Disclaimer: I don't own anything that appears in this fic. Naruto and characters belong to Kishimoto-sama. While the Seme/Uke quiz questions, answers and results all belong to Seme/ Uke . Com.

Author's Note: I get bored easily and one of my fav things to do is take this quiz over and over while trying to think and therefore answer the questions like a specific character from either movies, TV, Anime, video games and or manga. The most "accurate" (and I use that word under protest because purity of characterization and its interpretation is based upon our individual perceptions!) results for compatibility that I've found with this amusing quiz so far, is Sasu/Naru.

Read this if you don't believe me, and then tell me what you think. :)

The Quiz

"Naruto, what are you doing? You've been playing with that stupid computer for over an hour?" Sasuke growled as he walked out of the bathroom with a towel draped across his lean hips.

Naruto frowned, and stuck his tongue out, trying to think faster. "I'm almost done… Besides, you were playing with it all day, Teme."

"It's part of the job description, Dobe. We are on a mission here, you know."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"So what are you doing?"

"Taking a quiz."

"Hn? Are there actual questions or just little pictures you click on because one of them doesn't belong?"

"Fuck you." Naruto picked up a sofa pillow and threw it, he growled when Sasuke caught it and smirked and set it on the other end of the couch. "Do you want to know or not?"

Sasuke went back to drying his hair. "Hn."

"It's a compatibility quiz- well, kind of..."

Sasuke stopped drying his hair long enough to look confused. "What?"

"Well, I got… err… I'll tell you later… so now I need to know what you are…"



"Seme and Uke relationships are a myth, Dobe. You can't believe the stuff on those quizzes."

"You're just saying that cuz you bottomed last night and… Damn! I got that again? This is harder than I thought…"

Sasuke snorted coolly.

"Come on, let me ask you the questions and answer them for me, just this once, please?" Naruto pleaded.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever… Dobe."

Naruto flashed him a brilliant smile. "Thanks, Teme! Okay, question one… Do you enjoy licking things?"

Sasuke was reaching into the closet for the suit he would wear to the office tomorrow, but he turned and glared at him instead. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

Naruto laughed. "How did I miss that answer the first time?"

That drew an amused snort from Sasuke.

"Okay, two, have you ever bought hair dye for yourself." Sasuke was silent for so long that Naruto looked up and found his only response was a death glare.

Studying the list of options he grinned again, because that too was a response he'd missed.

"Three, have you ever tied someone up?"

"You already forgot Thursday, Dobe?"

Naruto blushed and then he waggled his eyebrows. "So, uh number four… Have you ever been tied up? Yep, that was last night when I caught you sleeping… you wanna do it again, Teme?"

"Wanna die?"

Naruto sighed. "Number five, what kind of shoes do you wear? Just so you know, our shoes aren't on here."

"Then what are the options?"

"Steel toed boots, canvas sneakers; I go barefoot, tennis shoes, dress shoes, designer shoes or what the hell? Why didn't I think of this one, boots with long laces so I have something to tie my uke up with?"



"The first one, I can't stand these things I have to wear to the office."

"I picked the boots too." Naruto grinned, and scrolled down to the next question. "Do you feel guilty when you take advantage of someone?"

Sasuke only laughed at that, he didn't even pause in his search for tomorrow's clean socks.

"Okay, my weapon of choice is…"

"What are the options?"

"My body, coy seduction, whips, and chains- do I have to pick just one? A bad ass sword from that game I played last week, my ability to see all possibilities and use them to my advantage, rainbow power, my charming smile, or the shards of glass in my soul?"

"This body."

Naruto watched him moving around the room in just his boxers and grinned. That lithe, muscular body was a deadly weapon alright, and then snorted. "Oh, you're going to love this one… Did you get any piercings since I saw you this morning?"

The other only glared at him silently, drawing a chuckle from Naruto.

"Number nine. So, do you like alcohol, Teme?"

Sasuke smirked. "That usually depends on which one of us gets drunk first, doesn't it?"

Naruto grinned. It wasn't often he got to see Sasuke's more playful side, if they weren't already in bed; he usually acted cold and uninterested in bantering with him. He knew it was the bondage questions that had put him in the mood for that quip. "Okay, what kind of a car do you drive, Teme?"

"It's stolen anyway, why would I care what it is?"

"Eleven, how do you eat ice cream?"

Sasuke smirked at him again. "I don't."

Naruto laughed. "Okay, twelve, what kind of gift would you give me? There's-"

Sasuke shrugged. "Myself."

"And what is your ideal pet, Teme?"

"I don't have time for that shit. We're never home."

"What about Angel?"

"She's not a pet, she's a ninja cat and therefore she takes care of herself while we are gone."

Naruto grinned. "How do you order at a restaurant? Uh, never mind, this is totally you… Spend twenty minutes changing your mind and generally screwing with the server's head."

"Shut up, you do it too, Dobe."

"That's only when I can't have ramen!"

"It still counts."

"Yeah, says the Teme who called that super cute girl a bitch last night. She was nice and she totally had a crush on you and you still acted like a jerk."

"Don't pretend you weren't laughing your ass off every time she left the table. Women are annoying and clingy."

"They're just insecure, the media keeps telling them they need to be perfect and-"

Sasuke smirked at him. "You were watching Tyra with the DVR again while I was investigating the office, weren't you?"

Naruto blushed. "Shut up, it was that or Judge Judy and that old lady makes Granny Tsunade look like a sweet little kitten."

"You only say that because the blonde hag actually likes you- are we done with the stupid quiz now or what?"

"Uh… Oh, right. So, someone is checking me out, what are you going to do about it, Teme?"

"Kick their ass because you're mine."

"Close enough… Okay, would you say this is your dream job?"

Sasuke snorted. "This mission sucks and you know it. But generally infiltrating and spying on Konoha's enemies and fighting? Yeah. I like the excitement."

Naruto nodded and grinned. It definitely qualified as thrilling and not quite legal, but they were ninjas, so getting caught wasn't really a concern. "Okay, and your favorite fashion accessory is?"

"Weapons, Dobe."

"Number nineteen. If there was a masquerade tonight-"

"Fuck that. Read the next one."

Naruto laughed. "The music question- well, you shut off the TV when you got home and found a rock station on the radio so I guess that's Rock..."

"Hn," Sasuke kept sifting through ties.

"And last but not least, my favorite- tonight are you going to be on the bottom again or- what…"

Sasuke turned and glared at him.

Since that too was an actual option on the poll, Naruto sighed as he selected it and then clicked submit to your fate…

"Okay, according to this, you are… a Don't Fuck With Me Seme. I like your results, but when I was trying to guess for you while you were in the shower, I kept getting the Sadistic Teme- I mean Seme for some reason."

"Hn. I've already told you it doesn't matter what it says on some stupid little quiz on the internet."

"It was fun. I know it had questions on it that you and I both might have answered differently if we were in a bad mood or something, but according to this we are totally meant for each other right now…"

"Oh really? So what did you get?"

"Badass Uke." Naruto closed the laptop and went over to him, grinning impishly.

"Hn." Sasuke kissed him and Naruto pouted.

"Don't you even want to know what my answers were, Teme?"

"That depends- do you enjoy licking things?" Sasuke purred, and shoved Naruto into the bed. He grinned as Naruto dragged him in on top of him.

"Anything you put in front of me." Naruto grinned; then he demonstrated by pausing to lick Sasuke's neck then he nipped him lightly.

Sasuke shivered, and pinned him to the bed, with a rough kiss.

When Naruto could breathe again because Sasuke was busy removing his bright orange shirt with an annoyed growl, he smirked. "Let's go get some ice cream, and I'll show you how much I like licking things, Teme…"

Author's Note: Oopsie! I dunno, but this is getting naughty and for once, that wasn't my intention! Will we ever get to see Naruto's quiz results? If you want part two, leave me a review and I'll continue! Eventually…