Empty, a maximum ride fanfic

(AN: Yes, I am alive! This is just a really short oneshot about Ari's POV, but it's a start.)
Disclaimer: Maximum Ride is owned by the almighty James Patterson, not me. The Song , 'Pain', belongs to Three Days Grace.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Ari dug his fingers into his scalp, feeling the dull, familiar pain of morphing, feeling his nose elongate into a muzzle under his fingers. He felt the itch of fur sprouting out of his skin, felt his teeth sharpening and lengthening, fingernails growing into claws and drawing blood, but none of that mattered. None of that mattered when that great, yearning emptiness he felt in his chest was reminding him every second how unwanted he was, how disgusting he was, how much of a freak he was. The proof of that was staring him right in the face, every single day, in the way his father ignored him, instead pining after that Maximum Ride and her flock. In the eyes of his father, Ari couldn't do anything right, and Maximum could do nothing but right.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Ari tipped his head back and howled, a low, desperate, desolate sound. He curled his fingers tighter, digging into his skin, tasting the salty tang of tears as they ran down his face. He could feel small pinpricks of pain, he knew the pain was there, but it still didn't matter. It didn't matter because Ari could feel the grief, the agonizing emotional pain because he was only seven, only a kid, and he was here under the uncaring moon howling and weeping and hurting, and his father wasn't here holding him.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Ari sobbed, dropping to his knees, cradling his head in his hands and pressing his face into his knees. His face creased as his broken cries wracked his body, mouth open and eyes screwed shut. He pressed his wrist into his mouth, trembling. He gulped in some air between sobs, then bit down, the coppery taste of blood filling his mouth. He held on tightly, feeling the blood dribble down his chin, waiting intently for the pain to make its sluggish way to his brain.

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Ari fell sideways with thump, whimpering in relief as the pain finally hit. He released his jaws from his arm and pressed his face into the dirt, focusing on the pain until he wasn't aware of anything but the pain. Because he'd rather feel the pain then the burning emptiness. Physical hurt was so much easier to deal with.

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all

Ari didn't want to feel like this. He didn't want to end up like this, slumped on the ground with tears streaking his face and blood running from a self-inflicted wound. He hadn't wanted to end up looking like a werewolf reject when he'd agreed to be turned into an Eraser, not even looking fully human when he wasn't morphed. He'd done it because he wanted to be like the flock, he wanted his father to hold him, to love him like he'd done before he'd taken the flock away. But all he'd done was turn himself into a big hulking mess, in almost constant pain, and his father hadn't even recognised what Ari had done. And Ari didn't know what to do anymore, didn't know what was going to happen in the future. All Ari knew was that he didn't want to feel empty anymore.

Rather feel pain...

(AN: So, there it is! Pretty short, but that was as far as my attention span would take me. So, R&R please!)