Ness inspected the refrigerator, searching for his routine midnight snack. Its lighting spilled from the interior onto his face, isolating him from the kitchen's bleak darkness. He thought he was alone. Two Villagers were hiding amongst the shadows. They crept closer and briskly invaded his personal space. The terrible twosome were suspended over his shoulders. Their glaring eyes enveloped him like pincers as they giggled and leant over him.
"What the-?" Ness' whisper abruptly loudened into a shout. "Get off!" He retaliated, attempting to swing his body round, but was halted. His wrists were cuffed by the hands of another when his arms tried to heave away.
Red, Ness' best friend, was coercive: "I suggest you keep your hands behind your back."
"Haha, oh, c'mon. You scared the crap outta me."
An axe's cold blade was pressed upon his neck. "Comply and you will live."
"You're kidding me, right? Comply? What's goin' on?" Sweat seeped from under Ness' cap. Tiny beads reflected the cold dim light off his face.
Blue closed in on Ness. Her gaze was like a signal lamp: round, piercing, blinding, and rarely blinking. Her striped dress crumpled against him. She uttered whispers directly into his ear. "Look at you, gettin' all worked up. What're you worrying about? It's only us; just you, me, and our friend here. Ain't that right, Red?"
"There's no one else here." Red stated to Ness over his adjacent shoulder, as if to reassure him.
"Don't you worry, pumpkin pie. Oh, Ness. You're so handsome!" Blue's hushed cunning blossomed into a squeak of delight.
They laid hands on his head, shoulders and arms, their aberrant, obscure touching freezing Ness in fright.
"Guys, stop!" Ness insisted in a harsh whisper.
Blue teased one of the soft tufts of hair that protruded from Ness' baseball cap. He dared not flinch as she twirled short, black strands around her thumb.
Initially, Ness had brushed off the Villagers' interest in him as mere curiosity, but as the encounter progressed, it dawned on him that the Villagers' demeanour was a little too intimate to be aught but playful mischief; it was borderline creepy. Fear and humiliation engulfed him as he stood upright between their wavering whispers.
"Us mayors know exactly how to take care of our people, don't we, Red."
"Certainly, it's our job." Red's lips parted and curved into a devilish smile.
"Because Red is such a good mayor, I don't have to pretend any more. He took care of me, and now it's my turn. I'll take good care of you, my lovely little man."
"Seriously, guys, this isn't funny anymore. You're creepin' me the fuck out!" Ness' growing fear became prevalent in his voice as it began to shake.
"Listen. Do as she says and you won't get hurt."
"What? Red, c'mon-"
"That's right, cutie pie! I've got a few things I've wanted to show you for a long time." Her hands trailed over his shoulders and she massaged them lovingly.
Red lifted his cap and dropped it to the floor. The peak patted against the tiles. He worked his hands through Ness' hair and around to his face, picturing his features.
Ness contorted in discomfort and shame, embarrassment radiating from his flushed cheeks. "Guys, that's not okay. You're being weird."
Red leaned forward slightly to look at Ness' luminous face. "I concur, Blue."
"Hmm? What're you saying?" Blue turned to her partner in crime, eyes widened in confusion.
"You're right. Ness is handsome." The Villagers exchanged glances in agreement. Into his friend's ear, Red whispered, "I remember when he was small. He's so tall now." His hands roamed from Ness' arms to his chest. He noticed how hard Ness' heart was pounding, as if it was beating itself to death.
"I wonder, how much of this reluctance is a facade?" Red pondered aloud, his sneer shrouded in the shadows.
Ness bit his lip in frustration, too terrified to speak up in defence. He struggled to hold back the tears that welled in his eyes.
Blue giggled nervously, and raised her voice from a whisper to an alluring invitation: "Come visit my room tomorrow, Ness. I'll show you 'round. Is 09:30 a good time?" She asked, lightly warming his shoulders, rubbing to and fro.
"Not really, I don't usually get up 'til the afternoon on weekends."
Her grip tightened around his shoulders. "I'm sorry! I forgot to mention that I start baking at that time." Her vent rasped through bared teeth.
"Oh. Okay." All sound was sapped from the room for a brief moment. The silence pricked Ness' ears like needles. "I'll go. Now, let go 'a me, please."
Without warning, Red loosened his grip. Ness' body stumbled and tackled the refrigerator. Plastic pots clattered onto the floor.
Red pocketed his axe, inducing a miniature cyclone around his fist. The air about the room was displaced until a gust of wind rushed over to him. "We're done here."
"See you tomorrow, honey bun!" Blue cooed to her infatuation, waving frantically.
Ness reached for the fallen goods, scowling at the Villagers as they walked away.

The door swung open and slammed against the wall. Tremors rippled through the room and shook the Villager. Ness stormed towards him, his baseball cap restraining his bed head. The Villager was greeted by a vigorous middle finger.
"What the fuck, Red?! You better tell me what the fuck happened right now, 'fore I knock that sleazy head a' yours outta the park!" Ness commanded furiously, swinging his bat with clenched fists before his reddened face.
"Ness, calm down. You haven't given me a chance to explain."
"I'm givin' you one right now, you rat!" He closed in on the Villager, his shaded eyes seething with rage and glaring down at him.
Red backed away, and sat down in his office chair. He locked his palms together with opposable thumbs. "As you've probably realised by now, Blue is infatuated with you. She noticed that we're friends, and saw it as an opportunity to ask about you. All the time. See, Blue is somewhat... unstable. And you've made it clear that you're not interested in a relationship with her. So I devised a plan to let her down gently. Arrange a date, and leave it at that. She refused to send you an invitation, or trust me to deliver it on her behalf. She insisted for you to be introduced to her in person."
Ness sat adjacent to Red, on a modest armchair. "Why did that fucked up meet-and-greet have anything to do with you?" He pointed at his suspect aggressively.
"Accompanying Blue was part of the agreement. She isn't fluent in English; she can only speak Animalese, and is completely unaware of the extent of your PSI. She fails to realise that you can translate without me. At first, I instructed you. Whenever I spoke to you after that, Blue thought I was translating."
"Okay... But if you weren't translating for real, why did you say all that creepy stuff to me?" He fidgeted in determination, twisting his bat's handle against an underlying rug.
Red's pupils whitened abruptly. Shit. Astute today, aren't you. He thought to himself, forbearing a grin. "One moment." He blinked in silence, eyeing a nearby apple as he pieced a sentence together.
"If I can recall, Blue has learnt some English terms. I was avoiding suspicion." He took the apple situated on his desk and bit into it.
"You'll have to come with me to this date then, or Blue won't understand me." Ness gesticulated. Psionic lines of red and blue flashed about his fingertips as he fidgeted peevishly.
"I suppose I will." Red sighed.
Ness looked over to the clock; they had five minutes to spare. "We better get going."