Today, I suddenly had the urge to write random Ouran one-shots…huh…
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Ouran High School Host Club.
Isn't making fun of Kyouya SO MUCH FUN?!
Even though he's smexy! ;)
"All I want from you is…" Renge paused, "…your VOICE!"
"…my… voice…" Kyouya replied.
"YUP!" she smiled, "And a one, and a two and a—"
"Renge…"
"Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea…"
"Renge…"
"Larengix glaucitis, et max laryngitis—"
"Renge."
"LA VOCE TO ME!"
Kyouya sighed and pushed up his glasses, "Renge, would you please stop acting like such a fool and give me the potion."
Renge smiled, "Anything for you, Kyouya!"
Kyouya sighed again as he received the 'Prep up +' potion.
The host club knew something was wrong when Kyouya asked them to show up 'fashionably late' for the club that day. Especially when the e-mail he sent them all read…
Hiya's! Tmro, mke sure not to shw up on time! Fshionably l8 is the way! We don't wnt to seem to eager, now!
Tata,
Kyouya :D
"Something's defiantly wrong with Kyou-chan…" a confused Honey said.
"Yeah," Mori agreed.
"I don't mean to sound rude…" Hikaru started.
"…but he's defiantly lost his mind." Kaoru finished.
"Oh, woe is me! Mommy dear has…has…CHANGED WITH OUT INFORMING DADDY!"
"Shut up, boss." Hikaru and Kaoru snapped at Tamaki, who was in his usual corner growing mushrooms.
"It probably wasn't even Kyouya-sempai who sent that e-mail," Haruhi reasoned, "He would never say anything like that…even to fool us."
Just as the host club was starting to agree with her, Kyouya pranced in the room, holding—
Wait, pranced?!
…holding two large shopping bags.
"There you are, Kyouya," Tamaki started, "now tell us—"
Kyouya gasped dramatically, "Shut the front door! What are you, like, wearing?!"
The junior was talking very…oddly, but still was talking in his almost monotone voice.
Tamaki's eyes widened, "What everyone else is wearing…the school uniform—"
"Bitch, please! Button up those buttons! You can't be seen like that—a man shouldn't show that much skin until he's married!"
Tamaki looked down, and saw that indeed, the button was undone, but his shirt was covering him.
"U-uh, Kyouya, I'm not—"
"Oh, so modest!" Kyouya exclaimed, "Call me Kyou-chan!"
Hikaru's eyes were almost falling out of his head, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KYOUYA-SEMPAI—"
"Kyou-chan!" he rang in, "or, you could always call me Kyou-badoe-badobobadoe-chan!"
"WAHHHH! He's scaring me!" Honey cried.
"Yeah." Mori agreed.
Kaoru had already run away and hid with Nekozawa.
Haruhi was just plain freaked, "Kyouya-sem…" she sighed as Kyouya warned her with a look, "Kyou-chan…why are you acting mentally insane?"
He gasped, "Mentally insane? Nonsense! Now come, let us do each others hair…"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tamaki woke up from his horrible, horrible nightmare. He breathed slowly to calm him self, "It…it was only a dream, thank goodness…but just to make sure…"
He ran downstairs to grab a phone and dialed Kyouya's cell number.
Kyouya picked up.
"What is it, Tamaki."
"…is that you…Kyou-chan?"
There was a long pause.
And suddenly, it appeared Kyouya had hung up.
Tamaki was scared, not knowing if his 'dream' was real or not.
As those thoughts ran through his mind, there was a knock at the door.
Tamaki, who was close to the door, decided to open it himself. When he did, there was a man standing there, "Um…yes?" Tamaki asked.
The man appeared to be filling a glove with bricks and then stood up, "Hello, Suou-san. This is from Master Kyouya."
The man took the glove and slapped it across Tamaki's face.
"GAH!" he screamed.
As Tamaki lay on the floor, the man dusted him self off, "Oh, and one more thing. Master Kyouya had this message:
You idiot!
…that is all."
The man dashed away, while Tamaki sat there in immense pain, "I guess I should've known…" he mumbled.
…you see, this is what happens when I don't have anything to do in the summer.
Review anyway!