Tick.

She knew this would happen. She had been expecting it for a long time now. Maybe that's why it didn't hurt. Yet.

Tock.

There was something pumping through her system, and it wasn't adrenaline. Her heart pounded loudly in her head. Then the sound just stopped.

Tick.

She was cold. It was ice, in her veins and it was slowly cooling every inch of her. It encased her heart without any mercy. It was freezing every organ and cell. She wanted to thank her body for numbing her.

Tock.

Her body casually moved forward, the movements languid and fluent. She was on autopilot; picking up the discarded clothes she came across. She was oddly calm given the situation; too calm for normality. It was a major danger sign.

Tick.

Two sets of clothes clutched in her hands. In her left hand there was an entire outfit; a males outfit. In her right she held a very stylish female ensemble. There were enough clothes for each person in the bed.

Tock.

In the hallway standing right outside the door she had left open are her friends. The same friends she shared with the sleeping boy, he looked so peaceful and relaxed in that moment. She should feel embarrassed by her audience; she should feel upset at this situation.

Tick.

She doesn't feel anything at all. But there is this slowly building agitation for the over exaggerated ticking of his alarm clock. The one she bought for him because he had wanted it, so he wouldn't ignore it in the morning. The hockey themed clock that she thought was tacky but he loved.

Tock.

She gave him all she could. She gave him her heart willingly and with so much trust. Now she was going to take something back. She flipped the lock on his bedroom window and pushed with a small grunt and a grimace as it lifted from the sill.

Tick.

And time was flying out the window.

Now the room was silent with the exception of the light breathing of the two slumbering parties. Her sigh cut through the air with more resignation than relief. And then she let the window drop with a thud so hard that the glass rattled in the panel. This was enough to rouse the snoozing duo.

Bleary eyed and disoriented they both took a good long look at their surroundings until he spotted her next to the window when looking to find out the time.

"Hi, Adam, we need to talk." She announced calmly and moved toward the bed. She gently dropped the clothes on the laps of the respective person. "You don't mind, do you Katie?"

The girl, Katie, couldn't meet her eyes. Under the sheet she began to pull on her undergarments. Her dark hair was a mess and her dark almond shaped eyes were downturned. She was nothing short of beautiful with her Japanese ethnicity. Her skin appeared smooth and flawless.

Katie wouldn't meet his girlfriend's eyes but that didn't stop her from leaning over and giving Adam a kiss before leaving. She murmured something softly to him that only he heard. He watched her go while fingering the fabric of his shirt from last night. Despite the blankets he felt awfully exposed at the moment.

He wouldn't pull his eyes away from his lap, but he spoke toward her. "Cassidy I-"

Cassidy was in shock, she hadn't felt anything like this before. It was a suppressed pain that only seemed to make her tremble and nauseous. She needed to sit down soon or she would collapse. It had all been triggered by that kiss, it was one thing not directly thinking about it but knowing it happened than to see an innocent form of affection after a previous not so innocent action had taken place.

Infidelity left a bitter taste in Cassidy's mouth and an agonizing prickling in the corner of her eyes.

"No, don't." She cut him off, taking deep breaths to keep herself calm. She looked anywhere but at her unfaithful partner and found a desk chair. She walked over to it and gripped the top of it tightly; squeezing her eyes shut and taking shaky breaths. She rolled the chair over to the middle of the room and sat down on it facing Adam. She was becoming calm again.

"You guys might as well just come in here." She called loudly to the group in the hall. Timidly they all stood in the doorway, waiting to see what Adam would say. He said nothing, he didn't even look at them but a flush had crept onto his face betraying his embarrassment. Cassidy was pleased; he should be embarrassed because as soon as the numb effect wore off she would be humiliated.

"Cassidy-" He began, looking up into her eyes for the first time. She was momentarily left breathless as though someone had kicked her in the stomach before she shut her eyes and cut across him once more.

"No, Adam. This is the listening part; you'll get your turn to talk after I say everything I need to say. That is if I decide I want to hear any of it. I can't say that I'm all that surprised that this happened. It was almost like I knew." Cassidy was leaning heavily on the computer chair to hold her up. She had never shown such bad posture before.

The entire Eden Hall Ducks varsity hockey team watched in silence at the exchange. They had all found their own seats and were all concerned about both parties in the room. They could all tell that Cassidy had become different; almost soulless. Her tone was flat and eerily calm. She spoke quietly but clearly and she acted as though none of them were there. She didn't take her eyes off of Adam whom had averted his eyes again.

"I think that's why it doesn't hurt so much. I can't feel anything but the prickling at my eyes. I'm sorry if I'm crying but I don't really feel all that in control of myself at the moment. I wonder if you've ever done anything like this before. I wonder if it's my fault; it probably is. I mean I told you that I wouldn't have sex with you so I suppose it's natural to find it somewhere else." She was speaking slowly without much of a tone at all. It was more painful for Adam than if she had been yelling and hitting him.

"I also have to apologize for throwing your alarm clock out the window. If you want to know it's just after ten in the morning. I'm full of questions but I don't know if I can handle the answers yet without saying something I regret. I mean I know eventually this blessed indifference will fade and it will have to hurt like hell."

Her eyes which had been unfocused were slowly coming back into focus. She mustered up all the energy and strength she had to give him one command.

"Look at me." Adam Banks brought his shame filled eyes up and swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. She was crying, her eyes were swimming in them. Her voice became soft once more, almost like a sweet lullaby. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you. I mean I can understand it, really I can. I don't even know what to say right now. This was definitely not how I pictured our reunion."

Cassidy had gone out of town on a trip with her cousins to delve into their grandparents past. She had called every night to tell him how things were going. She had seen the chapel where they were married; the house that their grandfather built. She had even had dinner at the place where they had their first date and had the exact same meal her grandmother had raved about for years after. They planned to end the trip at their grandparents' memorials. The trip had been very important to Cassidy; she had loved her grandparents dearly.

God, he was a jerk.

"I feel horrible. Actually, that's a lie. I kind of just feel numb and that makes me feel horrible. I never wanted to feel this way again and I never dreamed it would be you that would do this to me. It's scary to not even have your emotions for company. I'm hoping it's just a state of shock that will disappear and I can pull myself together fast. But I will search out for how I feel. A little embarrassed, I'd say. Our friends all knew about it and they tried to stop me."

Adam looked at his friends; the friends that had fallen in love with Cassidy and were now their friends. They all had difference reactions to his stare and to her admittance. Adam brought his eyes back to her and shivered. She had always been able to make him feel like she was staring through him.

"I'm hurt and I keep thinking about my inadequacy. No photographer or casting director has ever managed to make me feel this low about myself. I know I'm not ugly damn it, but now it feels like I'm not enough for you. I wasn't enough... I gave you so much and I didn't ask for anything. I didn't even ask for fidelity, I didn't think I had to."

It was quiet for a long time while Cassidy slowly calmed herself down. She was bordering on hysterical and yet on the surface she looked so collected. Minus the tears that welled up and rolled down her cheeks every few seconds. They were barely there a moment before she wiped them away. Guilt was practically pouring from Adam.

"Now is the talking time; I'm going to ask you some questions and I only want the honest answers to these questions." She explained and for once her voice betrayed how she truly felt. It was tired and everyone in the room could see how drained she had suddenly gotten.

"Okay." Adam whispered, waiting for her interrogation.

"Were you drunk?"

"Yes." He answered shortly, not wanting to make her anymore upset than she already was.

"Have you done anything like this before?" Anyone who didn't know her well would have missed the moment of vulnerability. Only a handful of teenagers in that room missed the moment of weakness.

Adam didn't want to answer as the reality set in and his jaw quivered. "Yes," he admitted his voice breaking on the word. "We've kissed a few times."

She closed her eyes and let this information sink in.

"It started last month; didn't it?" She asked so quietly that Adam almost missed it. He nodded and hoped that she saw. "Do you love her?"

Adam looked at her wide eyed and he didn't bother to wipe away the two tears that leaked through his defences at the action. "No!"

His heart was beating so furiously he was sure everyone could hear it as he panicked.

"Adam, I won't be mad if you tell me the truth." She reminded gently.

"But I don't love her, Cassidy. I don't." He spoke with childish conviction and probably would have stomped his foot if he had been in the position to stand but he was indisposed.

"Do you..." Cassidy trailed off and couldn't finish her sentence as the question threatened to unravel her. Adam seemed to just know what she was thinking; he could see it in her eyes.

"I love you Cassidy. I never stopped loving you." He told her desperately and she wanted to doubt him and to question why he did it. But she wasn't ready for that answer yet.

She swallowed hard as she felt the cold that encased her becoming too painful to bear. If her heart became any colder it would surely shatter. The ice was stabbing at her and it hurt; god did it hurt.

"Do you still want to be with me?" Everyone caught the vulnerability in her voice that time.

"Yes, more than anything Cassidy. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you; I love you so much Cassidy and it didn't-" Her eyes were shut tightly and they snapped open.

"Shut up!" She cried, standing abruptly. "I can't listen to any of this. We'll talk later okay? Tomorrow night you can pick me up at my room at five for dinner. I don't want to go anywhere nice." Her voice slowly lowered to its normal tone though it wasn't nearly as light and cheery as it usually was. It never lost its sad tenor.

"Okay." Adam agreed quietly. Cassidy smiled but it was painful; it was the smile she used at photo shoots and functions her parents forced her to attend.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She said affectionately, though it was cold.

Adam looked up at her again with wide eyes trying to convey the sincerity of his words. "I love you."

A look that was almost a grimace passed over her features before she sighed.

"I love you too." She turned her back on Adam (it hurt him more than the action should; was she supposed to walk out of his room backwards?) and made it to the doorway before she paused and turned to address the audience she had ignored.

"Connie, Julie, do you want to come over and watch some movies with me? I don't really want to be alone right now. We can go get a bunch of junk food, my treat. And Averman I would really love it if you would join us. I could use a little laughter right now. Anyone else that wants to come watch some movies is welcome to join us; I promise no chick flicks except for maybe Pretty in Pink."

"Of course we'll go with you." Connie answered for herself, Julie and Averman. They all got up and followed Cassidy out of Adam's room with Ken, Dwayne and Goldberg not too far behind. When they all left, Charlie, Russ, Fulton, Portman, Luis and Guy turned to Adam and he felt even more awkward than before.

"You lucky bastard, you have the most perfect girlfriend. I don't even think you know how lucky you are." Charlie commented, blunt as ever. Before the others could make any comments, Cassidy had stuck her head in the doorway with her eyes shut.

"Oh, Charlie could you be a dear and make sure Adam washes in the shower for at least an hour and that he brushes his teeth for a minimum of twenty minutes?" She asked pleasantly but still with the indifference laced in her words.

"Of course," he agreed while the other boys started to snicker.

"Thank you, you're the best Conway." And then she was gone again. It was silent for a moment before Russ turned to Adam with a glare.

"You heard the woman, get your rich white ass in the shower, Cake-Eater!"

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