Dear Anyone Who Is Reading This,
I am a very boring person who dreams of finding out whether Zebras are white with black stripes or white with black stripes; a question we all need to ponder. If there are flames for this then that proves you do not know good writing when you don't see it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: "You want to hear my story? Well I guess so, it's not like I have anything else to do today except all the stuff I have been putting off, so sure why not, but let's begin at the beginning…. I remember it like it was a hundred years ago…"
The Ambiguous Listener: "That's not true! Everyone knows you are not a hundred."
Author: "Hey are you telling this story or am I! Thank you, now as I was saying it all happened on a Tuesday morning (if this was a movie the scene would change, as it is the scene still changed but the reader missed it, to a village marketplace) the sun was hot and everyone went to market day."
The Ambiguous Listener: "How do you remember it was a Tuesday?"
Author: "I don't! I am making that part up, but shush or you will not hear this story. So I was going to market day (which was on Tuesdays and Thursdays by the way) and I came upon an old gentleman….."
Old Man: "Who are you sunny boy?"
Author: "Well sir, I am a servant of the Baron, may he be hogtied." (You may be shocked at that expression but nearly everyone used it and it was deemed by his Baroness to be a right fine expression to be used for him on account of him being a pig wrestler in his youth.) "As to my being sunny, yes sir I am very much, because I do have some coins to spend."
Old Man: "Very good my boy, very good, but can you help me out I want to go to market as well."
Author: "Think nothing of it sir," I said and helped him to his feet and onto the path. The old man began to tell stories of their royal Majesties and the palace they occupied. I had no need to see their palace of fine clothes and said so, but the old man payed no heed to my words and spoke of the gardens and of their own two children the fair princess and their dashing son the Crown Prince. At the market I thanked the old man for wiling the time away with his stories and as we parted he asked if I wished to go there. "To tell you the truth Sir, I do not wish to go there. I am fine where I am serving the Baron, may he be hogtied. The old man laughed and said,
"You may think that while you are so small but in a few years that will all change." "By the way why do you always end your fine Barons name with may he be hogtied, is not that extremely disrespectful to his personage."
Author: "Why no sir!" I replied and proceeded to tell him what I have just related to you. Then I asked him what he meant by calling me little, after all I was a man of 13 and well respected, but he waved his hand and was soon lost in the crowd. I soon forgot what the old man said and wound my way through the vendors.
The Ambiguous Listener: "What was the town like?"
Author: "Why would you want to hear about that?"
The Ambiguous Listener: "So the story will not end on the first page but merely on the second."
Author: "Well you do have a good point there, all right." The town was gaily decorated and the street bedecked with much finery. Almost as if the king was coming or something. The narrow cobbled streets twisted and turned so that if I were not a native of the town I might very well have become lost. The streets were packed with market goers, for this day that I speak of was much like a holiday for a great number of people. The mothers yelled to their children and the fathers stood in the streets with their odd pipes in their mouths and mumbled around them. (These pipes were some of the most famous in the world and the most intricately carved too, In fact George Wilcomb's pipe won best of country in the national fair held every 9 years and right proud we all were of him getting that honor him being from our town and all that.) To get back to the town, the lasses were hanging on the arms of their men and those same young men were strutting boldly down the streets and bowing to anyone who did not have a girl. Which looked like it was just me; to tell you the truth after all I was only 13. No self respecting girl would have taken up with me anyway, cause after all I was short for my age and skinny to boot. I did feel a mite bit sad I will tell you, especially when I saw Snot-Nose Billy with a girl as well. Snot-Nose was the name he got in school and yet there he was with a girl and bowing and carrying on like anything. Man it makes me mad even now to think about him! I oughta find him and…."
The Ambiguous Listener: "Never mind! Never mind about him, continue on with the story."
Author: I moved on pretty quick let me tell you and I was getting on past the vendors to the blacksmiths when.."
Jenny: "Hey! Jimmy!"
Author: "Well hey right back at you, how are you Jenny."
(My older sister's name was Jenny, she was already married and expecting a baby. Her husband was a pipe carver one of the best in the business. Don't even think about making any cracks at my mother's naming ability for babies, after twelve children your mother would run out of names too.)
The Ambiguous Listener: "But your mother didn't have twelve children she had only two."
Author: "SO! Whatever" Ahem back to the story, Jenny asked how I was doing and how the Baron, may he be hogtied, was faring now that all his children were gone from home. I mentioned his sadness and how the rest of the household was coping, and then I said my goodbyes and continued on. In the town square I heard a commotion and so I naturally hurried over. There a proclamation was being read. Little did I heed my surroundings when I heard the proclaimer and what he said perhaps if I had I would not have had as much problems as I did.
Proclaimer: "Hear ye, hear ye one of your number shall be taken into the Crown Prince's service this day. It must be a boy fair of figure that the Prince Himself will choose and forthwith, the person in the capacity that is due him will serve the Prince until such circumstances will occur as to make him unfit for the Princes services, so he shall return to his home with the Crowns permission, and much honor will the King bestow on…."
Author: I could not believe my ears! Was the Crown Prince going to take one of our numbers away even without the Baron's, may he be hogtied, consent. "Excuse me, Mr. Proclaimer are you going to take one of our number away even without the Baron's, may he be hogtied, consent." The Proclaimer stopped reading at my untimely outburst and stared with a cold fishlike gaze at my personage.
Proclaimer: "What did you say?"
Author: "Who, me?"
Proclaimer: "Take him to see the Crown Prince!"
Author: "…………."
Author: And so I was taken to the carriage that stood a little to the side of the Proclaimer, that was what I had not noticed, and what I was wishing I had when the guards dragged me before it. Inside I saw two boys about my age, one was very fat and had a discontented face and the other whom I felt sure was the Prince was skinny and sickly looking, a sorry sight, either of them, for my eyes. The skinny one spoke first, who is this peasant you have brought before the royal carriage? The words seemed to have difficulty in coming out as if he had enough trouble breathing let alone talk. The guards who did not really know looked to the Poclaimer who still looked like a cold dead fish to my eyes.
Then he spoke, "tell him to repeat what he said to me and you will see."
Author: I did not wait for the prince or his whatever to ask me what I said but I said what I had said before. "Is the Crown Prince going to take one of our numbers away even without the Baron's, may he be hogtied, consent." The occupants of the carriage stared at me and I was sure I was to be killed for whatever I had done.
Man in Carriage (skinny): "Why did you call your esteemed Baron that dreadful curse?"
Author:" I did nothing of the sort I…." and there followed another explanation of my words as you have already seen. I noticed the fat and pudgy personage sit up and begin to listen.
Man in Carriage (pudgy): "As Crown Prince I will take you as my personal servant, I deem you worth enough to so faithfully call your master his title for so long." "Tom you are free to go, goodbye."
Tom: "Thank you sir!!!"
Author: "Wait! What!"
Crown Prince:" Tom has served my faithfully but his health is breaking down due to an unexplained something or other some doctor said it was stress but one really cannot believe everything one is told nowadays can we."
Author: That began my life of servitude to the Crown Prince.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Um I don't know why but since everyone else cares, I require three reviews before I post anymore. so booyah.(P.S. It cannot be all from the same person and it cannot be my sister.)