Okay, hold it in, Debra. You can do this.
Take a step back. Look at things from a further away point of view. So Dexter's a serial killer? No biggie. I'm a cop, I'm used to murderers and hanging around killers and Christ on a fucking cracker I was engaged to the Ice Truck Killer, it's not like I'm new to this whole thing. Dexter kills people, that's okay, Debbie listen up, this is all okay.
He loves me, and he loves Harrison, and he's just that same nice guy that he always was, but he just has a really weird way of getting rid of his stress. Or something. He kills people because he gets stressed out from dealing with Vince all day. That has to be it. And if that's it, then obviously it really isn't his fault that he kills people, it's Vince's. Dexter kills people because he has to, not because he likes it. It probably freaks him out and he probably feels really bad. He probably cries every time he does it.
...Or maybe he does enjoy it. In that case, what the fuck. Fuckity fuck hammer. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting in his apartment, holding a fucking prosthetic hand that his brother - my fiancee, god dammit - caressed. Dexter's insane. I have to call this in. What number do I call? Matthews? Regular 9-11? Dexter? Should I call Dexter? Make him give me an explanation?
Except he'll just say something stupid, like 'Turn me in, Deb.' I don't want to do that. Come on, Dex, give me something to work with, here. You're my brother and shit all I just don't want to lose you. You're my only family. But I don't want you to be a fucking serial killer, that's just wrong, Dex, please just stop stop stop stopstopstop
My head hurts! because I can't stop thinking about fucking Travis Marshall, and how easily Dex killed him, without a thought, without a care, without a worry in the world. I saw it all, Dex knows I saw it all. What do I do? If he thinks I'm a problem, will he kill me? Crap crap shit fuck oh fuck.
Hold it in until he gets here, Debra. You'll know what to say when he shows up.
But what if he comes to kill me? What if he doesn't like that I'm surprising him, by being here in his apartment, in his personal domain, with all his murder crap scattered around me? What if he just ups and decides that I'm too much of a wild card, and that I need to be taken care of, permanently? I'm his sister, but if he's a serial killer - and he is one, he has to be - will he have any qualms about killing an adopted sibling? Or even a biological sibling? Would things really be all that different if I was actually blood-related to him? Would I be feeling more disgusted right about now?
And I think that's exactly the problem right now. I don't feel disgusted. I feel kind of scared, but not totally. I feel... compressed. About to explode. I want to scream, but Harrison's in the other room, and Dexter would kill me if I woke him. I think. Truly. It's not just a figure of speech anymore.
Come home, Dexter, and just let me talk to you and get all this weight off my chest. I need to know, I need answers right now. Come on.
Please.