AN: original idea here! I decided to be creative. ;)
Native America is not a villain. Really. Well...maybe a little by some of her actions. But she will be a protagonist.
This chapter is fully edited!
warning: Alfred doesn't buy a burger when he could. Gasp! There also might be some FrUk later in the fic, but if it happens, it's not the end pairing.
Don't own anything except for the idea.
I corrected some bugs. Thanks for math music reading's suggestions. Some of the logic was off, sorry! The whole first chapter was written in a bit of a rushed state because I was traveling.
If it needs to be clarified: Alfred was looking for Arthur on purpose, and suddenly saw Arthur. He wanted Arthur to come to the reunion.
アーサー·カークランドの憂鬱
The Melancholy of Arthur Kirkland
Chapter 1:
The Regrets of Arthur Kirkland
Arthur Kirkland hardly thinks himself to be successful. In fact, he doesn't think it a far stretch to say that he's a failure.
Almost eight years have passed ever since he graduated from his ideal university, with honors, but here he is, working at the counter of a McDonald's, one of the fast food stores which he once regarded with contempt.
Quite a difference from what he imagined his dream job as.
Sometimes Arthur wonders why he chose to read English Literature out of all the possible subjects. It ends up having nothing to do with the job he holds currently, and hardly does him any good in daily life.
Arthur's certainly well-versed in the classics and writing papers, but that's hardly anything he touches upon now.
It really is true, how the state of your future is very unpredictable.
Everything seemed to be pointing towards success for him in high school. Arthur was a model student, the salutatorian (one of his greatest regrets yet), vice captain of the debate team, secretary for student council...
All of which have no use in his life currently. Frankly, he joined those clubs for academic purposes only, not really because he was interested.
There's only so much studying you can take before it becomes a heavy burden.
Speaking of what he was actually interested in, Arthur never accomplished most of his goals during high school either. The ones he always dreamed of doing.
He did not run for student council president, didn't learn to play the guitar or join a band, didn't improve his honestly pathetic friend count (less than five, and they weren't close friends anyway, other than maybe Alfred)...
The list goes on and on, Arthur thinks as he rubs at his eyes, taking an order from an obese man who smells of cigarette smoke.
Maybe Arthur should've went for something he was really interested in. He enjoyed reading and writing very much, but once a hobby becomes a burden...well, it isn't as enjoyable anymore.
Arthur hated the essays and papers especially, and his interest in prose and poetry rapidly dropped once he began to stay up late in order to complete assignments. He still has those dark circles under his eyes and his sad vision as proof of his stress.
All the complaining and regrets aside, Arthur just wants to find a better, full-time job. Something other than working at McDonalds. Or KFC. Or Burger King. Or whatever else there is.
Arthur is grateful that at least he hasn't fallen to the point of begging on the streets or being homeless. That's the true extreme of the spectrum, something he hopes he never will have to do.
The door swings open and another customer enters, interrupting Arthur's thoughts.
He's about to repeat the usual welcome in monotone when he's cut off rather rudely by the customer, who's next words immediately stun Arthur into silence.
"Wait...You're Artie, right?"
…?!
That voice...it's scarily familiar, and...
Arthur lifts his head up with an alarming speed, connecting the dots inwardly as green eyes meet familiar blue.
He's someone Arthur never thought he'd meet again...
"...Alfred?"
Sure enough, the man in front of him is Alfred F. Jones, the star athlete who not just won about every sports scholarship offered, but also was the one who surpassed Arthur in grades.
Or, in more concise words, his former friend who he's always been semi-purposefully avoiding.
Alfred's changed from his younger self somewhat, with a different hairstyle and a more mature aura about him, but...
It's...Alfred. Arthur's...former friend...fine, one-sided crush back in high school...who...
Bloody hell, Arthur's still wearing the ridiculous uniform and all that, isn't he?
And they just had to meet again here, in a fast food store he once denounced as unhealthy and stupid, of all the possible places...
...Arthur just wants to cover his burning face and hide himself in a hole right now. Or run away. Yes, that sounds like a plausible option.
He never really got over those unrequited feelings for Alfred, and it's still affecting Arthur, even though it's already been several years.
"Whaaaaat? You must be kidding me! The Arthur Kirkland, working at a McDonald's? I thought I saw wrong, but it's really you. Didn't you major in reading or writing?"
Alfred looks just about surprised as he can get, and Arthur has to hide a flinch at the question which people always has to ask him.
Yes, yes. He isn't successful. But that doesn't mean that Arthur likes everyone bringing up old wounds!
"It's English Literature, not...reading. Or writing. And unfortunately, yes. I am currently working here, so sorry if that bothers you."
...Arthur didn't plan on sounding so...offensive and rude, but the words just came naturally along with his frustration and confusion.
It's another one of his problems, the fact that he always acts particularly disagreeable whenever he's nervous or embarrassed, that is.
The knowledge that Alfred and Arthur had parted on a less-than-pleasant note doesn't help with the current situation. At all.
What happened was...At the end of their senior year, Arthur had finally mustered up enough courage, deciding to tell Alfred about, well…
Arthur confessed his feelings at the graduation party, in front of everyone too, which was something he did stupidly and out of pure impulse. A truly humiliating experience.
It wouldn't have been, if everything went smoothly.
(He's reached the age when he can say "Ah...That's what being young is like...", hasn't he?)
Arthur thought that Alfred liked him too, at least from what the cheerful boy had said and done...like that time during the class trip, when they snuck out at night and watched the stars together. Or when Alfred's face was dangerously close to Arthur's during a study session at the library.
If that didn't mean anything, then Arthur's not a Kirkland.
He thought that at least this one dream would also come true, just like how he was accepted by the university he wanted...but it only became another memory of his teenage years he would rather not recall.
Humiliating. Embarrassing. Devastating.
...Because Alfred said "No".
If there's one thing Arthur hates about Alfred, it's how he always manages to act so oblivious, so calm and cheerful when the atmosphere obviously isn't so.
Like, say, now.
"...It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Alfred is suddenly staring at Arthur now, and he is stunned into nodding, unsure of what to reply.
"Yes...Uh, would you like to order something?" Arthur coughs awkwardly, asking the question not because he wants Alfred to leave, per se, but because the manager, Ms. Héderváry, is looking a little...frightening. And besides, they are attracting many stares from the other customers.
"Maybe some other time, but, uh...I was looking for you because of the high school reunion, and then I found you, so yeah. I'll be going unless something comes up, and you definitely should come!"
Alfred's words sounds more serious now, if not a bit rushed, and he stuffs the envelope into Arthur's hands, before waving and leaving Arthur standing behind the counter, holding the letter all while feeling bewildered.
Just like that?
(...Nothing else?)
"Arthur, who was that?" Ms. Héderváry immediately sidles up to him, a strangely excited expression on her face, which rather unnerves Arthur. Shouldn't she be angry that he wasn't doing his job?
"...Just a high school classmate," Arthur replies, despite knowing that Alfred isn't just any high school classmate to him.
Ugh...He's obviously not over Alfred yet...
Somehow though, the response makes the brunette woman seem more excited, confusing Arthur even more.
Does she like gossip?
"Keep me updated...Artie!" And she immediately adopts that blasted nickname of his, from nobody other than Alfred, of course.
Just brilliant.
So...the high school reunion, which Arthur never attended before. But this time Alfred personally gave it to him, as if he wanted Arthur to...come.
"To Arthur Kirkland..." Arthur reads the words on the letter out loud, feelings mixed about whether he wants to attend or not.
Because...who would want to meet them again when the last time they all saw each other, Arthur confessed his feelings for Alfred?
But...it would be nice to see how his classmates are doing. That sort of thing. Although they'd probably ask about what he is doing currently.
That, well...
And Alfred would definitely be there...though he did say "unless something comes up"...Knowing him, Alfred would probably be there even if he has business…
But Arthur isn't even part of Alfred's life anymore. How'd he know what Alfred does and values now?
What would that have to do with him going or not anyway. Sigh.
What a decision he has to make...To go or not to go? Arthur wants to pull at his hair with frustration, but he resorts to telling himself to calm down and decide.
He can't afford to be frustrated and angry every single day.
Even though he is still fervently going over the options in his head, Arthur already knows that, deep down, he wants to go. His curiosity is growing and growing, and it's becoming harder to refuse the invitation that he used to ignore.
But in the end, it's mainly because of Alfred, isn't it? Alfred found him and personally told him he should go. And Arthur wants to know...wants to know what Alfred's been doing.
He uselessly denies it for a few more minutes, but gives in and decides to make himself a cup of tea.
(...Arthur's definitely going.)
Why is everyone staring at him?
"...Hello," Arthur says after a moment of awkward silence, and it seems to vanish just as quick as it started, with everyone walking over to greet him with smiles on their faces.
They're mostly as he remembers, except for the little differences and changes which naturally develops over the years.
Francis, Kiku, Feliciano, Yao, Ludwig...Ivan is here too, among many others. Alfred though...Arthur is definitely not disappointed when he doesn't see him. He doesn't care at all whether Alfred comes or not, and Arthur doesn't feel anything at the fact that he isn't here.
(...yet?)
"Why all the stares..." Arthur mutters to himself, a little louder than he wanted, which guaranteed the response of one frog.
"Well, it's because of your impressive deficiency in the social department, mon ami. They were simply surprised you even showed up." Francis smiles in his usual, annoying fashion, and Arthur scowls in response.
Arthur knows that Francis is avoiding the obvious and saying something else to distract him, but he doesn't take the bait.
Though he does feel grateful. A little.
They didn't grow up neighbors for nothing. Despite their frequent squabbles, Arthur and Francis still help each other in times of need. Like now, for example.
But...Arthur can guarantee that everyone remembers what happened the last time they were all gathered together, and he does know perfectly well why they all stared at him.
And knowing Arthur's luck, it's none other than because—
"The hero...is….here! Remember when I used to say that all the time?" The loud, cheery voice stops Arthur short in his thoughts, and he quickly turns away.
Of course Alfred would attend. Not doing so would be very unlike him.
The subject of his worries proceeds to walk in, giving Arthur a smile that he tries desperately to ignore.
"Arthur, you really came!"
"...Yes."
Don't talk to Alfred...Don't talk to him...
Talk to Alfred...Talk to him...Maybe ask him why...It's another chance.
The two voices are still arguing in Arthur's head when someone else enters the room, large dress floating everywhere in the air.
Wait...she's...
Arthur suddenly has a sinking feeling inside, recognizing the woman as the Native American girl a year above them.
...Who Alfred often mentioned...his sort-of "big sister" who used to play with him…
No way...They're just friends...
Arthur feels suddenly colder, and he stands unmoving as he stares at the two, hoping that what he's thinking isn't true. She probably just came to give Alfred something.
"This is..." Kiku speaks slowly to break the strange silence, and Alfred is about to reply when the woman cuts him off, placing her arm around him.
"I'm his fiancée," she says with a bright smile, and nearly the whole room explodes in voices at the declaration, all the former classmates obviously shocked at the sudden revelation.
"Wait, I-" Alfred seems about to say something, but his voice is drowned out by the crowd's chatter as they gather to congratulate him, blocking him from Arthur's sight.
The enthusiasm is reasonable, since the "cool guy" of their class is getting married after all.
Arthur only stands where he is, feeling sick as the realization that Alfred is engaged finally sinks in, even though he knows that it's not unusual.
They're almost thirty. Having a fiancée is perfectly normal...but...
Why does Arthur feel so hollow? Why does he feel like crying, even?
"Ah...congratulations," is all Arthur manages to say as he tries to keep himself from leaving the room immediately.
That would be painfully obvious. This reunion is already a disaster...Arthur doesn't want to ruin it further for himself...
He swears he can feel his heart aching though as he stares at Alfred, whose guilty expression Arthur doesn't miss.
Why? What's even the point of looking guilty?
"Arthur, I-" Alfred opens his mouth, evidently about to say something, but Arthur cuts him off, not wanting to hear anything anymore.
"I don't need your pity," Arthur blurts out, inwardly cursing himself soon after the words leave his mouth.
Idiot, idiot, idiot! Everyone's already staring, and it must be very obvious...His face is heating up now, and it must be as red as a tomato...
"Sorry. I was just surprised," Arthur says lamely, not meeting Alfred's eyes. Or anyone's eyes.
Why does he always have to be so cruel? Why invite Arthur to the reunion when his fiancée is coming? When he knows?
But then again, what right does Arthur have to tell Alfred not to inform everyone of his marriage? Just because he confessed his feelings years ago?
The sympathetic glances from some others in the room is the straw that breaks the camel's back, and Arthur tries to hide his clenched fists and not-very-pleasant facial expression as he grits his teeth and speaks.
"Excuse me. I need to pick up my mother from the airport." It's a blatant lie, obviousobviousobvious, but Arthur doesn't care.
He just wants to leave.
Arthur never should've came anyway.
It's raining. It's pouring. What's that next line again?
Whatever. It's not important at all currently.
How perfect, Arthur thinks as he curses quietly. Alfred brings his fiancée to the reunion and Arthur forgets his umbrella.
Today really is such a perfect day, he thinks bitterly.
After a few more seconds of sulking, Arthur eventually ventures out into the rain, with only his jacket to cover himself as he walks forward, planning to find either a taxi or somewhere to wait until the rain stops.
"Wait, Artie! Artie!"
Bloody—
"Arthur? Can you let me explain?"
Arthur doesn't look back, only quickening his steps slightly. He doesn't want an explanation and doesn't need an explanation.
Arthur doesn't need to be comforted.
The volume of Alfred's voice makes it impossible to deny hearing him though, and Arthur turns, trying to muster what he hopes to be a venomous glare at Alfred.
"Goodness! Can't you leave me alone for once?" Arthur doesn't wait for a response, turning around and walking forward briskly. Alfred certainly sound as if he has something to say, but...
Arthur's tired. He's had just about enough. First that completely unexpected rejection years ago, and now this. Arthur's completely tired of Alfred's unreadable actions now.
"She's not my fiancée!" Alfred tries to pull at Arthur's arm, but he's quickly pushed away roughly, simply because Arthur feels alarm at his slightly improving mood.
So what if Alfred denies it? He's just trying to appease Arthur and calm him down.
"She's not? Well, she already said-" Arthur never finishes though, because the first thing he sees when he looks back at Alfred is the blinding bright...lights of a...car?
Good Lord—
It's honking its horn as gets closer and closer to Alfred, who's still frozen right there in the middle of the road, eyes widening in surprise and realization, but it'smuchtoolate—
Arthur runs forward to push Alfred away.
Anything but him dying...He can't die...
(The last things he hears is a blaring noise (ambulance?) and Alfred's voice begging him to stay awake.)
AN: thanks for reading. follow/fav/review? See you next chapter!