A/N: Originally posted on ao3 under the pen name youngjusticewriter.
"You're an idiot," is what greets him when he walks into his no longer safe house.
"Hello Artemis," Jason greets her. He isn't rude but he isn't warm either to the archer who had been his friend- his only friend- in another life time.
She snorts at him. "Hello Artemis," she repeats in anger. "I would have loved to hear that when I thought you were dead but you were alive. Do you have any idea what a dick you are?" She's not yelling her anger at him, instead her voice is soft in anger. She wasn't just angry at him - she's pissed. Lovely, Jason thought sarcastically.
"Look as much as I love," Jason drowned the word love with sarcasm, "to chat with you I need to make an ice pack."
"Make your ice pack while I talk to you. I'm sure the League of Shadows taught you to multitask at the very least."
Jason walked over to the almost barren kitchen and grabbed the box of Ziplock freezer bags that was on the counter. He pulled one out and started making a homemade ice pack.
Artemis who had been silent (never a good thing) during the last two minutes finally speaks.
"Why did I marry into a family of idiots?" Jason doesn't know if she's actually asking him or if she's just thinking out aloud.
It doesn't matter which one it is because Jason still snorts at that.
"You know most would say otherwise," he tells her as he puts handfuls of ice into the Ziplock bag. He's still wearing his gloves from his Red Hood persona so the ice doesn't freeze his hands.
"You can be smart and an idiot at the same time," Artemis admits softly. There's sadness in her eyes when Jason glances up at her in worry.
"Why are you here Artemis?" He abruptly snaps at her because he shouldn't be worrying over her.
"Because Alfred and I are apparently the only one with common sense. Since Alfred has his hands full with Bruce and Dick is taking a page of Bruce's book and brooding I thought I come visit my brother."
Jason laughs. It's bitter thing to listen to but Artemis doesn't wince.
"I don't have a brother much less a sister-in-law." He tells her, his voice as cold as a night patrol in winter.
"God I'm surrounded by genius idiots," Artemis mutters murderously.
"Wrong. Bruce and my replacement are the geniuses. Or so I've heard."
Suddenly something clicks; he finally pushes her off that edge. "Don't bullshit me Todd," she snarls at him. "I've seen your grades from the Academy and need I remind you that you almost stole the tires right off the bat mobile."
She pauses. Visibly breathes in and out to calm herself when they both know that trick doesn't work.
"And don't call Tim a replacement," she fiercely orders him.
"Why not? It's what he is." He takes off his leather jacket and lifts his right shirt sleeve up before he presses the ice pack against his shoulder.
"And your Dick's yet he never called you that."
"No he just hated me from afar for taking the Robin mantle because of the meaning behind it. He didn't even visit my grave Artemis." He reminds her, refusing to hold back the punches it takes to win this argument. Go for the jugular. It was messy but it's how you win in Gotham. Artemis knows that unlike the rest of his family.
"Did Talia ever tell you why?" Artemis asks as she starts walking towards him. "He was off world with the Titans."
She's right infront of him. She takes the ice pack and holds it for him.
There's silence for several minutes. Artemis spends those minutes looking him over and mentally comparing the person he is now to the teenage boy she knew. Jason spends those minutes not looking at his former friend who's now his sister-in-law.
They've changed; they're both so far from who they once were when Jason was on team.
"How come you don't want me to call my replacement what he is?"
"I hate that word," she confesses to him. "If you can come up with the original nickname Dickiebird I'm sure you can do something original for Tim too."
"Why should I?" Jason asks her impertinently even though he isn't that smart mouth teenager she once knew.
"Otherwise I'll kick you in the balls Todd. You can ask the Joker how funny it was the next time you beat him with a crowbar and then try to get get Bruce to murder him. What were you thinking?"
Jason refuses to answer and Artemis, being who she is, pushes the ice bag further into his shoulder. He glares at her but still refuses to explain himself.
"He loves you know. And Dick," she pauses to think how to express this properly. "He couldn't have loved you because he never knew you back then but he didn't want you to die. He's felt guilty ever since," she admits to him. "So do me a favor and try to get along with him and Tim."
Jason notes she doesn't add Bruce to the list.
"Oh I forgot," she says viciously as she slammed the ice bag into the side of his head. "That was for holding a knife to Tim's throat. Now get along with your family or you're not going to be nominated for godfather." With that Artemis walks out of the safe house leaving behind a gaping Jason Todd.
