Just Maybe
Sequel To 'Just Something'
A Suite Life Fanfic
ZachXCody
Zach. Is. Too. Close. Way too close. I can't breathe.
"Zach?" I asked, quietly.
"Shut up, I'm trying not to hurt you." He said, pulling another piece of glass from my cheek.
"You aren't," I flinched, "hurting me."
"Uh-huh, hold still, only a little bit left."
I sighed. Of course I just had to open my mouth. I couldn't just let it go, though, the asshole called Zach a fag. I mean, usually I'd just ignore it or give a lecture on why the guy was unintelligent.
But, the look on Zach's face. It wasn't anger, or annoyance, or even amusement. It was pain. As if someone had ripped him to shreds and put him back together with rusty staples. I don't know why I did what I did. It might have been Zach's expression, or maybe because I understood how he was feeling, having endured years of bullying myself.
Though, if I had to guess, it'd be because he was my brother, and I didn't want to see him hurt. I think. I don't know.
Everything's been weird since the play. I mean, Zach kissed me. I'm sure he was just trying to do what I said, but, I kissed him back. And that wasn't fake.
And dammit, I've no idea why. I mean, Zach got me back together with Bailey. He actually did something nice for me.
'"I know, but it was a onetime thing. I can trust you to move on right? I love you, and I want you happy. So Stay with me?" It was everything I wanted to say. At least, I think it was. I still didn't trust her completely and I wasn't sure I wanted to. And I couldn't believe Zach was doing this for me.
"Cody? Is that true? You were just trying to apologize to me?" Bailey asked me, causing me to return from my thoughts.
"Yes," He answered for me, as I was still staring at him, still in disbelief.
"Cody?" Bailey waited for my answer.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Bailey. I really love you, and I should have trusted you." I decided to go along with it and give her a second chance.'
I am, to say the east, confused. I mean, I kissed my own brother. And I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay there with him. But instead, I let Bailey drag me to her room for the night.
And then there was the look in his eyes. Everything I never thought would be there, it was. He was scared and happy and in love. And it scared me. Almost as much as it relieved me.
But why? Dammit! Why the hell would I feel like this about him. He's my brother. My big brother who teases me. Who sticks up for me. Who makes me laugh when I'm sad. Who makes me feel like I'm not just some nerd, but like I'm someone. Who can make a day at the park feel like the best day ever. My big brother who maybe, just maybe, and dammit, I hope I'm wrong, loves me. In more than a brotherly way.
And maybe, just maybe, I love him, too.
"Ahh! Zach, stop!" I screamed, the pain startling me from my thoughts.
"So, you're back to planet Earth?" Zach laughed. "Sorry, Codes, the antiseptic stings."
"You could have warned me before!"
"I tried, you weren't available." I rolled my eyes.
"Is it over yet?" I asked, poking at my cheek.
"No, I've got to bandage it." Zach said, pulling my hand away. "Why'd you do it anyway?"
"I dunno." I sighed. "You protect me all the time. I guess I just wanted to pay you back."
"Well, normally, when I stick up for you, I don't get thrown into a glass door."
"No, you don't. It's because you're stronger than me. You can kick someone's ass, while the most I can do is lecture them on which angle it'd be best to throw a punch from."
"Language. And anyway, it's not like he was bothering me." Zach reached for some tape.
"He was to. I saw it, in your eyes. He hurt you." I muttered.
"No, he didn't, just confused me was all." Zach smiled, though it was obviously fake.
"Really?" I asked, not believing him. I was the smart twin, remember?
"Yeah, I mean, everyone on this ship Knows I've dated so many girls I can't count them all-"
"Yeah, it's always been hard for you to get past four." I interrupted. I didn't know why but I felt like insulting him. Maybe because he was lying to me.
"Anyway, I was just surprised he'd call me a fag." Zach laughed, though it sounded more like he was stuffing a baseball into a meat-grinder.
"He had no right to." I paused, "Anyway, stop lying."
"Lying?"
"Yeah, you've never been a good liar, that's why none of your schemes work."
"Heh, I guess so, huh?"
"Yeah, so, he hurt you. Why?" Zach never got hurt by stuff like that. Ever.
"Because it's true!" Zach yelled at me. "Because I am a fag! Because every girl I've ever been with I've always wished would magically turn into a male."
"So?" I asked, worried about him too much to be shocked by what he just said. "There's nothing wrong with liking guys."
"Yeah, but not just any guy. One specific guy." Zach trailed off. "One specific guy who'd hate me forever if I told him."
"Then he isn't worth it. If he'd hate you, just for liking him, then he's the stupidest, most unintelligent life form you have ever encountered."
"No, he isn't." Zach said, staring straight at me. Not glaring. Staring. "He's the most amazing guy I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. He's intelligent and funny and adorable and perfect and- and – and I love him."
"Well, tell him. If he rejects you, he wasn't the right guy." I said, fearing that I sounded like a cheesy romance novel. Not that I read cheesy romance novels.
"I already did."
"So?" I asked confused. Zach was making no sense.
"I chickened out and got him back together with his old girlfriend."
"Oh. I see. You must be getting good at that, seeing as how you got me and Bailey back together." I smiled, but I wasn't sure it was sincere. I liked Bailey, I really did. But I was having doubts. I still didn't trust her, and I doubt that I love her. And my doubts have gotten so bad that I don't even dream about her.
In fact, the person I usually dream about is… Zach. Why Zach? Dammit, I think I hate him.
"Yeah, I guess." Zach sighed and pulled away from me. "All done. No more fights. Change the bandage every day."
"I will." I touched my cheek. "So, this guy. Did you ever date him?"
"No." Zach sighed. I was really getting tired of that. It made him seem all depressed and un-Zach-like.
"Alright. Did you even speak to him?" I asked, feeling a little exasperated. How can he love someone he's never dated? Zach isn't a 'love at first sight' kind of guy.
"Yep, every day. Zach smiled, a welcome change from all the sighs. "I did kiss him once."
"Really?" I asked, "When?"
"About two months ago."
"Around the time of the play?"
"Yeah."
"Anything since?"
"Nope."
"Is he on the ship?"
"Yes."
"Does he have a name?"
"Yeah."
"So? Who is he?"
"You're so fucking clueless it's adorable." Zach mumbled under his breath so quietly I almost didn't hear it.
"What?"
"You were there the whole time. The night of the play, I fell asleep on the sky deck. You woke me up, told me the dress didn't look good on me."
"Yeah?" I was confused. "So, you kissed him on the sky deck?"
"Not yet."
"Are you?"
"That was what the 'yet' implied." Zach paused, as if thinking. "Come on, you can meet him."
"Now?" I checked my watch, "It's three in the morning!"
"I know." Zach got up and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go."
I reluctantly allowed myself to go with him. Pushing down the odd feeling of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.
I. Do. Not. Like. Zach. As. Anything. More. Than. A. Brother. Dammit!
"Hey, I thought you said this guy had a girlfriend? Isn't he cheating on her?" I asked, finally adding up a few pieces of the seemingly fast paced and random puzzle Zach had given me.
"Well, yeah, I guess. But she's cheated on him before, and he doesn't love her."
"How do you know?"
"It's in his eyes, when he looks at her, he thinks of someone else."
"I see." No, no I do not see. It's like I'm blind and trying to read non-brail cue cards.
It's terrible, I hate not knowing what's going on. Do I like Zach? No. Not at all. Maybe a little. Yes?
Does Zach like me? No? No. He likes this mystery guy. Wonderful. But it is, really. Because we'd never be accepted as a couple, not with being twins. I mean, it's terribly wrong. Illegal even.
Would I break the law for Zach? Yes. Would I ruin my life for Zach? Yes. Do I have a life without Zach? No. Do I love Zach? Yes. Yes, I do.
Why doesn't life follow the same rules as physics?
"So, I've kissed him before. He kissed back, believe it or not. Seeing as how it was just supposed to be fake."
"Uh-huh." I nodded, still in my thoughts.
"And he's supposed to be genius, but he can't see what's going on right in front of him."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He's here." Zach said as soon as we reached the sky deck.
"Oh, so…"
"So?"
"Nothing." I muttered, suddenly very angry at this mystery guy.
"I guess it must be a twin thing."
"What is?" I asked, confused.
"Being gay."
"Maybe. In some cases."
"So, you're gay?"
"No."
"But you've kissed a guy before."
"What? No I haven't." I defended, even more confused than before.
He sighed, "You have a terrible memory."
"I do?" I asked, picking at my bandage. I really wish I'd been able to do more to protect Zach. Instead, they shove me through a glass door and give Zach a black eye. A black eye that's already purple and yet he insists doesn't hurt.
"Yeah. Stop picking at that."
"When'd you learn to do this anyway?"
"Protecting you isn't easy, you know."
"Sorry," I said, feeling guilty. I hated that I wasn't as strong as Zach. That I couldn't protect him like he protected me.
"Don't be. I don't mind." Zach smiled, "So, about that memory of yours."
"Yeah?"
"Let me refresh it."
Before I could ask what he meant, his lips were on mine. No rough and angry, like during the play, but gentle and caring. It was different from Bailey, who, for some reason, was a total nympho. Her kisses were made of only lust. But Zach. His kiss was full of peace and love. It was like falling off the edge of the Earth and knowing someone was there to catch you.
I kissed back. Hesitantly, I still wasn't sure where this was going to lead.
Surprisingly, it led nowhere else. Zach broke away after a few seconds, smiling.
"So, remember now?" He teased.
I nodded, unable to speak. I can't believe I was so oblivious. He practically told me it was me, and yet I still couldn't figure it out. I didn't deserve to be president of the 'Boston Holmies'. Especially if I couldn't figure something so simple out.
"Good. So?"
"What?" I questioned, finding my voice.
"You hate me?" He asked, fear in his eyes.
"Never." I kissed his cheek. "You could kill me, and I'd still love you."
"I'll never kill you. I swear I'll never hurt you." He was being sincere. For the first time in his life, he wasn't joking or messing around.
"Good." I laid my head on his chest, realizing he never let go of me. "How'd you get taller than me?"
"I'm not, I'm wearing real shoes, not those things you're wearing." He put chin on my head. "Wanna stay up here?"
"Yeah."
"Wait here." He let go of me much to my disappointment and walked down the stairs. He returned moments later with a couple blankets. "It gets cold up here."
"Yeah." I nodded, watching him fix a make shift bed. "What if we don't wake up in time?"
"We will. I have an alarm on my phone. We'll get to class, don't worry." He sat down and motioned me over to him. "And no one's allowed up here until eight, so it's light enough for them not to fall."
"Okay." I sat down next to him and cuddled into his side.
"Cold?"
I nodded.
"Lay down." I did as told and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling the blanket up somehow. "Goodnight, Codes."
I yawned and snuggled into his chest. "Night, Zachy. I love you"
"Sweet dreams, I love you, too."
An there it was. I was in love with my brother. It was wrong. Anything could go wrong. If anyone found out or if something happened it would be very bad. But it'd be worth it. If only because I get to see Zach every morning and every night. I'm going to have to get Moseby to let us trade rooms.
And maybe this wouldn't work. Maybe in the morning he'd realize he hadn't meant any of this. That he didn't really love me. Maybe a passenger would ignore the rules and sneak up here. Maybe we'd be thrown in jail. Persecuted. Maybe it was worth it. Yeah, it's worth it.
And maybe the world would accept us. Maybe we'd be allowed to live the way we choose. Maybe, maybe not. But right now, it didn't matter. Right now, everything was just maybe.
I'm not really sure why I wrote a sequel. Except maybe because I got a review asking if there'd be one, so I decided to make one. If there are any errors, please tell me. Also, blame any and all suckish-ness on the fact that it's 4 in the morning and I'm just recuvering from Writer's Block...
Review Please! All Flames welcomed!
-ZeN