This fanfiction is based loosely on Three Men and a Baby. I loved this movie and used to watch it at least once a week growing up…so enjoy.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Playlist:
The Supremes ~ Baby Love
Also this is complete fiction so the whole scenario coming up is my creativity/crazy ideas for the sake of the story. Thank You.
Edward Cullen POV
"Happy Birthday sexy!" a random squealed when I passed her. I winked and leaned over to kiss her cheek giving me a better chance at getting laid tonight. She was slightly inebriated, but still good to go so she wasn't sloppy sex.
"Thanks gorgeous," I replied with my crooked grin that makes the ladies drop and spread 'em.
She slightly shivered and smiled a 'I-will-fuck-you-right-now' smile.
Now normally I would take up her offer leading her off into the bathroom, but I have a chance to get someone hotter. She was pretty but I knew they're better ladies roaming around. So I just winked again with a hint of a promise to let her know 'maybe'. She lit up like a Christmas tree and swooned.
I sauntered away walking through the crowd that's currently residing in my very spacious Manhattan penthouse that I share with my two best friends Emmett and Jasper.
All of the sudden the lights got turned down and I see a glow coming my way, everyone is singing 'Happy Birthday' as my two best friends walk towards me with a cake made to look like my face. I chuckled and swaggered over to them to blow out the candles. A loud roar rings out sounding like the Yankees stadium during the World Series.
Emmett and Jasper set down the cake and both slap me on the back wishing me a 'Happy Birthday'. I smiled and laughed with them as they joke around with me. Flashes go off and I just celebrated my twenty-fifth birthday with the best god damn party ever.
It turns out I found a way hotter piece of ass and she bent over legs spread before I even closed my bathroom door. One rule don't bring bitches to your bed, bend 'em over and take them because fuck I don't need a class 1 clinger thinking she can stay until the morning.
Knock…Knock…Knock
I moaned and swiped my face with my hand rubbing all the sleep out. "Shit," I mumbled because someone's at our door and no one is answering it. My head is pounding and I whimpered as I sat up. I reached down and scratched the boys then stood up to stretch in the nude with my morning wood poking out.
"Coming… fuck hold on!" I called out pissed off that my dick head brothers aren't answering the door. I should be the one that gets to sleep in for fucks sake it was my birthday party.
I reach into my drawer that holds some pajama pants and slide those on and open my door with a slight growl because I am slightly pissed off. On my way to the front door I give my brothers doors the finger.
My stomping feet slapped against the polished hardwood floor as I make my way towards the front door. I reached out to unlock it and swung it open. Immediately regretting the decision, now I am directly face to face with an older woman holding a pink and white basket. She is dressed in a business dress suit and looks at me with a raised bitchy eyebrow.
Who the fuck is this morning wood killer?
I grunted because this bitch is u-g-l-y. "Yeah," I greeted with a clipped tone.
"Edward Cullen?" she asked with a clipped tone right back.
I raised my eyebrows and eyed her warily. "Yeah," I snipped again, but this time kinda breathy because I am confused as fuck.
She hands me some paperwork she has clutched in one hand while she walks in uninvited.
Well come on in Biiitch.
I furrowed my brow and whipped around watching her with my jaw dropped and I am ready to yell at the rude tight ass. "Excuse me-" I started, but she cut me off with a wave of a dismissive hand and a glare.
Who the fuck does she think she is?
"Those papers are your rights as a father. Her mother passed away during childbirth and has no family; the state pushed this through and granted your rights this morning. If you wish to push for adopting her into another family then sign the yellow lines if you wish to keep her the pink lines need to be signed so we can record with the state that you are taking her in. Also her birth certificate needs to be signed. Her papers are all on their way. You have a month to make the final decision before the state comes to remove her for a custody hearing for neglecting to sign," she continued as if she just told me her favorite color was magenta. "You are allowed to take a paternity test. Her mother said you are the father and if it turns out that you are not we can put her into the states custody. Do you wish to keep her? You can sign the yellow lines right now."
I was speechless and couldn't breathe. "What?" I choked out completely going out of my ever fricken mind.
She handed me the white and pink basket, I didn't look. "Meet your daughter Lyla Addison Cullen, she is four days old. The hospital sent some necessities and there are booklets and papers with info needed on how to care for a newborn. Her mother was Kate Carmichael she signed all the necessary paperwork to make sure you have the option to take in your daughter."
She started walking towards the front door. "Have a nice day Mr. Cullen."
I heard the latch click, she put a white and pink bag in front of the door and then the door shut with a resounding thud. My hands were shaking and I looked down.
I looked down.
And I gasped. She was a fucking slice of heaven. Perfect. Beautiful. Mine. My daughter.
OH…MY…GOD
She was so small. I sat down legs crossed. The basket was in my lap and I just stared at her.
No…NO…NOOOOOOO
This isn't right…she's not mine.
The sound of padding footsteps came up behind me. "HOLY SHIT! What the hell is that Edward?" Emmett boomed from behind me.
The baby startled and started to cry. I panicked. I set her down on the floor and backed away.
Little wails that sounded like a tiny cats cry started resounding throughout the large living room.
Emmett was standing staring at the baby and I was panicking running my hands through my hair as I paced the little area around the basket.
"What the hell you dicks!" Jasper padded in rubbing his temples. He stopped with his jaw unhinged staring. "What is that?" He asked dumbly.
Just like Emmett. I glowered at both of them. . .coming out from my mini breakdown. "What the hell do you assholes think it is?"
Emmett tip toed over and peaked inside, I refrained from head butting his dumbass. Little tiny arms flailed and she got really red. Emmett bent down and picked her up. I freaked out and was ready to rush him; she looked like you could break her with a flick of your pinky.
He held her in has large hands, they cradled her. He began swaying her lightly and she calmed down. Her wails turned to tiny chest heaves. She was asleep… again.
"What is it doing here?" Jasper the ever persistent douche asked.
"She's supposedly my daughter," I said softly as I waved around the papers and plopped down onto the couch.
Emmett walked over and sat down next to me. He laid her on his massive chest, I stared at him and he stared back. "How do you know what to do?" I asked trying to understand. I was kind of feeling sick about it because I didn't know what the hell to do.
Emmett smiled his huge goofy grin. "I watch a lot of those baby shows on T.V."
My brows shot up and I stared at him in complete disbelief.
Why the fuck is Emmett watching baby shows?
"Wait. . .Whoa. . .Your daughter?" Jasper asked an hour later. I turned my gaze to him and kept myself from lunching myself at him. What. A. Douche. Emmett lightly rubbed her back seemingly coming out of his mini shock too.
I sighed heavily and leaned over resting my head in my hands. "Yeah…a woman named…Kate Carmichael, she uh…she passed away," I said in a whisper not knowing what the hell to do. I felt so fucking disgusting for not remembering her. GOD I AM A GRADE A ASSHOLE.
"What are you going to do?" Jasper came over and sat in front of me resting his arms along his bent knees.
I shook my head slowly not knowing what to do at all. I was in a simple term fucked royally. "They said I have a month," I croaked out. My emotions were everywhere. I didn't want this, I didn't need this, and I didn't even know if she's really mine.
Yeah you are a complete loser…keep lying to yourself dickhead.
Jasper removed the papers from my hands and started reading and going over them.
"What is her name?" Emmett whispered. Her little form was curled up like a cat on his chest.
"Lyla Addison Cullen," I whispered brokenly. My entire voice was tight and strained.
"That is really pretty. . . she's beautiful" Jasper said quietly looking up and meeting my eyes. I smiled a little and nodded my head in agreement.
So many things were reeling through my mind. . .
I am a father. . .I am a daddy. . .I have a daughter. . .Lyla
"This here is info for a paternity test. . .want to make an appointment?" Jasper asked quietly fingering a piece of paper. He may be the dumbest fucking person I know, but his heart was always in the right place.
I furrowed my brow and swallowed heavily. Even though I wasn't ready to be a father and this was just too fucking weird and mind blowing. . .I know in my heart she's mine.
I glanced at her tiny curled up body and minutely shook my head. "She's. . . my baby," I admitted out loud and felt a tear fall from my eye and quickly swiped it away. My whole body swelled with warmth and my heart fell in love.
I am a daddy!
Jasper nodded and had a small smile. "We need to call mom."
I sucked in a breath knowing this will upset her. . . and make her bawl in happiness all at the same time. She was going to be so upset that I don't even remember Lyla's mother. I slumped my shoulders suddenly feeling nauseous. I wonder if I could get a picture of Kate so I could try to remember her so I can tell my daughter. . .something about her mother.
Jasper would take the liberty of calling our mother Esme; she was out of the country for the next month working with my father Carlisle on Doctors Without Borders. We couldn't ask her to come home because that was extremely important, and we couldn't tell her over the phone. So we waited.
She wasn't their birth mother. She is the only real mother they would ever know though. She loved Emmett and Jasper like her own. She made them call her mom so they do. Emmett and Jasper's mother's are collagen loving-Valium popping-witches so it works out for the best.
Jasper walked over to the bag left by the door and pulled the things out that the hospital sent. A ton of papers and pamphlets came out, he read them. Then he pulled out diapers, bottles, wipes, and green nipple things. A round can of formula came out. Jasper opened it taking a sniff then turned green looking like he was going to hurl.
"Fuck that's gross," he gasped out and quickly covered the formula can.
I smiled and glanced at Emmett who fell asleep, I just stared at the little girl that already had my heart and I don't even know her.
"Well according to this list we need to go shopping for Lyla…where are we going to put her for sleeping and stuff?" Jasper asked standing up. He was bringing the bag full of things into the adjoining kitchen.
He walked back out and gave me a small smile. I returned it and licked my lips then groaned.
"In my room?" I asked slowly.
That's what you do with newborns…right?
He nodded and tapped Emmett on the shoulder. Emmett glanced at Lyla smiled softly, then glared at Jasper.
"We need to get Lyla baby things…will you be alright?" Jasper asked. I choked on air with complete horrified features clouding my face.
Emmett…alone…with my…Lyla?
Hell. No.
"Are you crazy?" I hissed at Jasper.
Emmett looked offended and narrowed his eyes at me. "What the fuck Edward?" he hissed at me. Lyla made a little sucking noise, but was still asleep…we were all frozen and not breathing.
A loud whoosh of us letting out our held in breaths was heard. "She is…just so small," I cried.
Emmett raised an eyebrow. "I got this Edward…go get what we need and we'll figure all this out. But right now this little booger needs baby stuff."
I swallowed thickly and narrowed my eyes and pointed a finger in warning at him. "If I come back and…I swear Em take care of her."
He nodded and glanced down. "Yeah no problem. How hard can it be?" he asked with a shrug.
I lowered my finger and glanced at Lyla. I haven't touched her yet…I am terrified of her to be honest. So I stood and shuffled over towards Lyla bending over I lightly brushed my lips on her completely bald head.
I love you, Lyla.
I gave Em a pointed glance. "I mean it Em she's my baby," I warned with a constricted chest. I walked briskly to my room to get dressed. I quickly got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The faster we go the faster we can get back to Lyla.
I met Jasper in the living room where he was reciting the suggestions he was reading about feeding and diaper changing. "…and all the materials are in the kitchen."
Emmett nodded and reached for the remote flicking on the T.V.
Jasper and I grabbed our wallets by the front door and headed down to the streets of New York City. . .to shop. . .for a baby.
When we got to the baby furniture store Jasper said it was known for really furniture. . . we looked like complete retards.
An older sales lady came to our rescue with understanding eyes and helped us order everything. Fuuuuuuck who knew babies needed sooooo much.
We got a crib, changing table, bassinet, glider with ottoman, dresser, crib bedding and a hamper.
It would be delivered later today. We paid extra for that.
Next we went and bought baby clothes. Women holding babies in chest thingies stared at us, little kids with snotty faces stared at us, and crying babies were…every-fucking-where.
Another kind sales lady came to our rescue and told us stories about her single son who was a father. It relaxed us because she gave us advice and let us know all the different articles of clothing and what they were for. We got bibs, dresses, onesies, pants, sweaters everything was up to three months. She said to come back when she needs more. We let her know we would be back and thanked her. We walked out looking like some male version of Sex and The City. It was embarrassing and disturbing.
We hailed a cab and put all the bags in the back. We had him head to the grocery/department store. We paid him to wait which he obliged happily…well he was happy to take our money. We walked inside and held the list in our hands this time we had a mother who was happy to help us with the best bottles, nipples for the bottles, formula, car seats for all five vehicles, three strollers, ten blankets, baby bathing tub, baby bathing supplies, high chair, pacifiers, diapers, wipes, four bouncers, manly diaper bags, monitors, two swings, three play yards, and three baby carriers/slings. JESUS CHRIST.
We paid to get this shit delivered too. We had no room in the cab for it. MY GOD.
The cab driver was happy for collecting our huge tab, but whatever I was just anxious to make sure Em and Lyla were okay. I forgot my cell phone back at home because I was in such a rush to leave.
We grabbed our bags and rushed upstairs. When we got to the front door we heard her tiny cries. I panicked and busted through the door.
Emmett looked at me with wide hysterical eyes. Lyla was on the floor with baby powder all around her, four destroyed diapers, and wipes were all over the place.
"She is poopy…I need help," Em pleaded with me.
I nodded and walked over kneeling next to them and Lyla was screaming at the top of her lungs, it caused my heart to tug in a very bad way. "Shhh," I cooed to her and remembered what one of the ladies said at the store. So I grabbed a clean diaper and gently grabbed Lyla by both of her ankles and lifted her tiny butt in the air, sliding the fresh open diaper underneath. I took a shaky breath and glanced at Em "Wipes?" I asked.
Emmett scrambled on his knees to the wipes box a few feet away and brought it over. Another loud exhale from me and I tenderly cooed to my baby as I ripped the little tabs open. I looked at Em and Jasper with wide alarmed eyes.
"Am I…am I okay to touch her?" I asked hoping this wasn't like weird…or anything.
Emmett nodded, but Jasper snapped his fingers and sprinted to the kitchen. He ran back out seconds later. "Here!" he called carrying a turkey baster and a bowl of water with him. I scowled at him.
God he was soooo dumb!
"What?" he asked and kneeled next to us. I shook my head at him and pulled the dirty diaper forward.
"OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!" Emmett bellowed.
"Jesus mother loving Christ!" Jasper gasped.
"What the hell is that?" I asked.
It was absolutely disgusting, yellow and seedy looking. It smelled like death and sour cheese it was absolutely vile.
"What the fuck is wrong with her?" Emmett asked with wide worried eyes.
"Is that supposed to smell and look like that…shit?" Jasper breathed in disbelief.
I held out my hand for the turkey baster, I couldn't touch that. Jasper filled it with water and handed it to me. I squirted it at her bum with no luck of washing off the sickening matter.
"I need gloves," I gasped out putting my nose in my shirt sleeve.
Emmett jumped up and ran away like a lunatic. He bounded back in with heavy thuds. He handed me black leather gloves with metal studs. I looked at him with a scowl.
"Really Em your fetish gloves?" I asked as I slipped them on.
"WAIT!" Jasper bellowed with a horrified face. I stopped and looked at him. "You don't use those for like sex stuff do you?" he asked Emmett seriously. Whispering sex because of Lyla I am guessing even though we have been cussing up a storm.
Emmett gaped like a fish while I grimaced. "No shit…I have never…why would I let my sex objects touch Lyla?" Emmett argued with his hands on his hips.
Jasper just shook his head and I went back to the task at hand. I grabbed a few wipes and pursed my lips and went in for the kill. I started with about ten wipes and grabbed about thirty more before she was clean.
I slipped the other diaper on and handed Jasper the dirty one, he grimaced and took it with the tips of his fingers and ran to the garbage in the kitchen. It's the only one with a lid.
I redressed the very distressed baby and cupped my hands lifting her gently to me. Her wailing form was rigid and her head was resting on my shoulder.
"Uh what else is wrong?" I started to panic because her diaper was clean.
"Does she need to be burped?" Jasper asked standing next to me looking all worried at Lyla.
I furrowed my brow. "Didn't that lady say that usually comes after eating?" I asked a little worried myself. I slightly bounced my daughter in my hands.
Jasper snapped his fingers again and gaped at him like he was total idiot because he was. "Food I bet she's hungry when they are new like this they eat every few hours…right?" Jasper asked with his own furrowed brows.
"Yeah we can't warm it in the microwave, just on the stove," Emmett piped in his own T.V. show coverage as we made our way to the kitchen.
Jasper and Emmett looked like two primates trying to figure out how to open a banana. I was starting to get irritated because they were taking forever and Lyla was screaming at me.
"Alrighty this says this amount of water with this amount of formula," Emmett rambled as he looked at the bottles ounce lines. "We should make her four ounces…yeah."
Jasper scoops some formula as Em fills it with water to the bottom line. Jasper puts the powder substance into the water and Emmett caps it with the nipple. Em shakes it vigorously.
Jasper had a pot of warm water waiting on the stove and Em put it in the water.
"How do you know when it's warm enough?" I asked irritably. I was impatient to sooth my daughter.
Jasper grabbed the bottle and squirts a little on his wrist. "Not ready yet still too cool for her to enjoy."
I nodded and run a hand gently up and down Lyla's back and started humming to her.
A few moments later Jasper tested it again and hands me the bottle. I timidly take it and make my way back to the living room and settled on the couch. I don't know how to hold her, so I put my thighs together and lay her down in between them her head toward my knees.
Jasper and Emmett surrounded me and I glanced at them. They give me encouraging nods and small smiles. That was what I needed as I take the bottle and put the nipple in Lyla's mouth.
She suctions and latches on with far more force than I expected and almost ripped it away from my hand. I laughed and a few tears fell. I don't wipe them away because I am not ashamed of this moment because it's so damn beautiful.
Quietly she suckles and settles down. Her tiny chest heaves from her traumatizing moment. A tiny suckling noise mesmerizes all of us. We watch this baby eat for her precious life. It's breathtaking.
"Wow she's going to town," Emmett breathed.
I nodded and smiled. "Yeah she was hungry…what happens after this?"
"I think we burp her…then rock her?" Jasper said with a slight question.
We don't have a rocker yet, but I can try to do my best by just swaying and rocking her in my arms.
When she starts sucking air I take it away and her tiny lips keep suckling. We all chuckled at this as I lifted her gently to rest her head on my shoulder and glanced again at Em and Jas to see if this was okay.
They nodded encouragingly again as I raised my hand and very carefully tapped her back with my full palm just like the lady instructed, this goes on for awhile. Then all of the sudden I felt a gush of warm liquid and heard a small satisfied grunt.
I panicked and looked over. I saw white baby backwash all over my vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt. It smelled like rotten soured pizza and jock straps. No wonder her poo was so foul.
Jasper jumped and ran wildly to the hallway bathroom. He brought back a wet wash cloth handing it to me as I very carefully handed Lyla over to him. I cleaned off my t-shirt and walked into my bedroom tossing it into the hamper. I put on a very average t-shirt and walked back out to the living room where some cartoon with a yellow square is on the T.V.
"I think she may be a little young for cartoons," I chided softly and stared at Lyla lying in Jasper's arms like a cradle.
A knock raps at the door and I rushed over to answer it.
Within the next hour all of Lyla's necessities are delivered.
The next four hours were all three of us putting everything together and situating everything in certain places. We had a large study so we put what we're not using currently in there for later use. Jasper and Emmett fought over who was going to feed Lyla next. So after three rounds of paper, rock, scissors Emmett was next…then Jas.
The only thing we didn't fight over was changing her diaper. Over the next few days that was always my job which I got comfortable with after the first ten or so. We all currently played for the New York Rangers hockey team. It's our off season so we had a ton of free time.
We are all getting up with her in the middle of the night, all of us are exhausted. We had her sleeping in the bassinet for now and interchanged her into each of our rooms. But we all ended up getting up with her anyway during the night. We had a system and make bottles, warm bottles, and rocked Lyla. All three of us taking responsibility in the middle of the night was a bonding experience like no other.
I cried to them in appreciation for their amazing support these last couple of nights. Yes I am a pussy when it came to my daughter. Her eyes were still a dark grey blue which her pediatrician said was normal for her age. She was perfect in weight and height. She was still bald.
I sent the papers back to the state letting them know I was claiming my daughter as my own. I also signed her birth certificate and received her social security card.
Jasper researched Kate Carmichael and pulled up her info. She was thirty three and a single child that lost her parents two years ago. She was beautiful, and I vaguely remembered her. She had a musical laugh and worked at a nice restaurant near the stadium. I don't want to ever have to tell Lyla that her mother was a meaningless one night stand of many. But I won't lie to her either. So I plan on finding out everything about Kate that I could. I wanted to make a small journal for Lyla when she gets older and wants to know about her mother.
I just hope that I don't screw this up…being a father.
So tell me what you think?