A/N Oh hay. Little one-shot in my head that's not Dan and/or Phil. I know right? It's Pewdiepie this time. Most the story is a flashback, so you don't get confused. Oh and the poem was written in like 5 minutes. At midnight. I don't even...
Disclaimer: You recognize, I don't own.
Once I had to write a poem for school. It went like this:
Life is a fragile little thing,
Held up on one little string.
Sometimes it seems the string can't hold,
What your future has foretold.
Some look past the dark bit,
Seeing they can make it.
Others can't see a path by,
Thinking their only exit is to die.
But if one can be shown it's natural as night,
They'll see that everything's alright.
Now I see the true meaning behind it that I saw when I was writing it. But sometimes people forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My phone startled me out of my book. I carefully grabbed it, careful to not hit my arm on the table. I already harmed it enough tonight. I checked it to see message from Pewdie. It's rather weird how I never call him Felix. To each their own, I guess.
Hey Jen! There's a party tonight at 8 if you're interested. Text me back If you can come.
Pewds
Then again he calls himself Pewds. I typed out a reply quickly.
Sure! How fancy? What should I wear? Where is it?
I hoped that I could wear long sleeves to hide my scars. Nobody knows and I'd prefer it to stay that way. My phone buzzed and rattled me again.
Not a ball, so like a little dress. Something you'd wear to a high school homecoming or something. It's at the little club thingy near my place.
Nope. Looks like I'll have to be careful and wear some foundation or brackets over it. Maybe pretend I've injured it.
I went to my closet to find a nice little ice blue dress and matching bracelets that wouldn't move on their own.
I put on the dress and did my make-up. Everything looked wonderful, except for one thing. I put on the bracelets, and I looked relatively normal.
I checked my phone and went to my car, grabbing a little purse on my way out. I got in and drove over to the club.
I parked my car to see Pewdie outside with Marzia, waving at me. I got out and hurried over to them.
"Hey guys! Marzia, you're so pretty!" I said.
"Thanks. But look at yourself. You're beautiful!"
"Oh stop it." I said " let's go in."
I followed Pewdie and Marzia inside to reveal a nice little club. I saw Cry at the bar and made my way over.
"Hey Cry, come to visit Pewdie?" I asked, ordering myself a drink.
"Yeah, I'm here for a few more days then I go back." Cry replied, taking a sip of his drink.
We stayed at the bar chatting for a few more minutes, then Pewdie and Marzia came over and joined our conversation.
"So how life without the parents, Jen?" Marzia asked.
"I can drink what I want, definitely." I said with a laugh. "I do keep in touch, though."
Actually, my parents either Skype or call me every week to scold me about not going to college straight away or how my brother is smarter than me. Which, in turn, let to my self-harm.
Speaking of the devil(s), my mom called. Right then.
"I got to get that, sorry." I said rushing outside and answering my phone. "Hello?"
"Hello Jen. Have you decided to go to school yet?" My mom asked.
"We've been over this. I'm going next term."
"Jen, you really should've gone right after you graduated. Look at your brother; he went straight to college and has a very good job now." My mom said.
"Well I'm not my brother, am I? Why am I inadequate? Just because I need to decide what to do before I spend money?" I spat out, not noticing Pewdie and Cry come out. "I've done the best I can."
"That's not good enough. You're such a disappointment to this family."
That was the breaking point.
"Okay." I said softly. "I see where you stand. Hope you're happy."
I hung up, noticing them. How much did they hear? That doesn't matter now.
"Everything okay Jen?" Pewdie asked.
"Oh, yeah. I've got to go do something for my mom."
"Want one of us to came with?" Cry asked, reaching for my arm.
"No!" I said sharply, jerking away from his hand. They couldn't find out. "It's... it's something I've got to do. On my own."
I was twisting my bracelets now. I guess it couldn't take the amount of stress I was putting on it because it snapped. Quickly I snatched the pieces off the ground and hid my wrist from their view. The bracelet caused a few new cuts to reopen, and I hissed in pain.
"Jen are you okay? You sound in pain." Cry asked, again reaching for my wrist.
"Im. Fine!" I said. The inner side of my forearm was shown for a second, and I was 99% sure they saw my cuts. Shhhhhhhiiittttzu.
"Jen..." Pewdie said carefully, eyeing my arm. "If there's anything you want to tell-"
"NO!" I yelled, moving to my car. "Guys, I have to get going." And with that, I got in and left, seeing Pewdie running back inside and Cry moving toward his car.
Driving to no particular location, I just ran away from my life, my dark patch. I reached a tall-looking building. It'll have to do. I scribbled a quick note and left it in my car, not knowing Felix had an extra set.
I got out of my car and took the elevator to the top. This could work. Reaching the top, I went to the edge and looked down to see another car pull up beside mine. A figure got out and got in my car. It was in my car for a minute and then got out, looking up. It dashed off inside.
Looks like I've got a time limit now. I took another shaking step toward the edge and went onto a little ledge. The darkness below seemed comforting, like I'd take away my pain. It would. I took another step, to the edge. Just before I was going to step off, a pair of arms pulled me back.
I looked up to my 'savior' to see it was Pewdie, with tears in his eyes.
"Jen... don't... please." He said, voice cracking and a tear sliding down his face.
I turned around and buried myself into his arms, a tear going down my face.
"Pewdie. I'm sorry." I whispered into him.
He started stroking my hair.
"Jen, please don't do this... not now or ever." Pewdie asked, borderline begged.
"It's just been so hard..." I sobbed. " I wanted it to be over."
"I know... you just need someone to tell you it's alright." He said, stroking my hair. "Come on, let's go, Cry may or may not be waiting."
We got up and walked to the elevator and rode it down. On the way down, Pewdie texted Cry that he could leave, he'd drive with me.
We got to the ground and walked out the building and to my car. I went to the passengers seat and Pewdie into the drivers.
The drive home was a long, silent one. The only noise was Fall Out Boy in the background, playing me to sleep.
I woke up when I heard Pewdie turn off the music. I was now pretending to be asleep, however still half-conscious. Pewdie walked to my side and opened the door. He tried to wake me up.
"Jen. Jen?" Pewdie called softly.
I didn't reply, so Pewdie lifted me out of the car and carried me inside my apartment building. He stepped inside the elevator and went up to my floor. When we reached my floor Pewdie took me to my apartment and brought me inside.
He went to my room and set me on my bed.
"Goodnight Jen." He said, kissing my forehead.
Just before he left my room, his phone rang. He quickly answered it, not wanting to wake me up.
"Hello? Hey Marzia, yeah I found her. I may have to stay the night and make sure she's okay. I have to talk to her in the morning, and..." Pewdie walked out of the room, continuing the conversation with his girlfriend in my living room.
I sat up. I didn't want to keep Pewdie from his life, busy with mine. I didn't want to be a burden on him.
'Why didn't he let me do my thing? It's my life.' I thought as I laid back down and fell asleep.
I woke up in the morning to the smell of coffee. Last night's events hit me in the face like a frying pan and I decided that Pewdie was still here.
Getting up from my bed, I went to the bathroom and looked at the mess called my face. I still had make-up on so I washed that off and brushed my teeth. I looked for my razor, not to cut but to shave, and not finding it. I looked around some more and didn't find any more.
I went back to my room and exchanged my dress for a tank top and pajama pants, and came out of my room.
"Hey Pewds." I said weakly, not ready for confrontation.
"Hey Jen. As you've guessed, we need to talk." Pewdie said, sliding a coffee to me. "And yes, for the time being I have removed all razors from your house. It's just not safe. What if we actually lose you?"
I launched into an explanation of how I graduated high school and didn't know what to do, so I took a gap year. My parents didn't like that, so they basically disowned me and ridiculing me, which is why I started cutting.
"... and tonight she called and pushed me past my breaking point. I just wanted everything to be over with." I finished.
I waited for him to say something, but he just came over and hugged me. I hugged back, harder.
"Don't listen to her. You're wonderful. If she has a problem with you, then she can complain at her house." He said. "Is there anything else?"
I shook my head no. He got up and ruffled my hair playfully.
"Wanna see a movie?" He asked. "There's a few good ones out."
"Sure. Let me get ready." I said, going to my room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~un-flash backing~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'I guess younger me was wiser than older me. But it doesn't matter, what matters that you made it through.'
"Jen? You ready?" I heard Pewdie call as I put down my pencil after writing last night's events down. "The movie's gonna start soon."
"Coming!" I said as I grabbed the original copy of the poem. I went out into my living room where Pewdie was waiting.
"What's that?" Pewdie asked, pointing to the poem.
"A reminder."
A/N That's a wrap. Ugh this took longer than expected. Oh well. If any of you guys needs to talk to someone, pm me. I won't mind.
Stay lovely,
~Ms. Moonshoes Potter.
