This has literally been the worst day ever.
The thought repeated endlessly in Lori's mind as she lay defeated upon the couch, staring uselessly up at the living room ceiling. Her backpack sat in a crumpled heap on the floor, one strap hanging loosely from her fingers. Her hair was a frazzled mess, but she just couldn't muster up the energy to fix it.
The day's humiliating events kept playing out in Lori's head, haunting her, almost mocking her. Her bad luck had started early that morning, in the shower, with the telltale sputter that told her she was out of her coveted cherry blossom shampoo. Then, while attempting to help her mother feed an exceptionally fussy Lily her strained carrot breakfast, Lori had ended up with orange baby burp all down her favorite sky blue tank top. The resulting harried search through her closet for a newly coordinated outfit had put her siblings' journey to school a whole two minutes behind schedule. Lori was still kicking herself especially hard for that one, considering how much she prided herself on her punctuality.
Things hadn't improved at school, as instead of uploading her meticulous and flawlessly executed locker selfie, Lori had accidentally deleted it. Then came gym class, where another sobering realization had hit - in her haste to get out the door quickly that morning and make up for the time she'd lost, Lori had left her golf clubs behind, forcing her to use one of the beat-up school clubs instead. And her particularly vigorous backswing ended up separating the club from its grip, sending it tumbling through the air and into the faculty parking lot, smashing through the rear windshield of the senior class biology teacher's car. Lori supposed she could kiss her A- average goodbye.
And then, for the disgusting cherry on top of the embarrassment sundae that today had been, the amount of stress Lori was under had done a number on her gastrointestinal system. While driving her siblings home from their respective schools, she'd accidentally let one rip, causing no end of haranguing and teasing from her grossed out younger family members. Lola in particular wouldn't let up about it the whole ride home; though Lori was sure she was exaggerating about the nose-hair-curling quality of the smell, it didn't do anything to soothe her bruised ego. (Lana had just bragged that she could do better, then proceeded to demonstrate, which helped even less.)
As she lay flopped on the couch, one leg dangling motionlessly off the cushions, Lori could feel the effects of her stress-filled day taking their physical toll. Her head throbbed. She had to consciously unclench her teeth. The knot in her stomach wouldn't untighten, no matter how many times she did her breathing exercise - in for four, hold for six, out for eight. It was no use.
She knew what she wanted - or rather, who. In this moment, she wanted Bobby there with her. Her beloved Bobby Boo-Boo Bear, whom she could hold and know that everything would be okay. She could curl up on his chest and let him stroke her hair, let the rhythm of his heartbeat soothe her, secure in the knowledge that she had someone special in her life, someone strong and dependable to comfort her in times like this…
But Bobby wasn't there. He was miles away in the big city, probably just getting in for his after-school shift at the bodega. Instead of Lori, he'd be holding cases of kidney beans and artichoke hearts all afternoon. And so it would be for at least another nine months, another nine long agonizing months of waiting to see her boyfriend in person again...
The knot in Lori's stomach seemed to double. She could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage. The itchy heat built in her eyes.
No, she thought desperately. Not a panic attack, not now, not in the open like this. You're supposed to be the rock, remember? You can't let them see you be weak…
Instinctively, she covered her face with her hands, closed her burning eyes, and redoubled her efforts to control her breathing. This was the worst she'd let herself get in a while. Wasn't there anything she could do to stop the dam from bursting?
The sound of approaching footsteps did nothing to quell Lori's anxiety. Which one of her family members was going to see her losing control like this?
"Hey Lori, you took Economics last year, right? I don't get this thing in my homework about bull markets. Is it like a farm?"
Lori sighed, her face still covered. Leave it to Leni to completely miss the point as usual.
But when Leni spoke again, her voice was softer, more sympathetic. "Whoa, are you okay? You look, like, really wigged out. Or are you just playing hide-and-seek? 'Cause I could play with you, if you want! I'm, like, totes great at that game!"
Lori groaned. "I'm not playing, Leni," she said, her voice muffled by her hands. "I just had a really awful day. I literally feel like I got run over by a train."
Leni gasped. "Oh no! Shouldn't we, like, take you to a hospital or something?"
"I wasn't really hit by a train, Leni," Lori growled as the pain in her head increased. "It was hyperbole."
Leni clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "Well, if you've got a hyper bully pushing you around at school, then you seriously need to tell our principal or somebody!"
This was the last thing Lori needed right now.
"Please, Leni," she hissed, "I just want to de-stress…"
"Oh, don't worry, I totally understand," Leni chirped. "I have bad days at school sometimes too, y'know. And you know what, like, always cheers me up whenever that happens? When my friends tell me about their day! Y'know, it helps to put my day in prospective or whatever it's called."
A low moan escaped Lori's muffled lips. She knew just where this was headed.
"Don't worry," Leni continued, "I think you'll like this when you hear it, it's like totes adorbs. Okay, so y'know how I, like, baked those cookies for Chaz because that article in Mojito said that guys like girls who have some sort of skill? Well, I gave 'em to him at his locker this morning and I think he totally loved them! I mean, I know they tasted a little weird because I couldn't find the baking soda and I had to use Diet Mr. Fibb instead, but Chaz, like, totally didn't seem to mind…"
After everything that had happened today, Lori had no energy left to fight. She just slumped into the cushions with her hands still pressed against her face, giving in to her sister's pointless ramblings.
But as Lori lost the will to argue, she began to listen. And she noticed something strange.
Leni's story actually was making her feel more relaxed. Not the inane subject matter, obviously, but the way she was telling it. Something about her younger sibling's voice seemed to put Lori at ease, something she never would've noticed if she hadn't been blocking out all visual stimuli.
The bouncy energy that Leni had, combined with the merry flintiness of her voice, seemed to trigger something very soothing in Lori's mind. Especially when Leni would suddenly squeak in excitement or drop down to a lower octave to share some bit of information she found particularly interesting. Her words developed a rubber band stretchiness to them that Lori had never taken notice of before - a combination of pleasing sounds that distracted her from everything on her mind.
And to her surprise, Lori noticed her headache was diminishing by the second. In its place was a thoroughly relaxing tingling sensation that started at the top of her scalp and seemed to dance all the way down the back of her neck. She tuned in more closely to Leni's words - not the story, just the words, and the way they sounded as they bounced out of her sister's mouth - and the tingling suddenly doubled in intensity.
She let out a small contented sigh as the knot in her stomach untwisted, and she let her hands drop from her face. She had no idea what to make of this bizarre sensory experience, but all she knew was that she felt more relaxed now than she had all day, and that was what mattered.
"...And it turns out they were right on top of my head the whole time!" Leni giggled. "Isn't that cray-cray?" She sighed, leaning against the back of the couch. "So you see? Didn't that make you feel better, Lori?"
Lori let her eyes softly flutter open. She looked up at her sister's beaming face.
"Actually, yeah," she said slowly. "It literally did. Thanks, Leni."
"Hey, as the French say, no problemo!" Leni said, bouncing blissfully on the balls of her feet. Then she furrowed her brow in confusion. "Now, what did I come down here for? ...Oh well, it couldn't have been that important. See ya, big sis!"
And with that, she bounded off towards the kitchen.
Lori sat up and rubbed her forehead. A trace of the odd tingly feeling was still lingering at the back of her head, accentuated slightly every time she thought about Leni's story. What on earth was that? It felt as if someone had played a symphony on her nerve endings. Was that even normal? Was the human body supposed to do that?
There were those anxious thoughts again. Lori tried to shake them off. Does it matter if that was normal? she thought. I mean, it made you feel better, right?
But now she was feeling bad about feeling better. Of course.
More footsteps, smaller this time. Lori glanced over to see Lisa had just descended the stairs.
"Pardon me, older sibling," lisped Lisa, "but I was wondering if I may bother you to inquire about the location of the remote control. There's a fascinating documentary about string theory being broadcast on public television this afternoon and I do not wish to deprive myself of it."
Lori fished the remote out from between the couch cushions and tossed it to Lisa. "Oh yeah, sure," she mumbled. "Here ya go."
Lisa whipped a can of disinfectant spray out of seemingly nowhere and covered the remote in a cloud of it. "My deepest thanks," she said, powering up the cable box.
As the screen blinked to life, Lori realized that this was just what she needed. Surely if anyone in the family knew everything there was to know about the workings of the human body, it was the one with the most Nobel Prizes on her shelf.
"Hey, Lisa?" Lori began. "This is probably gonna sound so weird, but I have a medical question."
Lisa pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Feel free to ask me, Lori. I do believe I possess some degree of expertise in that field."
Lori rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think of a way to say this that wouldn't sound insane.
"Well, um...let me ask you this. Is it normal for your scalp to feel tingly?"
Lisa arched an eyebrow. "I suppose it would depend upon the circumstances."
"Well, let's say somebody was talking to you," Lori continued, "and the sound of their voice was really soothing and relaxing." Then she hastily added "Um, I'm asking for a friend."
To Lori's surprise, Lisa let out a small chuckle.
"Lori, I believe what you're describing is a recently documented perceptual phenomenon called autonomous sensory meridian response."
Lori blinked.
"Street name, ASMR," Lisa clarified.
"I have literally never even heard of that," Lori said. "It's not...dangerous, is it?"
"Not in the slightest," Lisa continued. "It is merely a subjective experience of low-grade euphoria, often triggered by specific audio or visual stimuli and characterized by a combination of positive feelings and a light pleasant tingling sensation in the epidermal layer."
She adjusted her glasses again. "You'll forgive me if I am hesitant to believe your claim to be 'asking for a friend'. I take it you have recently experienced this phenomenon for yourself?"
Lori bit her lip sheepishly. "Yeah, kinda…"
"Well, it's nothing to be alarmed or embarassed about at all," Lisa insisted. "Many, many people experience autonomous sensory meridian response to varying degrees. I myself often encounter it while listening to the Baroquial finale of Mozart's Symphony No. 41. It is a chillingly impressive work of musical craftsmanship, if I do say so myself. Far more mentally stimulating than the cacophonous three-chord monotony I usually hear drifting out of Lincoln's room, at least."
The pit in Lori's stomach vanished again. So this wasn't weird, it didn't make her a freak…
"In fact, many people find the experience to be an effective stress reliever or sleep aid," Lisa added, clearly on a roll. "I understand there is a popular community of like-minded people on social media and streaming video sites dedicated to sharing this experience with each other."
Lori's eyebrows practically disappeared into her bangs. "Social media community, huh?" she said, as an anticipatory grin spread across her face.
"Yes," said Lisa, "it is a small relief to know that not all young people see the Internet as a mere conduit for cat videos and nonsensical captioned photographs, street name, 'memes'. Now if you please, my program is about to begin."
As Lisa sat engrossed in her documentary, Lori was already nose-deep in her phone, searching for more information. If there was anything - anything - on social media that would help her control the stress in her life, she was literally all for it.