A/N: There's something awesome about the fact I can combine all these amazing shows/movies/books and get away with it. So, anyways, I'm not going to explain what this is, 'cause you'll catch on soon enough. Enjoy.
Fandoms this chapter: Supernatural, Star Trek, Phantom of the Opera, Doctor Who, Criminal Minds, and myself (which isn't a fandom, but whatever).
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, Star Trek, Phantom of the Opera, Doctor Who, Criminal Minds, Relient K or their song Mood Rings. I do own this story, the random theatre, and myself. All else is moot point.
Warnings: Language, random singing, angry/moody women, general crackiness.
The theatre was something gorgeous, with red velvet curtains and tapestries and golden statues and elegance that could only be matched in a palace. The stage was grand and magnificent, encompassing a third of the room, and the people were holding their breaths as the time neared, eyes shifting towards the stage regularly. The entire room was packed, the balconies and floor seats completely filled. The murmur of voices swelled and lowered in a random pattern, ceasing completely as the orchestra began to play a fanfare.
A girl, brown haired and blue eyed, wearing a plain silk, emerald green dress and egg-white colored wrap stood in the center of the stage, in front of a small podium, as the curtains drew back. A thunderous applause filled the room as the girl smirked, fingers tapping lightly against the glass plate of the podium.
"Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, aliens, and mutants alike." The girl nodded to a small group of clustered, oddly dressed characters in the balcony. One of the men, a pointy-eared man with a slight green flush to his features and hair blacker than ebony in a bowl cut, nodded to her and did an odd salute of some type. A parting of the fingers, pressed into pairs, with the thumb extended. The girl returned the gesture. "As you know, this event has been in the planning for awhile."
Another generous applause took place, causing the girl to smile even wider.
"I know that everyone here knows what is going on, but I do not think the people at home quite understand. Erik, if could please explain." The girl turned to the man behind her—no one quite sure how he got there as they were sure he hadn't been there when she first started speaking—and stepped back from the podium.
Erik stepped forward, dressed elegantly in late 1800's to early 1900's period dress, a deep crimson cravat contrasting sharply to the all-black he wore. A black half-mask covered the right side of his face, causing the blue eyes to stand out. "Thank you, Lushy," he murmured softly, voice roughly melodical.
Erik turned to the audience. "Tonight we celebrate something important. Tonight we celebrate all fanfiction across the globe, the fanart, the fanvids, all the artistic ones across the world who has taken the time to devote themselves to their fandom. In response, our very own authoress, Lushy, has issued a talent show crossover, in which a reviewer or reader can ask for a crossover added or a specific character to perform a specific act. Tonight, we are at the mercy of all of ours fans' many fantasies.
"As fictional characters, we know we could not survive without them. Our creators would be nothing, as would we, if not for the support and inspiration of our fans. Many of us come from movies or books or shows that have been cancelled, and without the many fans, our legacies would die out." At this, Erik gave a pointed look to the balcony that Lushy did earlier. They had the decency to look sheepish, except for the pointy-eared alien. He was pretty much emotionless.
"Once again, we celebrate tonight. Our performances will be…unorthodox. They may be revised scenes or endings from our world, they may be songs or acts, they may be a comedic attempt of terrible proportions. However, we will all suffer through it. Because we have no choice."
The clapping was a bit more sporadic this time—hesitant from Erik's final words. Lushy rushed forward, pushing Erik away gently and chuckling nervously.
"Right…so, uhm, how about we start with the first act?"
And so the applause went back to its regular self, giving Lushy much relief in the outcome. The girl nodded down to the orchestra pit and literally jumped off the stage as the curtains closed in preparation.
"And now," the spotlight flashed to two men in tuxedos in the audience. One was taller, with long-ish brown hair and a dazzling smile. The other was shorter, well-toned with short-spiked hair and an equally dazzling smile. The similarity was unmistakable. Dean and Sam Winchester were announcing the first act. Sam continued to speak, grinning widely. "The very first act of the night."
"You know them well, especially you English bastards." Dean winked as Sam elbowed him non-too-discreetly.
"They've traveled the many galaxies together, fighting for survival as aliens, non-humans, robotic-men, and pepper-pots chased them around." Sam continued, grin falling slightly as he eyed his older brother worriedly.
"They've run farther than anyone ever has, and everyone can't resist the enigmatic human-looking-alien with the charming smile and attitude." Dean stepped forward, voice lowering as he caught sight of Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds. "Rather like me."
Emily frowned, shifting away from the man, and gave his brother a pointed look.
Sam slapped his face with the palm of his hand, groaning lightly. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Doctor and his Companions singing 'Mood Rings' by Relient K."
Sam quickly escorted his brother away from the attractive female as everyone clapped and the curtains retracted to reveal…nothing. Absolutely nothing. People frowned, looking around for their entertainment, when an odd whooshing—there was no other suitable word, really, though whooshing didn't seem to fit—sound attracted their attention. The people leaned forward as a blue box faded into sight at the center of the stage and three women stepped out.
The first was a blonde dressed in a pink dress from the 50's, a jean jacket on and hair swept up in a mimic of a beehive. She smiled sweetly at the audience and struck a cheerful pose.
The next was a dark skinned, dark haired young woman in a red leather jacket and dark jeans. Her hair was in some wild style or another and she seemed remarkably sad as she took her place next to the blonde girl in a despondent pose.
The third and final woman was a red-head in a wedding dress. She had her hands on her hips, a defiant and angry look to her features, as she stepped to the other side of the blonde.
It was Rose, Martha, and Donna in their most classic outfits.
The music started up as a man, with brown hair that seemed really too amazing for anyone on earth, stepped out in a navy blue suit with no tie, converse sneakers on his feet and reading glasses perched on his nose.
He stepped to the right of the cluster of girls, the TARDIS between them, and began to sing.
"We all know the girls that I'm talking about. Well, they are time bombs and they are ticking and the only question's when they'll blow up."
The girl waved to the audience, Rose mimicking laughter, Martha pretending to cry, and Donna raging on with her fists clenched at her sides. The Doctor winced, taking a step back from them in genuine fear. Those girls could be quite…scary if they wanted to be.
"And they'll blow up; we know that without a doubt. 'Cause they're those girls, yeah, you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them."
Suddenly, the girls turned on him, all irrationally angry. They stalked towards him as his eyes grew wide and he began to step back and back and back. He gulped rather loudly.
"And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man. Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings."
The girls suddenly began to smile, turning to the audience and flicking their right hand in front of them in some similarity to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' music video.
The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief as he turned to the audience with a grin.
"So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off, 'cause we'll know just what they're thinking. 'Cause what they're thinking is..." The Doctor trailed off, leaning conspiratorially towards the audience as he stopped singing. "Scary."
The girls all shot him glares, causing him to send a sheepish grin.
"She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way, her moods are swinging on the swing set almost every day."
The girls begun to dance, synchronized, as other girls filled the stage behind them and began imitating the many different moods a girl had to offer.
"She said to me that she's so happy it's depressing," The Doctor looked over at Rose, confusion lighting his eyes. "All I said was 'someone get that girl a mood ring'."
The audience laughed as Rose pouted, crossing her arms and stomping off stage. The Doctor looked mildly upset at this as Martha and Donna turned to glare at him for not understanding better. Clearing his throat, he continued and soon after the girls returned to dancing.
"If it's drama you want, then look no further. They're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives. And it just kills me how they get away with murder. They'll anger you then bat those eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize."
A random girl dancer draped herself over a now very flustered Doctor who was trying rather desperately to pry himself away.
Martha and Donna were trying not to laugh.
"And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man. Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings, so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off. 'Cause we'll know just what they're thinking, 'cause what they're thinking is…" The girls looked over at him as he trailed off. "Actually, you don't want to know."
The audience laughed as the girls growled at him before continuing dancing—though they were clearly agitated at how terrible the Doctor was at deciphering their feelings and knowing when the hell to shut up.
"She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way, her moods are swinging on the swing set almost every day." Now the Doctor eyed Martha, who looked at him with a hopeful expression. "She said to me she's so stressed out that it's soothing…"
Martha smiled, nodding, and took a step towards the Doctor.
"All I said was 'someone get the girl a mood ring'."
And suddenly, Martha had stormed off as well. Donna was resisting the urge to slap the Doctor at this point, so instead she walked off to find Rose and Martha.
The Doctor shrugged,"'Cause when it's black it means watch your back 'cause you're probably the last person in the world right now she wants to see. And when it's blue you should call her up immediately and ask her out 'cause she'll most likely agree. And when it's green it simply means she's really stressed. When it's clear it means she's completely emotionless," the Doctor smirked. "And that's all right, I must confess."
The audience laughed, clapping their hands in time.
"We all know the girls that I'm talking about, she liked you Wednesday but now it's Friday and she has to wash her hair. And it just figures that we'll never figure them out. First she's Jekyll and then she's Hyde, at least she makes a lovely pair."
Someone, or someone's, cleared their throat. The Doctor turned and took in the view of three very ticked off women. He gulped, taking a step back. "Girls, let's be rational."
"Keep singing, Spaceman, that's all that's keep you alive." Donna sneered, stalking towards the Time Lord.
"Mood ring, oh, mood ring, oh, tell me will you bring the key to unlock this mystery. Of girls and their emotions, play it back in slow-motion, so that I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind."
The girls lunged as the Doctor cried.
"Beam me up, Scotty!"
And Scotty did. What? He knew from experience that girls were evil. Just look at Uhura.
In the audience, Lushy coughed and motioned for the curtains to be drawn.