A/N: So, I'm a little sorry for doing another time travel fic but I love them and I wanted to try my hand at one for this fandom. There will be a little angst in the beginning but over all I want this to be light and a bit perverted. If you have any comments or suggestions or if I have gotten something wrong let me know.

Disclaimer: I love these guys but I don't own them.

Chapter 1

There's nothing but darkness in the beginning. It always starts with absolute nothingness and then a gradual awareness. This time was different. I came awake with a huge gasping breath that was cut off by a hand over my mouth. I want to panic but that won't help matters any so I take a deep breath through my nose and immediately relax. I know who is here. I would recognize that scent anywhere; Rain, steel and soap. Zack.

He died before me again. I couldn't save him again. It's been years but we're back again and I missed him so, so much. I learned long ago to forgive myself but that didn't make seeing him die over and over hurt any less or make me any less lonely after he was gone.

I have to choke back a sob when he pulls his hand away. He's whispering to me at the same time he lifts me from the bunk and carries me bridal style, rushing out of the dorms. It's a mad dash to his apartment just a couple floors above the cadet resident floor.

His usually cheerful demeanor is gone and in its place is worry and comfort. Just hold on Spike. It's okay, I'm here. We're almost there, just hold on to me. I have to focus on his whispered words to keep control of myself as he leaves the dorms as fast as he can and within minutes we're safe in his apartment.

He sits on the sofa with me straddling his thighs, my face buried in his neck and I let go of the tenuous hold I have on my emotions. No matter how quiet I try to stay it doesn't work and I'm left gasping and sobbing. He just lets me be and rubs my back with one hand and the other palming the back of my head, gently running his hands through the short hair at the base of my neck; It's such a soothing motion. I have no idea how long I cried but my eyes were burning, my nose was stuffed up badly and I could feel my pulse in my head. Zack produced a tissue from somewhere for me to clean up with.

"Come on Spike, talk to me." He said and when I look up there is that gentle smile I love so much.

"I'm so tired Zack. How many times are we going to have to go through this? If we fail this time I think I might actually break. I don't want to kill him again; I don't want to watch everyone die again." Even my voice is weary and trembling, I can hear it so clearly and I knew there isn't any point to try and mask the fact from Zack. He knows me way too well now.

"Hey," he says and runs his hands through my hair. "We will get through this. I won't let you break and you know I'm always here for you. No matter what happens. We'll get it right one of these times. Just remember I always come back to you."

"You say that every time but…" I trailed off as I notice something different about him. I scan his face closely; I know it just as well as I know my own. I widen my eyes in surprise and bring my hand to his face. I rub my fingertips over the spot where his scar should be and look into his luminescent blue-green eyes. Such a small change but he'd had that scar since I knew him in my first life and I only noticed it because it's not there now.

"What's wrong Spike?" He looks at me worriedly.

"Something's changed. Not only did I come to differently but... Your scar it's not there. You haven't gotten it yet which means... he's still alive Zack." I can't help but to laugh and for the first time in a very long time I have a little hope, such small changes and yet it gives us a chance we never had before.

It takes Zack a moment to catch up with my thought process but then he hugging me tightly and laughing too. So many times we have come back here, to the beginning. Only me, Zack and Aerith ever remember our past lives. I have lost count how many times we have done this but some things always stay the same while others change. Every time we have been sent back it's too late to save Angeal and Genesis.

So this simple revelation is exciting. Everything started with their degradation. In one of our lives we figured out how to cure them, but without the chance we couldn't put that knowledge to good use. There's hope and I wanted to cry again only with happiness this time. We had so much to do and things would get bad before they got good again but this time there would be good.

We were so caught up in our own little world neither of us heard his door. We both froze when an unexpected voice spoke. "Well, well. What do we have here?" How the hell does someone drawl and make it sound so damn seductive. It wasn't a voice I recognized.

Zack picked his head up and looked over my shoulder. The wide eyed shock of his face was somewhat comical but I held back my laughter and looked over my shoulder at whoever was standing behind me. I almost let the shock show on my face but I had better control than that. I was not expecting all three Firsts to be standing in Zack's small apartment. I had never met Genesis or Angeal but I had seen pictures of them. It must have been one of them that had spoken because I knew Sephiroth's voice all too well.

I had to do some serious research on them throughout each life so I knew a fair bit about them. Not to mention Zack was constantly telling me stories, but I had never met either of them. And here they all were; Angeal who looks so much like Zack, Sephiroth in all his silver and black glory with a look of indifference on his face and Genesis; perfectly whole, no sign of degradation. They are here and beautiful and alive.

I wonder if the interference of science is what made them all so damn beautiful. It wouldn't surprise me and I was happy to note that so far none of them were showing any signs of insanity, that I could see at least. Since Zack had gone mute at the sight of his mentor I decided to speak first. "I apologize for not getting up and saluting sirs, but I am quite comfortable where I am; if you don't mind?" I didn't even try to stop the smile that spread across my face.

"Don't mind us precious; just continue whatever it was you were doing." Genesis said waving a hand in dismissal and that told me who it was that spoke first. Seductive drawl indeed and damn men with sexy smirks.

"Genesis!" Angeal reprimanded. "You're fine cadet. We are not on duty yet. I hope we were not interrupting."

"Voyeur." I stated under my breath but go figure they heard, damn enhanced senses. Genesis laughed and Angeal huffed in amusement. And by all that was Holy I swear I could see a very small smile on even Sephiroth's face. "Ah, not yet." I said slyly. I couldn't help it. I was happy in that moment and I was just messing around a bit. Zack slapped my hip lightly making me jump in surprise and whip my head back in his direction. He was grinning at me and I knew that look.

"What? I was just joking." I told him, eyeing him warily not sure if I was going to like what he was going to say judging by the look in his eye.

"You're a damn troublemaker." He chuckled then looked at the three Firsts. "By the way what are you guys doing here? I'm not due for work yet."

"We all were going to breakfast this morning remember Zackary, we spoke about this last night." My legs tightened around Zack's thighs involuntarily. Without the edge of insane superiority in his voice Sephiroth could seduce anyone just by speaking and it never failed to make my stomach jump. Zack felt it and tightened his hand on my hip.

He scratched at the back of his head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I got a little distracted and forgot."

"Obviously." Sephiroth said dryly.

"Just a moment if you don't mind then I'll leave him to you?" I looked over my shoulder at Sephiroth who just nodded.

I looked back at Zack. "Meet at the usual place at 1900? She'll be expecting us and we can make plans together and maybe she can let us know what going on." He nodded at me. "And you need to take the day and think on our agreement while you're at it. I'm not going to stand in your way and while I may not be ecstatic to do it, you know I will and be happy for you in the process."

"Shut up. It's not like you wouldn't try to get anything out of it and besides, I just had an idea," Oh god not one of those, you never knew what you were getting into when he said those words. "And I'm sure you would be the only one who could pull it off." He smirked at me, his eyes lighting up mischievously and held up his hand, wiggling his fingers at me.

I frowned at him and looked at his hand. What the hell does five have to do with our agreement. When we first figured out that every time we failed to save Gaia and stop Sephiroth, and we came back, we got a second chance so to speak. Unfortunately every time we were sent back Genesis and Angeal were already dead.

During one of our lives we spoke at length about our first loves and what we could do if we ever had the chance. While Zack and I love each other with everything we had, and we always would, we never got the chance with our first loves; Sephiroth for me and Angeal for Zack.

After defeating him for the third time in my first life I dropped the hero worship but kept the respect and admiration for Sephiroth. After learning more about the General through Zack, observation and multiple lives, things shifted and I fell in love with the man before the madness hit.

Zack had fallen in love with Angeal in our first life but never thought he would have a chance with his mentor so he kept it to himself and when he met Aerith and liked her, he decided to try and move on.

After living the same life over and over again we decided that even rejection was worth the risk. Unfortunately while Sephiroth was always there, Angeal was not and I would never leave Zack to pursue something with the General. We agreed we would step back and take the chance to go after them if we had the choice and be happy for each other but that still didn't explain the number five.

When it clicked in my slow ass brain I actually slapped myself in the forehead. "Gaia I'm such a dumbass." Zack was snickering. I looked at him wide eyed. "Seriously?" He nodded. "You're not joking?" He shook his head. "And it's something you really want? You're not offering that up just to appease me?"

"You really are a dumbass. Come on Cloud, can you seriously say you hadn't thought of it?"

"I'm not denying or objecting, shit that's like a dream come true and is now number 2 on my wish list."

"What's number 1?" He interrupted.

I looked at him in disbelief. "What do you think idiot?"

"Oh, yeah I deserved that." I rolled my eyes at him but smiled.

Once we have all the most important stuff figured out we will start some planning and if we can pull it off, I don't think it'll be easy but I am up for the challenge and if it works I will worship at your feet for the rest of our lives." He laughed loudly at my declaration. I was completely serious though. I may have thought about us all together once upon a time but it's not something I would have ever brought up. I knew how much Angeal meant to him and I would not stop him from at least trying a relationship with his mentor.

"I'll believe that when I see it." He said still laughing lightly.

I slid off Zack's lap and stood in front of him. "That's a happy thought that will get me through the rest of the day and boring ass classes. I need to go now though and get ready." I looked around for a minute.

"Tsurugi?" Zack asked me and I nodded. "Still where it should be. I was too worried to remember to grab it." He reached up and tugged on the chain around my neck holding a key. For some reason I've never found out, First Tsurugi and Fenrir always followed me into each life. I wasn't going to question it, just be thankful they were with me at all. "Same spot?"

"It's fine. Would you mind grabbing it and bring it up here for me. I won't have a chance to do it til much later and we'll check it out on our way back tonight, he's probably there though."

"Yup, now go before you're late. Be good and think before you act. Don't lose your temper."

"Yeah, I got it." I walked toward the three First who looked a little bewildered at us. I couldn't help but eye them a little and who could blame me. I had always loved the General's leather coat and pants and now there was Genesis. I think I may have a leather fetish now. I could definitely picture the five of us together, vividly, and it was time to go. Had to forcefully push those images from my mind for the time being.

I had to go around Genesis to get to the door but he spoke before I could pass him. I should have known it was coming sooner or later. After all the stories from Zack and all the things I've read about him.

"My friend, your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess." I took that out of context considering how he was leering at me and replied.

"He is guided by hope that the gift will bring bliss." I purposefully add a little seductive purr to the last word. It was so much fun to see him speechless. I nodded at Sephiroth and Angeal before leaving.

This might just be easier than I originally thought.

…

As soon as the door clicked shut, Zack was curled on his side laughing uproariously. "You should see your face Gen. You look like he slapped you." He gasped.

"I feel like I have been. No one but these two quotes Loveless back at me and that's only because they've heard it so many times they have memorized it. Is he a fan of the play or a club member?"

"Neither. He's read the play once I think and he wouldn't be caught dead in a fan club." Zack said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Who is that cadet Zackary?" Sephiroth inquired.

"Cloud Strife. My best friend."

"Looked like he was more than your friend to me." Genesis said a bit casually.

Zack gave him a serious look. "He is. He's pretty much family."

"You really shouldn't be doing what you were with family Puppy." Genesis teased.

"Not like that Genesis," Zack nearly snarled at him. "Cloud is...everything to me. I would die for him." I have died for him. He added silently.

Angeal decided to step in before a fight broke out between his protégé and Genesis. He'd seen his student angry but this was a different level of anger Zack had ever displayed in front of them. "Puppy, why have we not met him if he's that important to you? Did you not want him to meet us or did he not know you were friends with us?"

"There's something you have to understand about Cloud, Yes he knows who you guys are, yes he knows we're friends and no he wouldn't ask to meet you. For one he would have felt like he was using me to meet you and he would never do that, two he admires all of you a great deal and knows that you're all very busy people, too busy to bother with a simple cadet, and three I didn't want to introduce him and then have you guys feel the need to accept him just because he's my friend."

"That is all understandable but you know us better than that and we wouldn't accept him if we didn't want to. Now that we have met him though, I must say that he is very interesting. There seems to be more to him than what one might think. He didn't feel the need to stand at attention nor did he look at us with fear or adoration like many do." Sephiroth said curiously. Now that Cloud had left he had relaxed a little.

Of course he wouldn't do that. Cloud knows what it's like and it made him very uncomfortable when people looked at him like that. "Well if you don't mind him being around more than I see no problem with it and I doubt he would either. If you want to get to know him better just come by tomorrow night and have dinner with us." I know for a fact he wouldn't mind. Zack snickered internally. "Let's get to breakfast, I have a ton of stuff that needs to be done." Since he had gotten dressed before he grabbed Cloud from the dorms he was already ready to go.

"What about whatever it was he wanted you to grab?" Genesis asked.

Zack waved him off. "I'll get it after we eat and don't even bother to ask what it is, you'll find out eventually." He told them and followed his friends out the door.

…

Walking into Second Class SOLDIER Fair's apartment that morning should have been routine. Angeal going to drag his student out of bed while Genesis and Sephiroth sat in the living room and talked amongst themselves until both came back to join them. However what they found was most unexpected.

Zack with a little blonde cadet on his lap in a semi provocative position laughing hysterically. Genesis ran his eyes up and down the blonde. Haphazard spikes in a pale blonde color, elegant and slender though he seemed to be a little on the short side from the looks of it, smooth pale skin. Attractive from the back at least. When no one spoke Genesis took it upon himself to do so.

Both Zack and the blonde froze, their laughter cut off instantly. Zack looked at the three Firsts and they were a bit taken aback by the complete shock and surprise on his face. Zack should have known they were going to be there that morning. It was something they did often when none of them were out on missions.

Then the blonde turned and looked at them over his shoulder. The three first were left looking at crystal clear blue eyes, ocean blue was probably the closest color but that wasn't quite right either. They did however notice his red rimmed eyes and fading tear tracks down otherwise flawless cheeks.

While his looks were unusual, almost exotic, the odd part for the three Firsts was he looked each of them in the eye and didn't jump to attention like everyone, with the exception of Zack, did.

The way the blonde spoke to them, if they had been on duty and in public, would have bordered on insubordination and that was...Disconcerting and a little refreshing. The blonde was turning out to be intriguing.

Angeal was his usual gentlemanly self but it certainly seemed like they had interrupted something intimate. Genesis did not deny it when the blonde called him a voyeur, there was no reason to lie about something that was true and his closest friends knew that as well as a few other things about him, and the cadet playfully answered Angeal. Genesis was starting to like this kid more every time he opened his mouth. For all the innocents in his face, behind it held much more.

Sephiroth watched the interaction between the cadet and Zack closely. There was affection, comfort and something obviously sensual between them. They acted like they had been together for years, but that wasn't possible. The cadet couldn't be any older than 15 or 16 and for all the times Zack had mentioned his hometown, he never said anything about someone who could be a childhood friend or someone who he was in an intimate relationship with.

The boy was certainly entertaining. The General wasn't sure if he was perceptive or joking but he called Genesis on his remark and almost playfully reprimanded them on their interruption. There had never been a need for them to knock before but maybe that needed to be remedied now with this new information.

Angeal just watched the two of them passively. He was a little upset his Puppy hadn't said anything about this cadet. He was under the impression Zack told him everything but that was apparently not true and now he was wondering if there was anything else his protégé might be hiding from him.

The three Firsts were lost in the next few minutes. It was like the two boys were talking in a different language. They knew what was being said but couldn't understand a bit of it. The two boys were obviously excited about something. What was Tsurugi and what did the key go to?

All three of the Firsts watched the cadet eye them blatantly making no effort to hide what he was doing. Then he quoted Loveless back at Genesis leaving the usually talkative man, speechless, before leaving without another word. Zack's amusement was contagious leaving Sephiroth and Angeal smiling while Genesis spluttered incoherently.

Seeing Zack lose his temper with Genesis was not uncommon but to the extent that it happened shocked the General and the other two Firsts. Zack's clearly affectionate explanation of his friend they now knew as, Cloud, left them all wanting to know more about the unusual cadet and they most certainly would be taking him up on his offer for dinner the next night.

All three observed Zack through the day and noticed some very big differences. He did his paperwork without a complaint. He was still energetic and cheerful but it was like he had aged years over night. Zack's hyperactive behavior was toned down to a manageable level.

This was starting to look like an interesting puzzle.

…

I don't know how, but I always seem to forget how much classes suck. Maybe my brain subconsciously repressed the memories. I remember the subjects but all the instructors are idiots, in my opinion anyways. I had to hold back my strength in combat training which sucked even more. I couldn't wait for Zack to become my mentor. It's how we always did this since I always came back with my full strength. I would still have to attend all the other classes but I'd be able to go pretty much all out with him. Thankfully I was exposed to so much Mako when I was younger I have a natural Mako green shine to my eyes and what I went through in my first life never affected the color they'd always been.

I may not like killing people but I loved the thrill of the fight. I always have, Sephiroth wasn't the only reason I came here in my first life. After training with Zangan I got my first taste of fighting not counting the bullies, those were not fair fights. I was disillusioned back then. I thought myself better than everyone else and didn't put in the effort I should have. I should have died the first time I managed to kill Sephiroth and the only reason I managed to beat him every time after that was thanks to that bastard Hojo and his experiments.

I hate Hojo with every fiber of my being for doing what he did to Sephiroth, Zack and me. I had discovered Gast found Jinova but Hojo is pretty much the one who killed the planet and I will kill him again. I get him in some lives; in others I let Vincent to take him out. I may not like killing people but there is always a little satisfaction in killing Hojo or knowing he's dead.

…

By the time classes were finished and I had eaten I had a little time to shower and change before meeting Zack. We took our time walking down to Sector 5. When we got to the church we took note of the Turk watching over her. Reno; that was a good thing he would just observe. If it was Tseng we would have a problem.

Aerith was there waiting for us with open arms. In our first life Aerith and Zack had been together and he had been my best friend. After 4 or so years under Hojo's thumb and then his death, Zack and I became more than that in the next life and Aerith never begrudged us our love for each other. I never had any intention of getting between them and I wouldn't have blamed for going back to her. Angeal may have been his first love but after he died the first time Aerith was the one who picked Zack up and put his pieces back together. She's much more like an older sister for the both of us now, sometimes almost motherly.

We sat down on one of the pews looking out over the flowers. Aerith was in between me and Zack holding both our hands. "Do you know why things are different this time Aerith?" I asked her.

She looked at me; her bright green eyes dimmed with sadness, and then looked at Zack. "This is your last chance." Her voice was quiet but clear. "We are tired; Gaia and the Cetra. We have no more energy to pull this off again. If we fail this time it's the end of us all and Jenova will take over."

I was in shock, I know I said I didn't think I could do this again but I never thought there would be a last chance and coming back so many times. I stared out over the small field of flowers blankly.

"We can do this. Don't give up. Angeal and Genesis are alive this time, we can cure them and they won't have to suffer from insanity or death. They won't leave Sephiroth and he won't feel betrayed. That was the start of it all you two know that." Zack said, the determination in his voice clearly heard. Aerith smiled happily at Zack.

"Okay it's time for our final plan." I looked at my two best friends. "We need to tell Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis everything, every last detail. We aren't going to be able to pull this off by ourselves. We may be able to cure Genesis and Angeal but we need a scientist to make the serum for them and we wouldn't be able to administer it without them knowing what it is. If Sephiroth does start to go mad after hearing us out we should be able to take him out before he gets ahold of Jenova. We also need a hacker to get into the system. Once I make SOLDIER I'll need a way to fool Hojo and get out of the Mako treatments." I had to stop and take a breath before speaking again.

"I suggest we bring Tseng in. He has the highest clearance and knows most of the backstory even if he doesn't yet know what could happen; he could also get us information on a scientist that will keep their mouth shut." I watched Zack think over everything I said and waited to see if he had anything to add.

"I agree. If we're going out might as well do it with a bang. We should bring them here, we know this place is being watched by the Turks so getting Tseng here will be easy and no one will be able to listen in like at H.Q. Seph, Gen and Angeal will be around my place tomorrow to have dinner with us so we should be able to talk them into coming with us out here." I frowned at him and he shrugged and smiled. "They're curious about you."

I should have known. It's probably a good thing I wasn't going to hide from them otherwise their interest would be a problem. "Okay. So when do we do this. I know the SOLDIER exam is in a month and soon is when Genesis defects…"

"The sooner the better. Monday Angeal goes on a week-long mission. We could do it tomorrow night and just get it over with. We'll sit down and have a nice dinner beforehand and get them to come out with us. I'd say wait until Sunday but the anticipation is going to be bad enough just waiting the short time we are two day might drive us crazy wondering 'what if' the whole time. It will give Angeal a day to process the info before his mission." I knew he was thinking of how bad it could go by the distress in his voice.

I have to admit that I was a little scared by how bad things could go. If things went horrible we may have to kill not only those three but Tseng as well and I really didn't want to do that I know that his job would fall to Reno but for all that Tseng is a Turk, he's not a bad guy. "Don't think about it Zack. We have very little choices right now and I can't think of any better way to change things." I looked at Aerith who was just watching us talk things through. "Is that okay with you Aerith?"

"Its fine, do what you think is best. I trust you guys but how are are you guys going to get Tseng here tomorrow?"

"Reno. On our way out I tell him we have important top secret info for Tseng and tell him that if Tseng wants to know what it is to be on shift to watch over the church tomorrow night."

"That's fine. I'll be here waiting. Same time?" I nodded.

We stayed a little longer talking about everything and nothing; spending time with each other in the peaceful surroundings. When it got close to curfew we said our goodbyes and left to go back to H.Q. On the way we check to make sure Fenrir was still beside Aerith house, which it was and tracked down Reno who wasn't too far away to relay our message. I had no doubt Tseng would get it or that he would be there tomorrow.

Zack dragged me back to his room and I didn't put up a fight. I wouldn't get in trouble unless I was somewhere without a superior officer. The nightmares would have been worse without him.

We stripped each other slowly. In the quiet darkness our fears take hold and we express them to each other through desperate kisses and muted cries of pleasure; Taking solace in each other's presence and bodies.

After we lay twined together, clutching each other tightly and hoping beyond hope that things will be different this time. Sleep didn't find either of us very easily.