The Adventures of Anorexic Anti-Kairi!!!

(original title)

Yeah. The typical story's starting: I got bored. :)
This is my favorite and easiest creation so enjoy! Oh and I also got a review from TheSoulForgotten of Quizilla, who is AWESOME by the way, but yeah, I had it reviewed on the highest level, level 3. . Of course that's not saying a whole lot because, well, as she says, it's a comic, and I don't have to be a great writer or anything. But yeah so here ya go.

"-Wow.. ummm.. just wow. This is really funny. Lots of OOCness. I love it.

-I love what you've done to Maleficent.

-Little disjointed.

-I can't really critique this too much, because I am not that familiar with comics but I did my best. It was really funny.

Overall rating A"

Yayz!! thank you Soul-chan! OK now go on for the curtain call (which is before the show just to mix it up)!!

Disclaimers for the whole story: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I would be awesome. But I don't, Square-Enix and Tetsuya Nomura do. Also, I did borrow a couple things from Shrek, the movies, and that would belong to DreamWorks, the movie people. And if I forgot anything else I'll put it here.

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"Hello," comes the announcer's voice, "and welcome to Alisyn Coleman's…The Adventures of Anorexic Anti-Kairi! Starring…

"Monstro!"

A projector screen shows a picture of the whale's insides where everybody in the game normally chats to each other and fights stuff.

"Um…yeah, well…he's more of a place. But he's a living thing so he can go in here.

"Next we have…Pinocchio!"

Pinocchio walks on stage proudly.

"He pretty much just lays there unconscious!"

Pinocchio glares, but walks offstage.

"A random shadow! He's just some wimpy shadow."

Another glare comes to the announcer from the cute little Shadow who walks across the stage and then disappears on the other side.

"Fatso 1! A large body. A mute. He's scary.

"Fatso 2! Another one. Less scary.

"Fatso 3! Yet another one."

The three Fatsos go by stupidly one by one.

"Pirate 1! He likes dragging around anorexic people.

"Pirate 2! He does, too. It builds muscles.

"Pirate 3! He got stuck carrying a dinky shadow."

Yay for the pirates as they walk across the stage!

"The waiter! He's kinda grumpy. No one ever comes to his café. And his candles are, like, waterproof or something."

The waiter stomps across the stage, refusing to look at anyone.

"Goofy! A stupid mute. Bo-ring."

Goofy mimes his way across genially, followed by…

"Donald! I wish he was a mute."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Donald stops in the middle to yell. But the announcer ignores him and the duck gets bumped into by…

"Maleficent! Uh…she's evil."

Maleficent glares sinisterly at Donald, who finally shuts up and leaves.

"Cid! A gross old man."

Cid enters and grins creepily at the audience.

"Mysterious Man! Uh…he's a man…and he's mysterious."

The Mysterious Man nods and leaves without further comment. Ooh, mysterious.

"Naminé! A little air-headed twit, and the world's little angel of joy. Will do whatever anyone tells her to do."

Naminé bounces across the stage innocently and gives an endearing smile to the audience, who "awwww" in unison.

"Sora! A shallow little punk. Cares more about his hair than his girlfriend."

Sora trudges on stage, uncaring, and gives a passive look at the audience. He yawns, then exits.

"Sora!!!" comes a voice from offstage, and a chick with a gratingly shrill voice runs on stage, looking for her boyfriend.

"Um…er…Yes, this is…Kairi! Also pretty shallow, but only because she's another air-headed twit who worships the water she thinks Sora walks on. And she always has to have a boyfriend. Or she'll go nuts."

"Where's Sora!?!" Kairi cries.

The announcer points the other way, exasperated, and Kairi runs off.

"Next is…Anti-Sora! A pretty awesome dude. Likes to sing. Gangster."

Anti-Sora gives the "peace out" sign to the audience and walks off with his gangster walk.

"Riku! A manipulating little punk, even when he's not under Ansem's control. Also very prone to jealousy."

"Am not," Riku mutters as he slouches across the stage looking very emo.

"Fred! The only talking shadow you will ever meet. Very cynical and very smart, but the poor guy has a lot of bad luck."

Fred bounces across cutely and glares when the audience starts another "aww." The audience shuts up.

"And finally…the star of our show…"

A drum rolls, lights flash, and spotlights go berserk.

"ANTI-KAIRI!!!!!!!"

Anti-Kairi flounces on, reveling in the attention.

"Very, very evil. But sadly, not very, very smart."

"Hey!"

"In her natural state, she is enormously—"

"Shh!!! They're not supposed to know that!!"

"Well, okay, fine. Quick to take charge. Rushes into things. Likes drawing."

Anti-Kairi exits after blowing a kiss.

"And soon a doomed love will cause trouble for her plans to destroy Kairi and her friends…"

The band plays a "dum, dum, dummmm."

The lights turn off as Anti-Kairi peeks back onstage. "What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing," the announcer assures her, grinning.

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Whooo!! Hope you enjoyed that little tidbit. I don't really like this part as much since I have to make it in actual story form. But the rest will be better, I promise!

And keep in mind I make it OOC because it's funny that way, obviously. I have nothing against Kairi, or Sora, or Riku, or anybody else (well except maybe Cid, who really is a creepy old man).

Now remember before you leave:

"Anti-Kairi! With your hair so fiery! And your eyes are too…"