Little Lies

Summary: AU. One-shot. Set somewhere between Sectionals and Hell-O. When a casual game exposes Rachel's dirty little secret, she had better prepare for the ride of her life because Noah Puckerman is not going to take this lying down. Mentions of F/R, but Puckleberry in the end.

Noah Puckerman was smug.

Actually, smug didn't even begin to describe how victorious he felt at the present moment. It was a Saturday night, and he could have been getting laid by some cougar or another.

But what does he choose to do? Be a total pansy and go to some frickin' glee party because Rachel frickin' Berry decided to ask him about it while she was wearing one of those damn low-cut dresses of hers (never mind that they're actually kind of modestly cut and she was wearing a cardigan… that's totally beside the point 'cause she's really short and he could see down anyway).

Of course the Puckster can't say no when he's got a hot Jew asking him to come out for the night. It would be like slapping God in the face or something like that.

The night had been completely boring—everything he would expect the rest of the losers in glee club to be doing. Neither Quinn nor Santana had shown up (unsurprisingly); however, Brittany had been sitting in the corner with Mike Chang for the last two hours looking strangely small without Santana by her side.

Finally, he had just about enough of song proposals for Regionals and the unending marathon game of "Who Can Hit the Highest Note?".

He used his devilish good looks and boyish charm (if he did say so himself) to convince the rest of the people at the party that they should break out the thirty rack he had in his truck.

Granted, it might not have been a great idea to drink at Rachel Berry's house under normal conditions… but with both of her dads gone on a mini-getaway vacation, this house was asking for Puck to rock its world.

He probably should have realized that no one in glee club drank.

About three beers in, most of the people at the party (except for himself, Matt, and Mike) were pretty much trashed.

It was then that this party took an even more juvenile turn towards Truth or Dare.

Normally, he would have split so fast that he couldn't even think of a good analogy for it… but Rachel looked damn hot tonight in one of her signature tiny plaid skirts and a simple tank top. She had given up on the cardigan after her second beer.

So he did what any rational man would do…

He immediately started the game with lewd truths and scandalous dares. As the night progressed, the others began to loosen up and have more fun.

It was then that it happened.

Kurt, who was decidedly red in the face following his last dare turned to Rachel and hurriedly asked, "Truth or dare, Berry?"

Drunk or not, Rachel was still embarrassed after seeing Kurt's dare. She deftly replied 'Truth'.

"Who was your first kiss?"

No doubt, Kurt expected something humiliating… perhaps it would be someone like Jacob Ben-Israel… or maybe she would never have been kissed at all.

So what if most people knew that him and Rachel had dated for seven or eight days? Nobody saw them kissing, and most people probably assumed it didn't happen at all.

This was what made him so smug.

Rachel Berry generally maintained a holier-than-thou perspective on life. No one would let her get away with that when they realized she gave her first kiss away to him. No one.

He was therefore not at all surprised to see her blushing ferociously, her eyes wide and pupils dilated. She stuttered.

It may have been the first time she had ever been speechless. Puck loved it.

"Well," snapped Kurt, who seemed to be regaining some of his usual attitude now that the attention was on someone else. "Who was it, Berry?"

She glanced at Finn hurriedly… no doubt worried that the love of her life would be angry when she told the room that Noah Puckerman was her first kiss.

This whole 'get-the-glee-club-drunk' idea had worked out better than he could have imagined... especially when Finn nodded to her obliviously and slurred, "S'fine, Rach."

He could literally hear her say his name as she opened her mouth. However, despite the fact that he was reveling in his success, even he couldn't help but notice when the syllable that fell from her lips was not the 'Puck' he had been waiting for… but

"Finn."

…Well that was certainly not what he was expecting. Looking back, he probably could have handled this revelation better than he did.

"What do you mean, 'Finn'?" he yelled, stunned. "Berry, you and I were making out ages ago!"

"You made out with Finn?" Kurt asked, his jaw sagging in a combination of shock, horror, and fascination.

"Hold up. Forget that. You made out with Puck?" asked Mercedes.

"Puck, dude, why didn't you tell me?" he heard Matt say from across the room.

"Did you know the Cookie Monster's real name is Sid?" asked Brittany suddenly.

…This at least managed to shut everybody in the room up for a moment as they contemplated this, before Artie simply asked, "Why on earth do you know that?"

Silence.

Puck decided to intervene. "Look, that's not the point. The point is that I dated Rachel while you were still dating Quinn which means if you kissed her before I did then you cheated on Quinn."

At this, Finn had the decency to look ashamed. "I… I shouldn't have cheated on Quinn. But I really liked you, Rachel." He said quietly, turning his head toward the scarlet-red girl beside him.

And that was just the final straw, because no way had Puck skipped out on a night of debauchery and cougar-sex so that he could inadvertently hitch Finn and Rachel together.

He ignored the fact that he had been drinking, because really, it had only been three beers and he would rather die than stay in Rachel Berry's basement and watch those two get at it in front of everyone.

There were some things he just could not be expected to do.

Puck was in rare form on Monday morning. He had spent most of Sunday morning being pissed. Sunday afternoon had been devoted to wallowing in self-pity. However, by Sunday night, he had begun formulating a plan to win Rachel Berry for himself.

He was not sure what was more shocking to the teachers at McKinley (or the student population in general): the fact that he was clean-shaven, not carrying a slushie, or dipping… or the fact that he was early for school on a Monday morning.

Probably the second one. He didn't really care.

He was, however, at Rachel Berry's locker at 7:30 AM… a full fifteen minutes before her usual arrival time.

Finally, the brunette in question turned the corner to the hallway her locker was in. She reddened considerably when she saw him, but managed to pull herself together long enough to greet him.

"Hello, Noah," she said, only barely betraying how nervous she was, "a bit early for you, isn't it?"

He took a deep breath.

"Cut the small talk, Berry. I'm gonna say it like it is—I guess I'm going to have to get over the fact that you gave my rightful position as owner of your first kiss to Hudson. I don't know what happened after I left, and honestly I have no interest in hearing about how you and him are going to go tap-dancing into the sunset together and have goofy, tall babies who talk too much and wear really ugly sweaters. 'Cause here's the thing… I hate this romantic garbage, but I kind of like you… even with your sweaters. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want you to break up with Hudson… I want you to be mine."

She stared at him quietly for a moment. When she opened her mouth, she seemed to stumble over her words before whispering, "I'm not breaking up with Finn."

He was pretty sure that those six words were the crappiest ones he had ever heard.

"Well, okay then. Good luck with your socially-awkward giant children." He said as he started to back away.

She grabbed the front of his letterman jacket; and even though he could easily have broken her grip, something about the determination in her eyes made him want to stay.

God, he was a tool.

"I'm not breaking up with Finn," she started again, "because he and I are not together. I don't know who told you we are, but they were mistaken. Finn and I had a long talk after he found out about you being the father… we agreed it was best to just be friends," here, she tripped over her words again, "…friends, because I still had feelings for you."

And no way was he going to turn down a speech like that. And he certainly was going to inform this whole hallway that Rachel Berry was officially off the market in whatever way he deemed necessary. And if that way happened to include kissing her until Sue Sylvester gave them detention for 'shameless bouts of indecency and indiscretion in the hallowed halls of McKinley High'… then so be it.

Puck was pretty sure none of that really mattered since he got the girl.

~Fin!~

Well, there you are! This was a little plot bunny of mine that's been killing me. I hope you all enjoyed. Please review; it'd mean the world to me.

.sienna