A/N: When I heard of "Shrek the Musical", I first thought that I had to see it! But then I realized that it was just the same thing as in the movie, except with songs-and only one of them was good! ("It's a Big Bright Beautiful World!" You can find it on YouTube) Though, that particular number was actually so good, that I couldn't stop thinking about it! And eventually, I realized that it fitted Zoidberg perfectly! So I wrote this. I apologize if you are offended, angry, or disgusted at this humor-intended fanfic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Futurama, Sherk, or Sherk the Musical.
Once upon a time, there was a little lobster alien that lived with his parents on Decapod 10. It was a pretty smelly place. But he was happy, because Decapodians loved nice and smelly places. On his birthday, the lobster's parents sat him down to talk, just as all Decapodian parents did for thousands of years before.
His mother began, "Listen son, you're growing up so quickly. Growing up, bigger by the day."
Then his father said, "Although we want you here, the rules are very clear!"
"Now your 18...", sang the mother.
"Now your 18...", chanted the father.
"It is time...", they sang together, "TO GO AWAY!" They blowed some noise makers while the young lobster sat there with his expression saying, WTC?
"Your mother packed some seaweed,", said the father, "for your trip."
The mother said, "Your father packed your sandals, in case heat."
"Your gonna make us proud! No backing up around!", they both sang.
"Just keep walking...", the mother sang.
"Just keep walking...", the father sang.
"...and you'll find," they sang together, "somewhere to go!"
They sang, "It's a big bright beautiful galaxy, with happiness all around! It's tunas and cream! And every dream come true!" The young crab smiled and headed for the door, it wouldn't be so bad.
The two parents looked at each other, they decided to be truthful, "BUT NOT FOR YOU!"
He turned around and said, "Say what now?"
"It's a big bright beautiful galaxy,", they sang, "with opportunities, everywhere!", the young lobster envisioned himself as a rich doctor, "And just around the bend, there's a friend or two!" He smiled, he liked having friends, he was about to leave when his parents sang, "BUT NOT FOR YOU!"
Did they not want him to leave?
The mother put her claw on his shoulder and sang, "Your a loser son, so that means life is harder. Most creatures hate the things they can't understand."
"And they tend to make a fuss when they look at us.", the father sang.
"Burn our houses down,", the mother sang.
"And chase us...", they sang, "...off the land!"
"It's important that you find a cozy place!", the father sang.
"A place that none of them, would dare to treed!", the mother sang.
The young lobster thought, Earth wouldn't be a bad place.
"And if they come on by,", they sang, "make sure you terrify them! If you don't son, then you'll surely...WIND UP DEAD!"
They then stopped singing and said, "Bye bye!", pushed him out the door and into a cab. Something told the young lobster that they had planned this.
So, the young lobster traveled across the galaxy for a place to live, and every he went, everybody seemed to be having a wonderful time!
One time, he had walked into a 24th century themed dance party on Olaf 12 and herd the dancers singing, "It's a big bright beautiful galaxy! With happiness...all around!"
And one drunk sang, "It's beer and cream!"
"And every dream come true!", the dancers sang.
The young lobster, excited, walked into the middle of the dance floor.
The dancers continued singing, "It's a bright beautiful galaxy! With possibilities, everywhere! And just around the bend (the bend) there's a friend or twoooooo!"
A spotlight went onto Zoid-I mean, the young lobster and an alien with needles for fingers that held a balloon in one hand and a microphone in the other came up to him and sang, "For everyone! And everyone! Yes everyone! That's everyone!" while handing the balloon to the lobster. Happy, he reached for it, but just as his claw almost got it, the other alien popped it with one of his needle-fingers, pointed at him, and said cruelly, "BUT NOT FOR YOU!"
The 18-year-old slumped as the spotlight headed for a 17-year-old Decapodian, who was with her parents, they sang to her,
"Take a look Edna dear,
how they hate that loser so.
Yes, we know he's ugly darling,
but these are things you have to know!"
They then dragged her away from the place, the young lobster tried to reached for her hand, but it was too late.
He slumped again, why did loserness have run in his family except for his Uncle Harold?
The dancers were now slowly beginning to go after him with laser pitchforks and holographic torches singing,
Get the hell out of here!
We don't like any more!
In fact, we never did!
Because you are...A LOSER!
He then he had sneeze, and when he did, it was so loud, it sounded like a roar! Everybody then ran away from him, thinking he would beat them up (yeah right).
He eventually went to Mars University and graduated with half a degree for machine (he only got half because he did one of those big sneezes at everybody who picked on him), and then, heeding his parents words, he headed to a place were none of the bullies would dare look for him...
...Earth.
Zoidberg stepped out of his dumpster, at night, and sang, "Keep your big bright beautiful galaxy! I'm somewhat happy were I am! All alone! I've got all I need!", he pointed to the dumpster, "Keep your big bright beautiful galaxy! I can party on my own! Anyway! Doing what I can in a one-man conga line! Yeah!", he then demonstrated this, "Keep your big bright beautiful galaxy! With all it's teddy bears and unicorns! Take your fluffy fun! And shut it were the sun don't shine! Yeah!"
He the got out an expired martini from his dumpster and sang, "I prefer a life like this! What? No! I am not lying! Yes, I'm destine to be lonely and hated! And if you watch the cartoons, it's why I was created! BUT I DON'T CARE! Cause being a player is highly overrated!"
He threw the martini to the ground and sang, "Who needs a big bright beautiful galaxy? I've got my own little patch on the galaxy! It's not a big bright beautiful galaxy!", He took in a deep breath, "But it's m-"
(A/N:The following isn't really part of the real song, I made it up)
The people from apartment windows started throwing stuff at him and yelled, "BOO! BOO!"
Zoidberg quickly dodged all the things and shut up. He didn't want to get risked getting hit again.
Professor Farmsworth, who was wearing hair curler for some reason, opened his window and yelled, "Confound it Zoidberg! Must you do this every Tuesday?" He then threw a shoe at him.
Zoidberg then crawled into his dumpster, closed the lid, curled up into a ball, and softly, and slowly, sang to himself, "I've got my own little patch on the galaxy. It's not a big bright beautiful galaxy." he sighed, "But it's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."he sniffed, "Yeah..."
The lobster, named Zoidberg, then cried himself to sleep.
THE END
I might have been a little OOC, but I wanted to stick with the them of the song. And this might have been to long, but hey, I probably won't write my chapters so short anymore!
And now, please, review this story.