Coward

Rating: T

Authors Note: This is the original fic that started the three one-shots. Doesn't matter what order you read them in, I guess, but I wrote them as Coward, Weakling, Useless.

Summary:

Sasuke views himself as a coward for everything that he's done.

With everything that's happened between us, I don't think we can ever be rivals again.

We can't be friends either.

We are so much more, and yet so much less.

You were ready to give up everything for me; I saw it in your eyes.

You would have died for me, that day in the Valley of Ends, if it had been necessary.

And it hurt. It really hurt.

Seeing that you were ready to give up more than I was, I mean. You were ready for me to kill you. All I was ready to do was not kill you. Even that was pure cowardice. I don't think I could have killed you if I tried. Not after all we've been through, not after all those times you covered my ass. Those times meant more to me than I ever let on.

And I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill you.

I guess that's the difference between me and aniki, too. He would have given everything for power.

You would've given everything up for me.

So you have more in common with him than even I.

And me? I can't give up anything. I'm too scared. I guess that makes me a coward.

You told me that once, remember?

"Are you hurt, scaredy-cat?"

It was my phrase originally, but it belongs more to you than it ever did me. Because I've seen you, Naruto, and you've never been scared. Well, you are scared of stupid stuff; like Sakura when she's in one of her moods, or when Kakashi said perverted stuff. I've even seen you scared for someone else. I've seen you scared of losing. When we went up against Zabuza and Haku in Wave Country, you were scared of knowing that even Kakashi can be beaten.

But I don't think I've ever seen you scared for yourself.

I used to think that was because you were too stupid to realize that you weren't invincible, that you could die. I guess it made sense, after hearing all the other impossible stuff you believed. That you'd become Hokage, that Sakura would fall in love with you eventually, that you could beat me.

I guess I was the one who was wrong in the end, though, because those have almost come true. You're getting stronger every day, in a few years time, who's to say you won't become Hokage?

Sakura looks at you with something resembling respect these days. She didn't think I noticed, but I was watching out of the corner of my eye. And it almost made me jealous. God only knows, I want her off my case, but she looks at me with a pure, can-do-no-wrong blindness, whereas you had to earn that respect. You deserve it.

And as for beating me? Maybe you will one day.

So maybe you are invincible, after all.

The fact is, I already know that I can't beat you any more, and you keep getting stronger. One day soon, you'll be stronger than me.

And I'm scared of that day, because that'll be the day that even Dropout Naruto is better than me.

And aniki will be right. I really am just a little kid who has to run and hide to survive. I am just a coward who won't let go of a memory, thinking revenge will bring them back.

But things will never be the same between you and me.

Remember that last day at the academy? When you fell into me and we accidentally kissed? Remember our anger? Well, we'll never be like that again. Childish, pure, innocent enemies.

Remember the day we first faced Orochimaru in the Chuunin exam? When you kept fighting after I had given up? You defended me from myself.

"I can't be sure because I don't remember the password, but you aren't the Sasuke I know... you're an imposter."

You made it seem like the Sasuke you knew was a good person to know, a brave one. But I wasn't an imposter. And you were right. I am a scaredy cat. Will you ever defend me like that again?

Remember the day we were ready to kill each other? On the hospital roof? I'm glad Kakashi stopped us. I was honestly almost scared then. Of you. Will I ever look down on you again?

So much has changed since the academy. Yet so much remains the same.

You're still the loud, ramen loving, number one ninja at surprising people. I'm still a coward that's caught in the past.

And we're still rivals. We're still friends, too, and we still won't admit it.

But, Naruto, with every thing that's happened, I don't think we're ever going to be like we were before.

We'll never laugh at each other again, not the free, careless laughs of old. We'll never curse at each other again. At least, not in the simple, 'I-hate-you-you-stupid-bastard' kind of way we used to.

We'll never compete again, going flat out just to show up the other, and then falling down in exhaustion, both completely done in.

We'll never just sit together in silence; tired but content, watching the sky or the village.

Things'll never be the same between us.

And I'll...

I'll never get the chance to tell you this.

I miss you.

End

A/N: Blah, Blah, I know it's stupid and sappy. Get over it. Again, its not supposed to be yaoi or shonen ai. Repeat after me: Sasuke and Naruto are F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Only. (in this fic, anyway)

Oh, and I'd just like to mention, I detest Sasuke, but I really like writing in his POV. (Does that say something about me? ...Maybe I like hating myself? LOL, hope not...)