Title: The Legend Of Zelda Majora's Mask - Mask Unveiled VersionSummary: This is the side of Majora's Mask that was banned from the story board. This is what REALLY happened.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Legend of Zelda, as you are aware, and Miyomoto is an amazing man for coming up with all this although I think he should make a game based on the love of Link and Malon not that whore Zelda…
Brother: dude you're going off the deep end againMe: so?
Brother: Stop obsessing over Malon and Link all the Zelda fans will hate you
Me: then they're REALLY gonna hate that picture of Link and Malon fucking each other I took last week :D
Brother: you and your voyeurism, I swear…
Me: EEHEEHEE BACK TO THE STORY!
Chapter 1: A Bad Trip
Narrator: In the vast land of Hyrule is the tale of a story that is no more then legend. A story of a boy clothed in Green to save the world from the evil that sought to engulf the world. After the boy vanquished the evil, he set on a search to find a beloved and lost friend…This is obviously NOT that story! Link was sitting down at the edge of the lost woods next to his beautiful young red horse companion Epona. He awoke from a slumber that took him through most of the night. He stretched and yawned. "Damn Epona, that was some good weed we found last night." His happy friend came up to him and rubbed him with her nose. "You're right we must be off." He got on his horse still half baked from the night before. As he walked on he kept thinking about how he received his horse. He thought of the beautiful ranch girl with porcelain skin, flaming red hair, and perfect eyes blue as the sea, with the perfect voice that could make the angels weep.
(Brother: Dude you're doing it again.
Me: SHUT UP I'M THE WRITER THIS IS MY WORLD AND MY HEAD! NOW GET OUT OF MY THOUGHTS! AHHHHH *runs away screaming*
Brother: um…o…kay…looks like I gotta finish this one…*smokes from joint* alright let's : THAT WAS MY LAST BLUNT YOU PRICK *beats brother in head with a bat and knocks him out* okay back to the story)
Link and Epona ventured through the woods. They have been on their travels for many months and still no closer to what he was looking for…The Bong of Destiny.
(Brother: DUDE! That's Tenacious D! stop ripping things off! And he was looking for Navi
Me: SHUT UP!)
Okay so Link was really looking for his lost fairy friend Navi, who abandoned him at the Temple Of Time in Hyrule. Link was still half baked and groggy and ignored what he thought were two Navis floating by him ahead. As soon as he got them out of his mind, the two fairies attacked Link and Epona and he fell off. Through the woods oh so thick, came a Skull Kid with a mask and an enormous dick
Brother: I swear to God, one more Robot Chicken reference I'm gonna kick your ass!
Me: Do I need to get Mr. Chips?
Brother:…..
Me: Exactly…anyway!
Skull Kid walked up to Link. "Excellent my fairy friends…I wonder if he's got anything good on him." As Skull Kid walked up to Link's body he couldn't help notice his tunic was up a little. "OH MY FUCKING GOD! HE'S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!" And Skull Kid pushed his tunic down, not needing to see that. He dug through Link's pockets and pulled out a blue ocarina. "Hey man! Is this a bong or a pipe? And six holes? What he need six four? Ahaha Get it? "six-four" Because we're on the Nintendo 64" Tattle came up to skull kid and whispered in his ear. "Skull Kid, we're not supposed to know that." Skull Kid Shrugged. "Hey skull kid that's an ocarina! Lemme try it please." Tattle hit Tale and said "What if we broke it? That costs $60 on E-Bay we'd go hungry for months!" Skull Kid blew in the ocarina and made a sound. "Ahahaha it make silly noises!" All of a sudden Lady GaGa skipped across the forest singing 'Bad Romance' "blah blah zah zah zah, wah wah, ha ha ha, Ga Ga , Rah rah rah!" Skull Kid looked at her and said "speaking of silly noises…" and then shot a fireball at her and blew her up. The world was now a little safer. Link awoke holding his head. "The hell was that?" He said and saw Skull Kid. "Nigga gimme my ocarina or I'll cut your bulls off and eat them!" Skull Kid jumped on Link's horse and shouted "Heil Hitler!" and ran off. Link tried hard to stay on the horse but couldn't hold on anymore. He followed after Skull Kid's direction and he fell down a long hole. He saw many interesting colors as he fell, thinking the weed was kicking in again and he started to sing. "Now I'm Free! Free Falling!"
(Brother: Tom Petty is gonna sue your ass for that…
Me: SHUT UP I AM LADY GAGA!
Brother: Stealing LittleXKuriboh jokes? You hit a new
me: Screw the lows I have money
Brother: Just continue so we can go get drunk and pretend we never murdered the greatest game series ever
me: WITH PLEASURE! :D…mmm pleasure…Like your mom!
Brother: We have the same mom
me: ….o_O *goes back to story*)
Link found himself on top of a flower he had fallen on. "Flower power FTW….fucking hippies." Lights came on and Skull Kid was floating there. "What's with that horse of yours I think it's retarded. I remembered I could fly so I got rid of it for you." Link stood in awe "What the fuck man! My girl gave me that horse! I'm gonna kill you!" Skull Kid laughed. "You think you can beat me?" Link shrugged "Probably. I killed Ganondorf didn't I?" Skull Kid looked at link and said "Unlike Ganondorf I am actually evil." "How so?" Link replied. "I was the one who invented both Windows Vista and the Phillips CDI!" Link eyes grew wide in shock and agony. "YOU MONSTER!" Skull Kid shook his head and Link began to experience pain.
He saw a bunch of Deku Scrubs around him and they kept chanting. "PLANT ORGY! PLANT ORGY! SMOKE US UP AND HAVE A PLANT ORGY!" Link ran away fast as he could as the biggest Deku Scrub came up behind him. "I'M GONNA RAPE YOU LI'L WHITE BOY!" When Link came to he saw his reflection in the water. He then screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK! AM I A GRASS TYPE POKEMON?" Skull Kid started laughing and flew backwards to leave. Link Rushed after him but was held back by a fair. "Navi! Get out of the way." Tattle looked at link and said "I'm not a Navi I'm Tattle." Just then the door sealed and Tattle tried to get out but couldn't. "Just fuckin' great! I'm stuck with a stupid pokemon!" screamed Tattle. Link began to slam his head in the ground. "What are you doing?" Tattle asked. "Trying to snap out of this hallucination had a bad trip last night I guess." Tattle shook her head. "Look we can only find the Skull Kid by working together. So we're partners. Now let's get going."
Me: And that's the end of chapter one! :D
Brother: What…the…fuck…man
Me: what?
Brother: I seen some bad parodies but this…wow…you just stalked, raped, tortured, and murdered Majora's Mask in one chapter!
me: I know. I'm so talented! :D
brother: You just single handedly butchered the greatest game ever. What are you gonna do next?
Me: Drink, eat, be merry, might rub a few out, I don't
brother: Jesus Christ man…You're really fucked up in the head
Me: And that's why I am amazing! Now lead us out or no booze for you!
Brother: *sigh* I fuckin' hate you… Thank you everyone for reading this fanfic, review please. If you're lucky, Matt won't post anymore. If he does….God help us all.