Disclaimer: I don't own BioShock.

"Mmh...ooh...ahh...good...so good...harder...harder..."

"Yes...yes...uh...right t-there...ah...I...I love you so much, baby..."

Poseidon Plaza...

The song 'Beyond the Sea' played softly over the speakers.

Down in the dumps after his latest artistic venture was considered a 'failure' by the idiot masses, Sander Cohen was busy drowning his sorrows at Eve's Garden in alcohol and drugs.

"Those...those fools don't know art..." Sander grumbled loudly to himself, "They don't know art! They're all mindless, stupid fucks with no better interest but to stuff their own wallets and bellies till they explode! Fuck them all...to hell..."

Walking up beside him, Andrew Ryan tapped the brooding artisan on the shoulder and spoke up, "I'm glad I found you, Cohen. I have...a favor to ask of you."

Glancing up, Cohen smiled lazily and exclaimed, "Well, well, frickin' well! If it ain't the bloody king of Rapture, Andrew Ryan! Staying held up in that stuffy office of yours not workin' for ya? Wanna have a good time in Fort Frolic?! Come to have a fine old whore suck your dick, eh?! Heh heh...good times...good times..."

Ignoring the drunken man's disgruntled and annoying words, Andrew remained calm. "I've been searching for my fiancee, Diane, all day. I have been unsuccessful in finding her as of yet. I wish for you to aid me in my search."

"Whoa there, dear friend. No need to speak so...so well-mannered. We're all buddies here! You know I love you more than as a friend, and I wanna kiss you...but I don't, because I respect ya!" Cohen chuckled, slapping Andrew on the back for emphasis. He really was too drunk for his own good.

Andrew was becoming slightly pissed with his old friend's drunk attitude, but he took a deep breath and let it go.

"...Have you seen Ms. Jolene around, either?" he asked him.

Sander Cohen shrugged his slumped shoulders. "Hell if I know. She's your FAVORITE GIRL, ain't she? I thought, you know, you'd keep her on a leash or something..."

"You really do drink too much sometimes..." Andrew sighed.

"Only when I'm sad, my friend," Sander replied, "Only when I'm sad..."

"Ahh...ahh...ahh...AHHH...AHHHHH..."

"Ooh...you taste so good inside...mmm..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH..."

Andrew Ryan rose his head. "...Did he hear that?"

"Hear what?" Sander Cohen questioned, rubbing his head against the other man's arm affectionately.

Standing up, Andrew exclaimed, "THAT WAS...DIANE'S VOICE! SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S IN PAIN!!!"

"I...I don't hear anything..." Cohen stammered, trying to keep Andrew Ryan from freaking out.

"COME ON, YOU IDIOT! WE NEED TO SAVE HER!!!" Andrew pulled up Cohen by the collar and the two of them rushed off in the direction of Diane's cries, which happened to be coming from the 'backrooms' of the little strip club. As they drew closer, Diane's moans and groans grew louder.

"Uh...should we really go in there?" Cohen was feeling nervous, cringing at the sounds of gritty high-edge sex going on inside.

"DON'T ASK SUCH IDIOTIC QUESTIONS TO ME: ANDREW RYAN!!!" Smacking the door down with his own foot, the unscrupulous wannabe-dictator charged straight in ahead. However, what he found would change his entire outlook on life and love itself.

Diane McClintock was lying on her back atop the bed, completely naked with her legs spread wide open...and an equally nude Jasmine Jolene was licking her clit rather viciously.

Andrew Ryan's face fell, and Sander Cohen found himself bursting out into full-blown laughter. "THIS IS PROBABLY AS BAD AS THE TIME YOU SAW THAT SHOWPIECE I MADE WHEN I USED THE 'PENIS ENLARGEMENT' PLASMID ON ALL THE FEMALE DANCERS! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Diane rose her head, and realized who was standing in the doorway. "Oh dear..." Diane poked Jasmine in the head, and the blonde slut also figured out what was going on.

For a moment, Andrew Ryan's entire body shook with fury. He clenched his fists, bit his lip, and his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head. Then, a minute later, he calmed down. Sighing, Andrew Ryan turned around and started to walk away. "I need a Big Daddy and five Security-bots in here, stat...and don't forget the fuckin' plasmids this time."

'WAIT...HE'S GOING TO HAVE ME KILLED TOO?!' Sander Cohen gasped.