Disclaimer: I do not own The Ring or Scary Movie 3
Blooper 1:
The guy (I forgot his name) looked at the clock. It was 9:59. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. It was now 10:00. Nothing happened. He was relieved. Then black water started coming through the bottom of the door.
"What the hell did you do?!"
The TV turned on to the image of the well as Samara climbed out and started walking toward them.
He turned to his girlfriend (I forgot her name too) who was covering her eyes.
"It looked scary so I didn't look."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T LOOK!?"
"It was scary!"
"WHAT ARE YOU A WIMP?!"
"DON'T YELL AT ME!!"
"Cut!" the director (Hideo Nakata) screamed.
They didn't seem to hear him.
"YOU ARE MY GIRLFRIEND!! I HAVE A RIGHT TO EXPRESS MY OPINION OF YOU!!"
"NOT IN THAT TONE YOU DON'T!"
"CUT!"
Samara was right behind them and they kept fighting. She looked back and forth between them until she decided to go back into the tv. It was the 15th take and if it wasn't for the huge amount of money she was getting for playing in the movie…She would quit.
Blooper 2:
Rachel opened the body bag and screamed when she saw his face. She tried to close it but a hand reached out and grabbed her.
Samara sat up on the stretcher and said in a husky voice…
"Rachel" she whispered.
"…."
"I am your father."
"….."
"Cut!"
Blooper 3:
Rachel reached into the tub, grabbed Aiden and pulled. It was Samara instead. Rachel pushed her back in. She pulled again, it was still Samara, and she was coughing. Rachel and Samara turned and stared at the door. Nothing happened. Neither of them knew what to do. So Rachel pushed Samara the water again. Samara was coughing even louder.
"What the hell is the matter with you!?" Samara screamed.
No one came through the door, so Rachel pushed a struggling Samara into the tub again.
"Get me out of this tub!"
By now it was obvious that no one was coming. Rachel repeatedly dunked Samara.
Splash
"STO-"
Splash
"(cough cough) YOU BI-!"
Splash
"I'M GOING TO SUE-!"
"Cut!"
Then, to the surprise of everyone, Max busts in through the door.
"Hey everyone!"
"…"
"What'd I miss?"
"Where the hell have you been!?" Samara screamed.
"Funny story, I was driving and this freaking HUGE bee flies inside my-"
He was cut off by the looks everyone was giving him.
Blooper 4:
"No pictures" Aiden demanded.
"Okay no pictures" said Max, but then an evil smile flashed over his face.
"Say cheese!" Max screamed. He began taking picture after picture setting off a series of flashes while laughing hysterically. Finally he pulled the camera down from his face…….to find Samara standing right in front of him.
"Do you know what I did to Rachel's last boyfriend?"
"Gulp uuuhhhh"
"Damn it Samara!" Hideo screamed while he looked at the dead max on the living room floor.
He sighed "We're going to have to put it in the script somehow."
He walked back to his director's chair while muttering something about crazy ass Americans.
Blooper: 5
Rachel opened the car door and pulled on max's shoulder.
He turned over and revealed a rotted face. The expression of fear still on it. Rachel screamed.
Then a voice behind her said
"Damn"
Rachel turned around, it was Aiden. "Well… he's not gonna be in The Ring 3" he said.
"CUT!"
Blooper 6:
Rachel struggled to climb to the top of the well. She'd almost reached the top when suddenly, Samara's cold clammy hand grabbed her ankle. She kicked at it eventually landing one on Samara's face making her fall into the water.
Samara's head came out of the water while she held her eye.
"WHAT THE HELL?! THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!"
"Just…" Hideo was clearly very tired. "Just go with it, we'll edit it in."
Blooper 7:
Rachel walked to the edge of the cliff, spread her arms, and jumped.
She was falling peacefully through the air until…
BANG
She had fallen on top of a branch. She slid off of it and landed on another branch.
BANG BANG BANG SLAP WHOOSH BANG
She hit three others on the way down until landing on a particularly thin branch that slingshoted her up making her collide with the branch above that before free falling in a very ungraceful manner toward the ocean below,,,
"Rachel?" Aiden said.
Rachel opened her eyes…and then she fell unconscious.
"Rachel?"
No response
"Somebody call an ambulance!"
People frantically ran around the set while Hideo put his face in his hands and shook his head.
A/N: Not my best work I know. Not as funny as I'd hoped it would be either, but I was rummaging through my endless documents and junk files when I found this sitting unfinished and neglected and decided to complete it. For those of you wondering, the idea for blooper 7 did come from scary movie 3, which I also do not own.