Disclaimer: One look at this and you'll pretty much understand that I most certainly do not own House or any of its characters.
(okay so in Health class one day we had to write a story about a character in our favorite tv show that started smoking and how the other characters react to it, this is definitely a crackfic and is definitely OOC, however, despite what you may believe, mine actually turned out to be one of the more sane ones of the class, so anyway...enjoy!)
One day, at the marvelous Princeton Plainsborough Teaching Hospital,
the infamous Dr. Gregory House, was, as always, sleeping undisturbed,
in his office. All of a sudden, the door slams open, thus waking up
House and Wilson walks in with the aroma of smoke on his clothes, and
quite the creepy smile on his face.
"Heya House," he
slurs, "How are you doing today?"
House, slightly
disturbed by Wilson's drastic change in behavior, studies him with
his shockingly sky blue, electric blue, ice blue, etc.etc...-you've
heard them all-eyes
"Wilson...are you okay?" he asks,
quite bewildered at the sight before him. Wilson just enhances that
creepy smile into something that House simply just finds
sickening.
"Oh House! I am perfectly, wonderfully, happily
happy as a blue jay!" he disturbingly manages to say in a single
breath...
"Wilson...have you been taking anything..." he
interrogates...
"OH just these! and some crack and some meth,
and some other stuff I found lying around your apartment" He
yells, shaking a box of cigarettes in front of House's
face.
"Wilson...you.are.a. DOCTOR and an Oncologist at
that...and wait a minute, you've been in my house??"
Wilson
just smiles again...
"Wilson you idiot! Why the hell did you
do that??" Wilson frowns at this.
"Oh I don't know!!
Maybe cuz my girlfriend is DEAD!!(I know its horrible)"
"Wilson!
That is no way to handle your problems, I mean honestly, your
supposed to be MY conscience!"
"I thought you'd
understand!!" He then starts whimpering into his lab coat.
"Oh
DEAR GOD, WILSON! I can't take this anymore!" He suddenly wacks
Wilson with his cane...
KAPPOW
...and allows him to fall to the floor of his office. House, not wanting to leave him on his floor, drags him to the hallway and yells for an intern to take him to a private room. 'Hopefully he will be back to his normal self tomorrow...' House thinks then goes back to his nap in his office.
A.N. yup I know, its insane