Just Friends
They're friends that hold hands and Santana knows that she should probably be ashamed of the way that she looks at Brittany. She knows that everyone would hate her if they took the time to dissect the way her eyes linger too long but it's hard to care when Brittany's blue eyes look at her like she's the only person on the whole goddamn planet.
They're friends that hug for far too long sometimes and Santana thinks that that's probably okay because Brittany kind of has this effect on people that makes them want to hug her anyway.
They're friends who talk with their mouths super close but they're always telling secrets and Brittany insists that the less space that there is for those secrets to escape, the safer they'll be and Santana has to admit that it makes sense so she moves closer still. Theirs is a secret of epic proportions, after all.
They're friends who fall asleep together. In bed, on the couch, in the grass. Brittany drools a bit on Santana's shoulder and she never says a word because she thinks it's sort of cute in a pretty gross way. She's always liked sleepovers best because they share a sleeping bag or a blanket fort and sometimes they fall asleep holding hands (which is beyond adorable in a way that Santana mostly refuses to think about).
They're friends who kiss and Santana knows how wrong that is but sometimes it feels like the only thing she's supposed to be doing. Brittany smells soft like bubble gum and her mouth is pink and perfect and tastes like strawberries somehow and though she'd never admit it she truly prefers it to kissing boys. The boys she kissed always smelled like sweat and grass and cheap soap and they're all scratchy somehow, on their faces or clothes or whatever.
They're friends with benefits and Santana can't handle thinking about what that means.
They're not even friends anymore and the void has left Santana reeling. She knows that it's her fault but she'd rather blame Cripples Mc Shortpants and his stupid wheelchair then think about all of the things that she's so afraid of. She'd rather die than think about the way that she hurt Brittany.
Then they're friends again, tentatively, and when they kiss again it's like the first time all over and Santana thinks that she sees fireworks...but they fall into the same patterns like they'd never left and it seems like nothing is working until, one day, it is.
They're definitely not friends any more, not really, and Santana can't bring herself to care because the alternative is so much better. They haven't been friends since the lockers, and nationals, and all of those little moments in between friendship and something indescribable and Santana knows that one day, not long from now, she'll work up the courage to ask a girl who's more than her best friend to marry her.
After all, it's not like they're just friends (or that they ever were).
a/n. This is my first attempt at actual Glee fic (as opposed to character studies) and I would love some feedback eh? Please review!