I do not own Hetalia. That is all.
/
"Pack your bags, boys, your new home awaits."
That's what the case worker told my brother Emil and I. I watched him cry and shake when they told us about the accident, so I put an arm around him in what I hoped was comfort. A car accident, killing our fathers in just a few moments.
And I couldn't feel a thing.
But then again, I never have.
/
We arrived on the doorstep of an old victorian aged building with two towers on each side, making it look like a castle of a fairy tale. I craned my neck to see the top of the building where ragged tiles dangled loosely from their places on the roof. The building was made of cracking stone bricks and the air smelled of dust and wildflowers.
An young woman with brownish hair introduced herself as Elisabeta and trailed us into the house to show us our room. She would be the one to take care of us, or so the caseworker had said. I tried to keep some sort of sad expression on my face as we were brough to our room, doing my best to mimick my brothers face.
When I was a small child, I was put through numerous tests to figure out what was wrong with me. You see, my brain has a block of sorts where it cannot process emotions of any kind, leaving me where I am now.
A scarecrow.
When the door to our room shut to give us privacy, I let the uncomfortable expression drop and crawled next to my brother on his assigned bed.
"This place" he hiccuped, "I hate this place. I wanna go home." He pulled on his hair and cried into his knees. I struggled to remember what daddy used to do when he would cry. He would hug him and rub circles into his back, right? Or was it...
I forced my body to relax and draped an arm around Emil's shoulders, hugging him close to my chest so he could cry on me. I could feel a wetness running down my cheeks and just simply stared at the wall across the room. There was a dent near one of the desks that was shaped like an elephant, I remember. I tried to point it out to Emil, but he was fast asleep, so I pulled out mama's pocket knife and carved the word "elephant" as intriquetly as I could above it.
When he woke up, I was gone.
Four thirty six in the morning, the case worker and two of his henchmen came in, packed my bags, and took me away "due to overcrouding." I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye.
Should I be sad? Angry? Both?
/
I was dropped off at another old building with a stern man and a soft faced woman. The man was introduced to me as Vash and the woman as Lilly. Six forty three in the afternoon.
The winding hallways were huge and they all looked similar. If it wasn't for Lilly's help, I would have been lost four or five times on my way to my new room. Vash simply barked out orders on which halls to go down and then left, but Lilly led me by her skirts to the room.
I didn't have much luggage, only a duffel bag flled with shirts, underwear and pants and mama's pocket knife.
"Why hello there" a voice called from behind me, "you must be new here, my name's Francis."
I turned around to see a boy around who looked around seventeen with shoulder length blond hair and just a hint of facial hair. He held out his hand to me and I shook it.
"Lukas Bondevik."
/
"Lukas, I want to introduce you to my family. This is Mattie," Francis pointed to a kid who had freshly cut blond hair that had a curl poking up on the top of his head and a pair of almond shaped glasses perched on his nose, "Mattie, this is our new roommate, Lukas."
"It's nice to meet you" I forced a smile and shook Mattie's hand. He looked at me sideways like he was trying to decyfer something and then cringed away from me. He must not like being looked at.
"Sorry-" I began but Francis cut in.
"Mattie is scopaphobic" he explained and Matt's face lit up like a christmas tree.
"You shouldn't be embarrased," I tried for reassuring but it sounded more like I was straining, "I have a neurologic dissorder, everyone has their diffrences."
"Nerologic dissorder?" Francis looked at me like I was a new breed of insect.
"No emotions" I said, waving a hand in front of my hand as if to say "no vacancy."
"Mattie has a neurologic dissorder too, he can't feel pain." I tried to smile, tried to seem like I was relieved, but in truth I just felt as I always have.
Numb.
/
After about twenty introductions and a few games of spoons, I finally am introduced to everyone associated with my roommates. There's Ludwig, Gilbert, Mattie, Francis, Lovinio, Eva, Juan, Antonio, Veniciano and Maria. Easy enough to remember. Francis and Antonio are definatly together, thats obvious in itself. Eva, Juan and Maria are Antonio's sibblings, all younger than himself. Again, easy enough. There's only one thing I have to confirm.
I take the bunk above Mattie, as high as I can get. I've always had a thing for high places, the higher up the better. Leaning over the rail, I can see him drawing what looks like Eva with her hair in a bulky braid, a large cat curled up in her lap. The attention to detail is to be admired, I must admit. Wait, is that an emotion? Admiration? Perhaps I should write it in my list. I'll have to study it.
"Don't you ever sleep?" I say only because I can't figure out another way to start the conversation. I tilt my head to study him. His face is soft and his hair is stringy like fine yarn. His lips are the color of peach skins and his eyes remind me of grass.
"I guess so, I'm an insomniac so it happens kind of rarely." His expression shows no discomfort so I press on.
"Can't you take medicine for it?"
"Sometimes, but I don't take it often. It makes me drowsy." I wonder for a second if I should roll my eyes. That's what mama used to do.
"Isn't that kind of the point?" I ask.
"Kinda" I silence myself, wondering if I'm pushing to far. I can never tell. I pick at a scratch in the railing of the bed and my hands itch to carve. I resist scratching at my arms.
"Do you sleep?" he asks, tilting his sketchbook to a new angle.
"No, too many things I don't want to dream." The numbness is tingling and the itching is becoming worse. I look over to where my pocket knife lays.
"That one guy from eairlie, the dark skinned one, what was his name again?" I ask even though I know the answer. I'll fake ignorance for now.
"Antonio" his voice is tinged with something like hostility. I wonder if he hates the guy or he's waiting for me to bash him or something.
"He's with Francis, right? Your brother?"
"Yea" I think I hit a nerve.
"I grew up with two dads. I used to call one daddy and the other mommy so I could feel normal," I use the word feel lightly, "Daddy was in the millitary and mommy was a cook. It was kinda fun." I pause in scratching at the railing and look down at him.
"Was that guy with the red eyes your boyfriend?" I say and his face lights up again. Confirmation complete. I try a laugh and roll over to where my knife lays. Just a small flick and the blade comes out, I decide to add another to my list.
Love. Right across my leg, below Anxious. I hum mother's lullaby under my breath as I work the letters into my skin and let the chinking of father's dogtags bring me back to when I was younger.
"Hey Mattie?" I say suddenly as I wrap the words in white, "You still awake?"
"Yea" he calls back up in a hushed voice.
Good I think to myself I don't want to be alone.
And I wonder again if thats an emotion.
I can only hope.
/
Here's the story you peeps have been asking for! Chapter one of HIWTHI "Sequel" telling Lukas' story from his point of view. Chapter two is almost done! Hope you enjoy !
PLEASE R&R my lovely sunflowers!
~Yulie