerned.

Miss Nakahara raised an eyebrow at him. 'Oh? What does it look like, Kazuki?'

Kazuki once again reached out to Miyuki with pleading eyes, but this time she offered no assistance and instead sat next to him wide eyed and blushing, looking at nothing in particular. 'I, uh.' He fidgeted with his fingers. 'I have no idea, I think.'

'Neither do I, what you two do in here doesn't really concern me too much,' Miyuki's mother relaxed her eyebrow and questioned the boy further. 'But what does concern me is your noise level, I find it quite rude to be yelling at night in another person's house.'

Kazuki sat up straight and blurted out his next sentence, 'Rude? Do you want to know something even ruder? The fact that my father won't even explain why I never get to spend time with him and my mother!'

Miss Nakahara tilted her head slightly. 'Hm? Who was being rude?'

Kazuki quickly realised what he had said and did what any emotionally frustrated boy would do. Immediately apologise. 'Please forgive my rudeness!'

Nakahara-san's gaze softened at the boy and she even giggled a little at his position. Hunched over on his knees, pressing his forehead into her daughters futon as she sat next to him confused at the situation. 'Okay, okay, please, raise your head. You're making it awkward.' She smirked at him. 'Although it's not as if it wasn't awkward in here already.'

He returned to his previous sitting position and waited for her to speak. He almost looked like a puppy waiting for a treat.

Miyuki's mother pulled a chair from the desk at the side of the room and sat in it comfortably. She eyed Kazuki carefully and asked him, 'Do you dislike coming here? Do you find us, say, uncomfortable to be around, by any chance?' By now Miyuki was watching him too, from the corner of her eye, preparing herself for his answer.

Kazuki was taken aback by the sudden question, but he didn't show it. He felt the mother and daughter's stares bore into both sides of his head, urging him to speak up. 'Of course not, Miss Nakahara.' He gestured to the two of them, 'You two may even be the nicest people I've ever met.'

Both Miyuki and her mother seemed pleased by his kind answer. Miyuki blushed for the hundredth time that night and her mother looked at him sweetly.

'That's very sweet of you, Kazuki. The fact that you think that should make it easier for you to wait for your parents to sort their problems out in the meantime.'

Kazuki listened patiently, so she continued.

'You have only asked your father for an explanation I assume?'

'Yes?'

'Ah, I understand now,' she closed her eyes and nodded to herself. 'You should try asking your mother next time. Men are useless.'

Kazuki sat still and nodded slowly.

Miss Nakahara held the same expression and when she realised Kazuki was taking her seriously, she decided to let him know.

'I was joking. It was a joke.'

'Oh!' Now it was Kazuki's turn to burn red in the cheeks in embarrassment while Miyuki snickered to herself beside him. 'Sorry.'

Miss Nakahara waved her hands in front of her in apology. 'No, no, I should be sorry. I was being an idiot.' She laughed a little.

From what Kazuki had heard, Miyuki's mother had been taking care of Miyuki on her own, ever since her husband suddenly disappeared, years ago. Shortly after that, Kazuki's family and the Nakahara's became very close, and Kazuki and Miyuki became very good friends. Over the years, the two children had spent an incredible amount of time together. This time included time where Kazuki would also get to know Miyuki's mother.

At first, not long after her husband had gone missing, Miss Nakahara was understandably distressed. Or, depressed would have suited her better. She was never panicky, only internally shaken up by the events that no one bothered to explain to Kazuki, or even Miyuki, apparently. For weeks, Miss Nakahara's behaviour was nothing short of what you'd expect from a person who had recently lost a loved one. She would always look deflated, and she would never look at anyone directly. She would always look past everyone, gazing into the distance with hollow, glazed eyes. As if constantly searching for something she knew she wold never find.

She was disinterested with what anyone was saying to her. Not that she ever actually spoke to anyone either. Anyone other than Kazuki's parents or Miyuki, that is. Miss Nakahara never went outside and she seldom spoke or even let anyone get close to Miyuki, so it was a while until Kazuki had the chance to befriend her.

But eventually, the surprisingly less shaken up Miyuki brought her mother back up into a reasonable state. In no time, Kazuki warmed up to her nicely. Miss Nakahara was a very pleasant person, whose little jokes were well received and personality was bright enough to lighten any room or warm any heart. She seemed the responsible type, but if you got to know her better, you would realise that she can be rather playful for a thirty-two year old mother.

'No, but really,' Miss Nakahara now looked at Kazuki seriously. 'There are just some things that kids as young as you just can't be told. You probably wouldn't understand any of it if you were told anyway. No offence.' She added.

'No offence to you as well Miss Nakahara, but for your information, I will be a very impressive twelve years old tomorrow,' he said smugly.

She seemed to cringe slightly. 'Oh, yes. That's good for you Kazuki, but I'm being serious here.'

Kazuki huffed. 'So Miss Nakahara, do you understand them, my parents? Do you know what kind of problems they're having?

A blanket of heavy silence enveloped the room and settled for a moment before the woman spoke again.

'I might.'

Kazuki's eyes shone. 'Really! Oh, tell me Miss Nakahara. Please?' he begged.

She sighed. 'Listen Kazuki, this isn't about what I know. It's about how you're going to deal with not knowing. See, in this world there are things that are just not worth knowing. There are things in my life that I wish I hadn't seen, things I wish I didn't have to go through. But, I saw them anyway. And now I have to live with it, that weight on my shoulders, the memories that I have to keep to myself. For the people I love, for their sake they can't know because if they did, they would have to carry the burden too, and bear the temptation of reaching out to others for help and weighing them down as well.'

Kazuki sat, in shock at the now completely emotionally exposed Miss Nakahara. He didn't dare take his eyes from her, but Miyuki must have been shocked too. From the corner of his eye, Kazuki could make out the outline of her body facing her mother, unmoving like he was. They had watched the usually composed woman descend from a friendly and mischievous attitude, to a teary, wavering mess. In under a minute, the air in the room became so thick that he found it hard to breathe, and struggled with the simple task as Miyuki's mother went on, despite the state she was in.

She was looking at her hands now. 'It's hard, you know? Not telling, holding back. It's harder than you think. Even now, I want to tell you, about that night.' She swallowed. Her voice was shaking, and so was she. But nevertheless, she continued. 'Your parents are amazing, Kazuki. To be able to bear years' worth of painful experience and not buckle under the pressure. Amazing, unlike me.'

This was where Miyuki spoke for the first time in a while, and she even startled Kazuki with her sudden voice. 'Mother! You know that isn't true.' He looked at her, and there were unshed tears in her eyes. These tears made him feel uncomfortable to the point where he felt the need to say something. But even he knew this wasn't something he could just butt into.

He didn't have the right.

'What you don't understand is, Kazuki, it takes a lot to hold yourself back for someone else's sake. Remember that next time you speak to your parents, and they disappoint you, or change the subject, or make a pathetic excuse. Remember that they do it for you.' She wiped her eyes, and the two children did as well. Miss Nakahara stood from her chair weakly and slowly walked to the door. 'That's all I have to say to you Kazuki. I'm sorry I ruined your night.'

When she closed the door quietly, Kazuki could hear her feet drag across the floor down the hallway, to her room, were the door clicked shut before he replied meekly, 'No. Thank you, Miss Nakahara.'

The two friends sat in awkward silence for a while until Miyuki spoke up. 'Tomorrow is the second last day of summer vacation.'

'Yeah, my birthday, too. August nineteenth.' He said flatly.

'Also, I hear you were invited to a race that involves every ward in Tokyo, and they're holding it here in the fourth ward on a track nearby. Are you aware of this?' she asked.

'Yeah, they asked me to come and run, to "represent the youth of the fourth ward" or something.' He replied, uninterested.

The conversation was slow and after every reply, there would be a period where they would drift off in their own thoughts. As if each question was from a test, and their answer determined the direction of their future.

Ah, yes.

The word boring would suit this moment perfectly. Save for the show stopper Miyuki's mother had performed. Maybe the two knew that whatever they said, or whatever they did, the conversation would never reach the point it did when Miss Nakahara was speaking. The least they could do was speak about the future. Tomorrow, however boring it may be.

'Kazuki, you know you can ask me to come and watch if you're feeling lonely about it. I'll even bring Tatsuya.' She asked quietly.

'It's not like I wanted to go. I was thinking of not going, myself.' He stated matter-of-factly.

'Well, are you going or not? I need to know so I can call Tatsuya and we can both turn up.' Miyuki was starting to sound a little annoyed.

Kazuki sat in thought. Not unlike what they both did not too long ago. But this time, he made an effort to look like he was trying to make his mind up. 'I probably should go. It's not like I had anything else planned, and it sounded like they need me. So I guess you can come. If you want to.'

She sighed. 'Idiot, if I didn't want to go, I never would have asked you in the first place.'

'Okay, so if you think about it, the race is, well, a race. It'll be pretty quick. How does ice cream on the way home sound?' he suggested.

'Sounds fun.' He looked at her and once again for the first time in a while, she smiled at him. That same warm smile he had seen over and over for years, and it got him every time. His breath caught in his throat and he spluttered a little.

'Are you alright?' Miyuki leaned over to him, looking concerned.

He turned his back to her, blushing. Thinking he was an idiot to be acting like this. 'I'm fine,' he said quietly, 'Good night, Miyuki.'

She was still smiling. 'Good night, Kazuki.'

By then she rested slumped over him slightly, and they stayed like that for a while, resting. Soon she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Brushing a tuft of sunset orange hair behind her ear, he followed suit, and when their bodies went limp, they fell further into each other.

They stayed like that through the night unmoving, together…

…She was watching him.

That girl with eyes blue as a cloudless sky, and just as endless. The girl with light blue hair cropped just above her relaxed brow, falling to the nape of her neck, but trimmed neatly. An elitist, he thought.

She definitely looked the part.

She was wearing a purple pleated skirt that reached below her knees and a black blazer over a smart-looking dress shirt. She had just stepped from the wall she was leaning on when he opened the door to his house, back from school. She doesn't own a school uniform, apparently. School had just ended.

Wide eyed he looked at her, and she held his gaze strongly, half-lidded though, from a higher angle. She was a hand's length taller than him. A year or two older.

He felt his arm rise and wave at her, slow, as if he was being forced to do so. Her lips parted, time stopped.

Then, a stern voice. 'Don't speak to it.'

'Sorry.'

Tall figures passed and brushed him away from the door. A man, a woman, a couple of teenagers; all sharply dressed. Their stares chilled him to the core, froze him on the spot, cold enough for him to shudder and awaken.

I'm sorry.

'Are you going to run again?'

I have to. Don't I? I have to…

…Kazuki eyed the still room sleepily. Spears of the rising sun's light pierced the darkness through the curtains. He could see shining specks of dust floating in the light and he followed one all the way to the peak of his nose, where he blew on it softly. It spiralled and twisted out of control until he could no longer spot it amongst the others.

Miyuki began to stir and she tightened herself around his waist. His eyes flew open and heat rose to his cheeks. Silently and slowly, as to not wake her, he pried her hands away from his torso and stood up. He rubbed the sleep from his heavy eyelids and yawned quietly, covering his mouth.

"I'll see you soon Miyuki." he breathed as he slipped out of the room, and she smiled…

Author's note-

Edit-

I've started to edit all 5 of the chapters I wrote up last year. I just thought this story needed a fresh coat of paint.

So because of this I'm deleting what I've already uploaded and starting from chapter 1 ;)

Hopefully you guys receive this well, even though it's a slow start haha.