I do not own HP or the characters, and some of the dialouge in this story is straight from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Pansy could be really stupid sometimes. I always thought she was ignorant at times, even though I did agree with her a lot. However today it seemed like she was just desperately trying to irritate me. Her voice was shrill as she went on about the current situation and the school, as more muggleborns were taken from the school every day. It had made me a little nervous at first, considering mum was a muggleborn, however with the friends I currently kept I was at ease with it to some degree.
"Tracey, did I tell you my Draco is coming today? Apparently with the Dark Lord in charge they aren't worried about him getting into any trouble," Pansy droned, twirling her wand through her hair. I wondered if it would ever spark and set her hair on fire.
"No, I haven't," I replied, trying to sound remotely interested. I mean, at times Pansy was a good friend, I won't deny that. It's just that I wanted to trottled her on occasion. I suddenly wondered if I was getting my period. It would make sense considering how on edge I'd been lately.
Behind me I heard the door to the Slytherin common room open, and I turned to see Professor Slughorn, our new head of house, stumble in breathlessly.
"Students! Report to the Great Hall!" he boomed, which was unusual to see coming from him. He seemed genuienly scared.
"What's going on?" Millicent asked.
"No need to worry now, everyone get moving!" he stumbled towards Pansy and I. "Will you two go gather the other girls? Make sure everyone gets to the Great Hall it is imperitive," he asked, and I nodded.
"No problem," Pansy piped up. Turning around she grabbed my arm and pulled me along, which I let her do without resistance. Half the time I was a puppy dog behind her, a lot of the other girls teased me for it. I had heard other rumours that people thought I was in love with her. If they only knew…
"Girls! We have to report to the great hall!" we moved from floor to floor, first years to seventh, gathering everyone up. Pansy had made sure everyone was out, which I did admire about her. Even if she didn't do well with other people, it seemed like she always took care of her own.
Minutes later they found themselves shoved into the seats of the Slytherin table. Across the room I could see Harry Potter standing there, looking terrible. She had never spoken to Harry, or either of his friends, but I knew how much everyone in Slytherin hated him, especially Draco. I had never really cared for the guy either, it seemed to me as if he had some sort of god complex. I turned to look at Pansy at my left, who looked irritated.
"I wonder where Professor Snape is, shouldn't he be here? He IS the Headmaster after all," she whispered to me. That was a good question. All the Slytherins had been trilled when he'd become headmaster of Hogwarts, proud even. I had been fond of him in a respectful sort of way.
Professor McGonagall was going over basic evacuation procedures, her voice loud and strong.
"Prefects, when I give the word, you will organize your House and take your charges, in an orderly fashion, to the evacuation point." It was a scary thought, that things were about to get bad here. It seemed an all out war was on its way. A Hufflepuff boy stood and asked if they could stay and fight. Other students around applauded, agreeing with the idea. I couldn't fathom staying here to fight, especially knowing I was killing other peoples parents. I knew several of our classmates had Death Eater's as parents, although it had never really bothered me. None of them had bothered my family, thankfully. Mum had been interrogated by the Ministry when the Dark Lord had come to control it, but they had let her go without incident. Pansy had said I was lucky I had friends in high places.
I jumped suddenly when his voice echoed across the Great Hall, causing the sky ceiling to darken slightly.
"Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight," His voice sent chills down my spine. I had never met him face to face, however father had done several favors for him through the ministry, even if he wasn't a Death Eater. I always thought it was strange that he did that, I remembered asking him why bother helping someone when you were married to a muggleborn.
"There's no sense in me not helping out, especially if it gets them off my back." It'd all been just to save his own ass. No wonder she didn't care for him that much.
All eyes were on Potter. Pansy surprised me by jumping to her feet, her wand hand shaking.
"But he's there! Potter's there! Someone grab him!" I sat back, ready to spring at her defense if needed, it seemed desperate for her to do such a thing, but instead of anyone grabbing him, everyone turned on us. I grabbed my wand from my pocket, holding it steady underneath the table. However, McGonagall intervened by asking that we leave the Hall first. Pansy stomped forward, falling in stride with the rest of the Slytherins, and I followed, like the puppy dog I was. I dragged behind at first, looking back to see that none of the Slytherins were staying to help fight. I wondered how many would.
I never wanted to join in the war. Pansy had always said she wanted to fight and help the Dark Lord, but it seemed she was just trying to be brave. Everyone seemed to think she was such a terrible and heartless person, but I knew a different side to her. I knew she cried in her bed at night when she'd been fighting with Draco. Or the time that the Granger girl had gotten under her skin. It seemed anyone she didn't like she retaliated against, but I knew it was just a front.
"Pansy! Wait up!" I called, and she turned and waved for me to hurry up. My pace quickened.
"I have to get everyone out, I am a Prefect after all," she said, a small smile creeping across her lips.
"Your really going to go through with this?" I asked. She knew what I meant by this statement. A lot of the other Slytherins were planning on joining the fight on Voldemort's side. I didn't want to, I just wanted to go home and get away from all this. However, if Pansy was going to fight, I'd be there to back her up.
"If my Draco comes, I will be there," was all she had to say. As if on cue I looked to the left and saw a streak of blonde hurrying off down the corridor. Crabbe and Goyle stopped suddenly, as well as Pansy. Daphne and Millicent ignored them, following the rest of the group up the stairs.
"Pansy, wait!" I whispered as loudly as I could. Pansy had met up with him, looking disheveled.
"Draco where are you going?" she asked, and he seemed distracted.
"Not now, I have something I need to take care of," he said.
"Were with you Malfoy," Crabbe said, looking rather proud. A loud bang erupted behind us, and I turned to see a streaks of light bounce between two individuals. It seemed the war had begun.
"Find me Potter, NOW!" Draco shouted, hurrying off in the opposite direction of the sounds of battle. Pansy hesitated, and ran back the way we came, knowing he was in the Great Hall only a few minutes before. I ran after her, dodging a stunning spell as I went, trying to make sure Pansy would be all right.
"Tracey get up here!" she ordered, and my pace quickened. After reaching the Great Hall I was shocked to see several people fighting in the midst of some rubble. Our old teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts was there dueling a Death Eater I didn't recognize, as well as McGonagall taking on two at once. There were some sporatic students fighting two against one, and it seemed pretty even.
"Pansy if we aren't going to fight we need to go, it's too dangerous," I shouted over the booming noise down the hall.
"Don't be ridiculous! You knew we'd be here regardless, we have to help Draco, do you see him?" she asked, searching the Great Hall with her deep eyes.
"He's gone, lets keep moving," I said, holding my hand out for hers. She looked at it and shook her head, a kind of blank expression on her face. I withdrew, and headed off towards the stairs. I heard her follow close behind as we reached the second floor. The body of a seventh year Hufflepuff lay sprawled across the top of the stairs, his eyes wide in horror. I stopped short, taking in everything around me. The screams, the shattering sound of spells ricocheting off stone; it was deafening. Pansy headed towards the next staircase and I pulled her back.
"Please stop, you don't have to do this for him! This is insane! We have to leave," she jerked her arm away and glared at me.
"Come on Tracey, it's not like we are in the battle, we are just helping out a little, everything is-" she stopped short and grabbed me, pulling me to the left just in time for a curse to shoot past me and hit the brick wall. I took a deep breath, and Pansy had a look of sheer terror on her face as her legs gave out from under her. I dropped to the floor, holding her close to my chest. I took in my surroundings, making sure we were alone.
"It's okay, we're safe now," I said, stroking her silky black hair. "Did you see who that was? It was a Death Eater! He attacked us without hesitation," she whispered under her shaky breath.
"I know, doesn't seem right does it?" I said, looking down into her face. She squeezed my hand, lifting herself up off the floor.
"I'm sorry Tracey," she said, and I knew she meant it. She didn't apologize very often.
"It's fine, let's just get out of here," I said pulling her to her feet.
"We should look for Draco, it's not safe," she said, and I nodded, agreeing completely with things not being safe.
"Wait, someone's coming," she pushed my back against the wall as two Gryffindor students hurried past. Her body was tight against mine, and I let a sigh escape my lips.
"What is it?" she asked looking into my eyes. I didn't respond, instead I let my hand rest on her waist, pulling her closer to me.
"Don't…" she put her hand on my mouth, and I removed it quickly, kissing her quickly before she could stop me. It was soft, and it reminded me of the first time we kissed. It had been a dare issued by Goyle, he thought it'd be funny. We had been sitting up in the astronomy tower after class and Pansy had her house elf sneak a bottle of fire whiskey from her mom's liquor cabinet. She was already feeling pretty tipsy by the time the bottle made its way back to me the second time, and Goyle suggested that we kiss. I had laughed nervously, while Pansy took the bottle from my hands. I was in heaven in those few seconds that passed between our lips, and I didn't want to stop.
Pansy pushed herself away from me, looking shocked. "I'm sorry," I said quickly.
"No your not! Don't lie to me," she said shaking her head. "What do you want from me?" I asked.
"I want you to leave," she said, taking a step back. Tears began to form in my eyes.
"I'm sorry, I can't let you risk your life for him," I said.
"That's not your concern!" she shouted.
"It is when it's about you!" I raised my voice back at her, and she said nothing.
"Pansy, what are you doing? We have to look for Potter," a voice said behind me, and I turned to see Goyle.
"Please don't go," I pleaded, but there was nothing more I could do.
"Just go," she said, and hurried down the corridor back the other direction.
Another large chunk of castle blasted apart behind me, and I fell forward in pain. I reached up to my head and pulled my hand back to see blood. Screams echoed outside and I stumbled to my feet, reaching for the stairs. My heart beat faster as I got more and more frightened, not only for myself but for Pansy. I tried to call for help, but I was silenced by more loud bangs coming from overhead. A girl came up the stairs and saw me, and I collapsed in relief.
"Are you okay?" she asked, hurrying to my side.
"Pansy…I've got to find her," I said, but she ignored me.
"Come on, we've got to get you out of here," she grabbed my arm and tried helping me to my feet.
"Wait-" A Death Eater rounded the corner and pointed his wand in our direction. I recognized him immediately as Goyle's father.
"Please, wait!" but it was too late. The killing curse shot towards the girl, killing her instantly.
"Stop this! Please," I pleaded, but instead he came towards me. He grabbed me by the neck, putting his wand to my throat. I choked, pulling at his hand, but to no avail. As his grip tightened I felt the strength to fight back fade, and as the darkness took me I saw the perfect image of Pansy's face swim before my eyes. I knew in that moment my love for her was something evil could not destroy, something I would live with even through death. Nothing could change my heart like my feelings for Pansy had. I knew this was it for me, that I wouldn't see her again, wouldn't get to tell her how sorry I was, that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She had saved me in her own way, but I wasn't going to be able to save her. The darkness took over as the last images of her faded from my mind, as well as my changed heart.