AN: Welcome! This is a birthday fic for one of my dearest friends in the world, aclockworKat. For this challenge, she sent me quite a few interesting prompts across four different fandoms. At first it was difficult to decide which prompt to choose, but after a recent conversation we had, the answer became clear. She wants me to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone, and to do that, I decided to select the Frozen/Rise of the Guardians fandoms. These are worlds I'm not extremely versed in, nor have I read any of the fanfics out there (although I will begin after this!). I have done some research to keep the characters' personalities as cannon as possible, but there may still be a few discrepancies, and for that I apologize. To make this all the more challenging for myself, I chose the most difficult prompt (in my opinion), which entails me writing this in first person AND in Jack's perspective. I can't remember the last time I wrote in first person, and I know for a fact that I have never written a first-person story in a male POV. So… all that being said, I had my work cut out for me. I hope this ends up becoming an enjoyable read for the diehard Jelsa fans!
I also want to credit a song called Mado Kada Mieru by Christopher Tin. I first heard this song while trying to decide how to begin this fic, and since then it has helped me overcome two separate writer's blocks in this story alone. Fellow writers might understand why that's such a huge feat. I can't wait to see what other inspiration this can breathe into me! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to either fandom.
Ze Birthday Challenge
Fandom - Frozen/Rise of the Guardians
Word Count: 4K to 11K (no exceptions!)
Characters/Pairing: Jack Frost/Elsa
Topic: Forests- (also referred to as a wood or the woods) are communities of living organisms characterized by the presence of trees that have symbiotic relationships with each other and the physical environment.
Prompt: In analytical psychology, the forest represents feminity in the eye of a young man, an unexplored realm full of the unknown. It stands for the unconscious and its mysteries. Write this in Jack first person POV.
Happy Birthday, my lovely, wonderful, beautiful aclockworKat!
The perplexed looks I received from the children of Arendelle might have been a bit alienating to others, but I couldn't help but find them amusing. Playing off of their wide eyes and parted lips, I intentionally strutted through the streets with an even larger bounce in my step and a large grin stretched across my face. It made my cheeks hurt, but it was far too entertaining to watch as nearly every kid- even a few adults- stopped what they were doing and watched me saunter past them.
I figured that the most likely reason I had charmed them was because I was barefoot, despite the fact that snowflakes had long-since coated the ground. Every time I caught their gazes staring at my boot-less feet strolling along, I made a point to flex my toes in the cold, white powder. This seemed to confirm my identity, and as the truth dawned on them, their wide eyes crinkled in mirth and smiles began to slowly form on their faces. Apparently the old stories about the last time I was here were still being passed down, even after all the decades that had passed by.
This was one of my favorite places to explore. The northern part of this land was always more exciting, and aside from a few months in the summer, snow continually rested on the ground. I hadn't been in this particular area for half a century or so, but I remembered some of the buildings. A lot of them were new since my last visit, which was nice. It meant the city was thriving. The people seemed to appreciate the cold weather more than those who lived further south, at least, and for some reason, more of them were able to see me up here. That in itself was worth the long travel up here, and I continued to grin and wave at those who had stopped in their tracks.
I continued along until I reached the edge of the small watery strait that separated the inner city from the castle. Across that channel were the outer gates that wrapped around the royal castle. I remembered the tall, stone walls were challenging to climb, and therefore all the more fun, so with a grin, I willed a bit of energy to my fingertips. I felt the smooth sensation pool into a small well beneath my palms, and once it gathered fully enough, I thrust my wrists toward the ground and spread my fingers wide. The feeling of a cool wind collecting at my fingertips made my skin tingle in anticipation and I willed myself into the air. At first, I soared straight up, and a refreshingly cold blast smacked against my face. I almost lost myself to the invigorating feeling, but instead willed myself to focus. In no time, I found myself darting through the air and landing atop one of the outer castle walls on the other side of the frigid water.
As I danced along the walls, I gazed along the castle grounds at the few people that were out. A stable boy walking the horses. A maid drawing buckets of water from a well. A guard standing along the steps that led up to the inner castle doors. A girl…
There was a girl in the higher window of the castle who was staring at me with sapphire eyes that glowed in unrestrained glee. Her pale hair was drawn back into a braid that fell into a ponytail along her left shoulder, and her small hands were pressed against the glass window she was leaning upon. At her fingertips along the glass there was a web of icicles that spread along in all directions.
I couldn't tear my eyes away. It was one thing for her to see me, but why was there ice forming along the window? She didn't wear the same mixture of curiosity and excitement that was draped on the others' expressions. Instead, the girl's expression was that of awe and enthrallment. Like she had been waiting her whole life to see someone like me.
Before I knew what I was doing, my hands and staff were moving, and along with the motions, I felt small prickles of cool air at my fingertips. I was drawing the snowflakes around me into a more solid form. With a smile pressed against my lips, I formed the letters of my name with the snow that floated across the air. It was effortless- I'd done this more times in the lonely woods than I could count. The letters appeared of their own accord, and I was helplessly entranced by the girl as her eyes widened all the more and she flattened herself against the barrier between us. Her lips moved, forming what I recognized as my name. Jack.
I grinned at her and with a sudden burst of exhilaration, I willed a gust of wind to form at my feet. The feeling of a cool breeze enveloped my ankles and toes and I was suddenly being propelled forward, the wind drawing me to a stop right before her window.
She was all the more adorable up close. The girl couldn't have been older than six years old, but her entrancing eyes hinted at an older sense of maturity. Her hair was almost the color of the snow that rested on the ground several stories below me, and it was pulled back into a sophisticated braid behind a blue headband. She wore a thick nightgown that might have reached her toes, but I couldn't tell from my angle. Her excitement was uncontainable, and she even bounced up and down a few times.
Then, her features suddenly scrunched into a look of fierce determination. Seconds later, the window pane underneath her hand was covered in a sheet of ice, blocking her entirely from sight. There was no way she could have done that…
…Right?
I couldn't see her expression through the thick ice, but slowly, and almost gracefully, letters began forming themselves through the frozen layer.
Elsa.
I felt a laugh bubbling at my lips, and before I could help myself, it floated out into the world, loud and clear. She had powers like me?!
A guard had caught onto my location, and he began running toward me, shouting angrily about not disturbing the royals. Right… no princess would have powers like this girl.
His comrades seemed confused by all of it, and they began laughing at him for shouting at what to them looked like nothing more than a frosted window. I waved at the guard enthusiastically, appreciating that even in his adulthood, he still believed in me.
Smirking, I gathered a mound of frigid snow between my fingers and tossed it at the guards laughing behind him. "Take that!" I shouted at them, although I knew they wouldn't be able to hear me.
The guard who had seen me stopped in his tracks, a look of astonishment gracing his features. He quickly covered his laughter once he realized I was no threat, and as if to prove him right, I spun on my heel in mid-air, twisting around merrily as I pelted more snowballs at the other guards. They of course had no idea what was happening, and they glowered all around themselves, running to the gates to see if any youth had decided to prank them.
Laughing, I turned back to the young girl in the window. Slowly, the thick sheet of ice was beginning to melt away from the top corner, and I was able to gaze at her once again. She was grinning at me, and I could just barely hear her tinkling laughter through the glass. I beamed at her, and with a shot of air toward the window, I etched a message onto the smooth glass. Roof?
Her eyes twinkled in glee, and I heard a muffled squeal as she spun on her heel, running for what looked like a secret door hidden along her bedroom wall. I watched as she pressed her small palm against a certain spot against the wall, and the wooden panels were drawn back to reveal a passageway. Taking one last glance at me, she giggled and ran through the newly opened door.
So she was going to meet me? Laughing happily, I propelled myself high into the sky, dancing on my way back down toward the high parapet closest to her room. Knowing that it would only be moments until she burst through the wooden door across the rooftop, I quickly set to work.
I finished just in time before the door slid open, and she cautiously bounded out on the snow-covered roof. I watched as her eyes drew in all the newly-formed ice sculptures all around her. She reached out delicately to an icy girl who was nearly her height, and as she caught the figure's hand in her own, she smiled softly to herself before she began dancing around it as if it were a real ballroom partner.
Merrily stepping over to the next figure, she giggled before bowing to the simplistic balls of snow that were stacked atop each other. "Nice to meet you, Olaf", she giggled, curtsying to the frozen figure and dancing around him happily.
Her voice was unlike anything I'd ever heard before, and I knew at that moment that I'd never tire of the pure, flowing tone or the peals of laughter that floated from her lips.
Finally, after dancing around a few more icy figures, she came face to face with me, and she paused briefly as she drank in my sight. A laugh spluttered between her lips, and she hastily covered her mouth with both hands once she realized that I was not an icy figure like the rest sprawled across her rooftop. Her eyes betrayed a sense of formality- almost like she knew she should have made more of an effort to remain proper and well-behaved.
"Hi," I heard myself saying, and I waved at her enthusiastically. "I'm Jack."
"Pleased to meet you, Jack," she giggled, her voice tinkling like freshly fallen snowflakes. "I'm Elsa."
So I hadn't been imagining what she'd displayed for me earlier! "Did you freeze your bedroom window earlier, Elsa?"
"Yes!" She gushed, barely able to contain her excitement. "Look!" She took a step back, and with her hands she formed miniature circles as a look of great concentration consumed her expression. "I can do this!" she exclaimed, as a small whirl of cool wind formed between her fingers. Her motion drew up some of the snowflakes that were at her feet, making the small spiral visible. It disappeared quickly enough, and she seemed upset for just a moment, but when her eyes met mine, they began gleaming again. "You can do it better, can't you?"
I laughed at her jealous gaze and slowly stepped closer to her. "Do you want me to teach you?"
"You would do that?" she squealed, her eyes lighting up like sparkling diamonds.
What kind of question was that?! How could I refuse sharing my gift with this girl? Not only could she see me, but she was willing to talk to me, and she had run all the way up here to do so! I would have created the most elaborate snow sculptures of my life, just because she was so eager for my company. The fact that she actually had powers like me was completely unheard of, and I knew at that moment that we'd be great friends.
"Sure," I replied, feeling the giddiness within myself rising like a wave. It was one thing to have a snowball fight, but another thing entirely to have the opportunity to teach someone with similar powers how to use them. I closed the distance between us and knelt down so that we were eye-level. "Hold out your hand like this," I instructed, demonstrating by holding my palm flat. She eagerly complied, paying close attention. "Alright," I said, drawing a deep breath and willing snowflakes to gather along my palm. "Now all you have to do is focus on each of the snowflakes around you. The more snowflakes you can focus on at a time, the more power you will have," I explained. "It's one thing to command a glob of snow, but to do something meaningful with it, you have to pay attention to each speck that you want to control."
This seemed to momentarily upset the girl, but she grasped the words quickly enough and nodded her head determinedly. "I understand."
I bit back a grin, afraid to discourage her by allowing her to see how thrilled I was. This was the first time I'd ever met anyone like me, and I felt like I could fly over the moon, I was so happy.
Reaching out, I cupped her hands in mine, willing my power through her little fingertips. "Do you feel the energy?" I asked her. She nodded silently, taken aback by the cool tingles that were surely spreading across her skin. "That's how I do it. I concentrate on each snowflake around me and if I want it hard enough, I can draw them closer to me." Watching her face, I whispered, "Are you ready?" She nodded, and instantly, a swarm of flurries danced around her and collected into a snowball in her palm.
There was a collection of footfalls, and I knew I only had a few seconds. "The guards will be here any second," I told her. "Do you want to throw it at them?"
Elsa was still afraid of retracting her hands, but she turned her head away from me, and I watched as her cheeks darkened in hilarity and she bit her lip, "I can't do that," she said.
Just then, the door at the far edge of the rooftop burst open, and three guards poured out onto the wide roof. "Your Highness," they exclaimed. "You shouldn't be out here. It's terribly cold. Please, come back inside."
Your Highness?
I tried to recall the family line, but quickly realized that even if I could remember the royal family of the Arendelle I once knew, I'd never have been able to distinguish the current royalty.
None of the guards looked my way, and I knew they couldn't see me. "You're a princess?" I asked her, just to be sure.
Her entire demeanor changed as the guards looked upon the ice sculptures that danced along the rooftop. With one look behind herself, she cast me a small smile. Her lips formed a single word. A name. Elsa.
Not Princess Elsa. Just plain Elsa.
Well, if that's what she wanted me to call her, then by all means, I'd treat her just like any other normal kid who could control the ice-cold elements!
She stifled a laugh once she caught sight of me leaping onto the parapet and her eyes gleamed as I danced ridiculously along the edge of the waist-high wall. With a final backward glance, she allowed herself to be ushered back down into the warmth of the castle by the unknowing guards.
I grinned as the door closed behind them, and felt myself flying backwards in excitement. She really did have a gift! She really did have powers like me! She just needed help learning how to interact with the cold water around her, and I swore at that moment that I would teach her everything I knew. Within a year, she'd be as strong as I was!
I felt a laugh bubble to my lips, and I soared over the castle courtyard, thrilled with my new friend.
Elsa, the Ice Princess.
Every day for the following two weeks, she snuck away and met me on the rooftop, where I taught her how to draw up all of her energy and focus it properly. We began by focusing only on the snowflakes at her feet, and once she'd gotten used to manipulating that much, we moved our meetings to the tree-lined courtyards along the far edge of the castle walls. There, we had much more snow to work with, and within three weeks of meeting her, she was able to form figures entirely on her own. Mountains. Trees. Buildings. Even the crude outlines of people.
We talked only about our powers at first. It wasn't until the sixth day that she began to divert our conversations to anything more personal, and that's when she told me about the family she loved so much. Her loving parents cared deeply for her, and her younger sister was always cheerful and played with Elsa all day long. Sometimes even after the sun went down. I told her that I'd travelled very far, and that I'd seen more kingdoms than I could count. I'd seen all the mountains and oceans and rivers and forests that she'd dreamed of visiting one day, and her eyes were wide with wonder as I told her all about them.
We were thrilled with every moment we spent together, and even hours after she left, her giggling still echoed through my entire being. I stayed in the forest near the castle at night, having snowball fights with the kids that lived in a small village there, but I couldn't stop thinking about my friend.
My true friend.
My best friend.
My only friend.
I couldn't erase her twinkling, sapphire eyes from my thoughts, and every time I closed my eyes, I envisioned her unrestrained grin stretched across her pale face. I couldn't wipe the image of her thick braid bouncing along her shoulders as she jumped around excitedly, and I couldn't ever forget the way her eyes glowed every time she drew up a large clump of snow and she began working it into the shapes she was envisioning.
Pretty soon, we were having snow battles in which we tried to outdo each other in ice castle-building. I often threw up an icy wall to block her view of the figures I was creating, trying to challenge her to use her imagination to create her own original sculptures, but soon enough when I tore down my walls, I'd find myself staring at ice walls of her own. As if she had been afraid of me copying off of her!
And within a month, we found ourselves having more draws than actual victories. Of course, we were the only two people judging each other's work, but more often than not, we'd easily been able to reach a consensus about whose work was better. And after a week of that, it simply was a toss-up and we'd bicker playfully about who the true champion should be until it was time for her to go back inside.
Our talks became deeper. More personal. She told me that she was secretly afraid of taking the throne. She said that she dreamed of Arendelle blooming into a large, welcoming society. And the thing that caught me most off guard was when she told me that her favorite moments were when her sister asked her to use her powers with her. Elsa said she was happiest then because not only could she make her sister laugh, but she was also thinking of me as she pushed herself to create better ice sculptures for her younger sister.
The notion made my chest swell so much that it almost hurt, and I felt myself smiling stupidly. She was really thinking of me when we were apart, too? It was so unheard of for me, especially after spending more years than I cared to count just trying to find people who saw me. It had made me happy when someone was able to look me in the eye… but now this princess was telling me that she enjoyed my company and she thought of me when I wasn't even around?!
I couldn't have asked for anything more. No desire was greater than that of wanting to feel like someone cared about me, and with Elsa I felt like the happiest kid in the world.
Of course, I forgot about my loneliness. I had begun to believe that I had only imagined ever feeling alone, but three months after I had met Elsa, I was reminded once again what it felt like to have the ground disappear underneath my feet.
I had flown over to our new meeting spot atop the western rooftop and waited much longer than I normally did. Still there was no sign of Elsa showing up, so I willed a gust of wind to carry me over to our previous spot. Maybe she'd forgotten where we had agreed to meet?
But she wasn't there either, and she had never been this late before. I felt my facial features contort in concern as I drifted over to her bedroom window. The frown dimmed away instantly once I saw her, and I knocked on the glass expectantly. She had probably just forgotten what time it was.
Yet, as she turned around to meet my relieved gaze, I realized that the smile that had always graced her lips had been replaced with bitterness and tears.
I felt my chest ache and splutter uncomfortably. Why was she crying? I'd known her for months and I'd never seen anything but happiness and determination flit across her eyes. What could have possibly upset my best friend to the point of making her cry?!
"Elsa!" I heard myself calling, and felt my bones ache as she turned her back to me and cowered in on herself. "Elsa!" I said again, banging on her window. "Tell me what's wrong!"
"Go away!"
The voice had been muffled through the glass, but it was definitely hers. I would recognize the voice anywhere. The crack in her tone matched the agony in her eyes, and I tried desperately to jostle the window latch open. No, I wouldn't go away! Not when she was so upset. She needed me. She needed a friend to cheer her up and make her smile.
Upon hearing the window panes shaking from my attempt to open them, Elsa launched herself to her feet and stormed over. In one swift sweep of her hand, she covered the entire window with a sheet of ice so thick that the only thing I could see through it was the slight darkening of her room.
She had drawn the curtains closed on me.
"ELSA!" I shouted, banging more forcefully on the window. "I'm not leaving you! Tell me what happened!"
Silence was my only response, but I imagined that I heard faint crying from beyond the curtains.
No. I was not going to give up on my friend. Never. Not Elsa.
With a surge of fierce determination, I boosted myself up to the roof and barged through the door. Ignoring the splintering crash, I raced down the stairs and ran through several hallways before I reached the one that led to her. Throwing the door open, I found her sitting on the plush rug beside her bed. Choking sobs pierced the thick silence that otherwise stifled the cold air, and without wasting a second, I ran and skid along the ground to her side. "Hey, it's alright," I assured her, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
Her eyes shot open and she scurried back from me as terrible animosity stretched across her face. "Stay away!" she shouted at me.
Shocked, I recoiled slightly, but my eyes narrowed at her in disbelief. "Why would I stay away from you? I just want to make you happy, Elsa-"
"You can't anymore, okay?! Just go!"
"No!" I shouted back, feeling icy terror ripple through my veins. "I'm not leaving you! You're my only friend; why would I ever leave? Tell me what's wrong! I just want to help you!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she shrieked. The sound was unlike anything I'd ever heard come from her lips, and it pierced my eardrums and slapped shackles around my chest. Suddenly, it felt like it was impossible to breathe. Impossible to think. Impossible to comprehend the words.
"Please," I begged hoarsely, unable to imagine my life without her friendship. "Please don't send me away, Elsa. I'll do anything-"
"Just GO!" Endless tears streamed down her cheeks, and she sobbed wretchedly, unable to catch her breath. "GO!"
Footfalls echoed from down the hall, and seconds later, the doorway I had just burst through was filled with half a dozen guards. None of them could see me, and a few of them raced right past me to scour the room for intruders. They began speaking, but their words didn't matter.
Feeling a crippling numbness drift through my muscles, I stumbled out of the room, only to fall into a heap along the wall between her door and the exit. The normally comforting ice that soared along my fingertips now sunk in and closed unrelenting frigid fingers around my lungs, making it hard to breathe and to think straight. I felt my bones aching and raw screams repeatedly being ripped from my throat.
She wouldn't turn her back on me… would she? My best friend would never do that!
And yet, I could still hear her sobbing from the room behind me, and I knew that I hadn't imagined her hateful command for me to leave her.
I don't know how long I stayed there, crumpled in on myself in the middle of some castle hallway, but by the time I opened my crusted eyes, it was dark. Willing energy to my fingertips, I weakly managed to shove myself from the ground. It took a few hazy moments before I could regain my focus, but I finally stumbled forward and dragged myself through the halls and to the stairs that led outside to the roof.
She was just having a bad day. Something terrible had happened and Elsa was upset, but she'd never end our friendship over it. Never. It was silly to think that three months could be unwound in a single day, right?
That bit of comfort shook enough of the pain from my chest and in the end, I was able to gather the willpower to fly from the rooftop to the forest I had been staying in. Finding a random tree, I felt my back curve and my arms curling up to wrap around my knees, as if I were absently protecting myself.
She would never end our friendship…
She knew I'd never survive it. She knew that she was the only one I cared about. She'd never cast me out into the world on my own.
I woke the following morning and immediately went over to the castle, our normal meeting time be damned.
The sight that met my eyes was almost as painful as the night before. The curtains were still drawn shut… something I'd never seen until the previous evening. Ever since we'd met, she'd always left the curtains open. Just in case.
Okay, well maybe she just forgot, right? Maybe she fell asleep crying and she just hadn't woken yet. That had to be the reason, and not because she wanted me out of her life.
Determined, I knocked on the window, hoping to capture her attention. I heard a sharp inhalation of breath, but I wasn't sure if it wasn't just my imagination. "Elsa? Please open the curtains," I told her kindly. She'd likely only hear my muffled voice, but since no one else showed up at her heightened window, she'd have to know it was me. "I just want to talk," I assured her. "Please tell me what happened. I want to help you."
My words elicited a wet sob that was almost immediately stifled. I knew I hadn't imagined that. It sounded exactly as if she had cried out and quickly covered her mouth with her sleeve or a blanket.
I knew that I had heard correctly that time, so without wasting a moment, I flew over to the rooftop door again, fully intent on going inside to confront her. She had begun to trust me! She was beginning to tell me her dreams and fears and desires and aspirations! I had done nothing to make her doubt me, and I had done nothing to get her in trouble with the guards or with her parents. I knew that whatever was happening wasn't my fault, and with that notion firmly out of the way, I knew that I'd be able to help her. All I wanted was to see her smile, and I'd do anything for that!
I settled myself on the rooftop and made to barge through the door, just as I had done the night before, but this time the door refused to budge. I rammed my shoulder into it again, but the wood remained firmly in place. Drawing back, I eyed the doorframe carefully, only then noticing that nails had been pounded through the wood from the inside. The metal ends of the nails were gleaming through various sections of the frame, as if more than one restricting beam had been slammed into place there.
I recoiled slightly. Elsa wouldn't want this, would she? She wouldn't want them to bar her away from me, right? There had to be some kind of mistake! I'd never sensed that the guards would act against her will, but if that was what had happened, I'd have to rescue her!
I found myself again at her window, and before I fully realized what was happening, I found my fist soaring repeatedly against the glass. This time, it was reinforced with ice, though, and it refused to give way underneath my hammering. "Elsa!" I kept shouting. "Tell me what happened! Tell me what I can do to help you!"
Complete silence met me, even after an hour of hoarse begging. I knew she was still there because every time a bit of ice chipped away from the windowpane, it was instantly replaced with a fresh coat. She was in the room. She was in the room listening to my pleading, and she still refused to even explain why she had decided to hate me so suddenly.
Feeling broken a hundred times over, I let my fist finally fall to my side, and I rested my head against the frigid glass. Every muscle tensed and pulled and ached with dozen scalding fires, and I felt my energy draining, leaving me feeling empty and horribly painful. "Please, Elsa." Wetness pooled at the corners of my eyes as reality began to truly sink in. "Please don't send me away. I don't want to live without you. I'll do anything, I promise."
I waited for more agonizing moments than I could handle, and when silence was still the only response she offered me, I pulled away from the window. Before I could give myself time for doubt, I gathered a tidal wave of energy at my fingertips and thrust my staff toward the ground. Within a blink, I was soaring high into the air and before I knew what was happening, I found myself so far away that I couldn't see anything around me aside from snow-capped trees and mountains.
Finally feeling the exhaustion and emptiness wrap firmly around me, I let myself fall to the ground, uncaring of the scratches from tree branches I received along the way. There, I huddled into a tight ball and squeezed my eyes shut, silently pleading for the anguish of rejection to end. It was one thing to be ignored by people who couldn't see me, but to be rejected by someone who had not only shared my powers, but also been my friend… that was more than I could handle.
Surely nothing else could have been half as painful...
Years passed.
I travelled east, to lands so far away that they spoke languages I'd never heard in my long years of life. I explored countless foreign cities and cultures and tried to meet new people. The winters were shorter there, and no more than a few people ever saw me.
The west was barely any better. I wandered the strange continent for years, but no one did anything more than glimpse at me and smile ruefully. Even the children strolled passed me without much more than a light wave. Eye contact was all but nonexistent. No one spoke with me, despite my earnest attempts to initiate conversations.
The south was almost less painful. Sure, it was unbearably hot and made my skin feel like it was going to sizzle right off of my bones, but at least I didn't have to face as much direct rejection. The terrible heat in the deserts and dry regions kept me from envisioning cool sapphire. At least I could focus on something real and tangible in the south. Something that hadn't turned its back on me.
I wasn't sure how many years trickled by, but I once again found myself along the edges of bustling civilization of the milder climates and what they deemed to be the harsh wilds of the north. I hesitated for weeks in the massive forests that separated the colder lands from those a bit south. Weeks turned into months, and for all that time I wandered around the massive tree trunks and determined foliage that still managed to cling onto their branches. The slowing of wildlife activity in itself was a sign that winter was not far away, had my skin not already been tingling in anticipation.
In the past, any whispers of winter or snow or ice excited me enough to turn me into a giddy kid. Knowing that I could play more freely and feel more in control of the elements around me was always heartening, but I hadn't realized until that moment that I hadn't felt that happiness in many years. Not since she shoved me out of her life without so much as an explanation or even a parting glance.
Snow-coated forests such as that one were the most comfort to me. They provided silence and solitude and if the air was cold enough, I could imagine what it once felt like to smile. There, I spread out with my back on the cold ground with my arms and legs spread wide as I gazed up into the canopy.
Hearing the crisp leaves whispering against each other in light breezes and watching the sunlight filter through the upper canopy always managed to ease the painful throbs of loneliness that raced erratically across my chest. It was as if the forest had promised me the soft caresses that no one else could provide, and that made it less heart-wrenching when my thoughts wandered and I stared up at the emerald canopy above me.
My eyes focused on the latticework of leaves and branches, but I felt my mind slipping away to a different time when a young giggle tickled my ears and when the act of drawing energy into my palms was accompanied by little hands tucked protectively between mine. My mind drifted, and I was flooded with the dozens of afternoons I'd met her on the castle grounds. To the jokes we shared, and to our petulant quarrels over whose sculpture was better. To those playful arguments we used to share when she would adamantly debate about who could freeze water more quickly or whose fingertips were colder.
It felt as if the trees themselves were sympathetic to my pained memories, and with each passing day, the harsh, biting winds that swept between the trunks numbed me a little less. The wildlife had all but hidden themselves away from the world, unable to bear the harsh winter that was rapidly approaching. Very few creatures could be seen and aside from them, the winds, and the soft sound of fresh snowflakes colliding with the knee-high snow, the world was otherwise silent.
I had, however, spotted two pale white foxes wander past me at some point, and the sight of them both startled me and breathed a warmth within my chest. The foxes were small, but they were stubborn things, and somehow they'd learned to survive when most other wildlife had either left or tucked themselves away underground or in thick trees.
Seeing them brought my attention to what else could be living around me, and soon enough I realized that while they were quiet and stayed way up in the canopies, a few birds had stayed behind. I wasn't sure if they were supposed to still be here or if they'd somehow forgotten to migrate south, but there they were, perched and cawing softly to one another.
There was only one other animal that still wandered the otherwise barren world, and every time I heard the lower branches quiver in their wake, I found myself bolting upright and looking around excitedly. The pine needles would always quiver more and more until giant antlers would poke through them. Reindeer were large beasts, but they were cautious and their movements fascinated me. Their dark eyes always peered around carefully and they blinked slowly as they took in the world around themselves.
It wasn't until the third or fourth time that I realized a strange tugging at my cheeks. It was something I hadn't felt in years… longer than I could remember… and I had to physically touch my cheek to comprehend what was so bizarre.
A smile.
That knowledge shocked me, and I thought for several hours about whyspotting reindeer would be the thing to make me smile after feeling miserable for so long. And in a wild, certain snap of truth, I suddenly understood.
Reindeer and small white foxes were still alive. When the rest of the creatures of the world had folded in on themselves or given up and travelled elsewhere, these animals were sturdy and stubborn enough to keep moving and living. They were still up and about when the world had turned its back on them, and I knew that deep down, I felt a solid, unwavering connection with them. If they were so persevering, why couldn't I be? Why shouldn't I be?
It was at that moment I realized how stupid I had been. Yes, I'd been severely hurt by the young princess, but why should that have stopped me from living? I wasn't made to mope around like a depressed turtle; I was meant to make people smile and laugh. That was a solid fact. As certain as the snow that lingered stubbornly on the ground beneath me. I shouldn't waste my strangely long life mourning the loss of one friend when I had the ability to make more.
I felt a laugh bubble at my lips at the realization, and I leapt to my feet and danced around the alarmed reindeer.
I was sick of being so miserable. It wasn't me, and I wasn't about to let an incident from however many years ago continue to devastate me. Yes, she was my best and only friend since I had been reborn as whatever I was now, but how long should I continue to mourn the loss for? I was still alive, and that didn't have to mean that I'd continue to stay down for the rest of my existence. I knew I was meant for more than that, and nothing now was going to stop me from spreading the mirth that I once did.
And so I picked myself up and headed through the forest, directly to the north. I stopped at the first bit of civilization I found, and the moment I saw the very first kid running gleefully between the houses, I drew up the perfect snowball and hurled it at his face. His shocked expression was priceless, and I felt laughter course through me as he looked around in a daze. Of course he didn't see me, but he did spot the next snowball that I sent flying at his closest friend.
That kid stopped as well, searching all around because he apparently didn't believe the first kid had such a good arm. "OVER HERE!" I shouted, and laughed as I pelted more snowballs at them and the three other kids who tumbled from the alleys.
My actions caused a full-blown snow war, and I couldn't help but laugh at the determination etched across their relentless features. The kids had set up battle zones, complete with barricades of chairs and baskets and sleds, and they carefully plotted which moves would be most beneficial to their team.
Laughing, I gathered a few dozen snowballs, and hurtled them all at the same time toward the unsuspecting children. All of them fell backward with the force, but they immediately bolted upright and stared right in my direction. The five of them tried to figure out where the stray ammunition had come from, and one of them finally pointed right at me. "THERE!" he shouted, and quickly gathered a snowball, packed it tightly, and threw it at me. The snow hit my shoulder, and the stray pieces of it fluttered to the ground below me.
By the time I looked back up, each of their gazes were locked on me, rather than in my general direction, and they dropped their sticks and shields as they stepped out into no-man's-land. The snowball war had been entirely forgotten as they moved closer to me. The first kid I'd pelted spoke up, mesmerized as much I was by them. "Who are you?" he asked.
"Jack," I told them, and they heard me!
My voice served as a confirmation for them, and they laughed as they jumped around emphatically. "Jack's on our team!" the group of two shouted. "We have less people, so it's only fair!"
"No way!" the outnumbering group argued. "He's with us!"
It took me several moments to understand their bickering only because I'd been ignored for so long, and once I did, I grinned. "Why, gentlemen," I said, and they all immediately looked up to me. "I think I'm more than capable of taking you all on at once."
My claim caused them to all exchange significant glances, and before I fully knew what was happening, they were all charging me. I flew backward, and I drew snowball after snowball into my palm and thrust them at the laughing faces of my attackers.
We continued until they were all out of breath and their parents began calling each of them inside for the evening. They all groaned dejectedly, but made me promise to have another fight with them the following day. I was shocked, but in my speechlessness, I agreed and they scurried off inside their homes happily.
I was in a daze for several hours afterward. Had I just managed to not only goof off with people, but also make them believe in me? Was it really possible for this to happen in the span of less than an hour?!
Laughing and feeling more determined than I had felt in a long time, I propelled myself into the sky and scanned the forest for any surrounding villages. I flew to the nearest one in the forest nearby, I waited patiently for the next day when the kids would funnel outside and give me the opportunity to test my newly-found skills on them, as well.
I spent the following three months flitting from village to village, waiting to spot the youth there and then pelting them with snowballs. I learned that if I willed my energy to form a certain way, my victims would be assaulted by a fit of otherwise unexplainable laughter that would carry on for several minutes. This became the backup weapon in my arsenal, though I never hesitated to use it when I ran into particularly stubborn kids.
Within a few months, I had made nearly three hundred kids believe in me, and as I made my rounds to pick fights with those I'd already visited, they bounced up and down, thrilled that I had returned to them. It was fantastic, and before I fully realized what I was doing, I'd fallen into a rhythm of visiting all of my new friends and ensuring that they were all happy and getting along with each other as I left for the next village.
People saw me. People laughed with me. Kids threw snowballs at me and glowered at me as I ducked and sent clumps of snow flying right back at them. They squealed and shrieked as they were assaulted by dozens of stray snowballs, but they always shoved themselves off the ground quickly enough and retaliated to the best of their abilities. It was wonderful to witness, and I felt myself laughing more in those months than I had in what felt like decades. Everything was perfect, and I felt happier than I'd felt in forever.
Then one day as I was having a particularly brutal war against half the Lake Village kids, the sound of fast-paced horse hooves broke us from our battle stations, and we all floated out to greet the newcomers. Well… I floated out. My enemies and single ally in the form of a seven-year-old girl named Kari all walked along the ground, because that was all they could do as humans. I remained hovering slightly off the ground, since it was the most comfortable position for me, and we all watched as the horses pulled to a stop.
"By order of Her Majesty of Arendelle, make way!" the foremost of the heavily-coated and armored soldiers commanded. The kids stepped aside, most of them scurrying to their parents' sides, who had also gathered along the edge of the village. I stayed where I was, however, knowing well that I posed no hindrance to them. I was more curious than anything, and I wanted to know why royalty would possibly venture so far away from the comforts of their warm, cozy castle.
"Thank you, Linus," a soft, feminine voice floated out from the fully-cloaked individual who was perched atop a pure-white mare behind the line of guards. "I will take it from here."
"Majesty-" Linus exclaimed as he turned around. She lifted her head, however, and sapphire peered out from underneath the thick cowl to meet his gaze. "O-of course," he stammered.
"Please wait for me along the far edge of the clearing," the woman ordered firmly, and made no further motions until the guards had retreated past her and to the tree line where she had indicated. Keeping her face covered with the hood of her cloak, this majesty… this queen rode out to the opposite edge of the clearing and ignored the movement of her guards as she urged her mare through the tree line and deeper into the woods.
Baffled, I followed her, and she stopped once she was out of earshot of the villagers and the guards. There, she climbed off her horse gracefully, and as she planted her feet on the ground, she stretched briefly, carefully keeping her back turned to me, before lowered her encompassing hood.
I felt myself staring shamelessly as a head emerged from underneath the thick material. I was entranced, even though I could only see her light hair was drawn back into an elegantly braided bun that rested against the base of her neck. As she turned, the dark cloak parted slightly to reveal a teal dress and black sleeves that protected the length of her arms. My eyes rose from her elegant dress up to a face that suddenly made me doubt that she was truly concerned about sparing herself from the frigid temperature.
The smooth, pale face was so achingly familiar to me that I couldn't decide if I should have been angry or if I wanted to throw my arms around her. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect… and she left me feeling panicked. I distantly realized that my palms were getting itchy and my throat had completely gone dry.
It shouldn't have surprised me that such a cute kid could have grown into a stunning woman, but why would I have ever thought anything like that? She'd always been a kid in my eyes. A spectacularly talented, wonderful child. I'd never even considered her growing up in the time that had crept by. But years had passed, hadn't they? I had no idea how many years, but at least five or six winters had come and gone since I'd last seen her. To be honest, I hadn't been counting. But never had I imagined that she would grow.
I had no idea I was even near her kingdom, for that matter. I really had no idea where I was, other than knowing that there was nothing but cold forests and mountains for days in any direction. I'd known that there was a castle off in the distance somewhere, but I'd never been able to bring myself to check which kingdom it belonged to, or even if it was inhabited by royals. To be honest, I hadn't even cared. How could I have known that this whole time I was actually in Arendelle?
She was queen now, wasn't she? The gleaming crown on her head hinted at her new title. Maybe I should have bowed, but I still couldn't make my limbs cooperate.
My breath died as too familiar sapphire irises finally met mine. I couldn't breathe or think or move or do anything as that pure, encompassing blue that had haunted my thoughts met my eyes. She may have grown, but her eyes were still the exact same breathtaking color that I'd always remembered. To look into them again was like a dream, and I had no idea how to rip myself away.
I had no idea if I'd even wanted to look away. How could I?
"You need to stop tormenting the merchants, Mr. Frost."
The words shook me from my stupor like a polar bear shaking water from his fur. Her tone was so formal, her shoulder set back primly, and her gloved hands were clasped properly in front of herself. Even her expression was older… more mature. Queenly.
"Who are you calling Mr. Frost?" I found myself saying, and I was only slightly surprised by the bitterness in my voice. I'd almost completely freed myself from her spell, and I felt heat pooling where she'd left me immobile.
Elsa blinked at me but quickly recovered. "You. That's your name, is it not?"
"Of course not. No one has ever called me that," I told her. I felt my face contorting in revulsion. That made me sound old. What kid would want to play with Mr. Frost? None! And the name sounded absurd! "My name is Jack. And who told you I'm tormenting merchants?"
"The merchants themselves. They say they've been attacked repeatedly by mysterious snowballs that not only appear out of nowhere, but also make them start laughing uncontrollably."
"Laughing is now considered tormenting? Honestly?!" Some logical part of me knew I shouldn't have raised my voice to royalty, but I was too mad to care. That was the first thing she said to me after all that time? She hadn't even said hello before diving into her horrible accusation. Of course I was mad.
"How else are they supposed to take that? They giggle hysterically for several minutes, and once they're able to calm down, they have no idea what's happened. All they know is that they had just been pelted with snowballs that appeared out of nowhere. They fear possession. They think this kingdom is cursed and some of them have refused to come back."
"Well, maybe they shouldn't come back if they're that stupid! What did you tell them?"
"I assured them that I would look into it and promised that it would not happen again."
Her declaration made me pause, and I felt the air around me drop several degrees in my anger. "So let me get this straight. You knew they were talking about me, and you didn't think to just explain who I was?"
"And have them go around telling the neighboring lands that this kingdom is being ruled by a gullible and unstable queen? My sanity would be called into question and I could be dethroned. We could be invaded."
"Why would they think you're gullible when we have pretty much the same powers, Elsa?" She flinched at the sound of her name, and I stared at her in disbelief. No, I wouldn't call her by her title if she came all the way out here to tell me to stop having harmless fun. Mr. Frost wouldn't stop doing something that was never wrong in the first place. "You could have made a few snowballs yourself to prove you're not crazy."
Her eyes dropped to the snow beneath my hovering feet, and her hands clenched irritably. "No one knows that I have those abilities."
The weight of her words was so devastatingly heavy that I dropped the small distance to the ground. My knees quivered slightly because they were unaccustomed to actually standing, but I knew that the reason for my sudden nausea had nothing to do with my legs or awkwardly positioned feet. "You don't think they'd accept you for who you are." It was written all over her expression. Written all over the grim set of her lips and the way her eyes lowered. In the way her breathing had become more labored. "What happened to you? You were all confidence and determination and you loved it when I taught you new things. Why did you shove me out of your life and shut yourself away?"
The question ignited something within her, and the broken look I had caught a glimpse of was suddenly covered up with the queenly mask she'd been wearing earlier. "I'm not here to discuss that," she informed me. "I'm here to implore you not to pester the merchants anymore. Without them, many of the villages around here would starve or freeze because they're not all self-sustaining. For the sake of the kids who still believe in you, please consider your actions a bit more thoroughly."
"Or maybe you can stop lying to everyone and show them the wonderful things you can do. They couldn't possibly think you're evil for having the ability to manipulate ice, Elsa."
She looked as if she clamped down on the inside of her cheek, and she turned on her heel, clearly not interested in having the conversation with me. Her horse had wandered several paces away, and she trudged through the thick snow to try to reach the mare's reins.
"You're good at that, aren't you?" I said, allowing all the bitterness I felt to seep into my tone. It may have been childish of me to antagonize her, but I couldn't find the will to care how it sounded. Her steps faltered slightly, but she kept moving. "You're fantastic at turning your back on me and ignoring the things that truly matter. You just hide behind that horrible mask you wear and pretend that it's what's best."
"Thank you for taking the time to speak with me," she said regally over her shoulder. The words themselves were a very nice, very proper way to let me know that she was not going to let herself get sucked into an argument. That she was taking the high road. Most people probably would have even been fooled into thinking that she was unfazed, but I knew better. That barely audible catch in her throat said it all, even I hadn't noticed her trembling steps.
She didn't want to argue, but she also wasn't happy about her mask. Or maybe just the fact that I clearly saw right through it in less than three minutes.
Maybe both.
"Right," I ground out. "Now that you don't have curtains to throw in my face, you're actually gracing me with a courtly farewell. That's kind of you."
A few of the pristine flakes around her danced up slightly before falling back to rest atop the snow. The comment had almost sent her over the edge, and I was annoyingly impressed by how well she still held onto her composure.
I didn't want to keep pushing her. I didn't want to upset or anger her at all, but I knew that she hated hiding herself away. It was so evident in all of her rigid motions and her tone and the devastated look in her eyes. I had to help her… had to get through to her…
She was only a few steps from reaching her horse, and I knew I had to do something. Without fully considering it, I moved my hands and willed a form to emerge from the surrounding snow. The figure floated gracefully in front of her, but with her back still turned to me, I couldn't see her expression.
I took her pause as a good sign.
"How did you do this, Jack?" The words were a whisper, and I couldn't tell what emotion was coating her tone, but I suddenly didn't care. Not only had she stopped in her tracks, but she'd also said my name. Not whoever the hell Mr. Frost was… my actual name.
I had her. "I spent a lot of time learning how to make them move," I told her, stepping closer. "It was really hard at first, but it gets a bit easier each time I try."
"It's wonderful," she breathed, holding up a snowflake the size of her head. The snowflake itself was elegant and each of the eight points had been formed to match identically. But while that was a feat in itself, it was the center of that snowflake that had her so mesmerized. In the middle was an icy image of a window within castle wall, and in that window was a little girl jumping up and down enthusiastically. It was exactly as I had first seen the young princess. A memory that had remained one of my favorites, even after all the bitterness that followed it.
She finally began to turn to face me, and I quickly moved my hands accordingly. By the time her eyes lifted from the snowflake, I was surrounded by ice figurines of chubby penguins wadding around awkwardly. Her eyes widened, and I knew I wasn't imagining the humor sparling along her irises. The sight distracted me so fully that I almost lost my focus entirely. As it was, three ice penguins plopped face-first into the snow.
Elsa's hand rose to cover her lips, but a snort of amusement slipped out before she could stop it, and my eyes darted back to her expectantly. I saw it then… the glimmer of life that I hadn't seen since her childhood. That same gleaming spark of wonder that had enchanted me years ago. I thought I'd never see it again, and now that I had, I knew that it was possible to get through to her.
"You don't have to tell me what happened to that little girl who I was forced to abandon all those years ago," I told her quietly, and her eyes rose to meet mine. "Not now, at least; but I do want to know when you're ready to tell me. Right now is more important, Elsa, and if you would talk to me, I can figure out how to help you. You know that's all I ever wanted, right?"
"I know," she began, and I could hear the counterpoint rising to her lips, so I quickly cut her off.
"So trust me. Or better yet, trust yourself. Only you can make the decision to send me away again, so listen to yourself this time. You don't have to keep hiding behind that mask."
Her eyes peered into mine like waves crashing against a shore. Hesitation was written all over her features, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw that she was still delicately holding the large snowflake. The same snowflake that I'd forgotten all about from the second I saw that young glimmer in her eyes. Without my magic to hold the snowflake up, it should have fallen, so seeing it still hovering over her palm meant that she was the one preserving it.
That simple, and very likely unconscious, action spoke louder than anything else. Not only was she still capable of using her powers, but she also treasured the snowflake enough to keep it from fluttering back to the ground as snow powder.
She cherished the magic, and the fact that she was even hesitating in her response told me that she still valued the friendship that we once shared.
"Would… would you like to come with me back to the castle?" she finally asked. Her voice was low, but there was a new sense of certainty that hadn't been there before. "You could stay in the guest wing, if you'd like."
I wasn't sure what came first- either my thrilled laugh, or me suddenly flying over to her and closing the distance between us with a tight embrace. I was so relieved that I could have danced around for hours, and as I pulled away and looked into her eyes, I knew that she felt similarly. "I would be honored," I told her as regally as I could manage.
She saw the smile playing on my lips, though, and she rolled her eyes. The mask was beginning to chip away again, and beneath it I could see glimpses of youth and freedom. "You don't have to speak formally, you know? There's no sense in forcing yourself to be proper if you don't want to."
I grinned at her and then helped her onto her mare.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" she questioned after a few moments of silence. I was floating along beside her as we neared the tree line and the village beyond it. "You don't have to do this, Jack."
"Of course I want to do this," I argued. "You were my first friend, Elsa, and I told you that I'd never abandon you willingly. You're just going to be stuck with me from now on. Or at the very least until we sort everything out." I felt her gaze on me, so I looked over and met her eyes. "Don't worry. I have a plan."
"Oh?"
"Well, first, we're going to work on this mask of yours. Then we're going to work on telling people that you have powers… and we'll be sure to emphasize that they're not evil powers. You'll need to demonstrate, of course, but don't worry. I'll let you use my chubby penguins as inspiration. If they won you over, they'll win everyone else for sure."
"I really don't think it'll be that simple," she protested, though she wasn't even bothering to hide her smile. We were only a few dozen paces from the clearing, and I could see the crowd of villagers and soldiers waiting anxiously.
"It will be that simple as long as we follow my plan. That's the important part. And once Arendelle is all safe and happy, I have one more thing in mind." My voice was deliberately suggestive, and by the way her eyes narrowed at me, I knew that she had become wary. "It's actually something I've been wanting to do for a long time."
"What are you getting at, Jack Frost?" she asked suspiciously. She even slowed her mare considerably so that she was still kept hidden by the last of the stubborn branches. I read her expression easily enough; she was feeling cautious, and her next motions depended on what I would say next.
It took everything in me to bite back the smile that was threatening to spill onto my lips. I floated closer to her, ignoring the way she leaned back slightly. When I was close to her ear, I whispered, "I couldn't have dreamed of anyone more perfect for this, Elsa. Would you like to help me break into the North Pole?"
"JACK!" she spluttered, laughing and choking at the same time. "The North Pole? You can't be serious!"
"Of course I am!" I told her proudly as I pulled away. "I've been wanting to break in for as long as I can remember, but any time I get close, those huge yetis catch me." I felt the excitement bubbling in my veins, now, and I felt the grin stretch across my cheeks. "I could never manage it on my own, but together, we actually stand a chance! I can be the decoy while you run in! It's fool-proof!"
She laughed heartily, and when I was able to finally tear my eyes away, I realized that we'd made it out into the open and everyone was staring at us. Well… everyone was staring at her, while the kids and some of their parents saw me, too. "All is well," she assured them with a regal smile as she urged her horse closer. "Everything is perfect."
